junipercreeps

[junipercreeps]

🔖Day 12 - On Our Own.

In my room, it was slowly getting dark. The displays of my phone and laptop were the only sources of light.

"It's difficult to talk openly. Can you accept that for now?" my father said as I typed the word Samhain into my browser's search bar on my laptop.

"What your father is trying to say, June... we didn't keep things from you out of malice. There are good reasons for everything. What's important right now is that you find your place. Make choices freely. Learn. We'll see you no later than Samhain, and then we can talk."

I looked at the image search results. Among Halloween pumpkins, monster costumes, and sexy witch outfits, there were stone circles. Campfires. The traditional side of the Celtic festival.

Tears slowly dried on my cheeks. Silent tears shed because the disappointment of my parents not telling me anything for the past nineteen years hurt me deeply. And now, they expected me to understand. To understand that Oxford was now a place where I was meant to learn not just for my studies but for my heritage.

"You didn't mention anything in your letter. Why didn't you warn me? I knew nothing, Mum." I said, looking down at my hands. "You weren't here. None of you were here! They just took us and tied us up. They knew intimate things."

My father sighed and mumbled something I couldn't understand. Of course, my vulnerability bothered him. He had always been rational; emotions unsettled and annoyed him.

"I know, June. I know. Silly dramatic underpinnings. Sometimes it's necessary. Don't let it unsettle you."

"Unsettle?" I asked in disbelief. It was all so frustrating. Didn't they understand how I felt?

"How did your parents tell you back then?" I wanted to know. To have a comparison. Alaric and the others seemed to have grown up with their magic. They had many years to adapt to one another. Many of them had known each other since their childhood through the Kin circle.

And me? I was excluded. Kept secret. I could have had friends. I wouldn't have been so alone in the past few years.

"I always knew. Your father, however, was just like you."

"Really?" I asked and almost wanted to ask if it had overwhelmed him too.

"Yes, June. And as you can see, it didn't harm me. Quite the opposite."

A brief murmur that I didn't understand. Then my father said, "We have to go. You can do this. You're our daughter; you can do anything."

I remembered the day I learned to swim. When my father just let go of me, and I flailed wildly with my arms, submerged in panic. I screamed for him, for the firm grip that had always given me security. But he let me struggle in the water, encouraged me, until his hands finally had to grab me.

I had never entered a pool where I couldn't touch the bottom again. I had never swum again.

"I'm not like you. You should have made more effort and been there for me." I said.

"June, we-"

But I hung up.

It was the first time I had talked back. That had never happened before. I was tired of the secrets. We were a family, and my understanding of it wasn't to walk into an open knife.

I closed my laptop and looked at my phone. Hoping my mother would call, but minutes passed with no contact.

So, I made a decision and messaged Alaric.

Are you awake?

He replied within seconds: It's not even 8 PM. Of course, I'm awake.

Can I come over?

I'm not at Sinister House yet. Shall we meet at Linacre College? I'm nearby.

Okay, I'll head there right away.

The campus felt alive. Music, laughter, and conversations emanated from open windows. My parents' answers still occupied my thoughts. I had planned to tell them about my visions, about Nolan. I wanted to know what awaited me. What did it mean to have magic in my blood?

My thoughts accompanied me to the entrance of Linacre College. As lively as the campus centre was, it felt lonely up here near the Cherwell River. I saw a few joggers from time to time, but otherwise, I waited alone on the stone steps for the remaining minutes before I heard Alaric's footsteps.

"Sorry, have you been waiting long?" he asked as he approached.

I shook my head.

"Is everything okay?" Alaric asked and came closer. Instead of touching me without permission, I reached for his hand.

"Thank you for giving me answers. For not excluding me," I said.

He was silent but lightly squeezed my hand, and then Alaric hugged me.

Being hugged was an indescribable feeling. The warmth and resistance of the body. I closed my eyes and rested my face on his shoulder.

"Did you talk to your parents?" he asked after a while, and I mumbled, "Yes, but they only had excuses."

I briefly recounted how the phone call went, and as we broke the hug and slowly walked toward Sinister House, I also told him about my encounter with Nolan.

"Interesting," Alaric said thoughtfully. I glanced at him from the side.

"Have you experienced something like this before?" I asked, and he nodded. "Occasionally. But my visions often show the future. It must be different for you. Why would Nolan be in danger?"

I didn't know.

But I seemed to know nothing at all.

Arriving at Sinister House, we were luckily not met by Corbin or Ophelia. Instead, we went up to Alaric's apartment and sat on his unmade bed.

Our conversation went on for a long time. So long that I eventually realized I needed to get back to my dorm.

"Thank you for talking with me," I said and stood up. "Thank you for trusting me. It means a lot to me."

He hesitated.

"You mean a lot to me, even though we've just met."

I opened my mouth. His two bedside lamps were on, casting their warm light on him and me.

There was tension in the air. A tension I hadn't known before, but one where you knew what it meant.

"I..." I began my sentence but didn't know how to phrase it. "You?" Alaric whispered. He had come closer. We looked at each other for a while. Our hands touched.

"I don't know much about these things either, Alaric," I finally said. We intertwined our fingers. His ring lightly pressed against my knuckles. "About what things, June?" he asked and kissed the back of my hand. My hairline, and then he lightly lifted my chin.

"These things." was my response.

And then I kissed him.

What I didn't see was that on his bedside table, where his phone lay, the screen lit up. A message was waiting to be read by Alaric until the early hours:

Nolan is out. We're on our own.

[junipercreeps]

🔖 Day 11 - Beyond Recognition

As the next morning's lectures began, my thoughts were still with Audrey and Samuin. She had explained to us that over the centuries, our bloodlines had thinned. That the magic within our families had weakened and sometimes was no longer even visible, only felt among ourselves.

And she was right. I could feel Alaric beside me. I sensed the others around us, in a way different from how I perceived humans. Thinking back, I had always noticed this with my parents, that I wanted to be near them, finding it hard to be separated from them.

Last night, I had learned so much. Samuin's history made sense to me. The positions of families in society, our intermarriages to strengthen bloodlines, so that the magic could regain its strength. She had also explained the goals of the other circles in the UK and that we had until Samhain to decide whether we truly wanted to belong to Samuin. There, we would participate in a ritual that would bind our souls together, and this oath would be binding. Forever.

I still didn't know what a magical oath entailed, but it sounded more important than anything I had ever decided.

I listened to my first lecture, but as the professor took us through the history of psychology and explained how we had moved from chained patients to psychotherapy, my mind continued to wander. Questions piled up in my head, and without answers, the big picture remained elusive.

I felt like I was running out of time, that I needed more knowledge.

I looked at my hands. My encounter with the Mother of the Night was something special, at least according to Audrey. She was something of a leader in Oxford for Samuin, the daughter of one of the heads of Samuin's leading families.

There were three leading families: Hawthorne, Blyton, and Blake. Ophelia was a Blake but belonged to a different circle because she had opposed part of her family. Together with her parents, she was in Beltane. I thought about her words and her gaze. She had looked at me as if she were disappointed, not angry, just disappointed.

At the end, my only question for Audrey was where the visions came from and why we had them almost simultaneously. She called it a phenomenon of convergence. She said, when different families came together, something happened in our minds. Magic showed us something from the past, usually the part from which we originated. Many of the most powerful mages saw the Jaga Tree, a place where many witches were tortured and hanged during the darkest times of witch history. Some novices only had hazy dreams, barely worth mentioning, a sign that their blood had thinned so much that it would take many decades for them to practice magic. And then there were the few of us who saw the Mother of the Night, a vision that spoke for our bloodlines, a sign that the magic was growing stronger in our family. Audrey had asked me in meticulous detail about the feelings I had, the hands, the runes, the voice, the language – everything. Reporting my vision was like reliving it. Surrounded by the children of the largest circle in Britain, the magic in my blood awakened. And I liked that feeling; it was changing me.

The first day flew by. I noticed the students around me packing up, and when I realized that I had not written anything, I consoled myself by thinking that perhaps it wasn't so important on the first day.

When I entered the Dining Hall in the early evening, it was much busier than during the orientation days. However, there was a significant difference – now I recognized a face or two among the people eating their daily meals. At the table where I preferred to sit for my meals, Nolan Delvaux was sitting, bored, chewing on a piece of broccoli. I sat across from him, and he looked at me, surprised, lowering his fork.

"Hi," he said, pushing his glasses up on his nose. Nolan was unassuming, much like me, with brown hair, brown eyes, and dark-framed glasses. He looked tired and sceptical.

"Hey. How was your first day?" I asked, pouring oats and fruit into my Greek yogurt.

Nolan didn't reply immediately but looked around and then said hesitantly, "Okay, so far. And yours? What are you studying?"

"Thanks, everything's great. I'm studying psychology. How about you?"

"Financial economics," he replied. I nodded and put on an interested expression, simply out of politeness. "Don't take it personally, but why do you even talk to me? Did Alaric put you up to this?"

This question surprised me. We ate in the same cafeteria, knew each other from Samuin, had been kidnapped and humiliated in the same way. And he asked me why I initiated conversation when I saw him?

I furrowed my brow and looked at him sincerely. "I just wanted to make small talk, now that we know each other."

"We don't know each other. I don't even know your name."

"June, Nolan. I'm June Grayson."

He said nothing, and I was proud that I held his gaze. He shook his head and stuffed two broccoli florets into his mouth. It looked as though he would want to get up and leave at any moment, so I used the opportunity to ask, "Why do you think Alaric sent me to you?"

"Because I saw you. Yesterday at the meeting but also afterward. And you came from his dorm yesterday morning. He's known for sending out his little birds when he wants information."

It happened automatically, and I didn't like it, but I turned red. A mistake because Nolan made a sound as if he had been proven right.

"I'm nobody's little bird. I saw you sitting here and wanted to talk to you without any ulterior motives."

And with that, I relieved him of my presence, stood up, took my tray, and walked away.

Outside, it had started to rain, and I hurried to make my way back to my dorm. My mind was already with my parents, and I wondered how to ask them the questions that weighed on my mind. Just then, someone behind me called my name.

Nolan jogged towards me, wiping his glasses on his shirt before he spoke. "I'm sorry for being so terribly unfriendly, June. It's nothing personal."

"Okay," I said, but I sensed there was more to it.

"The Fraternity has... surprised me. I wasn't really supposed to join. I can't say I particularly enjoy being under observation."

What was I supposed to say? Just a few days ago, I didn't even know that magic or circles existed. I wasn't even sure anymore who my family was. But this wasn't about me right now, so I stayed silent.

"Shall we start over?" he asked, slightly unsure. I nodded. "Hi, I'm June Grayson," I repeated and extended my hand to him. He took it.

"And I'm Nolan Delv—"

The moment our hands touched, the world disappeared.

Nolan was no longer Nolan. But somehow, he was. His body was in a sack, securely tied up. I started shaking because his face was pointed toward the sky. His mouth was wide open, so wide that the skin at the corners of his mouth had torn.

He wasn't wearing his glasses. His eyes were bloodshot, and the bright brown reflected birds circling in the sky.

The worst was his expression, a mixture of pain and terror. I pulled my hand away abruptly.

And there stood Nolan.

The normal Nolan, not the one who had been distorted beyond recognition a second ago. He looked at me and then at his hand. What had he seen? Had we seen the same thing?

"I can never go back," he whispered.

"What? Did you...? I..." I stuttered but was interrupted by him. "I have to go."

"Nolan?"

But he left me standing there.

[junipercreeps]

🔖 Day 10 - Can't Go Home oopsie, I forgot to post on tumblr yesterday :}

"Day 10 and now comes an artwork that anticipates my story. You will remember Chapter 2 and Nolan Delvaux. This is him.

And the next chapter answers the question of why he can't go home"

[junipercreeps]

🔖 Day Nine - The Catch

I was never aware of how distant I was from my parents until now. I sat cross-legged in front of my phone, staring at the screen. Something was holding me back from dialling my mother's number. How could I bring up the topic that we belonged to a secret witch coven? How did you even ask such a question?

I rubbed my eyes and set my phone aside. Tomorrow, lectures would begin, and my greatest dream of becoming a psychologist and writing expert opinions for courts would gradually come closer. That meant I had to stay focused.

The day flew by, and as I walked back to the dormitory after dinner, I saw Corbin and Alaric waiting for me in front of my dorm building.

"There she is!" Corbin exclaimed as if he hadn't simply ignored me last night. As if we were old friends.

Alaric just looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and asked, "What's up? Another kidnapping planned?"

Corbin laughed exaggeratedly but then replied in his faux-charming tone, "Not today, my dear. We wanted to personally pick you up and invite you to a gathering. You don't have any plans, do you?"

I shook my head and simply said. "Just going to bed early. My classes start at nine o'clock tomorrow morning."

"Very diligent. So, we'll see you at ten o'clock then? We'll meet at the Trinity College Dining Hall."

I glanced at Alaric and nodded slowly. "Okay. I'll be there."

"Perfect, see you later," Corbin said before heading inside. But Alaric remained where he was, gazing at me with his light blue eyes, openly appraising me.

Corbin went ahead, but Alaric stayed where he was. Looked at me with his bright blue eyes, eyed me unabashedly. My boring outfit consisting of a brown wool dress and black wool tights with matching black boots.

"You look very pretty. But I could also get used to seeing you in my sweater more often."

I stood there with my cheeks turning red. Did he mean what I thought he meant?

With wobbly knees, I walked back to my room. I spent an hour choosing an outfit that was somehow more exciting than what I had been wearing in recent days. But when I thought of Audrey or Ophelia, I realized I couldn't compete. So, I decided to stick with the clothes I had worn for dinner. Perhaps I could buy some new things with my new credit card in the coming days.

It was already dark when I walked to Trinity College. The Dining Hall was located on the outer edge of the college—a long building without windows on the outside.

"Right on time. I like that." Corbin said as he stepped out of the shadows of a tree and approached me. I checked my wristwatch; it was five minutes to ten.

"Where are the others?" I asked, and Corbin shrugged. "Alaric should be here soon. The rest is probably already at the meeting point."

"I thought this was our meeting point," I replied.

He grinned; I could see that much in the light of the streetlamp. "Only for you. It's not often that someone is personally visited by the Mother of the Night."

I wondered what that meant. Had he lured me here specifically to ask me questions about my vision before the meeting started? "Who is the Mother of the Night, anyway?"

Corbin approached, unceremoniously taking hold of one of my hair strands and answering softly, "She is the primordial mother of witches—the woman who conceived children all over the world so that we could multiply, so that magic could spread."

I furrowed my brow and took a step back, allowing my hair to slip from his fingers. He seemed both surprised and amused, probably not used to rejection.

"Audrey will explain everything to you today. She's excited to meet you," he added. I refrained from commenting on that. Almost simultaneously, we heard footsteps, and Corbin took another step back from me. When Alaric arrived, it seemed as though his friend had never been to close to me.

"Well, you two, what are you doing here alone in the dark?" Alaric joked, and Corbin replied, "Waiting for you and composing poems about your silky hair and sparkling eyes."

Thankfully, it was dark. I blushed instantly.

We walked silently side by side, with Corbin leading by about a step, guiding us in the direction from which we had come after the initiation ritual. But nothing in the darkness seemed familiar to me.

Behind an old library building that had once been called the "Redshire Library," we turned into a courtyard. There was a hidden entrance next to a wall, marked with a symbol that Corbin touched, causing it to glow brightly. The wall revealed a stone staircase that we descended one by one. About halfway down, I heard voices. Some were laughing, and it sounded like the cafeteria where I had breakfast.

Full of life.

When we reached the bottom, I immediately recognized the vaulted cellar. I hadn't remembered the way out after the experience, but this place had etched itself into my memories.

It was a circular room with three descending flights of stairs. The centre, where we had sat back to back, was now empty. Except for five candles casting their warm light on the runes that had been carved into the stone long ago.

Corbin went straight to his sister and the friends she was talking to. Alaric stayed next to me and began to explain:

"The two students to the left of Audrey are named Rachel and Adina. They study law with Audrey and are deeply rooted in Samuin." And so, I heard all the names and family stories until Alaric got to the novices. One of them, whom I recognized as Nolan, happened to be looking in our direction. Alaric noticed this too.

"His family isn't particularly highly regarded. They've been trying to establish themselves for years. His father, however, is making bad deals, and his mother numbs her worries with medication, which has nearly destroyed her magic. Nolan got in only through the dissolution of his trust fund. His father hopes that Nolan will restore the Delvaux family to its former glory."

"Why do you have to buy your way into the coven?" I asked. "If our blood is magical, shouldn't we have the right to join a coven at any time?"

Alaric scrutinized me; I only noticed it when he didn't respond and I glanced at him.

"That's what other covens say too. But without money, you can't sustain any system, not even a witch coven," he finally replied.

"Hmm." I said and looked at Audrey Hawthorne, who was now descending the stairs to take her place in the centre, raising her arms.

None of those present wore black robes today. For the first time, I could see all their faces.

Audrey looked like a goddess as she made the flames of the candles shoot upward with her fingers and declared the gathering open. This was only the second time in my life that I had felt magic, and my body responded, feeling drawn to it. I looked at the other novices and saw that some of them felt the same way.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Alaric whispered, and I nodded.

Audrey's speech, the history of the coven, and the magic—it all captivated me, like a net catching a butterfly.

[junipercreeps]

🔖 Day Eight - Dark Days

When I woke up, I initially didn't know why I was staring directly at a sparkling river. After a few seconds, I realized what had happened last night.

The painkiller had eventually made me so tired that I must have fallen asleep in the middle of my conversation with Alaric. I felt his warmth behind me – not overly close, but still noticeably nearby.

Slowly, I turned around. He had rolled up his blanket and placed it between us, a small barrier of modesty. That touched me for a moment. However, in the next, I wondered if he was doing it to be respectful or if he didn't want to get too close to my body to avoid creating a false impression.

He had comforted me after I had processed the initial shock of the coven and the fact that we were descended from witches. The idea that someone in my family should possess magic seemed absurd. But Alaric showed me. He placed his hands on mine, and I saw all the things that had been hidden from me for nearly two decades.

How he grew up and felt that he was different. The same feeling, I had experienced when I was his age. He explained that during puberty, our magic and our body's hormones fought each other – humans against witchcraft. And he also told me that people subconsciously sensed it. They avoided us, even though there was no logical explanation for them. The natural instinct of humans had been trained for many centuries to see witches as a threat, that magic was not intended by nature.

And nobody in my family had seen fit to tell me. When I cried myself to sleep at night because my friends conspired against me, when my teacher, who always supported me, suddenly no longer wanted to see me, and didn't give me any of her homemade oatmeal cookies.

My parents remained silent.

And I fell asleep with a single question on my lips and woke up this morning:

Why?

Why did they leave me in the dark?

Alaric was still asleep. I watched him lying there with one arm over his head and the other bent on his stomach.

His shirt had shifted slightly upward, and the piece of skin between his waistband and the hem of his shirt already made me turn my head away. I had never touched another person intimately. Sam had tried with me, but we never went beyond innocent kisses or holding hands – how could we when his body sensed that we didn't belong together?

I looked at the Cherwell River. A few ducks swam peacefully from left to right, dipping their heads underwater every few inches. As quietly as I could, I freed myself from the second blanket that Alaric had left for me and gently placed it over his legs. Then, I stood up carefully and walked to the window to observe the mist and the nature in Oxford.

Somewhere among the small turrets and rooftops was my dormitory. My phone was there. I couldn't wait to call my parents and ask them why they hadn't told me the truth about our family heritage.

"June?"

Alaric had awakened and stretched.

"Hi, sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

But he shook his head. "You didn't. I didn't even notice that you got up. How are you?"

I shrugged and replied, "I don't know. And you?"

He smiled. "I'm fine. I'm glad you came to me yesterday."

I furrowed my brow. "Yes? Why's that?"

Ophelia's words came back to me.

Alarics new toy?

I wasn't anyone's toy.

"Because I wanted to get to know you. I mean, you caught Corbin and Audrey making out in the library and didn't tell anyone. Nowadays, it's rare to find people who can keep a secret. Human beings who are loyal."

"I'm apparently not a human being." I said with a bitter tone in my voice.

He approached me, stood beside me, and we gazed into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity.

"Are they really siblings?" I asked at some point, and he nodded. It all seemed so surreal to me.

"Maybe they should see a therapist," I commented, and Alaric laughed.

"I don't find it funny. Corbin has a girlfriend, right? That's not fair," I said, looking at Alaric again. I wanted to know what he thought. How he reacted.

"Ophelia and Corbin have known each other for a long time. Her family is very influential, but they don't belong to us. Corbin is trying to win her over for us, but she's kind of special. I think that's the only reason he got together with her. He has always truly loved Audrey. And she loved him."

I furrowed my brow and briefly thought about what Alaric had told me. Ophelia's words also echoed in my mind. She said something about how Samuin wasn't the only one with answers.

"Does she belong to another coven?" I asked.

He nodded. "Samuin is fighting for something. Our families want to strengthen and support each other. Ophelia's coven is trying to keep us down. They're afraid we're superior to them."

"Sounds strange," I remarked, and Alaric said, "I know. But the more you get to know everyone, the faster everything falls into place."

So, we stood in silence next to each other. I thought about Corbin and Audrey. I had never seen two people so into each other.

"Can I borrow your clothes? I'd like to go back to the dormitory, and I'm sure I'd attract some attention in a bathrobe and sneakers."

I looked like a child wearing oversized clothes from my siblings, but it was better than going back in a bathrobe and sneakers.

"Sure. I'll pick them up later if you like."

I thought for a moment but then nodded. After putting on my shoes and looking at each other with Alaric, I took a deep breath and walked toward him.

I hugged him. Surprise was clearly visible on his face, but he joined in the hug. He hugged me lightly, and I thanked him softly—for the answers, for the pill, for making me feel less alone.

"Anytime, June."

"See you later," I said and left his apartment.

Outside, it was just as cold as the night before. I held my crumpled bathrobe close to me and walked from Sinister House back toward the dormitory. I encountered a few joggers and an elderly couple with two greyhounds.

Shortly after re-entering the official campus, I spotted Ophelia. She sat opposite the entrance of my dormitory on a bench. Next to her was a bag from the bakery and a cup of coffee in her hand. Although I only saw the back of her head, I recognized the trench coat and those beautiful, shiny black hair.

"Hey. Are you waiting for me?"

She turned around and looked surprised at my clothes. The bathrobe in my arms.

"Had a wild night?" she asked, ignoring my words.

"No. And you?"

She sighed in response and took a sip from her cup. I wasn't sure if I should sit down or rather if I wanted to sit down.

"What did you want to tell me yesterday before your friend interrupted us?" I asked.

She was pointing to the empty seat beside her, but I remained standing.

She raised one of her perfect black eyebrows and mumbled, "Okay, then." She took another sip and seemed to contemplate how to start.

"In essence, it's quite simple, June. There are covens that want to promote coexistence with humans, and there are covens working to restore a long-forgotten order."

"Good and evil, you mean?" I asked, and she responded with a muffled, "Hmm mmm."

Did that mean Samuin were the bad ones?

"None of you visited me when I needed it." I stated plainly.

Nowadays, it's rare to find people who can keep a secret. Human beings who are loyal.

Alaric had said that. And now, I was supposed to betray him not twenty minutes later?

"What do you mean? We can't just visit you and recruit you for our coven when you're still under the influence of your parents. They've been part of Samuin for decades. Your whole family."

Ophelia sounded partly amused, partly confused. She couldn't know that I had only found out a few hours ago who I was.

Who my family was.

"If you want to inspire someone for your cause, you shouldn't show up only after others have done the groundwork." I said.

She furrowed her brow. "Groundwork? You mean because Alaric told you a few stories? I'm already on the edge just by talking to you, June. You have no idea what's been going on here for centuries. You don't know who Samuin is, do you? Who Beltane is? Who I am?"

She had stood up and studied me.

"Did you see anything after the initiation? The Jaga tree perhaps?" she asked softly. Her dark eyes sparkled curiously, just like Alaric's had last night.

But I shook my head and said, "I saw the Mother of the Night."

We looked at each other. I observed her struggling with herself.

"If I would ask you to come with me, to a place where we can talk undisturbed, would you say yes?"

Alaric's face appeared in my mind. Corbin and Audrey. How they loved each other – that unconditional love. Alaric had almost asked me if I was okay with it during the ritual.

The answer shattered one part of me and awakened another.

Samuin would be my home.

"No. I'll stay right here." I replied to Ophelia, and after a moment of disappointment that showed on her face, she said quietly:

"These are dark days for Beltane. Dark days for humanity."

[junipercreeps]

🔖 Day seven - Attacked

When I stumbled out of my room, three of the four adjacent doors were open. Curious glances were fixed on me.

"Did you just scream?" I put on an apologetic look. "Yeah, sorry. A spider."

The girl who had seen me with Alaric earlier was the only one who didn't roll her eyes. She raised a skeptical eyebrow and watched me as I hurried down the hallway, wearing only my bathrobe. In my panic, I had grabbed my running shoes.

The cold of the night hit me like a brick wall the moment I stepped outside, but I didn't have time to put on something more appropriate. After that strange hallucination, I needed to find out where Alaric lived. He owed me answers.

"Hey, are you okay?" I turned around in surprise. In the doorway of my dorm stood the girl who lived opposite me. It was only now that I noticed how pretty she was, with her chestnut hair and the freckles on her nose. "I, um, yeah. Yeah, thanks. Did you know the guy who was just at my place?" She nodded slowly. "Sure, Alaric Blyton. He's been a Molecular Biology tutor since last term." "Do you also know where I can find him?" She scrutinized me. I must have looked terrible, and the shock from the strange visions was still fresh. "He lives off-campus in one of those apartment complexes. I think it's the Sinister House." I nodded. "Thanks," I said and left my neighbor standing in front of our small historic dormitory.

The Sinister House was modern and impressive from the outside. I had jogged past it this afternoon. Some rooms even had a direct view of the green areas surrounding Oxford and the Cherwell River.

When I arrived in front of the building, I was freezing. My muscles were desperately trying to signal that my bathrobe was not suitable for this night. Where should I look for him? Just walk down every corridor, hoping to find him? Were there names on the doors like in our dormitory?

In the lobby, the soft night lights were on. It was dead quiet, except for my loud breathing due to the rush. Just before I took the stairs to the first floor, I heard footsteps behind me.

"Can I help you?" In front of me stood a woman in a beautiful charcoal trench coat. Her dark hair shone in the dim light of the lobby. She immediately reminded me of a modern version of Snow White. Only now did I realize how foolish I must have looked with my bathrobe, my hastily put on running shoes, and my wild, uncombed hair loosely tied in a braid at the nape of my neck.

"I'm looking for Alaric," I said softly. "That doesn't surprise me," replied the stranger and briefly looked past me as if to make sure no one else was there. "What's your name?" she asked, took off her pretty gloves, and approached me. Her perfume wafted towards me, a gentle scent of lemons and flowers enveloping me. "June. Please... I need to find Alaric." "No. You think you have to find him, but not only Samuin can explain what's going on with you." She whispered urgently, and a look of surprise appeared on my face. "There's a lot to explain, June. But not here. Not now. Go back to -" "Ophelia!" We both jumped at the same time. On the stairs behind us stood Audrey's brother, Corbin. He looked ridiculously handsome in his pajama pants and an open pajama shirt. His caramel-blond hair immediately reminded me of Audrey's, like the back of her head, which I had observed for several minutes.

Ophelia pointed at me. "Alaric's new toy?" She was a completely different person now. He laughed. She looked deep into my eyes for a brief moment and shook her head almost imperceptibly, as if she wanted to tell me that our conversation had never taken place. "Sweetie, you need to go to the sixth floor. The room at the end of the hallway. 721," Corbin said and walked past me without acknowledging me. "I missed you. Can you stop studying until late at night already? We haven't seen each other all summer." he said to Ophelia. They hugged each other warmly, and I replied almost silently, "Okay, thanks." Then I walked away towards the stairs.

It wasn't until the second floor, after I had cursed the stairs and my frozen limbs, that I noticed the elevator and gratefully stepped inside.

The sixth floor was dark until I entered it and triggered a motion sensor with its gentle night light that now illuminated the hallway.

711

713

715

717

719

721

The doors to the rooms with even numbers were opposite each other. The hallways were quite long considering the number of rooms, but from the outside, I had already noticed how spacious all the balconies were. These apartments must be much more expensive than my private room in the middle of Oxford's colleges.

I hesitated and looked down the hallway again before knocking softly. It didn't take ten seconds before I heard movement in the room. Alaric opened the door in dark blue silk pyjama pants and looked down at me as if he had known I would show up. Still he asked:

"What’s wrong? Do you want to come in?" I nodded, and he stepped aside. "What did you see?" he asked as he closed the door behind us. "What did you gave me?" I wanted to know before I answered any more questions from him or anyone else from Samuin. "Tramadol." "But...I..." I stammered and rubbed my eyes. "June, what did you see? A forest? The stone circle? Did you see the Tree of Jaga?" He seemed excited, almost curious, like a child wanting to know what it would get for Christmas. I hugged myself because I was still cold. "I saw a woman. An old woman. Her hands were...mine and..." I lacked the words. Alaric opened his mouth to say something and then shook his head. "Audrey won't like this at all." he whispered and went to his bed. His apartment was huge, at least four times the size of my private dorm room. He had a small kitchenette and a king-size bed, from which he had just taken a sweater and tossed it to me. A moment later, he opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of jogging pants that would be much too big for me. Still, he threw them to me. "Put this on. You're freezing." That was true, but I still said, "Not necessary." "You want answers?" I nodded slowly. "Good. Then put it on!" he said firmly. He had the decency to turn away and look out of the floor-to-ceiling windows in his apartment. Oxford by night was beautiful. The view from the Sinister House was beautiful. "Okay, done," I said softly, holding my bathrobe tightly around me. Alaric's clothes were warm and smelled of detergent and a gentle perfume. My running shoes were placed next to the counter in his small kitchen. His carpet felt soft and homely under my bare feet. The sweater had obviously been worn, and I almost closed my eyes because it felt like the closest thing to a hug. I hadn't felt so much physical closeness in months.

"You saw the Mother of the Night," Alaric said as he sat down in the middle of his bed. My head was pounding, and fatigue kept overcoming me, but the warmth of the clothes didn't let me think any clearer. "You need to start from the beginning. I don't know anything," I said honestly, and he looked confused. "What do you mean? You don't know anything?" I looked at the bed. "May I sit down?" "Of course." So I sat down and stared at my hands, which were now back to being my own. "I don't know what all of this means. Your weird ritual. This hallucination. I know nothing. My parents just told me that I would be joining the same student society as they did back then." Alaric chuckled. Not out of amusement, but surprise. I could feel that. "Student society? June, we're a coven. This fraternity stuff is just a cover." I looked at him, puzzled. "Are you serious? You don't know who your family is? You've never wondered why you're a loner, having trouble making friends since puberty? Why people have been avoiding you?" I had no answer to that because I had, of course, asked myself all these questions, but I wasn't aware that there was a logical answer to them. Except maybe that I was just strange. "Wow, your parents must be real assholes not to tell their daughter that she belongs to one of the largest witch covens in the UK." And this statement felt like an attack. An attack on the trust relationship between me and my parents. A relationship that apparently didn't exist.

[junipercreeps]

🔖 Day six (Artwork Day) - What Is Wrong? In the last chapter you read how June saw a woman in her bathroom mirror and then saw that woman's hands as her own.

In tomorrow's chapter you will learn that June is going to find Alaric to ask him what is going on with her and Samuin. And he'll ask her when she opens the door, "What's wrong, June?"

[junipercreeps]

I sat cross-legged in front of the mirror of my wide-open wardrobe. My bathrobe hung loosely over my shoulders, and in front of me lay the empty packaging of a headache tablet I had borrowed from the room next door. The girl had eyed me sceptically and asked which dorm I came from – when I told her I had moved in right next to her, she seemed quite surprised.

June, the Invisible.

That's what Grace used to call me. Grace, the one the student mentioned who was supposed to ask me those horribly intimate questions. My former best friend. The person I used to confide in about everything until I turned seventeen.

Grace Gilbert.

I examined my reflection in the half-darkness. My knees peeked out from under the bathrobe; they were scratched, and bruises were slowly forming on my skin. Exactly where I had been bumped or lay on the hard stone.

My jogging clothes lay in a small pile next to me. I looked down at them wearily and felt an overwhelming urge to cry. This powerlessness. The way they just kidnapped me and asked me these questions. Why did I always trade one horror for another? When would it finally end?

I was cold, but I wasn't trembling. I stuffed my dirty clothes into a laundry bag and sat back on my bed. I wouldn't have gotten much further over the next few minutes if it hadn't been for a soft knock on my door.

Out of reflex, I slipped my arms into my bathrobe and tied it tightly around my naked body. I looked sceptically at the door, but when it knocked again, I finally got up and stopped just short of the door handle. My hand was only a few millimetres away. My heart was pounding like crazy, and that was after I had successfully calmed myself down over the past few hours.

"Who's there?" I asked, pressing my ear close to the door, curious about who would come to my room so late at night. After all, no one here knew me.

"Alaric."

The name meant nothing to me.

"I don't know you," I said a bit louder.

"You don't know anyone. I'm here to check on you. Audrey sent me."

My heart sank into my stomach. Samuin. Couldn't they just leave me alone for tonight? I put my cold hand on the door handle and opened my bedroom door just a crack.

Standing outside my door was a young man, probably almost six feet tall, with black hair. He looked like a typical heartthrob to me. Someone I had often seen at polo tournaments.

He examined me closely. From my hairline down to my toes, but he didn't enter my room without permission, although he took a cursory glance into the darkness from where I had just come.

"You look terrible," he said quietly.

"You're the guy from the ritual," I replied, ignoring his comment. He was the one who had asked me the three questions. I would never forget that voice. "We don't discuss Samuin publicly."

"Ah, I see," I replied.

He chuckled and reached into his pocket. In the hand he extended to me, there was a single tablet, still in its small blister pack.

"For the headache," he said when I hesitated to take the medication. This time, I scrutinized him. His dark hair and eyelashes, his bright blue eyes, and the expensive clothing he wore. Even though he appeared casual, I recognized every brand.

On one of his fingers, I noticed the underside of a silver ring. I placed my hand on his and, instead of taking the tablet, I held his hand firmly and turned it over with my palm.

With his hand now on top, I looked directly at the signet ring he was wearing. A rune and an ornate B – almost like an old coat of arms.

"Blyton," he said, unasked, and I nodded as I slowly withdrew my fingers from beneath his, now inspecting the tablet.

"Tramadol?" I asked in disbelief.

"Probably works better than your aspirin, right?"

Of course, he knew that too. I didn't give him an answer but was immediately distracted when a door across from my room opened; a girl gently pushed another girl out, both grinning. They winked at us while they shared a goodnight kiss.

As I waited for the girls to finish, Alaric continued to scrutinize me. "Can I come in?"

My attention returned to him.

"No," I said immediately and gripped the door handle tightly.

"Too bad. We'll see each other in the coming days, June. Good night."

And just like that, Alaric left. I glanced at the girls one last time, who were still busy, and then quickly closed my door.

My heart was pounding, along with the pain in my head. What had my parents gotten me into here?

When I took the tablet to the bathroom, I briefly considered not taking it. But I really wanted to sleep and knew the headache probably wouldn't let me rest. So, I removed it from the blister pack, placed it on my tongue, and took a sip of water straight from the tap.

I hadn't turned on the light in the bathroom, and when I looked up again, directly into the mirror above my sink, I nearly screamed in shock.

In front of me wasn't my completely drained reflection; instead, I saw the outlines of an old woman with a contorted face.

June.

I stumbled backward and practically slammed my hands on the light switch. My mirror was empty; there was no woman to be seen. When I carefully stepped back in front of my sink, I was only me.

My wide brown eyes, which were now wide in fear. My deep, dark eye bags and my still-wet hair from my shower earlier.

June.

I flinched at the sound of my name, my hands tingling, and I looked down at them. But those weren't my hands. They were the hands of an old woman, scarred and wrinkled. Tattooed with runes and symbols from another time. The skin was dry and cracked. There was blood on her fingers.

And then I couldn't hold it back any longer. I screamed.

[junipercreeps]

🔖 Chapter Three - I Want To Believe You It took an eternity for the siblings to finish their encounter. When I finally mustered the courage to emerge from between the shelves and leave the library, three students stood not far from the entrance. All three looked at me first and then at each other. I wasn't sure why, but I had a feeling that two of the three were the siblings.

I bought some snacks and drinks in a small shop off campus. There were three meals a day and also some self-service canteens, but I liked the feeling of not necessarily having to leave my room just because I was hungry.

My involuntary observations in the Radcliffe Library were still occupying me when it was already dark. Outside my room door, I heard voices - students who had already made friends and were spending time together in the evenings, presumably going to an off-campus bar to toast a good time together here at Oxford.

I wasn't particularly sociable. People didn't usually like me because I never had much to say and was just a boring person.

But I have to admit that I felt lonely after today. I wanted to tell someone about my experience, tell them about my mother's letter.

The next day, I made a plan for what I wanted to explore before the lectures started in two days. It was clear to me that I didn't want to go to any of the libraries until all the buildings were officially filled with a multitude of students.

So, I walked over to the Dining Hall and found a place where I could have breakfast. The selection of food was incredible, but I simply chose scrambled eggs and some orange juice. It reminded me of my Aunt Abby and made me feel a little less alone.

Actually, I was not alone. Dozens of students were milling around me, chatting. About their journey, about their rooms. About their grades and their future studies.

I listened and was somehow a part of them. As I got up to continue looking around the campus, someone even said, "See you!" to me and I waved a friendly goodbye to the group.

After breakfast, I felt much better than yesterday, even though it looked like rain, and the dense fog that had settled between the buildings overnight didn't seem to want to dissipate.

I spent most of the morning trying to memorize where my first lectures would be held tomorrow. The anticipation of being able to focus on my studies soon distracted me from my uncertainty about the student fraternity.

It was almost afternoon when I fell onto my bed, feeling slightly exhausted, and wondered if my parents might call me today. However, after several attempts, I received only a message from my father saying they would get in touch as soon as they landed back in London.

I sighed and turned to my side. I could look out of one of the two windows and watched the leaves of the oak tree in front of my dorm gently swaying in the wind.

At home I had been running a lot when loneliness overtook me. Nature always made me feel like I wasn't really alone after all. The rustling of leaves, the cracking of branches, and the smell of earth and plants would heal me. So, I decided to throw on my jogging clothes and go for a run.

At first, I considered taking the path through Trinity College Gardens, but then I decided to run a longer route through the New Marston Meadows.

It turned out to be the right decision.

Even though it started thundering about halfway through my run, the exercise and the view did me so much good that my concerns about Samuin and the strange siblings practically vanished.

On the way back, dark clouds gathered in the sky, and I took a break on a wooden bench. I couldn't help but smile as I read the small silver plaque. By chance, I was sitting on the Tolkien Bench, overlooking the narrow Cherwell River. The slightly rippled surface of the water was gradually being broken by heavy raindrops. That was my sign that it was time to jog back to the dormitory.

I had only taken about twenty steps when I felt the hairs on my neck stand on end. It was as if someone was watching me.

The same feeling I had when I had spotted the three students outside the Radcliffe Library—or when they had spotted me.

I turned around and looked back at the bench. But the path was empty except for an elderly lady or gentleman with a small terrier in the distance. I couldn't really make out if it was him or her anymore. I glanced over at the trees, but there was no one there either. So, I jogged on slowly until about a minute later, a strange noise came from the bushes by the river.

"Hello?" I called out and stopped.

At first, there was nothing to hear except for the intensifying rain. But then there were footsteps, and when I turned around, there were two hooded figures, and one of them softly said, "Hello, June," before the second one held a cloth that smelled sweetly to my mouth, and I subsequently lost consciousness.

When I woke up, the first thing I felt was a pounding pain behind my eyes. I had never had a migraine in my life, but this is what I imagined it to be like. My mouth was dry, my back hurt, and I groaned in distress.

It was difficult to orient myself because everything around me was dark, and it took a moment for me to realize that my eyes were covered. I was sitting on a cold, hard floor, on my knees, with my hands tied behind my back. I could feel the warmth of other bodies right next to me and behind me.

One of them was speaking, but I was still so disoriented that I couldn't understand their words. Or rather, their words just didn't make sense to me. I pondered what my options were and how to best survive after being kidnapped, but my thoughts and my logic were failing me.

All I felt was raw panic and that nagging pain behind my eyes.

"Please," a female voice whispered to my right. "My parents have money."

After a short silence, there was deafening laughter, and I froze because that laughter sounded very familiar.

"Dear, all our parents have money," said the girl from the library yesterday, in her arrogant tone.

A voice that was unfamiliar to me said boredly, "Shall we begin? I have plans later."

And then, with a sudden jerk that made me flinch, the blindfold was ripped off my head.

I was sitting on a dark stone floor with deep grooves, and it took me a while to recognize runes and symbols that undoubtedly had some meaning, but whose origin I was not yet familiar with.

"Some of you may already know what's going to happen. For those who haven't figured it out yet: Welcome to Samuin."

I blinked and tried to shift my weight to alleviate the pain in my knees. Samuin. So, this was the prestigious student association my mother had praised so highly? Someone behind me laughed bitterly.

"Well, great. An association that has to abduct us with such a ridiculous initiation ritual. Did you get this from your favourite movie or something?"

There was little light in the room, but slowly I realized that I was crouching in the middle of a vault with at least six others. We were surrounded by students in black robes. Each of them had their hoods up and was gazing in our direction.

In the stone walls, there were small niches at regular intervals where candles, as the only source of light, broke through the shadows of the vault.

"Nolan Delvaux," someone said to the person standing in the middle on one of the three steps to the left of me. The vault was constructed in such a way that we had to look up at the people who were talking. Around us were three larger ascending steps where you could sit comfortably.

I recognized by the voice that the person in the middle must be the student from the library. She nodded and repeated the name. "Nolan Delvaux. You're quite bold for someone whose father had to dip into their trust fund to get you in here."

"What nonsense are you talking about?" Nolan snapped irritably. However, the woman beneath the robe now turned her attention to the rest of us and pompously spread her arms wide.

"Each of you will now answer three questions. If we like your answers, you can consider yourselves novices of Samuin. Until you have proven your loyalty to us. You don't need to know more for today."

I frowned and watched as seven hooded figures descended the three sets of stairs, each one positioning themselves in front of one of us. While they helped us to our feet, they didn't untie the bonds that still held our hands behind our backs.

"Can you stand?" the man beneath the hood in front of me asked.

"Looks like it," I replied, realizing how annoyed I sounded, which was exactly how I felt. I was annoyed by this childish abduction game, which, in reality, was neither childish nor appropriate.

"Couldn't you come up with something better to initiate your novices?" I asked, and the man in front of me tilted his head slightly—whether he was amused or considering throwing me out again, I couldn't tell.

My mother's words came to mind, and I imagined how disappointed she would be if I were to tell her that Samuin didn't want me because I couldn't even pass an initiation rite.

Murmurs went up next to me. The girl who earlier wanted to offer money for her release whimpered in anguish, but the student in front of her only said. "A simple question, Jocelyn. Answer it or you can fuck off and explain to your parents why you are unworthy."

"Focus on me," said the student in front of me. His voice was demanding, but also engaging. I would have liked to see his face at that moment.

"Ready for your first question?"

"That was actually the second," I smart-mouthed, earning a soft laugh.

"What was it like for you when your best friend grabbed your boyfriend and let him take her virginity at your aunt's holiday home."

I suddenly felt cold.

He couldn't have known that. But he did know.

My eyes were wide, otherwise I controlled my facial expressions as best I could.

"How could it have been? It was a bit of an end of the world for a seventeen year old," I said quietly, trying very desperately to suppress the memories of that day. The surprised faces of Grace and Sam. The months after, when they became a couple and I faded further and further into the background. Physically and mentally.

"Did you watch Audrey and Corbin at the Radcliffe Library yesterday?"

I blushed. That was the name of the student who let her brother take her, so. Audrey.

"I'll rephrase the question," the student said, taking a half step closer. "Did you enjoy it when you saw Audrey and Corbin-" I interrupted him. "I'm answering your first question," I said quietly. "Yes. I watched them do it, unfortunately. Which I would describe as more of an involuntary listening."

My counterpart took a full step towards me this time, reached around my body, touched my bonds and came very close with his hood to my ear.

"What would you do to finally get the recognition from your parents that you deserve? To finally be seen?"

I looked ahead to the place where Audrey was standing. It looked like she was looking in my direction, I couldn't tell exactly through her wide hood. Around me, the shackles were already being untied by several other novices. The warmth of his hands sent a shiver down my spine and his breath, his voice. I closed my eyes and said softly but clearly, "Anything."

And wished that I could have believed myself at that moment.

[junipercreeps]

🔖 Chapter Two - A Dangerous Gamble

My mother's letter weighed on my mind the next morning. Due to my privileged situation, I had my own bathroom, where I now stood, gazing at my blurred reflection in the mirror. Blurred because the steam had laid a veil over its surface.

A veil that also shrouded my state of mind.

"You will hear from them."

I couldn't reach my mother by phone, so I sat for a while, wrapped in the fluffy fabric of my bathrobe on my bed, staring at my laptop's screen.

My email program was open. It might seem strange to others, but the easiest way to reach my parents was through their company's inbox. We had been communicating this way for several years already.

However, once I had formulated my questions, doubts began to overwhelm me. Why had she given me a letter? Why not an email? Why not a message on my phone? Why not a personal conversation?

The last question was easy to answer. My parents were on a different continent, working. Neither of them had bothered to reschedule their meetings.

But why a letter?

I closed the laptop with my composed but unsent email to my mother. As I dressed in a simple, comfortable outfit—a short cotton skirt and a fine gray sweater—I wondered if it might be better not to mention a word about the student fraternity.

Perhaps she had handed me this handwritten letter to avoid leaving electronic evidence?

This time, I examined myself in the larger mirror mounted on the inside of my wardrobe. The past few years had turned me into a smaller version of my mother. The long blonde hair, the straight nose. Even the color of my brown eyes. I pulled my hair into a simple ponytail and tucked my phone into the waistband of my skirt.

I wanted to explore the campus. Just two more days until classes started, and I would definitely need to make use of these orientation days, even if anxiety still clung to me.

Outside, I was greeted by a mild autumn day. It had rained the night before, and for a moment, I closed my eyes, letting the clarity of the air soothe me. Until the voices of other students entered my consciousness. Clusters of people strolled past me as if I didn't exist, something I was used to as an unassuming person. And something that often suited me quite well.

There were advantages to not standing out.

Oxford looked like something straight out of a storybook. The perfectly manicured grass, the many paths between the buildings. The scent of nature and pastries or coffee as you passed by the numerous little stands. Students looking for members for their clubs and organizations called out over the heads of the crowd. Despite the hustle and bustle, I felt immediately at ease.

Although I was actually already aware that no secret fraternity would appear in the form of a stall to my left or right, I still scanned every nook and cranny for the word Samuin.

I had googled the word.

It meant Samhain. The direct translation would be union. But basically, it was the term for a festival where the souls of the dead are consecrated. One of four major Celtic festivals.

Why would you pick a name like that for a fraternity?

After I sat down on a wall headily with a croissant and a coffee away from the hustle and bustle, I searched my memories for signs and mentions of my parents in the past. Anything that could help me recognise members of Samuin.

But there wasn't much to be found. The incident with the judge was the first thing that came to my mind. But apart from that, there were only ever small mentions at family dinners or summer parties.

"Acquaintances from Oxford."

"Former president of our fraternity."

I chewed more slowly.

The former president... who was she again?

Lydia Hawthorne!

I praised my good memory, remembering back to the beach house party when I was sixteen and secluded with my braces, playing with the cat in the pool house while the other families' kids had fun in the pool.

Lydia Hawthorne. Her name came to mind, her face did not.

I sighed and emptied my coffee in frustration.

There were only two things left on my list for today's errands. Visit one of the libraries that held literature for my degree course and find somewhere to buy some groceries for the week.

The beauty of Oxford was that it was a world all its own. With countless buildings, shops and a multitude of places for me to explore. As lively as the campus was, the libraries I passed were quiet. Only the Bodleian Library seemed to be well visited and marvelled at. Definitely a visit that would be on my agenda in the near future.

Before finding the entrance to the Radcliffe Science Library, I wandered around following various signs several times. Finally, I gave in and used Google Maps because the buildings looked so similar that I had gotten myself thoroughly lost.

After half an hour, I entered the quiet, cool library. A kind lady smiled at me and waved me over.

"Welcome to Oxford! What degree programme?" the lady asked.

"Psychology," I replied shyly, and she handed me a map for reference.

"If you need specific literature later, there's an online catalog you can check. But here, you can see where you can study and the different rooms available," she explained.

I nodded and glanced at the map briefly.

"The Radcliffe Science Library is one of the largest Bodleian Libraries here in Oxford. You'll have a lot to discover here," she added.

I thanked her and found myself amidst floors that couldn't be more different from each other. Dark wood paneling mixed with modern white walls and glass elements. Rooms like the Lankester Room, with round ceiling lamps closely spaced, illuminating the many desks where nobody was currently sitting.

I trudged up to the upper floors and got lost somewhere in the back row of the seventh floor, where a book titled "Moral Dilemmas: Philosophical and Psychological Issues in the Development of Moral Reasoning" caught my attention. I only looked up from the pages when I heard voices approaching.

"Don't test my patience."

"Was that a command, My Lady?"

I furrowed my brow. I recognized a male and a female voice. Her tone didn't sound particularly friendly, and I couldn't ignore the playful undertone in his words.

"Corbin, we overdid it last year. Your little plaything is already looking at me as if I'm her biggest competition."

"But you are her biggest competition."

She laughed, but it wasn't the kind of laughter that made you want to join in. It was the kind of laughter from a woman that sent shivers down your spine. I slowly rose and quietly returned the book to the shelf, trying to make as little noise as possible.

"I have no competition. You belong to me and will always belong to me."

"Is that so?" the man whispered, and then, just as I was about to make my presence known, I heard them kiss.

"Not here," she said quietly but unconvincingly.

"Right here, sis. Right here."

I froze and a strange feeling spread through my stomach.

Who gave themselves such weird nicknames? I was gripped by some kind of invisible hand that stopped me from leaving.

"No one will come to the science library on the first day of orientation," the male voice said, and I heard the hasty rustle of clothes.

"They'll catch us eventually. And then our parents will kill us."

This couldn't be true. I looked around. Looking for a way to escape, but there was no other door behind me and unfortunately the shelves always ended flush with the wall.

So, I waited. Hiding on the back shelves, being as quiet as I could. And not even twenty-four hours on campus I had witnessed, along with the books around me, a dangerous game between brother and sister, not knowing what else this information would mean for me.

[junipercreeps]

📖 Honorbound Summary:

June is part of a fraternity, an entry she effortlessly secured thank to her affluent parents. However, on the day of her initiation, as she swears an oath of unwavering loyalty to the fraternity, she realizes that she has committed herself to something that will severely test her moral compass.

What follows is a month of losing control, passion, and sorrow. Four weeks during which June either loses herself or, perhaps, undergoes a profound transformation.

🔖 Chapter One - Anxiety

All I ever wanted was to be enough for someone. A person to be proud of and to mention at family gatherings to show others that there was such a thing as a storybook success story after all. Someone whose name you mentioned when you wanted to set an impeccable example of education and hard work.

The truth was that at every family party I was only mentioned when they needed someone to shake their head at.

"June should try harder if she wants to go to Oxford."

"What was June thinking, just dropping out of ballet?"

"But she's got the scores, why doesn't she make something of it? Just send her to America."

"Has June put on weight? She should go on one of those shake diets."

"Take her on more holidays in the sun. She looks sickly."

June is me.

Junica Joan Langford. And I'm unfortunately my parents' only child, which is why I couldn't even hide behind an established sister or a successful brother. Instead, I learned that nothing was ever good enough for my parents. Whether it was reciting a poem flawlessly in front of Father Christmas, who was actually Uncle Andrew, on Christmas morning, or getting top marks in a subject my parents didn't care about, like creative writing.

It.

Was.

Not.

Enough.

When I applied for Oxford at the beginning of the year, I firmly assumed that my efforts of the last few years had not been enough either. But when the acceptance came in spring, I was happier than ever.

In my worst imaginings, I had already seen myself with my bags packed in a college in America. Far away from my family, so that my father wouldn't be embarrassed in front of friends and colleagues that I hadn't made it to Oxford in the end.

But it had been enough. It had been enough in the end. And now I was in. Literally.

Right at that moment, I stood in my small single room, which would now be my new home for at least three years. My two brown leather suitcases, the ones my mother had brought back for me from a shop in Paris over the summer, were placed right beside my desk. They were waiting to unpack a multitude of mundane outfits that needed to find their place in the double-door closet next to the room's entrance.

But I wasn't ready to unpack my things just yet. For the moment, I just wanted to stand here and look down at the park in front of my dormitory, where so many families were gathered. They were laughing, they were crying, and they were embracing each other. I suspected they were wishing each other success and happiness, parents hiding their tears so as not to unsettle their children, bursting with pride.

And I stood up here in my room.

Alone.

Neither my father nor my mother had taken the day off to accompany me to campus today. No one was here to accompany me into my new life. A driver had dropped me and my luggage off a little over an hour ago. He handed me the keys to my room along with a pristine white envelope bearing my name.

For the first time since I stood here in front of one of my two casement windows, I looked at that very envelope. I had placed it on the desk across from me, right next to the keys.

The driver hadn't told me who the letter was from, but he didn't need to. My mother's elegant handwriting was something I could recognize anywhere.

It wasn't easy to tear myself away from the view in the park below my window. I longed to be embraced too, and the more I watched, the more it felt like I was also receiving that familial affection. But I also wanted to know why my mother had handed me a letter.

Our relationship with each other was good. At least as good as it could be with a mother who expressed her love through silent gifts that would simply appear somewhere in my room.

I gathered my courage and snapped out of my daze. With a few steps, I reached my desk and looked down at the envelope. At the first touch of the paper, everything reminded me of my parents. It was smooth, cold, white - just like them.

My name almost seemed out of place on the otherwise flawless surface. It didn't display my full name but rather my nickname: June.

In the envelope, I could feel that there wasn't just a letter but also a plastic card. Did they give me a credit card?

As I turned the letter around and opened it, there was indeed a plain black credit card inside with my name and the silver logo of my parents' company. I set it aside with a furrowed brow and unfolded the letter.

June,

Your hard work has been rewarded. You are finally at Oxford, carrying on the tradition of our family by studying at the place where your father and I once met.

I frowned. My mother had never mentioned in her own words how or where she had met my father. Everyone knew. Me too, of course, but it was a fact I had picked up at one of the family gatherings. Reading it now in person from my mother felt almost intimate.

I want to confide something in you today, something your father and I have been waiting for many years. You are not only in Oxford but also a part of a fraternity that accompanied your father and me through many years of challenging studies. Brothers and sisters who have remained loyal to us even after we graduated. The family you need to be as successful in life as we are.

As you will be, June.

Let this bond pave your future path and show you that a solid house cannot stand on just one pillar. We hope that you will make many friends. That you will prove yourself worthy to be part of a community. A part of Samuin.

You will hear from them soon.

Coniuncti silentio.

Your loving parents.

Irritated, I turned the letter over again, just to be sure that there wasn't something written somewhere. But that was all.

I was supposed to join a fraternity? I couldn't imagine that with the best will in the world. My parents had often mentioned acquaintances and friends. Also, one of the judges who had ruled in my parents' favour in a dispute.

"An acquaintance from our Oxford fraternity," they had said at the time. And this was the fraternity I was supposed to join? Oxford was supposed to be a place that was about me. A place where I could step out of my parents' shadows.

I dropped onto my bed and twisted the black credit card in my fingers.

Coniuncti silentio.

What kind of motto was that for a student fraternity? United in silence. I looked through the bars of my window. The leaves of the oak tree were slowly losing their green colour and turning all sorts of autumn hues. My heart fluttered at the thought that I had to make forced friends with a bunch of other young adults because we had accidentally ended up in an elite fraternity through our parents.

I had been to a boarding school in the south of England until I was thirteen and then later to a public school in Westminster. The boarding school had been a wonderful place, but the public school had almost destroyed me from within. Children could be very cruel.

And I had hoped that Oxford would heal me. However, I could imagine that the brothers and sisters would mostly be from the private school faction.

My hands had turned ice-cold and were trembling. There was nothing left of the initial joy of finally being in Oxford.

Cold sweat formed on my neck.

"You will hear from them."

I didn't want to hear from them. I wanted to focus on my studies. Learn. Live.

Anxiety filled my mind and, almost simultaneously, my body.

A fear that paralyzed me for a while. Until the sunlight slowly disappeared behind the horizon, leaving me in darkness with my anxiety.

[junipercreeps]

This is the first time I've taken part in an October event like this and I'm really excited about it!

First of all, thank you to @angstober for this wonderful prompt list. It was so much fun to plan everything and here you can see my first contribution!

The cover of my story, which has the first prompt as its name: Honorbound.

I'll be posting chapters to this story throughout October (the chapters will be based on the prompts, of course), sometimes I'll just post artwork, but it will fit in perfectly with the story.

german below:

Das ist das erste Mal, dass ich bei so einem Oktober-Event mitmache und ich bin dementsprechend wirklich aufgeregt!

Ersteinmal danke an @angstober für diese wundervolle Promptliste. Es hat so Spaß gemacht alles zu planen und hier seht ihr dann auch direkt meinen ersten Beitrag!

Das Cover zu meiner Geschichte, die als namen den ersten prompt trägt: Honorbound.

Ich poste den gesamten Oktober Kapitel zu dieser Geschichte (die Kapitel richten sich natürlich nach dem prompts), manchmal folgt auch einfach nur ein Artwork, das sich allerdings perfekt in die Geschichte einfügen wird.