just2bubbly

[just2bubbly]

pray for me to get an internship by end of this month 🙏🏻😭

[just2bubbly]

everyone quotes “i’m going to get my money, and i’m going to get my girl.”

but not the literal following sentence: “inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he’d promised her so long ago.”

like to me that’s the more romantic of the lines; the fact that kaz immediately checks himself and is like nah she’s not mine but i will liquidate all my assets to ensure she’s free.

[just2bubbly]

old enough to remember when smut was called ‘lemons’ but young enough that i had absolutely no business knowing that smut was called ‘lemons’ at the time 

[just2bubbly]

no time to write it though 😭

loving kaider is also accepting the fact they would be jealous if each other because they both posses qualities the other envies or shines in places the other is insecure about. this is more cinder to kai but kai grew up loved by the whole world. he is the people’s prince. literally. there are people who hate him obviously, like the people who called for his abdication, but they love him too much to do that. i’m sure the country got over the fact that he’s in love with a lunar quickly. they instead targeted their hatred towards cinder (MY QUEEN). cinder did not grow up in the spotlight and she had a very rough introduction into politics. people hated her before they knew she existed. what’s worse she’s a cyborg, a group of people that is generally unliked in most places. she can never be kai. i’m sure the lunars love her and the commonwealth is grateful for her defeating levana, but they’ll never adore her the way kai is adored. kai can speak eloquently, can handle his emotions, talk with other major leaders, good at etiquette, and is genuinely a good leader. he has a huge advantage over cinder because he was taught these things as a kid and just perfected them over the years. cinder was just thrown into this position. but it’s hard to remember that when people are trashing cinder online for not being like kai. they are around the same age too so why don’t they act the same! UGH. cinder will never ever ever reach kai’s level. ever. (hate to be this person but IF SHE WERE A MAN…). like it probably nags her at night. her boyfriend is perfect, according to society, and she’s rotten. her boyfriend is an excellent politician and she should just abdicate. her boyfriend shouldn’t be her boyfriend because she doesn’t actually loved him because she didn’t ‘hug him back’ at some event. or whatever. i’m sure they get through this, eventually, but don’t sit here and tell me that this doesn’t cause some resentment towards each other. being constantly compared to the love of your life is so mentally draining dude. they probably tune it out later but as hormonal teenagers stuck ruling countries??? they definitely fought over this. maybe almost broke up!

kai, on the other hand, envies her bluntness. i tell you, his whole life he’s had to put on a façade for the cameras and his people. he knows exactly how to get the country to love him and feels the need to keep doing so. they see right through him. they don’t know who the real kai is. the kai he shows them seems so genuine but it’s not him. only his close friends and family know him. cinder is unapologetically herself. sure people hate her for it, but you have to respect her authenticity. she’s a teenage cyborg queen and doesn’t let anyone forget. there aspects of the job where she has to fake her smiles and emotions, but she never lies. i don’t think kai lies either, he merely acts. i bet it becomes sort of an identity crisis later on. what if he really is the person smiling on the screen? is he really that pathetic? and he HATES being two faced. he wants to be like his girlfriend, showing his true colors all the time, but he just can’t afford that. growing up with all that love for a version of himself that isn’t really him isn’t easy to give up. the thought of his people not liking the true him and turning against him probably shakes him to the core. he’s used to the political enemies and ‘smart people’ (aka the ones calling for his abdication) hate. but his true people, the countrymen he swore to protect for the rest of his life, the little girls, the farmers, the homeless, the widows, the fathers, the little boys? seeing the hope in their eyes turn to disappointment has to be some form of torture. his fear of never being himself to the people he governs just grows and grows and grows. and he envies his girlfriend. and they fight.

she envies her boyfriend for being perfect. he envies his girlfriend for being flawed.

they make up eventually and go to THERAPY because they NEED IT but like it HAS to drive them crazy.

[just2bubbly]

this makes so much sense, and like they both have something that the other wants, and that's messed up in a cool way (only cool because I can write fanfics about it)

she envies her boyfriend for being perfect. he envies his girlfriend for being flawed. YOU HAVE GIVEN ME IDEAS 😭

loving kaider is also accepting the fact they would be jealous if each other because they both posses qualities the other envies or shines in places the other is insecure about. this is more cinder to kai but kai grew up loved by the whole world. he is the people’s prince. literally. there are people who hate him obviously, like the people who called for his abdication, but they love him too much to do that. i’m sure the country got over the fact that he’s in love with a lunar quickly. they instead targeted their hatred towards cinder (MY QUEEN). cinder did not grow up in the spotlight and she had a very rough introduction into politics. people hated her before they knew she existed. what’s worse she’s a cyborg, a group of people that is generally unliked in most places. she can never be kai. i’m sure the lunars love her and the commonwealth is grateful for her defeating levana, but they’ll never adore her the way kai is adored. kai can speak eloquently, can handle his emotions, talk with other major leaders, good at etiquette, and is genuinely a good leader. he has a huge advantage over cinder because he was taught these things as a kid and just perfected them over the years. cinder was just thrown into this position. but it’s hard to remember that when people are trashing cinder online for not being like kai. they are around the same age too so why don’t they act the same! UGH. cinder will never ever ever reach kai’s level. ever. (hate to be this person but IF SHE WERE A MAN…). like it probably nags her at night. her boyfriend is perfect, according to society, and she’s rotten. her boyfriend is an excellent politician and she should just abdicate. her boyfriend shouldn’t be her boyfriend because she doesn’t actually loved him because she didn’t ‘hug him back’ at some event. or whatever. i’m sure they get through this, eventually, but don’t sit here and tell me that this doesn’t cause some resentment towards each other. being constantly compared to the love of your life is so mentally draining dude. they probably tune it out later but as hormonal teenagers stuck ruling countries??? they definitely fought over this. maybe almost broke up!

kai, on the other hand, envies her bluntness. i tell you, his whole life he’s had to put on a façade for the cameras and his people. he knows exactly how to get the country to love him and feels the need to keep doing so. they see right through him. they don’t know who the real kai is. the kai he shows them seems so genuine but it’s not him. only his close friends and family know him. cinder is unapologetically herself. sure people hate her for it, but you have to respect her authenticity. she’s a teenage cyborg queen and doesn’t let anyone forget. there aspects of the job where she has to fake her smiles and emotions, but she never lies. i don’t think kai lies either, he merely acts. i bet it becomes sort of an identity crisis later on. what if he really is the person smiling on the screen? is he really that pathetic? and he HATES being two faced. he wants to be like his girlfriend, showing his true colors all the time, but he just can’t afford that. growing up with all that love for a version of himself that isn’t really him isn’t easy to give up. the thought of his people not liking the true him and turning against him probably shakes him to the core. he’s used to the political enemies and ‘smart people’ (aka the ones calling for his abdication) hate. but his true people, the countrymen he swore to protect for the rest of his life, the little girls, the farmers, the homeless, the widows, the fathers, the little boys? seeing the hope in their eyes turn to disappointment has to be some form of torture. his fear of never being himself to the people he governs just grows and grows and grows. and he envies his girlfriend. and they fight.

she envies her boyfriend for being perfect. he envies his girlfriend for being flawed.

they make up eventually and go to THERAPY because they NEED IT but like it HAS to drive them crazy.

[just2bubbly]

Hi

hello anon, how are you?

[just2bubbly]

i might sound like an asshole rn, but I just saw the image of Tyson, from the Percy Jackson live action, and ONE, I'm sorely disappoined with the CGI, and before anyone comes at me, this is Disney we're talking about, their whole buisness is CGI, they did him too dirty.

also, TWO, like this is not PJO specific, but I saw the new Harry Potter cast as well, and that was a disappointment too, like I get it, Hollywood wants to be inclusive, but this forced inclusivity is annoying, like Harry Potter and PJO, are like one of those books that have diverse characters, you don't have to force coloured casts on white characters.

I saw the Snape casting, and it was stupid, there's some vibe to got with sickly pale, oily haired man- and if you can't achieve it with your cast, then drop them, no matter how good they act. The cast isn't inclusive, it's just coloured people, and yea, that's a big win for the Black Community Representation, but this way they just shut down all representations of Latins, Middle Easterns, Asians and so much more.

Keep the casting looking at somewhat similar to what they're supposed to look like, and I love Leah, Aryan and Walker, and they have the right character, but it doesn't hit. It's like they're purposefully avoiding a white cast, especially Disney. The live action for HTTYD was spot on, and it was fun to watch characters the way I'd seen/imagined them growing up.

If you want to make show inclusive, make new shows inclusive - do not ruin old animations/books in the name of inclusity, specially one that's superficial and limits to one community only. Get disabled people, pride communties, people of colour, or just right asian representation, and then we'd call it actual inclusivity, but this is something they're doing to make themselved feel better.

[just2bubbly]

WHEN SIBLINGS ARE ESTRANGED BUT CANT SEEM TO RID THEMSELVES OF THE OTHER’S INFLUENCE BECAUSE THEYRE THE ONLY PERSON WHO WOULD UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY WENT THROUGH. WHEN THEY EACH THINK THE OTHER MUST HOLD THEM IN CONTEMPT BUT IN ACTUALITY WHAT SEPARATES THEM IS MILES UPON UNSPEAKABLE MILES OF GRIEF.

[just2bubbly]

Tony’s bots are an untapped angst potential — no wait just hear me out!

Yk how Tony’s always threatening to donate DUM-E and the rest of the bots to a college? What if, while Tony was in Afghanistan, Stane actually did just that?

Then, when Tony comes back to a botless lab, he finds out what Stane did and gets them back, but DUM-E is different, more… robotic, for lack of a better word. All the personality Tony knows and loves is gone. No more spontaneous fire extinguisher, no more motor oil smoothies, instead he follows instructions perfectly and not much else.

It freaks Tony out, and at first he blames the people at the college, and goes on a rampage to find out what they’ve done to his precious son. No one will admit to doing anything, and after a thorough diagnostic, nothing seems wrong in DUM-E’s hardware or programming.

Until one day DUM-E makes some minor mistake, and suddenly he’s cowering and pushing his arm up to Tony in affection. Tony, by now an expert in reading robot body language, recognizes this as fear and placation, desperation. Begging. And that’s when Tony puts two and two together.

See, DUM-E’s programming is sophisticated, so he made the connection between Tony’s threats and what happened when he was sent away, but not sophisticated enough to recognize that Tony wasn’t the one who gave him away, that Tony wanted him back, or that it wouldn’t happen again. He’s been trying to be the perfect bot in hopes that Tony would keep him around, and now that he’s screwed up all he has left is to beg.

Please, Tony hears in the bot’s beeps and whirrs, please not again. I’ll be good. Please give me another chance, just one more chance. I won’t mess up again, I promise I’ll be good, I promise I’ll be perfect, please-

Tony comforts his son, petting the bot and gently explaining some things. He’s the one promising now, promising that he’ll never give DUM-E away, no matter what. Promising that he never meant to be away for so long, that he’s sorry he wasn’t there to protect him from Obie.

In the end, the bot’s personality comes back slowly but surely. Of course, Tony helps him along with plenty of pats and kindness.

[just2bubbly]

Excited for this, as a reader and writer!!

tlc ship weeks 🤔

heeeyy gang, me and @kaiderforever have been organizing the (unofficial) tlc ship weeks for the past few years, and we’re wondering if you’d be interested in doing it again this year!

the fandom’s definitely gotten quieter post-lockdown, so we just wanted to check in and see what people think,, would you want us to keep it going? or maybe do a shortened version instead?

let us know in the polls + feel free to reblog to spread the word! ₊˚⊹☆

also if you vote yes let us know if you would prefer a short version, and we are open to theme suggestions if people have any ideas they wanna share !

[just2bubbly]

"I can't lose you again" is the trope of all time perhaps

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saw an elderly woman walking around with a tote bag whose design were the four AO3 fic category squares and she very excitedly asked if i was a reader or a writer bcs nobody else at the con had recognized it, and after telling her that i've been writing fic since fanfic.net, she solemnly nodded and explained that she'd been reading fic since "the days of personal websites" but that she only started writing fanfic when she was 47 and oh my god when i tell you that i genuinely teared up on the spot!!!!! like!!! HELL YEAH???? LITERALLY NEVER TOO OLD TO START WRITING. NEVER TOO OLD TO WRITE AND SHARE YOUR FIC.

her enthusiastic "i'm a very nice and bubbly person, i swear! but i love writing angst and major character death :)" nearly took me the fuck out.

icon. legend. diva. i wish her nothing but a kajillion million comments and kudos. i hope her fic updates crash AO3. i hope she knows i'm promoting her to my personal patron saint of AO3.

[just2bubbly]

this was so cute bwahaha

I saw your recent post!! Can you please write a lunar chronicles fanfic with the ship kaider (kai and cinder) for the prompt going to a carnival? You can change the prompt if you want, just a suggestion!! Thank you :)

I based this off of the carnival that came to my town every year so it might not be exactly what you had in mind, but I hope you like it! This was such a cute prompt

“Aren’t you hot?”

It was infuriating, Cinder thought, that Kai could still look perfect even when his smile dripped with self-satisfaction. It took a special kind of person to make smugness look attractive.

“Dying,” she replied, rolling her eyes, “but I’m trying to be inconspicuous.”

Kai’s smirk only widened as he tugged one of the strings on her hoodie— a navy blue only a few shades lighter than his black one, since Cress had insisted they’d look like a pair of assassins if they showed up to the carnival in matching black hoods. “I’d say it’s a good look for you,” he said, leaning in to kiss her forehead before pulling her hood over her hair.

“Really not my number one concern at the moment.”

“It’ll be fine,” Kai promised, taking her hand— gloved, since there was no way to know if anyone at the carnival was implanted with Garan’s device— in his. “Thorne says he’ll be on standby if we need a pickup.”

“I should hope so, seeing as this little adventure was his idea,” Cinder grumbled. 

Their visit to the American Republic was supposed to be purely a matter of state, formally introducing the new empress of the Eastern Commonwealth to the new president. But Thorne had insisted their “American experience” wouldn’t be complete without a visit to the small carnival that had popped up a few miles outside of Los Angeles, so here they were— facing down something vaguely like a very small version of the Eastern Commonwealth’s Peace Festival, only with more gaudy lights and stuffed animals. 

It was kind of exciting, actually. Not that Cinder was about to admit as much.

“Okay,” she sighed, squeezing Kai’s hand. Let’s do this.”

He nodded, opening the door of the hover, and they stepped into the stream of people making their way to the sprawl of stalls and rides sitting at the top of the hill. At first, Cinder’s eyes darted around relentlessly, running every single face through her recognition program, noting every possible exit. But when they reached the top without drawing so much as a second glance, she managed to relax. 

“What’s first?” Cinder asked. “Do we want to take a turn on that whirling monstrosity that looks one good gust of wind away from blowing over? Shall we try one of the grease-ridden attempts at food from that stall over there, or do you want to compete for who can win the most prizes?”

“You have a computer in your brain,” Kai scoffed— remembering to keep his voice low, thank the stars. “There’s no way I’m competing against you in anything.”

“So you just want to stand by, glorying in my victory, and leave it to Iko to figure out how to pack all the stuffed animals I’m about to win you?”

“Obviously.”

By the time they sat down for lunch, Kai was the proud and somewhat harried owner of four cat keychains, a stuffed bear that he’d draped over one shoulder, a stuffed dog that he’d draped over the other, and an enormous stuffed elephant that he’d draped over his head.

“Aren’t you going to carry any of this?” he gasped between bites of his fried monstrosity.

“They’re yours,” Cinder replied sweetly. “Besides, they make such a good disguise.”

Kai rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged at his lips, and he didn’t argue.

“Besides,” Cinder continued, “if you want to go on some rides next, I’m sure you can leave your friends with one of the employees.”

Kai raised an eyebrow at the whirling cars in front of them, people shrieking as they spun past. “Right after eating?”

“There’s no way it can be as bad as Thorne’s takeoffs.”

And it wasn’t— their stomachs survived the ride with nothing more than an ache from how hard they were laughing. It was only when they disembarked that Cinder remembered one crucial thing.

“Kai,” she hissed. “Your hood— put your hood back up, the wind blew it down—"

She tugged up her own, but it was already too late.

“Empress Selene?”

Cinder looked down to see a girl of no more than ten peering up at her with enormous blue eyes. There was no way she could say no to that face.

“Yes,” she said, pushing down her hood. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

Gasps crested like a wave from the bystanders, and the whispers followed in their wake— whispers that turned into squealing, and then shouted questions. Cinder tried to summon the poise of the empress, but she still found her back pressed against the fence around the ferris wheel behind her.

“I’ve already called Thorne,” Kai murmured in her ear. 

“And how are we supposed to get to him through this?” she hissed back, inclining her head at the crowd.

Kai’s eyes darted to the ferris wheel, then back to hers. He grinned.

“You’re crazy.”

“That’s why you love me.”

“True.” Cinder pressed a kiss to his cheek, eliciting cheers and boos from the crowd.

Kai stepped forwards. “As much as my wife and I would love to spend the whole day talking with you, we came here today to get a full experience of what an American carnival has to offer. If you’d be kind enough to excuse us, there’s one thing on our list we still haven’t gotten to.”

A roar of protest rose from the crowd, but the employees remained professional, ushering them through the gates and locking them behind them. As soon as one employee had checked their safety straps— not even grumbling at the stuffed animals Kai piled on his seat— another was cranking the lever that sent the their car wheeling into the air.

A familiar hum found Cinder’s ears— almost hidden, at first, in the cranking of the wheel, but soon too loud to ignore. She grinned as their car came to a stop at the top of the wheel.

“Right on time.”

Screams echoed from the crowd below as the Rampion appeared above the wheel, its ramp lowering to reveal Cress looking down at Cinder and Kai with an amused grin. 

“Not a word,” Cinder warned as Kai began to toss Cress his stuffed animals.

“Of course not,” she promised, but her eyes gleamed.

Cinder sighed, but she couldn’t help but smile as she reached out a hand to let Cress haul her into the ship, wrapping her arm around Kai’s waist as the ramp closed behind him.

All in all, a good day.

[just2bubbly]

here are my top 5 favorite moments kaz brekker insulted someone to their face :

"always one step ahead aren't you?" "when it comes to you I'd say I have a running start"

"I had a question. about your mother and whether the rumors were true?"

"this is what happens when stupid people start making big plans"

"boys like you weren't meant to get ideas helvar"

"I'm superstitious not stupid" "you can be both you know"

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gray streaks not disappearing but spreading as heavy things continue happening to them and when they emerge from tartarus their hair has entirely turned white

[just2bubbly]

show fans are like that bc the show chewed up everything that made pjo nuanced and meaningful, and made it more palatable for them. they think the books are mid because they dont want to think about the parts that dont sit well with them thats literally it

[just2bubbly]

it's funny how I have become "anti-kaider propoganda" but it's you guys that want me to write it

about the chicken thing, I saw an insta reel along the lines of "i think our cat's in love with my husband" and I just replaced it with a chicken 😂 I don't think that's real or might happen since Kai's not an farm person, i believe Scarlet's chicken probably drive him crazy

"I stil love her after all these years"

How is she? "She is happy"

Kai and Thorne talk about certain ex queen lunar

Masterlist

hey, lost the 4 day streak of angst, but I'm here, and it has to count for something, this is written, following this particular oneshot: 1 2 You don't have to read them for it make sense, but a few lines draws parallel, and they have good angst too, so I'd suggest taking a glance. thank you, for sending the ask, anon! I hope you like it just as much as I did!

Genre: Hurt/Comfort (Canon Divergence AU)

Words: 2.9k

Thorne's Perspective:

Walking around the fancy corridors of the New Beijing Palace felt odd, something Thorne hadn't imagined he would ever do again. He glimpsed at the paintings of former Emperors donning the wall, with Kai and his wife at the end of the hallway—something Thorne wasn't fond of looking at.

"Cadet Carswell Thorne," a voice announced, making the couple turn around, only to face the Emperor's advisor, "- one would have thought you would have learned your lessons of wandering around!"

"It isn't wandering if I know my way, Torin-Daren," he pointed, a polite chuckle trying to diffuse the awkwardness around them. Being the ever-professional, Torin didn't appreciate his attempt at humour, giving the two an intense stare—until a smile broke on his face.

"It's been a while, Cadet Thorne. You look beautiful, Miss Darnel. I'm quite glad to see the family man transformation of you," Torin comments, his hand reaching for a shake.

"It's Mrs. Thorne now," Cress said, shaking Torin's frailed with age hand "-Carswell had to at some point. You're looking at the finished product of this transformation."

"I'm delighted with this change, Carswell," Torin says, a warm smile supporting his words. In between those frown and smile lines on his face, Thorne notices the relief, even some gratitude, that is loosely hidden in his polite smile and stiff posture. Quick to realize that it wasn't just Kai who was anticipating their response, but even Torin to some extent. Funny, how the man who once thought his presence was a nuisance, had come to long for it, even when it was a consequence of Kai.

"Here's the door to the dazzle," Torin states, coming to stand before a mahogany door, carved with little Chinese relics, and a fully-bloomed Peony in the centre of it.

"Do we have to wait for our announcements to enter?" Cress asks, and Thorne knows how much she would hate being in the spotlight for everyone to stare at.

"Fortunately, we didn't want a fuss about your presence. The media loves milking content, and it's better to keep it away," Torin explained. Thorne heard the 'no nonsense about Cinder, with you being here' remark that was well-hidden in his reply. It wasn't surprising; this was a New Year's Party, and it wouldn't make sense to announce his revolutionary status for attention's sake.

Thorne offers Torin a lopsided salute, "AY AY, Shall we make an entrance?"

His two companion roll their eyes at him, Cress looping her arm through his, waiting for the doors to open.

Inside, it's gold and crimson, the Commonwealth colours. There are tall windows, showing the glowing city lights against the night sky. There are sculptures carved on the ceiling, something Thorne hadn't noticed before. It looked like they had made renovations to this room; his absence from the Palace had been long, and the realisation of it struck him at that moment.

A few nobles, government officials, and foreign guests milled around with crystal glasses in hand. It wasn’t a ball, just a gathering, but there was still something quietly grand about it—like everything in Kai’s life now.

"Are we supposed to search for Kai?" Cress whispered, taking in the changes like he had been doing.

"I don't know what to say to him."

"He won't know what to say to us, as well. We will figure it out." Cress assures him. He finds her fingers, pressing their palms against each other, as they enter this room of important people and a friend they had lost some time ago, and perhaps could find again tonight.

It didn't take a long time to spot the Emperor. He stood amid the largest crowd, nodding, shaking hands, sipping champagne with every other person. He wore some modernly styled ceremonial robes, button-down that encompassed his entire upper frame. The dark burgundy collar made him look sharp, unlike all the times Thorne had seen him, and only seen a young boy. He didn't look that anymore. Tired, was what Thorne thought at his sight.

They finally caught his eye, waiting against some doorway, a smile crossing his face at the sight of Cress and Thorne. Kai waved in their direction, and with it, a few people looked, one of them the Empress. He could feel Cress wave back, mouthing to 'take his time' against him. Thorne didn't have anything in him to offer, he expected this to be easier in his head.

"Welcome," Kai said, joining the two in their corner.

"We had to come, it isn't every day the Emperor sends you an invite," Thorne chuckles, throwing his arms around Kai, the action surprises everyone. But Kai doesn't fumble, finding himself being pressed against the Cadet's arms.

"We almost got tackled by palace security, but Torin vouched for us. That man’s really mellowed out in his old age," Thorne says, as Cress and Kai embrace.

"He's probably relieved you didn't crash the Rampion through the southern wing again."

Cress laughs at his expense, mock hurt on his face, Thorne shoves Kai half-heartedly. Kai smiles. Warm and genuine, but the dismay soon catches up to him, as he starts talking about the weather. Luna. Policies. Anything to overlook the years of absence they've had.

"Dada."

They turn around to find a six-year-old, in a red dress, that pools at her feet, hair in intricate braids, that would probably hurt to take out. This must be his daughter, Tara. The kid that's been all over the Commonwealth Press since her birth.

"You must be Da's friends," She says, pointing at Cress and him, startling them.

"Tara," Kai berates her, "-we don't talk like that."

"Not being rude. I just pointed it," She says, and thinking better of it adds, "I'm sorry."

"You must be the young princess, I've heard so much about," Cress says, going down on her knees to meet the little girl's eyes.

"From Da?" Tara quirks, and there's the truth in between them, but this girl doesn't need to know about the hardships of life yet, so Cress lies, saving everyone the trouble.

"Yes, Kai- he loves talking about you. Just a few minutes ago, he told us how proud he was of his baby."

"I'm not a baby," Tara says, looking in Kai's direction, and Thorne chuckles, "That's exactly what I told him, but your Da, he never listens to us."

"I like your friends Dada. They're funny," she whispers to Kai but is too loud that they hear her, and Kai grins.

"We like you too, Tara," Thorne beams, and having caught in her secret, she blushes, hiding behind Kai's feet. For a while, talking with this kid, they forget, how everything around them is strange. Instead, they laugh at old jokes and share antics with Tara, who can't stop laughing at the stories about her father. As revenge, Kai tells her how Thorne forgot Cress in the Rampion once, and about the chicken that seemed to be in love with him, and so many tales, that it felt like old times again.

But then it was Tara's bedtime, and once Daiyu joined them, the awkwardness was evident. She welcomed him and Cress, wishing them a good stay, but her presence was enough reminder for Thorne. Even Cress who had shared snippets and weird facts to make the young princess laugh, chose to remain silent.

"I think we should call it a night too," Cress suggests, as the silence stretches on. Thorne is eager to agree, but Kai asks to have a word with him. Puzzled, he agrees.

"I'll find the way back. It was great meeting you, Kai." Cress says, hugging Kai, the two stay like that for a while, and Thorne wonders if they'll ever see him again.

"Maybe this conversation, somewhere else?" Kai asks, and he leads Thorne out to the balcony. Thorne watches the dark garden, illuminated with sun glow lights, that look enchanting.

"I didn't think you'd come," Kai finally admits, and it's for the two to acknowledge the facts they have been avoiding the whole night.  

"Honestly, I didn't think I'd come either. I just didn't want to wait years for another opportunity to come around, to make amends."

"I'm glad you took this opportunity," Kai whispers, so small as if Thorne would vanish if he said it any louder.

It's too much to keep his curiosity hidden, so Thorne questions the one thing that had eaten him up since receiving the letter, "Why send the invite now, Kai? After so many years?"

"It's like you said, I didn't want to regret not making amends sooner-"

"Don't be diplomatic about this, Kai. The least we deserve is the truth," Thorne hurls the words, he hasn't come all the way to hear him say a buttered version of emotions.  

"Do you want me to say 'I missed you', cause that's not-"

"No, Kai! Because if you missed me, it won't take 10 years to hear from you!" Thorne yells, his temper finding the escape it had been looking for years.

Kai huffs, and for a moment he realizes, that Kai can throw him out for his words. He's no longer the boy, Thorne called 'Your Kai-ness', that boy's vanished, and in his place is a man, married, a father, all things he wanted to be. Just not to the person, anyone had imagined.

"At least I tried making amends, what did you do, Thorne? You left, nothing to show for years of friendship, not even a 'happy birthday', you don't come in here and tell me not to be noble!" Kai yells back, and the honesty is brutal, but it's better than the illuded version of them laughing over alcohol.

Thorne doesn't have any right to reprimand Kai, he hadn't been any better for 10 years. They were at fault, and for all, Kai might have been responsible for breaking his best friend's heart, Thorne was at fault for picking a side, and never caring about the other.

"I haven't been any better, yes. And I can't apologize for it. I'm sorry, Kai. For leaving you alone, stars, I hope we find some contact." Thorne speaks, shifting to face him, and notices the shoulders hunched, relax a bit, as he turns to punch Thorne in his side. He sits against the railing, moving to look at the ongoing party, that would go on till everyone was too drunk to have any more fun.

"This isn't forgiveness-"

"But it's something," Thorne whispers, joining next to his friend.

"Tara, my daughter, asked why none of my friends ever visited, and I'd to change it," Kai answers, his fingers running to the gelled hairdo of the Party.

"That's funny. I thought you were dying, and wanted to name me your successor," Thorne jokes, getting Kai to join in on his laughter.

"Torin would have a field day just over the thought of it!"

"Imagine the headlines, "Ex-Lunar Queen's Revolutionary Friend Made

-" Thorne says, failing to keep his words in check, that would damage all the progress they made, "- I didn't mean to bring her up, I'm used to joking about it. It's her cop-" Thorne shuts up, how could he be stupid to mention Cinder. That was the only rule he'd to follow, not to mention her at all. Like At All!

He sits idle, too afraid to make a wrong move again, but then Kai finds his voice, as he asks, "You talk about me?"

"We joked for a while, it was her coping mechanism. No longer." Thorne confesses, what more can this information result in, he thinks.

"I don't know what to say," Kai reveals, and Thorne understands, it's an honest reaction.

"Do you not think about it?"

"What?"

"Her."

"I don't like to ponder, it's all things of the past now."

"Kai," Thorne whispers, he isn't here to help make old wounds worse, but he has to ask, to be a good friend, you have to be a worse person, "- are you happy?"

He doesn't answer right away. His hands clasped together, as he throws a glance behind, "I have a loving wife and, a beautiful daughter that I love to the ends of the world. I think that pretty much says it."

"That's wonderful, but it doesn't answer my question."

"What do you want me to say, Thorne?"

"Whatever, you have been keeping yourself from admitting for all these years," Thorne replies.

They sit in the silence, and Thorne knows better than to push. He's waited 10 years, this seems easier. He notices some of the lights turning off, as the clock reaches midnight. As the noises of crickets become evident, Kai breaks the silence.

"I'm stuck at this possibility that would never happen. It's been 10 years, and I still can't stop thinking about it."

Thorne doesn't interrupt, he knows how there's always more.

"I have tried to erase anything associated with her. That's one of the reasons, why I let you push me away, no mention of this doomed love story, and I love my wife, and this life I have carved with Daiyu. But I keep coming back to thinking about her, and no matter what I do, it haunts me. It's stupid how it hasn't gone away, I have been away from her for far longer than I have been with her, so why isn't this torment over?" Kai gushes, heartbreak leaking in his words. It pains Thorne to see him in this state, but there isn't much for him to do. Kai made his choices that night, he needs to live with them now.  

"You still love her."

Kai closed his eyes. And then said, almost inaudibly: “I still love her. After all these years.”

The admission shouldn't surprise Thorne, but it still does.

Kai leaned back, the pale moon shining above, as he continued.

“I thought it would fade. The ache, the weight of her memory. I thought if I kept going long enough—maybe I could let her go.”

"You did let her go," Thorne points, harsh words, but honest.

"It wasn't meant to be, that's what I tell myself, it's better than thinking about how I failed," Kai admits, voice low, to not break this illusion he'd made.

Thorne wants to say something, to tell him that he's not failed. That Cinder was his right person, right time, but the time was too short, wasn't forever. And once it was over, she became the wrong person.

Kai exhales, "How's she?"

“She’s happy,” Thorne said after a moment. “We saw her a few days ago. She laughs more than I remember.”

Kai’s throat worked as he swallowed.

“That’s good,” he said.

“You sure? Because you don’t look like a guy who’s glad to hear that.”

Kai offered a faint, painful smile. “It’s not like I want her to be unhappy. I just... I think a part of me thought she’d regret leaving too.”

“She didn’t leave you,” Thorne said, he knows Kai won't appreciate, hearing 'You let her leave', “-She left everything. The throne, the court, the attention.”

Kai nodded. “It's like she got her old life back, the quiet without the agony, away from the always-watching eyes. It hadn't been that easy here, they remember our past. It hasn't been any kinder looking back, that it had been living through it."

Thorne keeps silent, it won't be a lie, to know that Cinder left this life behind, but this life she had shared with Kai, hadn't left her.

"She asks about you, sometimes.”

Kai looked at him sharply.

“She never says your name. Vague things, about ‘how things are on Earth,’ or ‘how’s the palace.’ It’s stupid, really. She pretends it’s curiosity.”

Kai’s voice cracked slightly. “And you?”

“I tell her what she already knows,” Thorne said. “That you’re married. That you’re doing fine.”

Kai looked down at his hands. Thorne leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. He isn’t good at deep conversations. He’d rather be charming, deflecting. But this—this was real.

“You don’t always stop loving someone just because it ends,” he said. “Some people settle in your bones.”

Kai closed his eyes. “That explains why mine always hurt,” he attempts at humour. A silence fell over them again, heavier now.

“I keep thinking,” Kai said eventually, “that if I could go back, I’d try harder. I wouldn’t be noble about it. I’d beg them.”

Thorne tilted his head. “Do you think that would’ve changed anything?”

Kai looked out at the garden. “No. I had already begged, it didn't make any difference.”

Thorne nodded. He didn’t say he understood—because this wasn’t his love story. But he’d seen the way Cinder looked at Kai. And the way Kai never quite looked at anyone else the same.

They sat in silence a little longer, until the wind grew colder and the lights in the room all shut off, one by one.

Kai stood. “Thanks for coming,” he said.

Thorne stood too. “You're always welcome to visit us.”

Kai didn’t answer. But the thought hung there, fragile and full of maybe.

As they reentered the palace, the laughter of the crowd echoed down the hallway. The sound of a life still going. A life Kai had chosen. But behind him, in a garden laced with memory, something softer lingered.

Not regret. Not quite.

Just the ache of a love that time had made quiet.

But never gone.

__

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