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He was hurting while I did nothing.
My own selfish pain enveloped my aching heart too much to bother trying to reach out towards his. Yet, I owed him so much of my happiness. Waking up next to him was my favorite part of the day. The other closest thing was going to bed with him later that same day. It's terrible yet oh so beautiful.
It's amazing how easily our lives meshed into one. I always tell him, I didn't know what was the perfect man for me until I met you. Then I get bombarded with kisses.
Lately though, I find myself drifting into a dull thread of thoughts that make me wish I was somewhere else. I'm tired. Not of him, of course. Just...everything.
School. It's beginning to feel so underwhelming yet overwhelming at the same time. It's suffocating. They say that happens when you're close to graduating.
Who's they?
I look around and look at people. I mean, really look at them. It's like we're all in this big sea of dreams and goals; everyone swimming to something that only leads them to deeper and darker water. Fuck, I should have learned to swim. I want to follow them, those that go out into the deep. Those who people quote once they have passed into whatever lies beyond death.
I wonder what it looks like.
Routine. Routine. Routine. Guess I should stop complaining and actually do something about it. But, oh, what? What? What?
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The Burn-Out
College. A place of many wonders and memories. Some people say it's the best time of your life.
Eff that!! I plan on living a few more years. What about then??
I want to be happy!
Recently, I've been feeling a bit burnt out. I can't paint. I can't write. I can't find it in me to be as creative as I used to be. All I find myself wondering is "shit, I got that paper to write. Oh gosh, when was that due again?"
Don't get me wrong. I love what my university has offered me these past three years, but dang, son. Where the heck did my artistic side go?
Oh yea, it's over there hyperventilating under all my silly philosophy books and statistics work.
Thankfully, I have marketing. That's where I get to poke at my creativity and get grade credit for it too.
What can I say. It's a love hate sorta deal.
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