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[justmarybowman-blog]

Yes.

#spitdat doc action! @spitdatdc @Brokeballer

[justmarybowman-blog]

#NaPoMo 5/30 "He's Always Been God"

I have been thinking about my father a lot lately. This is an old unfinished poem with new additions. I miss my father. This is an unedited version. Poets feel free to give feedback. 

my daddy  Had a judas scent Love and betrayal  Dancing from his pores

Assisted my intoxicated Stumble Carrying a cross  For his glory

Bled for his attention Wore a crown of insecurities And let my innocence whip my ability to hate him

My daddy Has always been God

somewhere  between pain and pride  perhaps he lost  his admiration for the sky

choose to live an ordinary life afraid  to be a God of mistakes

i should've told him  it was okay  his tears were never ignored espcially those  that fell behind closed doors

felt his core  In the palm of his hand couldn't understand  why he left  and didn't choose me  but now i know

he could handle  his own disbelief  mine  would've just proven his defeat

he has always been God

Just needed him to know I never lost my faith

showing him the holes in my hands became redundant  in retrospect my reluctance  was human  His doubts divine

daddy has always been God

Just never understood  why he kept sending me back to calvary  until now  it was never for humanity  it was always for him

[justmarybowman-blog]

3/30 #NaPoMo "I woke up like this"

At first,

She was volatile

A ball of triggers

Surrounded

By set trippin’ mirrors

Gang banging reflections

Stainless Steel, crip walking across

Glimmers of hope .

Long sleeves

And hidden scars

In summer

  Bridges

And eyes gazing

Into the Potomac  

  Somebody prayed for her

  Had her on their mind

  Eventually

She realized

No matter

How much she tried

Pill bottles emptied

Drunk drives

At midnight

With an appetite

For concrete walls

  She wouldn’t die

  Somebody prayed for her

  Had her on their mind

  How else

Can you explain

Her now

Had to be God

  She is so Job

I bet God

Was talking shit

on her behalf

Told Satan

To go ahead

  She’ll still

Love me

  And credit me

For smiles

That come natural

  I bet

she’ll tell the world

  Wearing short sleeves

Showing scars

To all of the Thomas’

Of the world

That don’t believe

  I bet she’ll

Be substance

Evidence of things

Unseen  

  At first,

She was volatile

A ball of triggers

Surrounded

By set trippin’ mirrors

  Now, She is me. 

[justmarybowman-blog]

2/30 #NaPoMo "Dear Daddy"

Dear Daddy,

I miss you.

The way

Jesus

Misses God.

[justmarybowman-blog]

1/30 #NaPoMo "To You"

To you.

The perfect storm,

The answered

Heart beats

Only heaven

Comprehends.

  You are

An Exhale

A palm

My hand

Glistens for.

  They call me

Alchemist

Endured journeys

Past sand dunes

And perceived

Impossibilities

So, I call you

Oasis

  Rainbow

  Reminder

That God

Is always on time

  This is,

Thank you

Because

You are you

  Beautiful

Like surprises

And smiles  

[justmarybowman-blog]

I am human. And beautiful. My heartbeat is the answer To all. I am powerful. And great. And patient. And ready. #GoodMorning #LoveOnSomebodyToday #SmileAtaStranger #JustMaryBowman #JMBsings

[justmarybowman-blog]

#Philly Valentine Behavior... don't really want to leave. :-(

[justmarybowman-blog]

At a meeting physically but mentally I am somewhere else... Here's a poem. Watch me crumble And dance Be bop your way Into facades Tell them You love me Grab me By my hand And spin me Into illusions Of grandeur Show them we're Fine And tell Me To believe it Smile While i crumble Be glad Your deciet Is exquisite and quite On time After all We're Performers On the stage Of insecurities And inability The show Must never Stop Like My insides Watch me crumble And call yourself Noble Hold Your head High No point In chins Down trodden Watch me Cumble Call it Picasso In the midst Of the "norm" Tell them You are A collector Of abstract art And Pain Just watch Me crumble And know That I dont mind For now At least. . .

[justmarybowman-blog]

I remember a few years ago, the extent of my self care when asked by my therapist was my morning shower and teeth brushing. Now look at me, taking my meds regularly n sh_t! Making doctors appointments and keeping them. Meditating and working out... im even working on my diet. #HIVPositive #SelfCare #TreatmentIsPrevention #MyGirlFriendTakingMeToThePoconosWhenMyViralLoadUndetectable #MyGirlFriendIsBetterThanYours lol

[justmarybowman-blog]

#NBHAAD National Black #HIV #AIDS Awareness Day S/O to my @realtalkdc_ fam! Free testing and you can win something special by getting tested.

[justmarybowman-blog]

#ThingsIamBecomingAccustomedTo #Style #YouCantAffordToWalkInMyShoes #IpaidTooMuchForTheJourney #FuckWithMeYouKnowIgotIt

[justmarybowman-blog]

#GoodMorning #Inspiration #IwokeUpLikeThis #LoveOnSomebodyToday #SmileAtaStranger #TheDayIsAsAwesomeAsYouMakeIt

[justmarybowman-blog]

Snack time #HealthyEating changing my lifestyle.

[justmarybowman-blog]

#ReadingIsFundamental #SupportTheArtist @yayabeybay

[justmarybowman-blog]

Working hard. @rjmie_

[justmarybowman-blog]

Do it. If it was your mama you'd call.

[justmarybowman-blog]

#Selfie at the drs office. This year is about wholistic health for me. Mind, body, and spirit. I love my new dr! He was stuck with an infected needle and had to take HIV meds for about a month and he said it has given him a special insight into what he was asking his patients to do. I appreciate a dr who isn't just trying to get a paycheck. He is about what ever is best for the patient. And he gave me prescription discount cards! Wooot wooot! Take care if yourselves people!