justatinysprout

[justatinysprout]

#hi I’m bitches #yes I’m running away from my wips #no I will not get over it

bitches be like "i love writing fanfiction" and then constantly second guess themselves because what if they're not good enough what if it's cringe what if no one likes it what if people laugh when they see it what if i mischaracterized someone what if i didn't tag it properly what if what if what if

[justatinysprout]

one time he and i were sitting in bed and i said “where do you feel stuff?” and he said “what do you mean” and i said, “here is anxiety” and pointed to my bottom left rib where the spiders start. he pointed to his throat. “it’s here for me.” 

i keep anger in my breastbone, he holds it in his hands. i feel sadness on my shoulders, he feels it in his lungs. 

we play this game until we come to love, and i realize that i am terrified (jugular vein) of what might come. what if it is not the same. what if he feels it somewhere else, what if it is just a flash fire, not the slow burn, what if it is congealing in one place instead of radiating, i try to change topics, flight response (sternum)

he takes my hands in his and puts them over his ribs and says, “everywhere, everywhere, like a sun is trying to escape me, like i am being consumed and you are filling up where used to be empty.” i say, “don’t be ridiculous humans are 99% empty space,” i nervous laugh (spiders down spine), he holds his gaze with me. 

“everywhere,” he repeats.

[justatinysprout]

[justatinysprout]

[justatinysprout]

Everyday I dig my hole into mdzs a little deeper

all right guys, let’s have a conversation about soulmates

because I’m a nerd who majored in ancient China and still can’t let it go

okay so we all know that wangxian invented romance, but let’s talk a bit more about the iconic dialogue in episode 25:

Lan Wangji: 你把我當成什麼人? / What kind of person do you take me for?

Wei Wuxian: 我曾經把你當做我畢生知己 / I had once thought that, in my lifetime, you would be the one who knew me.

Lan Wangji: 現在仍是 / I still am.

I’ve seen various translations of the phrase “畢生知己” as “lifelong confidante” or “soulmate,” and I’m always so torn because these are both fine translations but like, not quite there

Keep reading

[justatinysprout]

#holy shit #you're so right #this is why i am never over mdzs and won't be a long time # there is no perfect world and mdzs is proof of that #nhs is smart yes but he only came out and really used that for his own personal reasons #if it was lxc that was killed I doubt that NHS would have gone all in #also poor qs her only fault is not having known and even then that is the consequence of her mother's decisions after what happened #no I am not saying she wanted jgs but I am saying that at any point she could have told her husband #but that's coming from the viewpoint of a women in the 21st century and women can't really do that in ancient china #time period matters and I want to see more of it

i genuinely feel like The Whole Point of Jin Guangyao’s demise is that it was not justice. in-universe, it did not actually come about because of any of his deeds that we the modern audience would consider the most heinous. Nie Huaisang plotted against him because he killed Nie Mingjue specifically, and… like, Mingjue explicitly and with pre-meditation tried to kill Jin Guangyao three separate times, with the novel (my preferred text source) heavily implying he only started playing the evil music after that third time. this could very reasonably be argued to be self-defense.

i’m not necessarily interested in re-litigating which of JGY’s worst acts were, which ones were justified, which ones he maybe didn’t do, which ones were okay because they were sexy, how unforgivable any of them are, etc, but i think we can all agree that if he simply avoided killing NMJ, his other deeds would not instantly become fine. so NMJ is not the golden snitch of fucked-upness in his repertoire. it is far from The Worst Thing He’s Done.

but it is the reason that NHS hunted him.

JGY’s punishment was not about justice on a moral scale, but on a personal scale. (this is a narratively valid reason to destroy someone, btw. JGY clearly did not kill his own father because his dad was a graceless abusive imperialist sex offender and war profiteerer who ordered the slaughter of dozens of innocents and ruined countless lives. he killed JGS because JGS insulted his mother. so while i sincerely believe that NHS wanted personal vengeance, with moral justice being relatively unimportant to him, that’s not at all meant to be a criticism of him.)

to further cement it, the final blow dealt against JGY was explicitly for a deed he did not do. narratively, it would have been SO EASY to write him making a last desperate attempt to run and getting caught on a sword, or lunging for some final hostage and missing. this would be completely in line with his behaviour leading up to that point: the author created COUNTLESS opportunities for some hero or another to run him through when he was actively scheming and manipulating. but she deliberately didn’t.

she deliberately made JGY, a person who had committed so many vile deeds that anyone in the jianghu could accept his execution as just, die an unjust death, slaughtered for something he didn’t do.

(do you think the characters cared that JGY had killed some nameless working women, btw? even LXC was more concerned about his scumbag father. that time he slaughtered an entire family of civilians as enrichment for Xue Yang? to the best of my recollection, that wasn’t even brought up in the main book. that was just for us.)

i’m making this post because a lot of people have told me point blank that JGY “earned” his miserable ending by doing bad shit, that Jiang Cheng/JGY/LXC/whoever the person thinks is an antagonist because they were mean to wangxian were “punished” with horrible fates, and this is how MXTX is codifying who the villains and who the heroes are, and the story is actually explicitly about moral uprightness prevailing over repugnance. and i just think that’s kind of a lackluster reading for a text that’s so blatantly explained that in this universe, good or bad things will simply happen to people completely regardless of whether or not it’s fair.

friend izzy points out that in the world of MDZS, “justice only happens on a personal scale”. there is no societal change. there is no large-scale justice. guilt is basically determined whenever some powerful people get in a room together and agree on it. and neither of the protagonists actually bother to change this. WWX’s big heroic stand was to save a village of a few dozen family members and retreat from larger society completely. LWJ’s heroic deeds account to literally just vigilantism. and this is good. the Wen ghosts coming out of the blood pool said: that was enough. sizhui’s whole existence says: protecting a handful of “unimportant” people for a year was worthwhile.

(XXC, SL, Mianmian etc also just kind of peaced out and wandered around helping people on an individual basis. and since I’m being petty anyway, I’ll once again throw out the fact that the person who affected the largest-scale positive societal change was in fact JGY, whose watchtowers were repeatedly praised for saving countless civilian lives, by the narration and by WWX himself.)

NHS committed himself to vengeance, neglecting his duties to his sect, killing animals, catching Qin Su in it as collateral, endangering children, desecrating the grave of an innocent woman, traumatising Jin Ling and thrusting him into a massive power vacuum at age 14, and destablising the politics of the entire Jianghu because there was no other way to get the piece of justice he personally needed.

any family member of any of the 3,000 people that Wei Wuxian killed at Nevernight have exactly as much right to do to Wei Wuxian exactly what Huaisang did to Jin Guangyao.

but nobody in this story “got what they deserved”. they just got it.

[justatinysprout]

They are so silly to me.

Currently selling this design as a sticker and acrylic charm on my Etsy! Free Shipping worldwide :D

[justatinysprout]

I had to draw this text post by @hozukitofu because I absolutely love the idea of the Jin sibs bonding… JZX gets new friends! JGY gets some people who sympathise with his tragic backstory and don’t treat him like shit (hopefully curbing his murdery tendencies)! Qin Su doesn’t get trapped in an accidental incest marriage! and MX gets a new family who treat him better than the horrible Mo clan :.) honestly, it’s what they all deserve. 

[justatinysprout]

ch 124

[justatinysprout]

[justatinysprout]

i thought my suicidal late teens were the hardest years of my life but nothing could’ve prepared me for my 20s waking up everyday with no purpose, feeling so lost, unable to keep up with friendships, watching everyone move on with relationships and careers and being unable to catch up. and I’m such a “life is not a race” type of person but damn I’m losing so hard rn

[justatinysprout]

I just made this and figured I should share it with the world, not just one discord server.

[justatinysprout]

[justatinysprout]

"Lotus"

[justatinysprout]

“I hope this email finds you well”

First of all the only emails that ever find me well are from AO3

[justatinysprout]

Sass master Jiang Cheng & his unparalleled "3 times divorced, single parent of a teenager" energy since age 15 appreciation:

[justatinysprout]

this morning NASA abandoned their mars rover Opportunity (aka Oppy) because it (she) got hit by a storm on Mars and it knocked her camera and wheels out and her last words to the team were “my battery is low and it is getting cold”. I know she’s a machine but I’m devastated. Oppy is the one who discovered water on Mars. RIP oppy ily space baby