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26 Regrets When You’re Older Livingstone, Zambia

I was basking on pool lazy chair on a comfortable warm sunny Zambian afternoon beside the infinity pool of the lodge along a rapidly rumbling Great Zambezi river with a chilled glass of Sauvignon Blanc talking to a friend who came along with my partner and I for a short weekend getaway when we met two old couple from Maine who is on their 50th anniversary travel treat.

We said our pleasantries when the wife had to excuse herself to go to the bathroom. We asked the husband where they are from, where they have been and is it their forst time. Common questions you asked a fellow traveller.

He told us this is a trip for their 50th anniversary trip and that they have been to Africa once during their 25th wedding anniversary. However, they have to pend it for three years just to save money.

My friend who has been married for almost 20 years and I’ve been with my partner for mere three years. When the couple left us, we both look at each other realizing, were here and it’s at a point of our lives that we don’t need to celebrate something monumental and need not to wait till retirement to travel to places few people can travel to. We both are herr because circumstances has given us the opportunity to be here. We are driven with earning as much as we can so we can enjoy life’s comforts at a later time. Along the way priorities changes that we pend initial plans we had till it’s to late to do it. There are life compromises one has to do that leaves us to sacrifice what we want and need. And that is life. That would have been me.

Travelling is an opportunity that one seems easy to think but, hard to choose to do. Most of us say if we are given opportunity to travel we will. But, in reality most of the time there are so many things to consider that prevents us from doing just that.

My opportunity to travel I thought came easy it’s hard to fathom. Less than 2 years ago, I’m one of those who’s close to numb of work its almost something mechanical I have to do. I’ve been doing same mundane job for over 12 years I can close my eyes doing it. One of those working who I think has been comfortable on doing what I’m asked to do and with the same position for 3 years. I’ve also started to think Im being unfairlt ignored by the management when it comes to promotion.

Then I met someone that I am more than fortunate to meet and be a "hitchhiker" hopefully forever. 

We've been to places where we were the youngest by far. You’ll see couples close to retirement or retired who have to save either time and or money to have the opporrunity. Physical limitations on things they can do while travelling seems to be a common issue. There’s kids too, work, business, time and money. It’s humbling to know that people took them a lifetime to be able to travel to see and do things and I’m doing it now. All because I have met my partner.

There are certainly other ways to experience places like this while young and I’ve seen young people roughing it up. Have seen a young man with a massive backpack walking along the border of Zimbabwe and Zambia alone surely seeing the Victoria Falls and the Great Zambezi River along the way. Group of friends sleeping on the airport floor looking beat. Young couple who spent summer break volunteering in the slum of Kenya.

When one looks at it, we could just put the things we’re doing down, pack and leave. It would be ashamed to read your own 27 things you regret when youre older which most articles almost always includes; not travelling while young. When opportunity does presents itself-take it. Iff not make your own opportunity to travel while young. You probably will just have 26 regrets when you’re older list.

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Excessive Helpfulness

We were at Kitui, roughly 200 km South East of Nairobi yesterday.

All of my partner's lifestyle excesses are sometimes extends to excessive helpfulness to some sometimes. We have been invited by one of our house cleaners to his hometown. He wanted help on purchasing a maize mill machine to start as a business. He has been proposing this to us for almost a three months and we have had to pend it after going to a relative's wedding celebration in Houston, Texas-first class all the way, including a two day New York City visit staying at The Plaza. 

Muli was one of our cleaner who comes every Saturday in the old house we rented with another gentleman for almost a year. They are cleaner's at my partner's office who asked if they could clean our place that was massive for two person tow stay. We had rented a mansion I would say with 8 rooms to cleans (including the kitchen). So, they come every Saturday for at least 4 hours to clean for roughly USD 30 each. I could clean it myself, since we hardly ever use any of the other rooms. There's only the master bedroom, living room and kitchen. However, my partner insisted as a way of helping them earn a bit more.

We have to leave and decided to rent a service apartment hence that extra income stops. By then, one of them, Nicholas has already close to completing a house in Masinga and Muli has been a mystery. He hardly ever talks unless being spoken to and very soft spoken person. Both had asked for help to start a business which was agreed for their proposal to be looked at.  Nicholas wanted to start a provision shop and Muli, wanted a maize mill machine which has a budget of USD 2000 each. Now, should it have been me, I'd kindly inform them I don't have enough money to fund the whole thing but will help maybe half of the budget and let them work the rest up by themselves. But, the expectation was higher for us to give them full support, and frankly my partner has already decided to help. 

We both visited their hometown partly to see how their live and meet their families as well. Here, when you visit their houses, eat the food they prepare and drink tea with them gives them a sense of wonder, gracefulness and pride by just accepting their offers. I wonder of their parents has passed them the colonial mentality of being inferior to lighter skin or they just have not had the opportunity of mingling with other nationalities. However, give them a few minutes and they'd be as confident anyone who has had dealing with Mzungu for a long time, but with a lot doses of less serious talks. 

I've been always wary with people asking for help. We have had experience though few of assisting someone and feeling of being force to build a relationship with the person. I think of it as being forcefully adopting them and have to continuously assist them all the way up to even to their meals. And I'd thought they are just pushing it to hard. 

Nicholas and Muli are someone I feel at least comfortable with in terms of their effort of wanting to lift their lives and their extended families a little bit comfortable. Muli who is tasked now to take care of his two passed away brother's wives and kids could make it easier for him with the small mill business. Traditionally he, being the only man left of 7 siblings has to take over the rest of the responsibilities left by the deceased father and two brothers. Nicholas who has been suspended for an accusation of theft in the office has now moved on to put his effort on taking care of his young family and a new business venture. His provision shop aptly named Sky Is the Limit. 

I'm thinking the guilt of excesses in most of the things we do is lessen by helping. Likewise, we are continuously amazed how small amount for most can transformed lives to start a venture which gives them a push where hope of a better life is closer than ever. 

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Concrete Jungle

Almost 35 hours travel from the the real jungle to the concrete jungle- New York. I would say, Nairobi-Dubai-Houston-New York route is not something I would recommend to someone who have not been traveling long distance for so long. But, the moment I arrived in New York, 0000 hrs 09 Mar 2014, the day when they started Day Light Saving Time, I've forgotten the exhaustion of traveling.

On the way to South Central Park to check-in the hotel, I can't stop but, gazed left and right of the car afraid of missing some place I may have seen on movies or TV. Every corner seem like places that has appeared  on screen,

I made it a point to wake up early to walk along the streets of New York, New York. 6 am, for an hour I walked for few blocks in an almost empty streets wondering where did the expected crown go.

Went back to the hotel, with fingers and ears numb relating how crazy-empty the streets were. It was pointed to me that it was Sunday.

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Lonesome over solitude

One year without a job. One year far away from where I considered home. One year of being far away from close friends. Close to three years of being with someone I love.

This time, amids the comforts I'm provided I'm starting to feel lonely. I've realised that giving up things are part of choosing to be in a relationship but, it does feel unfair sometimes. Giving up so much supposedly to be happy but, seems to make someone happy of lately.

I'm missing solitude,  which I've mastered for almost 12 years, and the comfort and happiness It brings me.

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Slim/Hungry Calendar

I’m looking at my google calendar and it’s rather slim or hungry.

Never been actively using google calendar even when I was still working. I prefer to do my scheduling manually. My former and dead you-can-only-learn-so-much-from-a-bitch boss used to say; it never happens if it’s not written. And so I use both. I have my small calendar notebook and my google calendar which I try to update as often. I like google calendar mainly due to the sms reminder. And prefer my calendar notebook because it looks busier.

Though recently I have been looking at both calendars trying to fill it up with something. And I’ve realized, what’s the fucking point?

Calendar has been somewhat helpful as a reminder but, kind of making me more depressed recently scheduling something mundane and or trying to schedule something…anything. I can still atleast put something more important or official that involves other people than myself.

I’ve decided to quit my job, being a trainer to follow my partner accross the continent, 8,000 miles away to be together. That was 7 months ago. And when you look at my calendar, I only have paying bills, doing groceries, and attending party my partner organised or invited to. There’s hardly any schedule for me other than the volunteer teaching I’m doing 3 times a week.

Today, I’m looking at it again and really thought of the reason why I’m still bothering. And should my partner finds out, he’d probably will think why do I need, though I’m sure he’ll be either encouraging or would say that’s nice. Well, I’ve seen his calendar and meetings, presentations and travels fills up the dates. That makes me more depressed.

Regardless, I’ve decided to still update my calendars no matter how mundane the schedules are mainly just to be reminded of somthing that keeps me busy.

Tomorrow, grocery between 1 to 2 pm.

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This happens at one of the most sensitive times. Closure of several US Embassies across Northern Africa due to terrorist threats, the 15th anniversary of twin bombings of US Embassies in Kenya and Tanzania and the Somalian terrorist threats.

It's not reassuring when you think you are in the middle of all of this things. Kenya has been relatively peaceful and I've never felt  in danger here. It does help that I have someone who has means of making sure of having the basic security and some.

JKIA if I remember was listed as one of the worst airport in the world considering it's the busiest airport in East Africa. You'd wonder where did all the money collected from the immigration went to. The place is old and I would not be surprised if it's a fire hazard considering how ill maintained and how out-dated it is. Fortunately, no reported casualty.

This is to me a blessing in disguise to finally force the government to work on much needed improvements and renovations. I just wonder many years will this take for them to finish.

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There is a certain assurance the sun gives us wherever we are. You can tell yourself, it is the same one when you were happiest and loneliest. It’s humbling to know that whatever you are feeling now, these too shall pass.