just-ppd-things

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Gentle ones,

Haven't updated in awhile because I'm ok now. Got some therapy, got out of a very bad relationship, the kid started sleeping through the night, found out who my friends were.

Really, I'm ok.

I started this thing because I needed a source of humor for a disease that only every seemed to have condescending articles and not-helpful advice, where every other mental thing had memes to take the edge off.

I hope you guys get better soon. I hope someone else makes the memes for you, because it can't be me--it's not funny anymore.

I love you, goodnight.

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I know you’re tired bitch but keep fucking going

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My depression didn't start until I had a child, so I've never had a Depression Nap, the kind that lasts nineteen hours and people leave you alone.

I'm told they're not refreshing at all. I'm just saying is I'd like opportunity to find out firsthand.

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Nobody:

Me:

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I am not of the Jewish faith, so this is not for me, but I found it beautiful and light giving

It is told that in every generation there are times when hope threatens to leave this world. At such times, the Baal Shem Tov, the great Jewish mystic, would go into a secret place in the forest. There he would light a special fire and say a holy prayer speaking the long-forgotten most sacred name of God.The danger was averted and hope stayed alive.

In later times when disaster threatened, the Maggid of Mezritch, his disciple, would go to the same place in the forest and say, “Ribono Shel Olam, Master of the Universe, I do not know how to light the fire, but I can say the prayer.”

And again the danger was averted and hope stayed alive.

Still later, his disciple, Moshe Leib of Sasov, would go to the same place in the forest and say, “Ribono Shel Olam, Master of the Universe, I do not know how to light the fire or say the prayer, but I found my way to this  place, and that must be enough.” And it was. Hope stayed alive.

And later when Israel of Rizhyn needed intervention from heaven, he sat in his chair with his head in his hands and say, “Ribono Shel Olam, Master of the Universe, I no longer know how to light the fire, nor how to say the prayer, I can’t even find our way to that place, but I can tell the story and that must enough.” And it was. 

And it still is. As long as stories are told, hope stays in the world. - a Hasidic tale

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I feel seen

One of the many stupid feelings humans are capable of having is the private, repulsive rage of seeing someone getting support and sympathy for a problem no one helped you with when you were having it, either because you didn’t have anyone or because it never occurred to you that you could ask for help. Suddenly the world seems to split into two – the realm that contains people like them, the connected and loved – and the realm that contains you, the miserable and the alone, who must suffer in solitude. This is sufficiently horrible that you start grasping for reasons to make this reality acceptable, and a mentally available one is that it is superior to be in the miserable solitude realm, that the problem is one that should be solved with self sufficiency and dignity. That this other person is pathetic for being aided and loved when you were not. Scorn is more palatable than confronting the notion that you could have received aid (if you had made different choices or been luckier), that you desperately wish you could have been aided but were not. Scorn is more palatable than the howling hunger for things to have been different for you. So your mind chooses scorn.

It is also a bad place to be. Human existence is full of such traps.

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Physically:

Mentally:

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Check out that last one, my darlings.

Part 1 of Volume 3 of the Real Monsters is finally out!

I thank you for all your patience in waiting for new designs and I also appreciate all the suggestions for new monsters. ADHD was a tricky design to get right but I think I did it justice, in the education and stigma reducing aspects. I will work on the last half of this volume throughout the year.

Thank you so much for the support along the way! Prints | Clothing | Digital Files

Credit to Katie Mulally for being a wonderful editor and Chloe Joya [FabooGu] for her expert advice on ADHD.

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Isolation

How it feels:

How it actually is

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When your SO can't deal with your illness

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"That's just the baby blues, you'll get over it!"

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"It takes a village to raise a child!"

Me when I need a villager:

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First night alone with baby

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Ok girls

My therapist and I had an interesting discussion about how there's no humor for post partum depression.

My thoughts on this are that whenever someone says anything about PPD it good something like this:

1. It's a Real Condition that affects a shit ton of women

2. But we don't talk about it

3. We absolutely should because YoU dOnT kNoW hOw HaRd It Is

4. That's it. That's all of it. There is no actual talk that follows.

And you know what? That's utter bullshit. Every other mental thing gets not only talked about but its own memes, humor, and multifaceted Online Presence. PPD, if at all, gets incredibly sad stories about new moms who aren't getting help and aren't being treated and want to do something that makes them ashamed. Yeah, not conducive to the healing process, especially when this is one of the ones where having a group support system is highly important.

That stops now. Give me a bit of time to figure out how, but I'll not be allowing this lack of memes to continue.