justifiedgodcomplex

[justifiedgodcomplex]

Being a survivor of OEA/child trafficking is wondering if going home for the health decline/death of a family member could be a trap. I’ve been sobbing for an hour.

[justifiedgodcomplex]

blackout amnesia is such a serious term it sounded so scary to us and the name for what it really is was kinda misleading as we take things very literally.

its not like... everything goes black and then suddenly ur somewhere else doing something strange.

for us the main way it exhibits (as an example) is well be going to work and suddenly were only a couple minutes away when just "seconds ago" we were locking the door. and well ask "when did i get to this point". everything about the walk from the door to work is suddenly melted away and we gather from CONTEXT that "oh yeah i walked to work" but that takes thought and effort. the reality and memory is still a blur.

needing to figure out how u got somewhere or when u started doing something means yes uve experienced blackout amnesia. we believed we didnt have DID because we would use context clues to fill in a vague story if what happened. but the reality is u shouldnt find urself frequently wondering where ur memories went.

-michael + siff

[justifiedgodcomplex]

Vehemently anti Endo, and anti “trans ‘ramcoa’”cosplay trauma on someone else’s blog. Some of us can’t put it on the shelf for the night when play acting flashbacks and seizures gets too tiring. Fuck off.

[justifiedgodcomplex]

Some dipshit really said “look up highway dissociation” to try and say dissociation “happens to everyone every day”.

Y’all really do like butchering words to make them fit into your narrative huh? Cuz ain’t no way you’re trying to compare your brain filtering out background noise so you can focus on more important things to forgetting days, weeks, months or even years of your life to protect yourself from severe trauma.

One of those things happens to everyone. The other only happens to people with severe trauma disorders and/or someone going through something traumatic. Comparing a normal brain function to something only disordered brains do and trying to say they’re exactly the same is not only stupid, but ableist.

Shut the fuck up.

[justifiedgodcomplex]

A system is a collection of alters. Alters are chronically dissociated self states, with different neurological pathways that often are accompanied by a varying degree of amnesia. Dissociation is caused by stress/trauma. Alters are a byproduct of dissociating from trauma. You can’t dissociate from trauma you do not have. You cannot dissociate without trauma. You cannot have alters without trauma. You cannot have a system without alters.

You cannot be a system without trauma.

Do you have to know about the trauma ? No. Does it have to be a certain type of trauma ? No. Does it need to be a certain severity ? No. It just needs to have occurred during critical developmental period of the brain. Before the ego states have stitched together, it must be chronic, and beyond the child’s stress threshold, otherwise it will not disrupt the developmental growth. This is different for everyone. The reason trauma cannot be listed as a diagnostic criteria, is because there is no “xyz trauma that causes dissociative disorders”. It’s completely unique to each person suffering from the disorder. And in often cases, the person suffering from the disorder isn’t aware of their trauma. That’s the point of the disorder. This does not mean you don’t need trauma to suffer from a dissociative disorder. Systems are byproducts of dissociative disorders, you cannot be a byproduct of a disorder you do not have.

Endos are not systems. What do I mean by this? I mean that, by definition, that term is not suited for them, and is not meant to describe them. Just like kinning doesn’t mean you’re a system, just like roleplaying doesn’t mean you’re a system, just like religious practises such as tulpamancy isn’t a system. You are perfectly free to do whatever you please, truly. But do not compare it to being a system. You do not share our experiences. You are a different community entirely, and that’s ok.

But please, for the love of god, stop invading our community, and stop spreading misinformation about an already stigmatised and misunderstood disorder.

I understand if you didn’t know better. But please, educate yourself, and stop spreading this misinformation. Being a system isn’t an identity. It’s not a label. And please, stop comparing it to being queer. This is a mental illness. Being queer is not a mental illness.

[justifiedgodcomplex]

You've heard "not all religions are cults."

Now get ready for "not all cults are religious."

[justifiedgodcomplex]

Satanic Panic, The False Memory Foundation’s Shaky Origins, and Why You Should Believe RAMCOA Survivors

(TW: mentions of RAMCOA, False Memory Foundation, child torture & death, cults, trafficking)

Pretty disappointed to see a fairly popular and well known blog on tumblr is encouraging the idea that RAMCOA doesn’t exist. Just came across this post and was pretty bummed to see the comments too.

For those that agree with them (most of my followers won’t but who knows who will stumble across this), please know that RAMCOA has been going on for much longer than the Satanic Panic. The Satanic Panic was fabricated in an effort to discredit RAMCOA survivors. It was supported by the False Memory Foundation, which was created by a man (and his wife) trying to prove his daughter’s repressed memories of trauma involving him did not really happen. [Explained further in the third article further down in this post]

For the record, false memory/planting false memories has been disproven, it’s not possible to fully plant false memories in patients. Some memories can be altered to an extent because memories can be disjointed and influence from others can cause memories to shift slightly, which is why it’s not encouraged for trauma patients to share exact detailed memories with each other. For example, if two trauma patients were abused by their father and had a similar situation happen and patient A spoke about their experience in detail, if both fathers wore glasses and patient A describes their father to have black rimmed glasses, patient B’s memory might shift to believe that their father also had black rimmed glasses, even though his glasses were gold rimmed. However, it’s not possible to fully plant memories that do not exist in a patient’s memory. The “base memory” so to speak has to be there in order for any alterations to occur, and those alterations that are possible are often rather minuscule, such as glasses or whether or not their abuser had facial hair or not, or the color of the person’s eyes. Not an entire scene of RA. [Again, explained well by the third article below.]

Repressed memory has been proven to exist. (Though it’s more accurately called dissociated memories by clinicians) It can even exist in people who have traumas that happen in adulthood. Pieces of a traumatic event may go missing in a patient’s working memory, and they may not retrieve it until they are ready to process the memory and all the emotions and information that comes with it. However, it still exists stored in the brain, just in a different area than working memory. It’s why triggers to the traumatic event (that the patient may not even realize are triggers until they occur) can cause flashbacks and memory resurfacing during said flashbacks.

Some sources explaining the False Memory Foundation and the harm they’ve caused: [a good overview of a woman who was major in the development of the idea of repressed memory being a myth, by a researcher of child psychiatry], [while this is a psychology today article, I think this explains well how misused the idea of FMS - false memory syndrome - is.] [A comprehensive article explaining the roots of the FMF and how the studies used to “prove” false memory are terrible and easily debunked, with several assertions from professionals in the field.] I want to add that while the FMF has dissolved and rightfully so, the British False Memory Society is still alive and well, as well as the Satanic Temple’s Grey Faction, and both groups still cite False Memory Syndrome as being real and claim that RAMCOA survivors have false memories of their abuse.

However, before Satanic Panic happened, people were starting to actually believe in the existence of RAMCOA and the concept of DID was brought into the mainstream. A survivor on tiktok has a very good video on this situation. And that scared people, especially the abusers themselves who didn’t want to get caught. That’s when the False Memory Foundation stepped in on the heels of Satanic Panic and literally rewrote the textbooks therapists learned from, and basically taught everyone that repressed memory doesn’t exist. Any therapists that spoke about their patients’ experiences with RAMCOA were sued. Therapists stopped wanting to treat RAMCOA patients for fear of being sued and/or losing their license or being told they planted these memories in their patients’ heads and possibly losing their licenses. It led to generations of old therapists not treating RAMCOA patients and generations of new therapists learning it doesn’t exist.

But it does exist. To outright deny that child torture cannot exist is absurd. 1-2% of reported child abuse falls under the definition of child torture. [source, TW: photos of children with serious injuries from torture included on page 7 of this document] For the record, my abuse was never and has never been reported, and most survivors—RAMCOA and non-RAMCOA, whose trauma falls under the definition of torture—never reported or plan to report.

Even if you find the mind control aspect to be far-fetched, ritual abuse most certainly does exist. I’ve seen videos on the surface web on fucking tiktok of all places of child torture and ritual abuse. Organized abuse such as sex trafficking and labor trafficking does exist. Two out of those three things in the acronym are well documented to exist. And for the record, ritual abuse and cult abuse even in adults can cause extreme mind and identity alteration, upwards to the point of nearly being mind control. Look up OSDD-2 in the DSM-V. Look up just about any cult survivors testimonies and hear how they talk about how they nearly became a different person within their cult, how the cult uses torture and mind altering drugs to get their initiates to commit terrible acts of violence to each other. Now imagine if that same stuff were happening to a child whose mind is significantly easier to mold and change. Even if the child RAMCOA survivor does not develop DID, it can cause extreme conditioned responses in which the child (or now grown adult or teen) will still do the responses even now because as a child they were threatened with torture or death if they didn’t do it.

Mind control is essentially an extreme form of conditioning, and with the plethoras of research on DID and how it functions, it’s not even a difficult concept to grasp that a cult member might learn how to split new alters in a child via torture and then manipulate those alters to do what they want individually. Anyone who knows fuck all about DID knows that alters can be triggered out via positive and negative triggers. All mind control programming is, is creating a specific trigger for a specific alter and then when that child is exposed to that trigger, that alter comes out and does the task it was taught to do—usually via torture, manipulation, and threats of harm to the child or those the child loves. It’s not a difficult concept to grasp, and with how long TBMC (torture based mind control) programmers have had to perfect their work, it’s no surprise that they’ve learned how to make alters do extremely complex tasks or hold onto specific functions, always at the ready for their specific trigger.

RAMCOA research doesn’t exist in mainstream spaces because it’s nearly impossible to be taken seriously because of people who claim it doesn’t exist when it’s not even a complex topic to understand. They just don’t want to accept that it exists. The concept is terrifying, harrowing, and at some times almost absurd—and that combination makes it easier for people to put their blinders up and decide it doesn’t exist. [Edited to add: On top of this, what little research is done on it is steeped in conspiracy theories that often have roots in antisemitism. While I’ve asserted that Miller’s deprogramming books are good reads for RAMCOA survivors, she does often sound conspiratorial, and quotes Svali, a known antisemite. While I don’t think RAMCOA is exclusively related to the Illuminati stuff she often talks about, Miller’s work cannot be completely discounted because of her beliefs of where the abuse originated. Where it originates matters much less than the fact that it happens. However, not from dark, underground, secret societies—but from normal places like churches, children’s own homes (yes, RAMCOA can be done by a single parent to a single child, it just may look different than say, a trafficking ring), trafficking rings, militaristic groups, political cults, etc. I wanted to put the above put there because I know someone is going to come at me and try to say the researchers who talk about it were conspiracy theorists. Yeah, they were. Maybe they were the only ones willing to talk openly about it because of the fact they’re conspiracy theorists? I don’t know. However, I think it should also be noted that just because the researchers sucked doesn’t mean the information taken from them isn’t useful when you weed out the conspiracy stuff. For example, a LOT of modern understanding of medicine was taken from Nazi and Japanese experiments during WWII. Arguably some of the worst doctors on earth. Do we discount everything we learned because they were horrible, evil, people? No. While those who studied RAMCOA went about it in shit ways, that doesn’t discount the information learned completely. Likewise, much of modern psych understanding came from roots that included incredibly unethical experiments that would never be allowed today. Do we throw out all of that info too? No, we don’t. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t hold these people accountable, I’m saying we cannot throw out all discussion of RAMCOA because the doctors who talked about it were shitty people.]

I wish I could decide it doesn’t exist. I have permanent scarring that proves what happened did happen. I have doctor’s visits that prove I am disabled because of the traumas I went through. I have a DID specialist who didn’t even know programming to our extent even existed before our parts started telling her what they went through and she heard it from our own mouth. She had to learn how to deprogram us on the fly because she’d never done so before. So fuck off with your “oh, RAMCOA patients only have RAMCOA because they’ve been influenced by their therapist to believe they do” bullshit.

I relive my traumas in flashbacks and nightmares daily. There have been periods in my healing process where I couldn’t leave the house without someone with me for months. I couldn’t hold a job for nearly a year. I didn’t know any of this happened to me until I was in my 20s. I thought my memory was just bad and the only parts of my childhood I remembered were little blips of good things, usually involving my parent that was not involved with the cult or memories with friends at school or when I was hanging out with my sports teammates. Living with this stuff is hell. You think I want to live with this stuff? If I could permanently erase it all from my memory forever I would. But I can’t. I don’t have that luxury.

It happened. And I’m not the only child it happened to, both in the area of my country I live in and in areas all over my country and the world. This is not an isolated phenomenon. It is more common than anyone tends to realize (though still rarer than most DID cases, thank fuck). I was lucky to survive. I survived because they wanted me to. I saw a lot of children, teens, and adults who were not as “lucky” as I was. If you won’t respect survivors and their stories, at least respect the ones who didn’t survive. They didn’t deserve their final moments to be so full of pain. All of the children in these groups deserved to be loved and cared for and treated with softness and compassion. So do adult survivors like me and many others.

If I could end on one thing, it would be to urge the doubters to have some fucking compassion and empathy for people who have been through things they cannot even begin to understand. My past feels like a nightmare I will never be able to escape. I cannot erase it. I can only try to heal from it. So heal I will do, and in the process I will continue to speak the truth of my experience as safely as I can.

You want proof it’s real? Survivors are your proof.

WE are the proof.

[Edit: changed some wording for clarification + added a section after rereading a couple hours later]

[Edit 2: I realized I said my abuse has never been reported, I meant my RAMCOA related abuse. Want to make that clear. I reported sexual abuse done by my church to CPS and nothing came of it. CPS actually wrongfully claimed that since they had no reports existing of that church harming kids they wouldn’t pursue it since it happened so long ago, when a cursory google search of said location shows they’ve been reported multiple times and all reports were dropped. Why, I’m not sure.]

[justifiedgodcomplex]

I spend so much time blocking random people who think they’re onto something with how trafficking works.

“Sound of freedom was suppressed!!” That movie is a barely accurate corporate jack off piece so saviors can feel better. I knew a survivor who met Tim Ballard in the Mormon church they were being trafficked in. Yall fall for propaganda so readily and it’s STAGGERING. It’s frustrating to watch the fanfic of people who have Zero knowledge of the life. “They’re satanic blood drinkers Adrenochrome rahh!!!”

Yeah….. no.

Half the “rituals” people talk about are theatrics explicitly so when they discuss it they’ll be written off, other half are real in a capacity but usually are using religious imagery as a tool of control and fear absent of any belief.

So many are actively falling for their tricks and looking down the wrong paths. It’s so frustrating to watch.

[justifiedgodcomplex]

(Tw for torture and trafficking based detailed discussions, tread lightly)

Interacting with the general public with regards to interfamilial torture and Trafficking is a bit like trying to explain to a die hard cartoon fan that SpongeBob is written by a bunch of dudes in a studio and not a real life place you can go to.

People are so Illusioned by media representation and none realize it. So many are Not immune to the propaganda that’s spread around, whether that be thinking they’re going to be trafficked just walking into a Walmart, or thinking that every survivor is kidnapped off the street.

I was a fairly normal kid outwardly. I went to school, went to a lot of doctors (I was medically fragile for much of my childhood, still am chronically ill), had sparce play dates and went to family events. I was a “joy to have in the classroom”.

And given I developed DID quite quickly from the conditions I was subject to, I had ANPs, or apparently normal parts. Alters which functioned to insure *i* could function. These alters were cut off from the memories and understanding of that life, even while it was still occurring, only living with the after effects of it all on a daily basis. This looked like ADHD, incontinence, troubling bathroom behaviors, aggression with toys (albeit behind closed doors, but this was due to my parents parenting choices, I masked many of my symptoms, otherwise they were bled from me with hours long screaming and spanking), and many others.

A lot of these things were chalked up to laziness, and I was often shamed for any symptoms I presented with, and since I didn’t often make waves in settings away from my parents, no other adults raised any flags either.

I think most people believe they’d be able to spot a trafficking victim. And you could probably spot a child being handled by amateurs, but not one being handled by people who know what they’re doing.

People also tend to disbelieve the things that go on in some rings, such as games (which are bet on by handlers) like hide and seek, capture the flag, etc, or the conditioning they use to keep kids controlled (to keep them from speaking about it, or showing signs of harm outside of the ring setting). People don’t tend to beleive it’s as common or as brutal as it is, and I find myself frustrated by people who don’t beleive or can’t fathom that level of hurt happens daily around the world, especially in the developed world. Or they do, and chalk it up to some grand satanic conspiracy, rather than a bunch of people making money off the harm of children. Which is something you see from YouTube to Hollywood all the way back to organized crime. I ask, if you can believe ruby franke perpetrated the same type of torturous conditions on her own children to illicit some kind of behavioral result, why is it then unbelievable when it involves children being sold for profit?

You may wonder why it’s normal children and not kidnappings, and that simply boils down to practicality. It’s much easier to conceal harm when the child’s guardians are in on it, than if they’ve been taken off the street. That’s a trail that could lead back to an entire org, and blow up the whole thing.

It’s the same way with deaths in these cults. Rarely is it a child with papers (birth cert, ssn). Often the children that die aren’t from the country they’re brought to, or were born into the ring, and don’t legally Exist. In my cult they often took great pains to prevent obvious injuries and deaths, because that could easily raise questions and lead to an org being dismantled. The more kids, the more profit. But they did do a lot to convince us death was close and possible. Mainly to do with manipulating the perceptions of a child. Using things like animal blood, dummies, and other things to scare kids into compliance.

This is also used to make kids recounts of things that happened seem unbelievable. (Such as adults wearing costumes and masks during drugged assaults so when the child reports it, they report “a demon assaulted me” or “the Easter bunny” instead of the adult perpetrator, whom is often related to the child)

this is the picture of commercialized child trafficking of today. It’s calculated and organized, and a far cry from the operations that get reported on in the news. I hope more learn about things like this.