just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain - Tumblr blog

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

Favorite thing about renaissance faires is that they have fuck all to to with the renaissance. This thang is not about historical anything this is about dressing up like a fairy and watching a joust

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

I have made a grave mistake and visited a walkable city.

However the city I live in is not walkable.

I am so sad

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

Why must brain fight the most RANDOM THINGS

SERIOUSLY

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

no "other/see results" option bc JUST CHOOSE ONE

YOU TOO, GENDER-CONFORMERS,

EVERYONE!

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

I hate turning into a human squeaky toy

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

Sometimes I forget how online I am.

Or my friends are just not online at all.

I tried to reference “fATHER- when can I leave to be on My ~~ oWn~~~ ✨✨💅” and my friends looked at me like I had to heads.

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

Very tired… eyes barely open.. should sleep

But must. Google. Forbidden knowledge

Is it illegal to fish with corn

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

I am deliberately refusing to google how long food lasts on the freezer. That is between me and the coolant unit of this refrigerator

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

Wow thank you.

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

I genuinely adore when my boss sends me incomprehensible messages and then immediately follows it up with “kitty on the keyboard. Anyway -“

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

Oh he absolutely noticed, however he can’t say much about it because

He can’t trust the word of a pet

It’s the prior owner

It’s not exactly illegal.

It’s not encouraged but it’s not exactly illegal. In fact, some owners lie and say they beat their pets to cover up underground fighting rings because those fall under prosecution for gambling which is a way worse crime 🤷‍♀️

Hello, sir Trainer

I am a Pet and I have a question. A friend of my Owner is helping me write it down.

My questions is what is the appropriate way to show gratitude? My Miss is very good for me and is patient and mercuful and I want to thank for that but I am not sure how. Just saying without action feels insincere, but I don't know how would a Pet even prove it.

I thought of doing chores, but they're already my duty and I don't want to make it look like it was something I decided to do, like its not what I am for.

I also tried offering myself up for beating, because my previous Owner enjoyed it, but Miss said she won't hurt me for fun.

I am out of ideas but I really want to show how thankful I am.

Się Trainer, please help.

Please have a nice day, I'm sorry to be a bother

-Juli

Mason is honestly so happy to see all these nice, well behaved pets in his inbox. It's so sweet and makes him think fondly of his own boys safe at home waiting for him to be done with work.

"Hey Juli! Its so nice to hear you're happy and love your owner. That's the way it should be, but it's always nice to hear, and good to point out to all those stupid pet libs out there." He mumbles the last part under his breath.

"Anyway, many owners love to just see their pets happy and content in their home. Perhaps your Miss would like it if you cuddled up with her when he's just sitting around the house? If the kitchen is safe for you to be in, maybe bringing her water or drinks she likes. One of my boys, Rudy will make drawings for people he likes."

"And of course, you can always tell her. I'm just your Miss would appreciate just hearing it from you, too."

"Keeping being a good boy, Juli"

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

see this is why i am like this.

I did all of this but juggle

One thing about me is my absolutely delusional sense of time. I’ve got an hour lunch break coming up and I want to:

- eat lunch

- walk to the bank and update some info and walk back

- update my DL

- answer a writing ask

- practice juggling.

Can I complete all of those things in an hour? I feel like I could.

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

One thing about me is my absolutely delusional sense of time. I’ve got an hour lunch break coming up and I want to:

- eat lunch

- walk to the bank and update some info and walk back

- update my DL

- answer a writing ask

- practice juggling.

Can I complete all of those things in an hour? I feel like I could.

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

Does anyone even know how to play Mancala? 

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

“Anxious and stressed. Anxious and stressed. Anxious and stressed.”

Just some midnight chanting

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

A snapshot of what it’s like to be the gen z coworker

Gen X coworker: “omg there’s all this work we’re helping other departments with I don’t know how I’m going to finish everything.”

Me: “don’t! :D”

[just-a-raccoon-without-a-brain]

My beige flag is that I will drink my coffee out of the stirrer. It’s like a tiny straw. I always burn my mouth otherwise.