junkyard-jorts - Tumblr blog

[junkyard-jorts]

if i was mac mcdonald and trying desperately to get over the 20-something year old situationship i have with my roommate and then i find out my online boyfriend who’s been giving me prostate orgasms was my roommate the entire time, i wouldve leapt across that bar and strangled dennis with my bare fucking hands

[junkyard-jorts]

My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.

[junkyard-jorts]

Katy O'Brian in Love Lies Bleeding (2024)

[junkyard-jorts]

in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years

[junkyard-jorts]

enough reclaiming slurs, I think in 2023 we should reclaim nascar. they banned the confederate flag on all properties & their stance on lgbtq+ isn’t just performative bc in 2013 they fined a driver 10k for using a homophobic slur, condemned indiana in a statement for an anti lgbt law, and partnered w carolina’s lgbt+ chamber of conference in 2022. nascar was founded by anti-cop moonshiners/bootleggers who drove suped-up fords to out-run the police. #yaaascar

[junkyard-jorts]

[junkyard-jorts]

i don’t think mordecai and rigby were ever gay for each other but i do think many times rigby would be like dude if i was a girl would you want to fuck me and mordecai is like dude that’s weird. no. and rigby is all bent out of shape about it and in the middle of the night when they’re both trying to sleep he’s like why wouldn’t you fuck me if i was a girl. i’m cute right? or am i ugly and that’s why i’m single… and mordecai is like fine whatever i’d fuck girl you. stop bringing it up now. & the next day rigby is like fuck off muscle man i’m not ugly mordecai said he’d fuck girl me & then a portal opens to an alternate dimension where they’re genderbent like that adventure time episode and the voice of god is like mordecai you must make good on your word. fuck girl rigby.

[junkyard-jorts]

when spike does bad things he is a fictional character subjected to the whims of joss whedon and when he does good things he’s spike my friend spike who’s real and my friend

[junkyard-jorts]

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

[junkyard-jorts]

thinking about her (three sword style Nami that Oda drew for One Piece magazine vol. 13)

I have not been able to stop thinking about her ever since I saw this design. I took some liberties with the outfit, giving her more of a sports bra and biker shorts and a sleeve (I am not sure if it is a sleeve or haki, I am running with it)

[junkyard-jorts]

Werner: truly, the Sherlock Holmes of film directors.

[junkyard-jorts]

“hey bruh lemme stuff this toilet with ps1′s. im gone kill the tumblr game with this one”

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[junkyard-jorts]

"was that necessary ? youre part of the richest crew on the seas.

-you too, and you still have a ton of debts :p

-your gf is at the head of the most wealthy island of grandline you could-

- no :p

[junkyard-jorts]

[junkyard-jorts]

Remember, if you haven't felt the first edible in 5-10 minutes eat two or three more

[junkyard-jorts]

little german boy revisits the cave of blüntsmoken! Happy 4/20 ;)