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junglxqueen · 3 years ago

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The Verstappen Devil - In between [01]

Word count: 3k A/N: Long time no see my Loves! So these are a new section of the story that I don´t consider good enough to be a chapter, nor important enough but add a details to the story. Thank you for waiting!

If the plane they had to take was a normal commercial one, they would have certainly been doomed, having to wait another three or four hours for the next one to depart. Totally messing up their already tight schedule.

If that happened their PR managers would’ve had their heads hanging from the ceiling.

Luckily for them that wasn’t the case and after a call from Seb (and never ending scolding from his part), he had the goodwill to talk with the pilots and convince them to make the arrangements and delay their flight (needless to say he wasn’t happy either).

They sped down the Swiss’ streets like the good race drivers they are, doing their best to reach their destination as soon as possible and somehow appaliate the German’s anger. That however, wasn’t the wisest decision they’ve ever made and it wasn't long before they earned the attention of some good police officer that quickly pulled them aside and almost gave them this huge ticket for speeding in the city.

Fortunately for them (and to Y/N annoyance), the good guy recognized the one that had a ‘Schumacher’ on his last name and started freaking out, dripping excitement on the two of them.

So after a “Can your girlfriend take a picture of us?” (she wanted to throw the phone at his face) and a warning to not to speed again (which they did not obey), the good guy let them leave, picking up his phone to make a call as soon as they were out of sight.

“Mom, you would not believe who I just met.”

Inside of the car, Mick’s smirk could not be erased from his face. The sight of a very irritated Y/N and the (for him) hilarious whines dropping out of her lips was something incredibly entertaining for him.

As soon as they reached their destination, they took their bags and ran through the huge airport as if their life depended on it (and in a certain way it did), arriving at the jet exactly two hours later and oh boy let me tell you, Seb was mad mad.

Considering the fact that the older German is a very perfectionist guy and loves to have everything planned down to the last minute, it’s only understandable for him to be this mad for this huge retardement. He scolded the kids for almost thirty minutes (for them it felt like an eternity), only stopping when he felt like he ran out of words to say. The young ones didn’t dare to interrupt him, they knew they had it coming. So with their head downs they took the scolding and profusely apologized when he finally stopped.

After that it all went smoothly (more or less).

They slept for most of the flight, Y/N immediately taking her spot next to her dad and hugging his arm, sharing some sweet father and daughter time and finally recovering those lost hours of sleep. Mick sat next to them and, for the first time in three days, he didn’t have nightmares. But he did have other stuff running non-stop around his mind. For example: that good police officer and his choice of words to describe Y/N and how none of them had bothered to correct him, barely registering the mistake. How he may or may not have gotten a little rush inside of him by the title or how that sunrise they shared under the three felt a little bit too much intimate than they’re used to.

He was confused, especially because he couldn’t let this stuff go. Those things were such little things, but why couldn’t he stop thinking about them?

They enjoyed the rest of the time chatting away, playing cards and eating some of the snacks on the plane. And as soon as they set foot on Spanish lands, all hell broke loose.

Alice, her loyal performance coach, was already there waiting for her alongside Seb’s and Mick’s. They dragged the three of them in different directions. Given their retardment, they were forced to accommodate the drivers’ activities all on top of each other. Which meant that for the rest of the day they were running around like monkeys on a circle, barely having time to rest between one thing and another.

However, if you asked Mick or Y/N if their small getaway was worth all the hustle, they would’ve answered something along the lines of “Every single second of it” (Let’s just not ask Seb).

If Mick was honest to himself, he needed that escape as much as she did.

You’ll see, the last three months have been crazy tiring; the races, the preparations, the training, the expectations, and the drama, oh gosh the drama. Please, never underestimate how mentally draining it can be to be another person’ emotional support.

Don’t get him wrong, he doesn’t complain. He loves to be there for her, be the receiving end of her trust and confidence, be her confident and closest advisor and lend a helping hand on whatever he can. It’s an honour really.

Again, don’t get him wrong. By any means this doesn’t mean that he wants to take away her psychologist’ job. No, Jake can keep that one. That poor man has his hands full with the mess that Jos’ has done and honestly, so far it’s doing an amazing job pulling the pieces back together. Mick can clearly remember how bad it was when she first started and it’s amazing how much she had progressed so far, it kinda makes him proud.

It’s just that he really likes knowing that she feels safe with him, that she feels free able to open up and be vulnerable with him.

It’s the same thing the other way around. Y/N has been there for him since he could remember, been there through the rough (huge) patches of life and was one of the few people that was there to help him out to get on his feet again. But… there’s some things that he can’t quite share with her.

Especially the things that have been running through his mind the last 48 hours.

So, like a psychologist needs its own psychologist from time to time an emotional support person needs their own emotional support person from time to time.

That’s how our dear Mick decided to call his best friend and planned a very much needed guy’s night out for that friday.

On another note, little Vettel found herself in for a very unpleasant surprise regarding the occurrences from the last race. Turns out that the public did not calm down as it was expected, instead after Seb and Jos’ incident the fire was fed once again and Y/N and Max were thrown right back at the center of the storm. That led Alice and Max’ PR manager to decide that damage control was very much in need and they were going to do it in the form of a Press conference.

She really tried to get out of it, pleaded Ali to have mercy on her and let her do it in any other way. She could even write a declaration or film an apology video if it was needed but a press conference alone with Max wasn’t at all something that she was looking forward to.

How her pleas fell deff to her ears, she turned to her dad only to be met with a closed road as well. He himself had to face the consequences of his actions along with Lewis in their own press conference. They were supposed to clear the air and apologize for their behaviour but if the German was sure of one thing is that an apology wasn’t something they were going to get out of his lips.

Instead, he was going to rely on the power of words and make it sound as if he was sorry without ever saying those words and truthfully admitting the blame in this whole thing. If he felt risky he may as well add some spice to it with a hidden truth behind well planned words and a kind tone. He was really good at that and that’s something Y/N wished she had learned from him.

In order to get the young Vettel ready for the ‘peace offering’ (as Y/N liked to call it), Alice had given her a list of possible questions so she could prepare herself, practice her best fake smile and mentally prepare for what is to come.

That’s why she spent most of her Thursday morning, re-reading the questions in her hotel mini kitchen with a freshly brewed coffee cup on her hand and a review show of the latest race playing on the TV as background noise.

“I sincerely apologize- no, I don’t. I feel terrible about- no, that doesn’t sound right. I feel like the outcome…” She mutters for herself, leaning on the counter as she tries to find the correct words to say. Her eyes flickering from time to time to the TV screen that showed the highlights of Italy.

She liked to watch the reviews, she felt as if it was something necessary for her. She liked to see what went wrong, what others did right, what she missed, what she could adopt from other drivers and what could she fix (although this time she didn’t need a review program to tell her what she did wrong).

Her attention was captivated when she recognized her car on the screen and quickly turned the volume up to hear what they had to say.

“But let’s go back a little bit to qualy day, we can’t skip past this Ted. This accident had everyone jumping on their seats and it’s been everywhere since then. Max’s and Y/N’s names were in everyone’s mouth for the whole week. What do you think about this, Ted?”

She sets the cards aside and takes a sip of her coffee, curious to hear what the hosts think about her. One thing was to hear from fans or friends, another completely different was to hear from the mouths of professional sports journalists and she really wanted to know if in their opinion she screwed up or not.

“Certainly it’s unprecedented, isn’t it? I can’t think of an accident like this one on the top of my head. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed such a deliberated and calculated incident in all my career.”

“I actually don’t think there is one, really it’s unprecedented, especially considering the factors that led to it. What is it that we know so far from Max’s mechanical issues?”

“There were two main problems. One: Max radio was out, he was completely alone on the track, not being able to communicate with his team. That isn’t ideal in any case but it isn’t unheard of, sometimes drivers have problems like this. It would’ve been just fine if it wasn’t for the next issue.”

A video of Lewis’s and Max’s small crash replayed on their screen and Ted pointed at a specific spot on the Red Bull car.

“Right… there.”

“Look at that! That's when Max’s brakes blew up. How did we miss that?” Tim exclaimed in amazement.

“It’s easy to, you can barely see it. At first I myself thought that it was just a mere aggressive approach from Max’s side when he was trying to get Vettel’s position. After all, I didn’t see him try to pull over or stop at any moment.”

“That 's right! He didn’t try to stop, didn’t he? I don’t recall him making any stress signals. But there was someone that realized something was wrong, and the most unexpected one must I say.”

“No, really. What is wrong with that guy? He 's erratic.”

Y/N cringed at her own voice replaying on the TV, she never liked to hear her voice back, not in videos, audios and even less on the radio coms.

“Vettel sees that something is wrong after almost contacting him for a third time, so what does she do?”

“Right, let me add something in here before we explain her next move. Here she had the upper hand. She had the pace and the very real possibility to move one position up. She was this close to Lewis, and it would’ve been her first podium in qualy of the year.”

“That’s what makes it more-” Her phone ringing startles her, Alice’s name shining on the screen. Y/N stands up right and picks the mobile up as she goes to wash her empty coffee up.

“Ali, Hi.”

“ Y/N, good to know you are awake. I’ll be in your room in 5 minutes, we have to run.” The woman says in her typical rushed tone. Sometimes the young Vettel worries about her, Y/N may be the race driver but it seemed as if Alice lived her life full on throttle. There are occasions when she had to make Alice take obligatory breaks and some other times she took upon herself the task to teach the older woman to enjoy the small things in life and, unironically, step on the brakes from time to time.

“‘I’ve been up since six.” She complains, offended by her automatic assumption of her being lazy.

“Yeah, sure love. See you in a bit.” The call cuts short before she could answer and she throws her attention back to the TV.

“But look at here, these were the corners that were coming next for the young Verstappen. These were definitely big danger zones and as we can see, several drivers had already had nasty problems in those corners in the past.”

“So you say it was worth it then? according to these scenarios that you’ve run through, there was some real danger that justified her to risk it like this?”

“Definitely, it still surprises me that Max kept racing anyway but it’s even more surprising that she had the guts to pull such a move. Can you imagine if something went wrong?”

“Oh, so many things could’ve gone wrong. Which makes me think, was this a calculated risk? Did she know what she was doing or was this just a reckless move that by some stroke of luck went right?”

Y/N buffed at the commentary as she goes to gather her stuff. Of course she calculated it, who do they think she is?

“One thing I know is that the teams weren’t happy about this at all. Can you imagine? Double the amount of work to repair the damages, the expenses, the back of the grid positions and the argument they had afterwards. That fight certainly did nothing good for their public images.”

She rolled her eyes, did she know about having to make it up to them. She certainly was paying the price of being a good samaritan. Y/N still doesn’t think it’s fair the amount of punishments that she got. She did it to help someone out! Was that that big of a sin? What was her crime really?

“Tell me about it! They even threw gloves at each other! Look at that, one… two… three.”

The images of the fight replayed and she couldn’t hide the smirk that formed on her lips. Now for that one she may deserve a punishment or two but gosh she certainly did not regret it.

“You’ve got to admit it Ted, those flying gloves hold something of humor in them. It’s a bit funny, isn’t it?”

“It definitely is.” She answers for herself before the knock on the door lets her know that it’s time to leave. Walking out of the hotel bedroom she greets Alice and closes the door behind her, not bothering to turn off the TV.

“But let’s be honest Tim, what do you think about the whole thing?”

“Setting aside the obvious issues that both teams had to face afterwards, I think that it was something admirable of what she did. You have to remember Ted, this is not just any other normal driver. This is Y/N Vettel and Max Verstappen. There’s some obvious tension going on here since the arrival of a young girl to the grid and I could even dare to go over the top and call them sworn enemies. And the fact that she decided to hang her possible first podium of the season to help Verstappen out, it’s really admirable.”

“Right? That was what impressed me as well. But it’s really interesting to see this rivalry play out. It’s curious because Max is well positioned, we can say that he is a big contender for the title this year and to see him feeling threatened almost by this just arrived driver that is not even in a competitive position it’s certainly curious, it almost makes you wonder if there’s something behind that we don’t know about.”

“I agree with you Ted, I think that maybe there’s some history there that we haven’t heard of yet. However, without digging deeper and to sum it up, the ruthless hunter had mercy on her prey. If she cared enough to sacrifice her very possible spot on the podium that way for him, do you think it’s safe to say that our favourite Devil is warming up to Mad Max?”

“I don’t know Ted, I think it’s too soon to tell. Especially taking into consideration the argument that they had afterwards, it’s giving me mixed signals so I’ll say that we have to wait and see. I honestly loved to see it. It showed a facet of the Verstappen Devil that I did not think she had in her. I also think that this accident is one of those rare occasions when the sport gives you an example of humanity, solidarity and caring. Which is amazing to see in such a ruthless competition and definitely it’s something to cherish, I don’t think we’ll be seeing something like this again any time soon.” A/N: Honestly, this was the part that I was stuck with for forever now. I wasn't sure of posting it but I wanted to stay true to my word. If you have any feedbacks or ideas, feel free to drop them down. It's always nice to read from you. See you soon darlings! 💕

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junglxqueen · 3 years ago

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The Verstappen devil [09]

Somewhere only we know

Word count: 8.5 k this is a long one

A/N: A bunch of tooth rotting stuff honestly. A little bit of everything going on in this chapter and I sure hope you enjoy it. Thank you so much for your patience and I would love to read your comments and thought on it 💕

Sebastian Vettel, Redbull days. Around 2009 to 2014.

That’s a man that knew no regrets, that lived life to the fullest, thriving in his villain era, self-esteem skyrocketing fueled by wins, accomplishments and championships. He was a man that didn’t know what it was to hear a no, that whenever he wanted something he didn’t rest until he got it and whenever someone doubted him he didn’t waste a second to prove them wrong (actually, it was his favourite thing to do).

He loved seeing their shocked faces when he jumped out of the car after pulling some magnificent stunt that no one was able to replicate. Damn, he even liked to brag about it, scrub it in their faces and lose his marvels celebrating the sorrows of those who wished him wrong, the joy of his victories and the trace of champagne on his skin.

Those were his golden eyes and let me tell you:

He was a scandal.

Personally I’ve never got to see much of it, but I’ve read the papers, saw the videos and heard the commentaries of people that marveled at his talent and drive or hated his guts and his reckless behavior.

Either way, that’s the guy that lies under layers and layers of a changed man, a family man, a caring father, a loving husband, a great friend and an amazing driver.

But no matter how much time passed by or how many facets he added on, even after all this time, the spirit of that guy was alive and thriving, still somewhere deep inside of him, eager to get out and see the outside world again.

That’s why you shouldn’t be surprised by his reaction when he saw me later that day.

The guy finally saw an opening and took the wheel once my dad saw the marks and traces left by my father earlier on.

Even Schumi made honor to his last name and his father’s genes the moment that his eyes laid on my neck.

One word was needed for them to completely go off: “Jos”.

I tried to stop my dad, not fearing for my Jos’ life but more for the image that Seb will be left with if his impulsive reactions saw the light of the day.

However it was impossible to stop him, he was like a man on a mission and it was out of question to get his mind off his new target. Mick followed his tail close by but after some words from my dad he decided to stay behind.

So instead of following him behind, I buried myself in Mick's arms and allowed him to take me to my hotel room and take care of my bruised skin while I let him know, in a very audible tone, what had happened with Jos’ in that driver’s room.

He was furious, I could see it in his eyes, the way his eyebrows furrowed, the clenching jaw, the way he pressed his lips on a line and even the light tremor of his hands as carefully spreaded a healing cream on my neck.

He was aching to go out and destroy a thing or two (better if it was Jos’ face), I was thankful however that he didn’t. That he stayed behind, tried his best to control himself and take care of me in such a gentle and loving way.

I couldn’t thank him enough for that.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to defend you.” He had said after minutes of silently hugging each other on the sofa.

I had cried after I told him the whole thing of how it happened and he had held me through the tears and aching heart. When his arms surrounded me the tremor was still there but this time I wasn’t sure if it was because he was angry or because he was also hurting.

That’s the thing with Mick, he feels too much.

He is able to put himself in your shoes and feel everything that you do and sometimes even more. He’s an extremely empathic person. But to my ignorance, it gets worse when it’s someone he loves, someone so important in his life.

He is not only putting himself in my shoes and feeling the damage that my dad has done, but he was also hurting because I was, because he couldn’t bear to see me in the state that I am right now. He couldn't bear the thought of him not being able to defend me when I needed him and every time he took a look at the bruises on my skin it reminded him of everything that I went through ever since I was a kid all alone.

How could someone be able to hurt his precious angel?

Someone so pure, so loving, so full of life. Only a monster could lay a hand on her and she doesn’t deserve it, heck no. All she deserves is a life full of love, of happiness, of peace, of success.

She deserves the entire world and he is willing to put it in her hand.

He also wants to go up to that oger of a man and teach him a good piece of his mind. He would’ve made sure that he doesn’t forget it, giving him a lesson so big that every time he takes a look in the mirror he would be reminded of how awful of a man he really is.

Damn, he is willing to go to jail for her.

And that is to say a lot.

One thing you have to know about Mick is that he hates confrontation, it gets so bad that if someone slapped him on the face he would put the other cheek and say ‘sorry, here’s the other one’.

(It’s an exaggeration, but you get the point).

So the fact that he is willing to face that monster, punch him right in the nose and face the consequences says a lot about how he is feeling at the moment.

We stayed on that sofa for what felt like hours, silence engulfing us, holding on to each other, as if we were each other’s strength and if one of us dared to let go we would leave the other one with half a heart.

None of us wanted to let go and that was fine by me, I needed this.

I needed him.

It was when the hotel door opened that we were obliged to separate.

My dad came into the room, blackeye, a cut on his eyebrow and red knuckles.

“Dad…” I gasped surprised, he just shook his head.

“You should’ve seen the other one, do you have ice?”

Mick quickly stood up to find some and I buried myself in my dad’s arms.

It was as if a switch turned on.

Since the encounter with Jos until this moment, most part of me pretended that It was okay, that it was something normal and nothing really happened. I tried to be strong but when I felt my dad’s arms around me, everything inside of me broke down. As If I finally understood how messed up my father was and allowed myself to grief and show the pain inside my heart.

I violently sobbed on his arms as he caressed my hair and whispered soft calming words in my ear.

“Can I go and hit him again?” I heard when I finally put myself back together, dad shook his head.

“No need to, already done.”

When we finally let go the ice melted and Mick had to go and find some more.

I didn’t ask questions about what had happened and he didn’t tell me either, maybe it was for the best.

After my dad was fed and ready to sleep, we all sat on the bed and enjoyed some comfort movie we put up.

I rested my head on Mick’s shoulder and held my dad’s hand.

“Sometimes I think that you guys forget that I’m your dad, Y/N.” He said at one point of the movie, looking between me and Mick. “There’s a lot of space in this bed, hands off my daughter Schumacher.”

Immediately Mick took off his hand of the half hug he had on my waist, red in the face and I couldn’t help but laugh at his embarrassment.

“Sorry Seb.” He murmured.

“And there’s something called personal space, put some distance between you two, there’s a lot of space in the bed.” He said putting a pillow between the two of us and an even more loud laugh escaped my lips.

“C’mon dad!” I said enjoying his sudden jealous dad behaviour.

He murmured something about the boys of these days as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, attracting me to him and leaving a kiss on the top of my head. I laughed as I hugged his waist and paid attention to the movie.

Seb threw a look with narrowed eyes to Mick as he gave him a completely confused look.

“But why?” He formed with his lips, only for Seb to see.

“Because I say so.” My dad answered.

When it was time to sleep, both of them refused to leave my room which gave room to a sleeping arrangement discussion.

“I’m the girl and this is my room, so I take the bed.” I said as I shuffled in the bed to find a comfortable position.

“Of course princess, that wasn’t in the discussion.” Seb threw a look at Mick who started to get settled in the bed as well. “And I’m the dad, so that leaves you out of the question.”

“What?” Mick said in a high pitch quickly sitting up. “Why?”

“Because I say so, you got the floor.” Dad said laying down.

“But…” Mick looked at me for help and I just shrugged my shoulders, really enjoying this interaction. It was weird to see this side of dad but it was always fun to me to witness it. “It won't be the first time, why-?”

That’s when he dug his grave as dad rose up again and gave him a nasty look.

“Yes sir.” He quickly said, putting his head down as he got out of the bed and positioned himself on the floor.

“I swear these boys get more shameless every day.”

A laugh erupted from deep in my chest.

“But Dad, it's just Mick!”

“So? I don’t care if he is Mick or Obama. He is still a boy, no boy is sleeping in my daughter’s bed.”

When my laughter died down and silence settled in the room as everyone was drifting to sleep, I couldn’t help but think of how lucky I am to have such an incredible pair of people by my side.

What did I do to deserve them?

My line of thought was broken when a small voice broke through making me laugh all over again.

“Can I have a pillow?”

*****

The next day however was hell.

If everything hurted that night, in the morning I was dying. Every move that I did made my ribs hurt.

Not only that woke up to pictures scattered all over the internet of a very pissed off Seb with a fuming Lewis facing an annoyed Jos (how did Lewis get involved? I had no idea, don’t ask me). It was a series of pictures where it went from them screaming at each other, Lewis pushing Jos when he hit dad, Seb punching him straight in the face and then Lewis having to separate from each other.

If the media was already on their tiptoes after my little accident and discussion with Max, this had them jumping all over the place trying to understand what the heck is going on, delighted with the amount of content that we were giving to the news.

Another thing that didn’t really help much was my miserable and failed attempt to hide the marks on my neck and face. It was impossible, no amount of makeup could hide the nasty bruise on my face.

With that and dad’s swollen face they exploded.

The interviews felt like I was walking on thin ice (which in a way I was).

The press conference, the interviews, anything related to me standing in front of my camera had my PR manager growing white hair. After a lot of explaining and talking with the team, she made a point of making my apparitions as short and quick as possible.

Whenever I couldn’t escape the microphone I tried my best to find the most humorous ways to answer their questions and avoid them digging deeper than what they should’ve. Questions like: “What happened yesterday at the track?” were answered with variations of “that was a mistake on my part, see for a sec I thought that we were playing with bumper cars” or the ones of “What happened to your face?” with a “Oh, I’m a really bad sleeper.” the ones about Seb and Lewis with Jos I completely avoided with an “I have no idea, but it’s not my business either way.” a subtle way of telling them that if it is not of my business, neither is theirs.

Everything that day felt extremely slow, the tension in the paddock was high with the drivers finding out one by one about the drama of the day and you could feel the thick atmosphere. I hated how whenever I was out in public with dad (or with anyone really) I could feel the eyes of the people on us as they kept speculating about what had happened.

A few drivers came and talked to me, Lewis was one of them. Given his close friendship with my dad, he is one of the few people that knew my whole story. Also one of the reasons why he was there when they faced Jos’.

It was great not having to pretend or lie about the whole situation for once.

“He won’t show up here today, your dad taught him a thing or two yesterday and I don’t think he is presentable for a public appearance. And if he dares to come up to you again he’ll have to face not only Seb but also me. I’m getting tired of not stepping in. Don’t worry darling, we have your back.”

He said as he hugged me goodbye and jogged back to his garage. I swear I love Lewis, he is an amazing person and even more of an incredible friend.

Apart from that: Of course I had a fine for that crash. The FIA didn’t like yesterday’s incident whatsoever (doesn’t matter if I did it to help someone out, apparently, they don’t like good samaritans. Next time, let’s just let the other person die.) and they didn’t waste a second letting me know their discontent with a public release and a huge fine.

My team wasn’t happy either. After apologizing with our mechanics and team I walked over to the Red Bull’s garage and said my apologies to them also. When that was done, we had a meeting where they discussed my behaviour (and dad’s) and the damage control they had to do. Then they decided that from the next race and until they thought I was ready, my job was to be Seb’s defense and protection.

Always behind him, covering and helping in anything he needed. At least until they think I’m ready to go back to the front without making a huge mess like I did on qualy.

Honestly I wasn’t too against the idea, I knew that I screwed up their trust and if by laying low I could clean my name up and also help dad go back to his golden days, I’m more than happy to do so.

The race itself wasn’t too eventful.

I started at the back of the grid next to Verstappen. For a good 30 laps we went back and forth. I kept him eating my smoke most of the time, I defended with every bone of my being but it was until my poor Aston Martin decided that it was too much for it and it wasn’t a rhythm that it could keep up that I had to let him pass. Me staying behind with engine problems.

In some twisted way I was kind of satisfied with the race.

I had to leave, yes. But I gave everything on me to get as good a result I could and when the car broke down I was at P10 (Also knowing that I got Maxemiliano frustrated for more than 30 laps was more than enough for me).

C’mon I teached him a lesson. How does it feel to have one of the fastest cars on the grid and not be able to pass an Aston Martin?

Humbling.

Still, It was frustrating not being able to finish the race and the 33 ended up winning anyway.

As I said: frustrating.

Once I was done with all my media duties I didn’t feel like staying around. My mood was still on the floor and all I wanted was to go back home to Angie and my bed. So I made my way back to the car, ready to leave and finish with the nightmare that was being Italy when someone came up to me.

“Y/N!” A voice bathed in sunshine and happiness, accompanied with green eyes and the most beautiful bright smile catched my attention, making me lift my eyes to meet the newcomer.

“Charles, How are you?” I rested my hands on the open door of my car.

“I’m good, I’m good. Good thing I was able to catch you, you were very slippery all weekend.” He said resting his hands on his knees, catching his breath and not losing that big smile of his.

It may sound dumb but his presence is so shiny and bright, cheerful and light that it actually sticks onto you feel as happy as he is. Either that or I’m just an incredibly sensitive empath (which I’m not).

“Oh, I’m sorry about that. This weekend has been… eventful? Yeah, Let’s put it like that. I wasn’t in the mood of staying around a lot.”

“I’ve heard something about it. But are you okay though?” He asked with a worried look.

“As good as I can be.” I gave him a reassuring smile and talked again before he could comment on it. “Anyways, how can I help you?”

He hesitates for a second before speaking. “I was going to ask If I was going to see you tonight but…”

Tonight? What do I have tonight?

A flashback of Carlos commenting about a party Charles was organizing came into my brain and my face betrayed me showing that I clearly forgot about it and he just made me remember it.

“You are not coming, aren’t you?” His smile faltered and the saddened look on his face (like a kid deprived of his favourite toy) made me feel as if I’m the worst human being in history.

“No, I’m so sorry Charles.” I truly was and the tone of my voice showed it. “I completely forgot about it and I really, really just want to go home.”

“Don’t worry about it, It’s okay,” He gave me a reassuring smile, but the sad eyes were still there. “I didn’t want to go anyways.”

“Oh yeah, no, I mean yes.” He quickly replied, suddenly nervous like catched on a lie. “Yeah, it was my party but um, my friends are not going. Carlos had to… to do something and Pierre… Pierre had to… do that thing with him. So yeah, they stood me up.” His words rushed on top of each other as a red colour creeped up his neck.

Uh? He didn’t want to go?

“You’re not going? But, wasn't it your party?”

He hoped his lie was convincing. The truth is that he didn’t even know he was organizing a party before Carlos threw him under the bus in front of you. He didn’t complain though, If that meant you were going to be in the same place as him and he was going to have a chance to talk to you, he was happy. But now that you are not going, what’s the point of it?

Although his lie caused an effect he didn’t count on, now you felt incredibly guilty for bailing on him as well.

“Oh Charles, I’m so sorry. If you want I can stay over a little mo-”

“Oh no, Please no.” He quickly interrupted me. “Don’t feel sorry, you actually saved me. I wanted to go home as well, I’m quite tired.”

He gave me a reassuring smile, dimples adorning the side of his lips and I couldn’t help but smile too. A comfortable silence sits between us for a minute before he speaks again.”

“Well, I won’t stop you anymore. Have a good rest Y/N.”

“You too, see you next weekend.”

“Yeah, See you in Spain.”

He waved goodbye, turning to walk to his car as I got into mine and closed the door. When I turned the engine on and got ready to back out Charles came up with a great idea.

Spain.

Next week is in Spain. Of course! He could use that.

He turned around and trotted back to the car and knocked on the window, making me jump in surprise before stopping the car and rolling the window down.

“Hey, sorry. But I forgot to tell you, Carlos has this thing in Spain. He wanted to invite you and a few drivers over to have dinner in a place he knows. You know, given that it’s his home country and he wants to brag about it. What do you say?” He quickly said, both hands on the top of the car as he leaned over.

Dinner in Spain with some of the guys. Why not? I didn’t get the chance to meet them in a proper way yet, so this could be good.

“Sure,” I said after thinking about it for a second. “Who else is going?”

C’mon Charles, think fast. His brain is going a mile per hour.

“Well, so far Carlos, Pierre and I think Lando too.” They sure are going to kill him.

I smile and nod.

“Great. We have a deal then.” I put out my hand to shake his’ and he quickly copied my action. “See you in Spain.” I let go giving him the best of my smiles.

“See you in Spain.” He said backing out, hands in his pocket and a smile plastered on his face as he watched her back out and leave.

As soon as she got out of the parking lot, Charles took out his phone and called the most important person in the world for him right now.

“Carlos mate, I need to ask you a huge favour and you can’t say no.”

*******

There’s no better feeling than being home after a long and stressful weekend. Although It could be better If my body would allow me to catch some sleep. I’ve been tossing in my bed for the last three hours now trying to doze off but it seems that my brain made the executive decision that tonight I needed to stay awake.

I’m fuming, I’ve tried everything already, from counting sheeps to listening to every colour of noises that you can find, raining sounds, music, tea, anything and everything.

02:30 was my breaking point.

I gave up and accepted the fact that there was just no way I could conciliate sleep.

So I got up and walked to my window, opened and sat on it. Legs hanging on the outside as I rested my upper body on the frame of it.

I let my mind wander as the cold switzerland air filled my lungs. This weekend worked me up, it was as if three weeks worth of character development collided in one weekend. Life was really putting me on the limit and I was barely hanging on.

Is it going to be like this every grand prix?

Did I make a mistake in getting into F1?

My brain was filled with questions, worries and fears and I was drowning on them. It felt like one of those days where you just wanted to escape, have a break, do something different to get your mind off it.

But I couldn’t allow myself to do that, not anymore. Spain was around the corner and I had to find a way to bottle everything up and be on my best game and behaviour so the team doesn’t give up on me.

I had big shoes to fill in and the bar was extremely high. Being the first woman to drive in F1 after decades and having the ‘Vettel’ part on my name set the expectatives up in the sky.

Last weekend cannot repeat itself, not the accident, not the escandal, not my attitude, nothing (although I must say, a lot of the fans loved the fact that I helped Verstappen out. Most of them understood why I did it and the comments and edits about it were heartwarming, it makes me wish I could be as good as a person they think I am).

“What are you doing up this late?” The raspy words in German drawing my attention to my bedroom door.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Messy blonde hair and sleep deprived blue eyes walking over to me. “What are you doing up? I thought you were asleep already” I answer back in the same language, being the one that we communicate with whenever we are alone.

“Couldn’t sleep either, I had nightmares.” He says resting his hands on the window edge and looking outside, shivering as soon as a breeze hits him. “It’s freaking cold,” he crosses his arms to protect himself from the low temperature and gives me a worried look “Why are you so uncovered? You are going to get sick.”

I shrug my shoulders, moving so he can sit with me as well. “It gives me something else to think about and it clears my head.” He takes the queue and sits next to me. “What was your nightmare about?”

For some reason the darkness outside, the cold air and the early hours in the morning makes us lower our voice tones, almost in a whisper.

He doubts for a second before answering.

“I don’t remember.”

Lies.

He does remember, he just doesn’t want to tell her and worry her. But it is a nightmare he almost has memorized for how often he has had it and can’t seem to quite get rid of.

The worst part of it is that it isn’t just a night terror, but a memory that keeps coming back on his sleep. One that happened many, many years ago. He was just a child at that, give it 10 or 11 and you were 7 or 8. It was the first time that he went to your house with his dad and both of you had the ‘great’ idea of escaping the inattentive nanny that was taking care of you two while your dad hosted a driver’s dinner in the backyard.

You had hidden in the garage, excited to show Mick the most amazing thing you had in the house: your brother’s karting car. Both of you had a great time pretending you were the most incredible drivers in the world, until you recognized your father’s steps coming into the garage. You knew he wasn’t going to be happy and even less knowing that he didn’t like you being around your brother’s car. In panic, you urged Mick to hide in the closet, keep quiet and not get out.

You knew your dad’s character well enough and you didn’t want poor Mick to suffer the consequences as well.

You wanted to protect them.

Until that point in his life Mick had never witnessed such a violent scene, he knew your dad was special, you’ve talked about it, but he never thought that it was this much.

He had to cover his mouth and try his best for his loud breathing not to be heard while he closed his eyes, not being able to watch anymore how your father beat you up.

He wished he was deaf as well, so he couldn’t hear your cries in pain and apologies. Even after your father had dragged you out he stayed frozen in his place, crying in the closet in silence in fear that Jos’ could come back.

When he finally had the courage to go out and find the nanny (who was extremely relieved to find him) he asked for you and she said you weren’t feeling well and had gone to your room to rest for the day.

But that wasn’t the truth and he knew it.

He felt extremely guilty for not intervening when he had the chance (even though you had told him not to) but what could a little kid do against a grown up?

Once again he escaped the nanny (who was terrible at her job by the way, how could the kids slip away so easily under her supervision?) and shaking in fear, he went upstairs only to find her bedroom door locked.

“Y/N?” He whispered, too afraid of someone (Jos) finding him where he shouldn't be. “Are you there?”

He heard a huffle on the other side of the door and soon her shaky voice broke through the door.

“Mick? What are you doing here?” She had been crying, he could hear it.

“I needed to know if you were okay. Can you open the door?”

“No, I can’t.” She whispered back “I don’t have the keys, dad has them. Mick you can’t be here, if he finds you-”

“I’m not leaving.” He whispered back, interrupting you. “Are you okay? Can I call my dad?”

“No, please. Don’t talk about this with anyone, I deserved it.” She said, tears coming out of her eyes again, her whole body aching as she sat on the floor, back against the door. “I’m so sorry you had to witness it, it was my fault, I took you to the kart.”

Little Mick stayed silent, he didn’t know much of life and fathers at that time but in all this time, even when his dad was fuming mad at him, he never had reacted that way and he was thankful for it. That was horrible, was that a normal thing? Do all parents do that?

He sat on the floor, back against the door while he played with his fingers, not really knowing what to say.

“Are you okay?” A sob broke through when he asked, she clearly wasn’t.

“No.” Her little voice cracked as sadness washed over her. She was really excited about this evening, she finally saw her best friend after so long and she blew it up. “You shouldn’t be here Mick.” She whispered, not truly wanting him to leave.

Mick didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t call anyone, and he couldn’t get past the door to hug her and comfort her as Michael always does when he feels bad. But one thing was clear, he wasn’t going to leave her alone.

So he did the only thing that he could and slipped his little fingers through the crack between the door and the floor which was big enough to let half of his hand in.

“Hey, take my hand. I’m right here, I’m not leaving, I promise.”

They sat there holding hands for almost half an hour (seriously, that nanny sucked).

Unbeknownst to her, he truly made that promise to himself that day. To stay by her side and take care of her always, to never leave her. If he couldn’t do anything to stop that monster, the least he could do was to be there for her.

From then on, he kept having nightmares of that day. The images were engraved on his brain and whenever you called him in the middle of the night, crying for some awful thing your father did, his brain always took him back to that night.

The dreams always started the same: That day in the garage, both kids enjoying themselves until you made him get into the closet and your father barged in, yelling and beating you. At some point of the dream it changed, morphing into the actual him, locked in the closet, unable to move, shaking in fear as Jos’ beated the actual you, and your cries and pleads filled the room.

It was not until nine years later that he could finally breathe in peace. When a sixteen year old you showed up at Sebastian's house and stated that you were never going back to that awful place and you truly managed to stay there. That day the nightmares stopped coming.

Knowing that you were safe and sound, out of Jos’ reach was all he ever wanted.

He actually thought that they were gone for good. But after last weekend they came back, two nights in a row where he woke up crying, heart hammering against his chest and having the need to check on you.

That was the good thing about living together, he could know that you were sleeping safe and sound just walking 10 steps to your room and checking on you.

You didn’t know about those nightmares, he never told you, he couldn’t bring himself to do so and he planned to stay that way.

“Aren’t we supposed to take a plane in like…” he pauses for a minute to take a look at his watch. “Three hours?”

“Yep, do you have your stuff ready?”

“I do,” He nods “Tomorrow it’s going to suck.” He said looking outside.

I know what he was talking about, not being able to catch some sleep and have a full day of work the next day? Horrible.

“Tomorrow or today?” I look at him playfully and he just rolls his eyes.

“Today I guess.” He pauses before looking back at me “What kept you awake?”

I shake my head, thinking about the question before answering.

“Too much in my mind, I keep going back to the weekend and all that happened.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“With the first thing that comes into your mind when I say Italy.”

That’s how we spent the next half an hour talking. I poured everything that I had in my mind on him and he just sat there and listened to me, commenting from time to time and giving advice whenever I asked for it.

“I can’t help but think that maybe he is right, I don’t have what it takes to be here and all of this, everything that I’m doing is just a brat’s whim. I don’t know if I can keep doing this Mick, I don’t know if I truly have what is needed.”

“No, shut up. You don’t say that, that doesn’t even have to cross your mind. Y/N you are amazing, you won F3 and F2, you came along and in one movement you mopped the floor with all those guys. You are incredible, you have the skill, you have what is needed, everyone knows that, don’t let the words of some green old man make you doubt everything that you’ve accomplished so far.”

I look at him and give him a sincere smile.

“Yeah, I guess you are right.”

“No, no guess. I am right, end of story.”

I laugh and nod. “You are right, you are right.”

“I’m starving.” He said after a moment and I gasped in excitement that I’m not the only one dying of hunger.

“Me too, should we have breakfast?”

He shakes his head in denial.

“There’s nothing to eat. We haven’t gone shopping yet so we are out of food, and there’s nothing open at 3:30 a.m to go buy some now.”

I look outside the window, thinking about our options and my lightbulb turns on when I see a bright “M” sign in the distance.

“I know of something that is open at 3:30” A mischievous smile forming on my lips, he looks at me confused.

“What?”

“Mc Donalds.” I point at the sign so he can see it as well.

“No.”

“Awww, c’mon Mick! I’m going to die of starvation.” I whine holding my tummy in the most exaggerated possible way and giving him my best puppy eyes.

“Don’t be dramatic. You are not going to die, just wait a bit and we can eat something healthier at the airport.” He says being the voice of reason between the two of us, knowing how important it is not to break away from our strict eating regime.

“But I won’t survive that long! Besides, It wouldn’t be the first time we break our diet, no one has to know.”

“Giovanni always knows.” He says referencing his personal trainer.

“Please Mick.” I say elongating the ‘e’ “We can drive around as well, it would help to make a change of scenery for once.”

“But we just came from Italy!” He exclaims amused by my childish behaviour.

“And look how that turned out! It’s not the same, you know what I mean Mick. Please, for me. I need it.”

He looks at me, analyzing the situation and probably my mental state as well.

Truly he does know what I mean, it’s not the first time that we do something like that. Sometimes when we feel like everything is too much, we get in the car or his motorbike and just drive around the country with no destination, just wherever the wind takes us. Other times we go to a little place we know and love and spend the day there, enjoying the surroundings.

He heavily sighs before standing up.

“Fine, but you put the baggage in the car. We are going to land directly into the airport.”

“Yes!” I jump and hug him in happiness, quickly running over the walk in closet.

“You are truly something else Schatz,” He says for himself watching me disappear into the room with a small smile on his face, “And put something warm on! It’s cold outside.” he yells, stepping out of the room to get himself ready.

Not even fifteen minutes later we are both in the Mc Donald’s’ drive through waiting for our orders to be delivered.

“I can’t believe you are making me eat burgers for breakfast.”

“Oh, shut up. You know you like it.” I slap his shoulder as I receive the food from the window. I thanked the lady as I set the warm bags of food on my lap and the drinks on the floor. “Are we going to eat in the car, or you wanna go somewhere else?”

“Let’s go to the three.”

Immediately I know what three he is talking about and don’t doubt in agreeing with him.

Seb and Michael had discovered the place one of the times the four of us had gone out for a walk, long before I had completely moved to the country. The first time they laid eyes on the green grass and the river flowing by a huge oak tree they fell in love with the place straight away.

It wasn’t a spot like any other, no. The peace, the quietness, the energy that it radiated was incredible, it felt like it was disconnected from the outside world, from the world in general.

The river and the tree competed against each other to be the most amazing characteristic of the place but I must say that the tree had the upper hand.

It wasn’t uncommon to see oak trees in Switzerland but one this big? I don’t lie when I say it’s huge, It’s one of the biggest and fullest trees I’ve ever set my eyes on.

So quickly it became a special place for us, for my dad, for Uncle Michael, for Mick and me. With time they set up a wood bench from where you can see the sunrise and sunset and they hung from a branch of the three a pair swings for me and Mick to play around.

That was our place, and it was a beautiful one.

Whenever one of us needed peace, this is where we came.

“I don’t know if it is just me, but it looks even more wonderful in the early morning.”

I say as I sit cross legged on the bench and set the food next to me, Mick quickly follows with a blanket on his hand.

“This place will never lose its magic.” He says spreading the blanket between the two of us to shield us from the cold dawn breeze. “But yeah, It looks even more wonderful at his hour.”

I hand him his food and I start to unwrap mine.

“You’ll pray or I’ll pray?”

“I’ll do it.”

After he thanked us for the food we didn’t waste a second to start eating it.

“This is really good.” I moan, enjoying the taste of the burger and he hufs in response.

“C’mon I can do one better.”

“That’s not a lie, you should open up your own place.”

“And leave you without your most fierce competitor? Not a chance.”

I laugh, rolling my eyes at him. “Dang it, I almost got you.”

I look around the place. It’s incredible the amount of memories that this place holds and the fact that so many years had passed by and it didn’t change a thing. It feels as if the place is disconnected from the passage of the time, as if just yesterday the four of us were playing soccer and eating PB&J sandwiches while we watched the sun set. I could bet that if you stayed really, but really quiet you could still hear the wind echo Uncles Michael laugh.

My heart tugs at his memory, God how I wished to have him here like that again.

“You know what it reminds me of?” I say and he hums signaling for me to continue as he keeps chewing on his burger. “This song from Keane, ‘Somewhere only we know’”

“I don’t remember it” He says with his mouth full and I scrunch my nose in disgust.

“Mick, don’t be a pig. Swallow before talking.” He laughs and opens his mouth even more in an exaggerated gesture.

“Blah Blah Blah”

“Oh you’re disgusting.” I throw him a napkin that he catches in the air.

He laughs again before swallowing and talking, “You love me either way.”

“Sadly.” I look at him with an amused smile before picking up my phone and playing the song that I was talking about in a low volume, letting it play as background music.

“Oh!” He perks his head up once he recognizes the tune “I know this song, I walked across an empty land…”

He starts singing the words of the song quietly and I nod at him.

“I know you do, it’s a great song.”

We finish our food and I stay quiet, enjoying the moment and taking everything in. Mick signs the song almost in a whisper as I swing slowly side to side to the rhythm of the melody.

“Oh It’s a sad song” He whines when the ‘Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?’ part comes up. “Why did you put that on? Now I will feel sad.”

“Don’t be a child,” I pushed his shoulder with mine. “It’s a beautiful song.”

“It may be beautiful but I’m quite sure that when I die you are going to come here, and this is the song that you are going to play and cry your eyes out.” I look at him with my eyes open wide.

“What do you mean when you die? What makes you think that you are going to die first? Why did you kill youself already?”

“It’s just a fact” He shrugs his shoulders, folding one leg to hug it. “Men die younger than women, it’s a known truth, there’s even a scientific study about it” He explains as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.

“Well, I refuse to accept it. I don’t like it. It’s not going to be like that”

“So what? I have to be the one that’s left alive? Nah-ah.” He shakes his head. “Besides, you are strong, you are going to be just fine without me. I can picture it already, an old and wrinkled 90 year old Y/N, three WDC on her belt, white hair walking around in a cane with your grandchildren playing around you. You will be like the queen.” He jokes with a half smile on his face but I can’t follow the joke, too caught up in the statement that he just made.

“Mick, I would be nothing without you.” The words come out before I can stop them, but I don’t care. It's the truth. His smile falters as he locks eyes with me. “I mean it Liebling, I wouldn’t know how to go on without you.”

He dry swallows before looking at the waters to avoid my eyes.

“You will be just fine Y/N '' He speaks in a low volume after a minute of silence “it may hurt for a while but with time you will be able to get on your feet and go on. Women are stronger than men, just look at my mom.” He looks back at me “If it was the other way around, I don’t believe that my dad would be strong enough to continue after my mom’s loss. And it’s even worse for me, if I lose you, I lose everything.”

I gulp suddenly understanding where the whole thing of him dying first comes from and my mind blanks as words leave my brain. All of a sudden the moment feels too intimate and the atmosphere too fragile as he opens up next to me.

“I’m not as strong as you think Wiver, I actually consider me kind of a coward of a man.” He raises his hand when I open my mouth to stop me from interrupting him. “When someone that I love is on the line, or needs my help, I freeze. I’m unable to defend what I believe in, I can’t speak up. Sometimes, when everything is too much, I sit and cry my eyes out. Do you seriously believe that I would be able to go on without you? I prefer to be dead than face that situation.”

I feel my heart on my throat as his words set in. “Liebling, don’t say that.” I grab his face carefully and turn it, making him look at me. “You’re human. What you described, those feelings, fears, sadness, that is what makes us humans, you are no less of a man for any of that.”

“Yeah, you say that but what happens when there’s a situation that needs me to react quickly, to stand up for what I believe? What happens when you need me? I freeze Y/N, I can’t help you and I can’t be trusted.”

“Okay that’s not true, you’ve been there every time that I needed you.”

“After, not in the moment. After you needed me, when the damage was done, that’s when I was there.”

I purse my lips, thinking of his words. “So what you are saying is that if our house catches on fire and I’m stuck on it, you will let me burn and when the fire is out, just then you’ll come to find me?”

“Oh God no, why is your mind so twisted?”

I shrug my shoulders with a small smile on my face.

“No, c’mon answer me. I need to know if I should start to invest in life insurance.”

He laughs softly as he shakes his head and locks his eyes on mine, his smile fading as he adopts a more serious tone.

“If it’s in my power, I will never let anything happen to you Y/N. If our house is on fire and you are in there I’ll run through the fire for you. Dang it, I’ll even go through literal hell if it was needed to save you.” Silence sets between us as I words escape my mind again. “I mean it Schatz, I would run through fire for you.”

As his words settle in I let myself get lost in his eyes. Eyes that showed too much, like open gates to his soul, to his heart, to his feelings. If you see them, if you truly see them, you will be able to see the vulnerability in them, the love, the truth, the sadness, the compassion in them.

I love Mick’s eyes, they are the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. If my eyes were sea and storm, his eyes were sunsky and clear waters. They were so pierceful that it felt as if he was looking past you and through your soul, as if he could see your truth without you even opening your mouth. But those weren’t judgy cold eyes, no. Those were comprehending, loving and warm eyes.

For a moment I let my eyes wander through his face before settling them in the river in front of us as I feel my heart hammering against my chest and my cheeks getting hotter.

“Well..” I say in a small voice, fidgeting with my fingers suddenly feeling nervous as his eyes stay fixated on me. ”there you go then. In the situations that really matter, you are not going to stay behind, cross hands. And that’s what matters. You may need to work in the most trivials ones but when you truly need to act, you will. The rest that you described are only human reactions, some people have them more than others but that doesn’t make you a coward of a man.”

He hums in response, not knowing what to answer either, not quite understanding the feeling that washes over him because of this small moment they shared. So instead he looks up at the sky and finds the sun rising and dying the sky in the most beautiful colours.

“Look at the sky” I follow his haze and I ‘wow’ in amazement of the beautiful scenery in front of us. Still, my eyes are drawn back to him and unbelievably I find this frame even more beautiful than the sky.

His face was decorated by the dawn colours, marking his factions in such a beautiful way, big shining eyes taking in the moment with wonder, his messy hair shining in gold tones and dancing with the wind. The scenery around him being the cherry on top, armonazing and completing the whole thing.

My mouth fell open as I admired him.

He looked marvelous.

I take my phone without him noticing and I snap a picture to frame the moment.

“It’s beautiful.” He says amazed.

“It truly is.” I whisper back, my eyes glued on my phone, admiring the picture that I just took.

…

“Y/N, what time is it?”

“6:30”

“Damn it, our fly.”

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