julien-caradec

[julien-caradec]

emeline-of-anjou​:

Armed with a few bags of Chinese takeout, Emeline bumped Julien’s door a few times with her hip and hoped that he would hear her unconventional knock. Per usual, she had gone a little overboard when she ordered the food. She couldn’t help herself when it came to noodles and dumplings and figured that they could split whatever was leftover. “Hey, let me in before I wither away from hunger!”

@julien-caradec​

After having rehearsed on the pieces that the philharmonic would be performing this weekend, Julien was carefully setting his cello into it’s case when he heard an odd thump on his door. The sound wasn’t cause enough for him to investigate at first until he sound of Emeline’s voice had him closing the remainder of distance. With a grin, he pulled the door open and saw her standing with bags of food and reached out immediately to lighten the burden. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? And with food? Were you concerned that I’d become too much of a recluse and come to check on me? Also, are we feeding a small army?” He teased while pulling the door wider to let her inside.

[julien-caradec]

jaewon-calves​:

Jae chuckled lightly, a little bashful. “Yes, I will likely be bruised later. But I’ve had worse. At least this time I wasn’t in competition.” Thinking back to his fall at Four Continents was not super pleasant, so he pushed that way down. The question made him smile. “Yeah, I think that might be the best thing to do for today. I’ll text my coaches to let them know. They’ll understand.” Jae rarely ever left practice early or took a day off. Not to mention, one of those coaches was Adrien’s brother. He surely understood. “Let me just head to the locker room to change really quickly and I’ll meet you by the entrance.” Leaning over, he brushed his lips against Julien’s cheek before getting up to hobble towards the locker room to quickly removed his skates and dress himself in a loose, casual tank top, shorts, and sneakers. Athletic bag slung over his shoulder, he returned to Julien and hesitated slightly before taking the other man’s hand in his. “Do you have someplace in mind?” 

Julien was a little surprised that Jae took him up on the offer to end practice and follow him on whatever adventure he came up with. Still, he was pleased that the submissive agreed. “Meet you by the entrance.” After Jae’s lips touched his cheek, a smile pulled at his features and he quickly placed a kiss on his forehead before watching him make his way to the locker room. Julien made his way back towards the entrance to wait. When Jae took his hand, upon his return, Julien gave it a gentle squeeze before turning to lead the submissive out of the rink. “I didn’t really have anywhere in mind at first. Are you hungry? We could always grab something to eat if you are. If not we could simply take a walk in the park, or go somewhere and relax. I’m happy to just spend some time with you, if I’m being completely honest.”

[julien-caradec]

Aldebaran: What’s something you care desperately about? Canopus: Have you ever broken a bone? Bellatrix: Have you ever been forced to lie/keep a secret? Alphard: Have you ever lost a friend? Vega: What’s something you’ve done that you wish you hadn’t?

Aldebaran: What’s something you care desperately about? 

Music, my music skill, and my music career.

Canopus: Have you ever broken a bone?

I don’t believe that I have...

Bellatrix: Have you ever been forced to lie/keep a secret? 

Already answered.

Alphard: Have you ever lost a friend?

In the context of, they no longer wanted me to be their friend, yes.

Vega: What’s something you’ve done that you wish you hadn’t?

Attempted to be more the type of Dominant that people expect instead of the type of Dominant that I am.

[julien-caradec]

Phoenix, Cigar Galaxy, Shooting Star

Phoenix: Favourite thing to wear?

A hoodie.

Cigar Galaxy: How’s your flirting skills? 

Not very good. 

Shooting Star: If you could bring back one thing, what would it be? 

Would one of the many genius composers of the past be allowed? Because that would be my choice.

[julien-caradec]

Venus . Betelgeuse . Gemini . Sombrero Galaxy . Wormhole

Venus: What’s your first language?

French.

Betelgeuse: What’s something you can never forget about? 

My music. Or music in general.

Gemini: Favourite song?

Après un rêve - Fauré

Sombrero Galaxy: Do you have a crush right now?

I... yes. That would be @jaewon-calves.

Wormhole: What’s something you wish would happen, but know won’t?

Perhaps, being more confident and never doubting the type of Dominant that I am.

[julien-caradec]

Bellatrix

Bellatrix: Have you ever been forced to lie/keep a secret?

I can’t remember ever being forced to lie... but I’m sure that @emeline-of-anjou has asked me to keep a secret.... or forty.

[julien-caradec]

sentencestarters-and-asks​:

Send a space thing for questions

Planets: Life

Mercury: What’s your full name? 

Venus: What’s your first language? 

Earth: Where’s your home? 

Mars: What’s your sexuality? 

Jupiter: Do you have any siblings? 

Saturn: Any pets? 

Uranus: What’s your hobby? 

Neptune: When’s your birthday? 

Pluto: What time is it right now where you are? 

Moon: What are you currently studying/hope to study? 

Stars: Experiences

Sun: Have you ever had alcohol? 

Sirius: Have you ever failed a class? 

Rigel: Have you ever gone on a rollercoaster? 

Deneb: Have you ever been out of your home country? 

Arcturus: Have you cried out of something other than sadness? 

Betelgeuse: What’s something you can never forget about? 

Aldebaran: What’s something you care desperately about? 

Canopus: Have you ever broken a bone? 

Bellatrix: Have you ever been forced to lie/keep a secret? 

Alphard: Have you ever lost a friend?

Vega: What’s something you’ve done that you wish you hadn’t? 

Constellations: Favourites

Centaurus: Favourite holiday?

Orion: Favourite month?

Cassiopeia: Favourite book?

Delphinus: Favourite study?

Hercules: Favourite instrument?

Gemini: Favourite song?

Pegasus: Favourite place to be?

Libra: Favourite colour? 

Phoenix: Favourite thing to wear?

Aries: Favourite movie? 

Cygnus: Favourite weather? 

Hydra: Favourite sound? 

Galaxies: Love/Friends  

Milky Way: Who’s your oldest friend?  

Andromeda: Do you consider yourself social? 

Black Eye Galaxy: Do you believe in love at first sight? 

Cartwheel Galaxy: When was your first kiss? 

Cigar Galaxy: How’s your flirting skills? 

Comet Galaxy: Have you ever had to leave a relationship because someone changed too much? 

Pinwheel Galaxy: Would you date the last person you talked to? 

Sombrero Galaxy: Do you have a crush right now? 

Bode’s Galaxy: Have you ever had a secret admirer? 

Sunflower Galaxy: Would you date/make friends with someone out of pity? 

Tadpole Galaxy: Would you deny a relationship/friendship? 

Whirlpool Galaxy: Have you ever cried over a breakup? 

Other stuff: Wishes 

Comet: What’s your big dream? 

Asteroid: What does your dream life look like? 

Meteor: What’s something you wish you could tell, but can’t? 

Nebula: If you could undo one thing in your life, what would it be? 

Shooting Star: If you could bring back one thing, what would it be? 

Pulsar: What do you hope to do in the next 10 years? 

Supernova: What’s one thing you want to do before you die? 

Quasar: If you could spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be? 

Wormhole: What’s something you wish would happen, but know won’t? 

Black Hole: What’s the last thing you want to see? 

[julien-caradec]

[julien-caradec]

jaewon-calves​:

It was so comforting to have Julien’s arms around him, holding him tightly. He’d been holding onto so much grief and guilt and concern over where things were going to go with Julien. A dark and scary part of him wanted to tell Julien that he wasn’t good, he wasn’t worthy of the Dominant’s patience. But he didn’t. He simply let Julien hold him, occasionally letting go with one arm so he could brush his own tears away. What an emotional wreck he’d become. “I’m really happy there’s a chance with you too.” Jae knew it wasn’t going to be easy for him. He’d known it from the second Julien had kissed him. But it was so worth it to try, and he would try his damnedest. “I don’t think I’m going to get anything productive done on the ice today,” he said with a wet laugh as he pulled back slightly to look at Julien. “Thank you for coming to see me fall on my butt.”

As Julien held Jae, he allowed the submissive whatever time he needed and gave what comfort he could in the embrace. After all, this was the beginning of something for the two of them, a step forward, and Julien knew that this would not be the first time he would need to offer support to the submissive, and no matter what the other might need moving forward, he hoped he would be able to be there in that capacity. Whether Jae needed a shoulder, or an ear, whatever it was, the Dominant was prepared for what might come. As the other male pulled back, Julien’s eyes roamed the submissive’s face and he smiled. “I came to see you, which I’ve successfully accomplished, I might add. I’d already forgotten about the fall. Although, I have a feeling it might be a little less easy for you to forget. I imagine you might end up with a bruise after it. But... if you don’t think you’ll do anything else productive, what are the chances that I might be able to get you out of here?”

[julien-caradec]

jaewon-calves​:

It came as a huge relief to hear that Julien returned his feelings. Jae’s head was so scrambled, going from deep grief and sadness to the happiness that Julien provided him. He was so tired and his body ached and yet he was also thrilled. He reached over to wrap his arms around Julien’s middle, overwhelmed by the Dominant’s kindness. He said so many amazing things that Jae couldn’t imagine actually deserving. “I’m really glad…that I’m not the only one feeling this.” He held tightly onto Julien. “Thank you for being patient with me and kind to me. I know it’s probably not easy or ideal to have to wait for me. But I really do want to move forward. Together.” 

As Jae wrapped his arms around Julien, the Dominant did the same, holding the other to him and listening to what was said. “I was afraid I was the only one feeling this, so it comes almost as a relief that I’m not.” He replied, and as the submissive thanked him he sighed, “You don’t need to thank me for those things. It’s easy to be kind to you, Jae, you’re a genuinely good person. Good people are worth being patient for, and whether it’s easy or not hasn’t crossed my mind as I’m just happy there’s a chance with you. That’s enough for me. We’ll move forward at your pace.”

[julien-caradec]

jaewon-calves​:

Jae listened to what Julien had to say, and when the Dominant reached over to wipe away his tears, Jae instinctively moved closer, eventually letting his head rest on the other’s shoulder and hoping that it was okay. He needed Julien’s warmth. “Thank you,” he said, feeling comforted by the Dominant’s words, his assurance that what Jae was feeling was understandable. Just feeling heard helped so much. He’d only ever told Jian about the argument that preceded the car accident and the guilt he carried for it. To bring Julien into that small bubble of trust was important, especially if they were ever going to move forward. 

Lifting his head from Julien’s shoulder, he looked at the Dominant’s face. “I want you to know that I like you so much. Being around you makes me feel so many things that I never thought I would feel again. Butterflies. I never thought I’d have butterflies again,” he admitted. “Even when Adrien is on my mind, you are still not far from my thoughts. Sometimes it’s a little scary to like someone so much again. But I’m always happy to see you, relieved even. Even just now, you saw me wipe out and I hate that, but I was still so relieved to see you.” He sighed, wiping his face with this hands. “I hope you don’t see me differently after today, but I’d understand if you did.”

As Jae moved his head to Julien’s shoulder he wrapped an arm protectively around the male, happy to offer the other physical comfort in any way possible. Julien hoped that his words had made sense, although it made him nervous trying to say them, when he heard the thank you it eased his concern. He simply wanted to offer the submissive support in any way he knew how. Words certainly weren’t easiest for him, but they seemed to get the message across this time. It meant a lot to Julien, that Jae was trusting him enough to tell him the things that he had. He couldn’t imagine how difficult the topic was to bring up out loud, knowing that it must already be difficult enough to remember in silence.

His eyes met Jae’s the moment that the submissive lifted his head from Julien’s shoulder, and what he heard after was completely unexpected. He felt his heart speed up, knowing how the other felt about him. To know that he was in the submissive’s thoughts even when he thought of his claim, it was proof that he meant more than simply a friend. Proof that what he had been feeling wasn’t something he was feeling on his own. “First, the perfectionist in me understands not wanting someone to see any less than your best, and I’ll not make you feel bad for that, but I also know not to judge your talent based off of one mistake. Second, I like you very much as well. The fact that I’m able to make you feel the way that I do... well, I can’t find the appropriate words to say how that makes me feel. And third... perhaps, most importantly, I don’t see you differently in a negative way. If anything, I see you as someone stronger than before... I can’t imagine going through what you’ve gone through, and I can’t imagine how you feel. I can, however, see that despite all of that you’re this incredible person. You’re pushing through despite everything. If anything it only makes me want to be with you more.” He offered Jae a smile, “I want to be there for you, I want to make you happy. And I’ll be patient. All you have to do is tell me if things are ever too much. We can take things slow, as slow as you need.”

[julien-caradec]

jaewon-calves​:

Jae wasn’t sure why Julien’s immense capacity for compassion still surprised him. He knew what Julien was saying was true. Adrien wouldn’t want him to be unhappy for the rest of his life, or for any part of it for that matter. Jae knew this. It was still difficult to convince him he deserve to move on and be happy. But he wanted to. “I thought I was going to be with him for the rest of my life,” he admitted. “This entire year…I’ve been about to look back and think about where we were a year ago. I’m running out of days now. And on that day…” He placed his free hand on his chest, trying not to get too worked up. “When I think about where we were a year ago on that day, I’m going to think about being in that car in the rain and arguing. Our last conversation was an argument.” He looked over at Julien, a sad, teary smile on his face. “It still hurts so much I can hardly breathe sometimes.” 

“That’s what we all wish for when we claim, is it not? That’s the intention, at least, to spend the rest of your life with that one person. And I’m sorry that you didn’t get that time. I imagine me must have been someone incredible.” From the short time he’d known Jae, the type of person he seemed to be was the sort that left Julien without doubt that his late claim was a genuinely good person. This fact, in turn, left the Dominant feeling that it must be immensely difficult to lose a person who would have been what he imagined Adrien to be. It was a pain he, unfortunately, couldn’t fully comprehend not having been in the same situation but he sympathized. Hearing that the last memory Jae had with his claim was an argument left Julien with a slight ache, knowing that would have likely made the pain of loss that much stronger for the other male. He shook his head a moment as he his eyes ran over Jae’s sad expression. Reaching up he wiped a tear from the submissive’s face. 

“I can’t understand completely, as I’ve not lost someone that important to me, but I do know that the pain you feel is something that’s only natural. And the argument? That doesn’t define the relationship you had with your claim, and I wish there was a way to go back and change the way things turned out, change it so if you had to have a last memory that it was at least something you can remember fondly and with some sense of happiness. I suppose it makes closure only that much harder... but, no matter what happened, you still deserve to be happy. People argue all the time, it’s a flaw we all have, unfortunately. I just hope that in turn things get easier for you.” Julien took a deep breath and squeezed Jae’s hand that had remained in his own. “All I can say is to take what time you need to grieve, to feel whatever pain that you feel. You have me, and you have plenty of friends and family, even your in-laws who I’m sure are willing to help bear that pain with you in any way we can so that you know you’re not alone. And if this is how you feel every year from here on, I hope you know that it’s okay. I sincerely hope that nobody judges you for how you grieve your loss. Only you know what his loss in your life means to you, and only you know the strength of the relationship you had with your claim. But out of that, you can still be happy. You can still find happiness, and it won’t be the same as with him. But it can be it’s own thing, something else, something different... and it’s okay. It doesn’t dishonor anything you had before.”

[julien-caradec]

jaewon-calves​:

Jae looked at Julien’s hand as he reached over for his and gladly accepted the small comfort of hand holding. “Thank you. That’d be nice,” he said in reference to them taking more breaks together. He always wanted to spend more time with Julien, even if he felt selfish for wanting to take more of his time. At the questions, he sighed. They weren’t easily answered. He hadn’t spoken to Julien about Adrien much. He hadn’t wanted to be too whiny or sad around the Dominant. But it had been weighing on him too, Adrien’s continued presence in his mind. “I’ve…mentioned Adrien to you once I think. Or my in-laws perhaps. I haven’t wanted to bring him up much. It doesn’t seem fair to you to do that. But he was my partner and sometimes it feels not fair to him to keep on living my life happily.” He brushed his free hand over his eyes, frustrated with himself for even saying the words. “It’ll be a year since he died on the seventeenth. So he’s been…on my mind.” 

Although they hadn’t talked about Jae’s previous relationship much, Julien did remember what little had been discussed. It was no wonder that the submissive was having such a difficult time compartmentalizing. A loss like that, and the reminder of how long it has been, was enough to throw anyone off focus. “It’s only fair that he’s been on your mind, and I don’t think you’re being fair to yourself either.” Julien commented softly. “He was a huge part of your life, I would say it’s only natural to feel the way that you do, and the fact that you’re thinking about him... but I doubt that he would have wanted you to live an unhappy life without him. I didn’t know him, but I have a hard time believing anyone who you would have been in a claim with, would have wanted anything but the best for you.” He took a slow breath and then said, “Grieving is natural. Missing him, I’d expect you to miss him the rest of your days, but life can’t stop there.” He wanted to pull him in, hold him, but for now he simply let his thumb run along the back of Jae’s hand as he spoke.

[julien-caradec]

jaewon-calves​:

Jae could hear the concern in Julien’s voice, and it tugged at old notions in his brain that told him to do better at hiding his struggle. Looking down at his lap, he smiled. “No, I’m working as hard as I usually do.” That was true. “I’m really annoyed at myself honestly. I’m usually a little better at compartmentalizing when I’m on the ice. Lately, it’s just been a little more difficult to focus.” And sleep. Sleep was hard. He smiled over at Julien. “Taking a break or spending time with you will never impact me negatively in any way.” He knew Julien was working hard as well, as their schedules hadn’t been able to match up in some time. If taking breaks meant more time with the Dominant, Jae was not about to complain about it. 

Julien listened intently as Jae spoke. Taking note of what he said, he was glad that the submissive wasn’t working himself harder than usual. Still, his comments didn’t erase the concern he felt. With a smile, however, he reached over for Jae’s hand, taking it in his own before saying, “Then I promise to make a better effort to take breaks to spend time with you. Even if it’s something simple, just like this.” With that said, however, he circled back to what Jae had said earlier, “Why are you annoyed with yourself? And what’s been making things so difficult to focus? Is it something I can try to help with? You know, no matter how busy I might be, I’ll make time to listen and help you in any way that I can.” The implied fact that he cared was likely clear in the words he said. Even if nothing was official between them, it was easy to tell that Julien cared, he wouldn’t have spent such effort trying to get to know Jae if he hadn’t cared. 

[julien-caradec]

jaewon-calves​:

Jae, too, was happy to see Julien. His presence was grounding in a way the submissive needed right now. “I’m glad you won’t judge me too harshly based on what you just saw.” He glided over to the opening in the rink, where one of his coaches brought him the guards for his skates, which Jae thanked him for before applying the guards and leaving the ice. His body was already starting to hurt. “You’ve been very busy,” Jae agreed with a weak smile as he moved closer to the Dominant. “I missed you too.” He reached out for a hug, as had become customary between them. “I’m okay. I’m a little tired lately. My body feels tired.” He gave a vaguely pathetic chuckle. “Let’s sit. It’ll be nice to take a break.” He led Julian to a nearby bench, sitting down with a wince. His body hurt after his fall. “I’m really glad you’re here.” 

Julien was more than pleased to return the hug as Jae reached out for him, holding him for a fraction longer than he might have if they normally would have greeted each other. As he pulled back and listened to the submissive’s response, he felt a slight sense of concern creeping in, nodding as the other led him over to a bench. “I’m glad to be here here.” He answered with another smile before asking, “You haven’t been working yourself too hard lately, have you? I know a dedicated work ethic.” He had a tendency to let himself get carried away with rehearsing and perfecting music for a performance, and he knew that at times it could lead to neglecting certain needs such as sleeping, or his Dominant needs. “If you were, I suppose I wouldn’t have room to talk seeing as I’ve been doing the same.” He commented with a small laugh. “I should take advantage of breaks and maybe try to get you to do the same with me, if it wouldn’t impact your training negatively.”

[julien-caradec]

[julien-caradec]

jaewon-calves​:

Jae’s body felt heavy. It had for some days. The closer the anniversary of Adrien’s death came, the more his late partner was on his mind, sitting there, watching him try to live his life and crushing him with guilt. This feeling followed him to the rink. Now, he skated through his new program, barely paying attention to what he was doing. Quad loop, landed cleanly. The following spin, spun fine. The footwork, intricate and neat. But it all felt sluggish. And when he went into his triple axel, his lack of energy finally caught up to him, and he over-rotated, eventually landing on his bottom. He let out a Korean curse quietly and took a moment to get his bearings before pushing himself back up. It was at this moment that he noticed Julien. Even as frustrated as he was that the man had seen him at anything less than his best, he still gave a weak smile, waving to his coaches before skating over to the Dominant. “Hey,” he said, trying to sound like his normal, chipper self as he came to the edge of the rink. “What a surprise. Sorry I couldn’t show you something better just now. How are you?” 

It was incredible, seeing someone move over the ice like Jae did. Julien watched in awe as the first jump was landed, and then again as the submissive moved into his spin. As he made his way into his next jump, Julien cringed at the thought of the pain that must have been felt when Jae fell. Every instinct wanted to move to help the other, but ice fortunately prevented that, ice and the fact that he was reminded that this was definitely Jae’s territory. Although Jae seemed to be chipper, Julien still felt that things were slightly off, he simply couldn’t place it. “Hey...” He replied back, a natural smile overtaking his features as the submissive got closer. He couldn’t help it, he was naturally happy to see the other male. “You don’t need to apologize, I saw some good things. Also, I’ve seen you on TV, I know what you’re capable of. I’ll just come see you again and I’m sure I’ll see more incredible things. But... I’m good. I’ve been horribly busy, missed seeing you.” He replied with a small shy shrug. “How are you?” He asked with genuine concern.