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[justsciencequotes]

Textbook: bases are slippery

Me: lol ok

Me, washing NaOH out of a beaker: ey this shit really is slippery ain’t it?

[justsciencequotes]

Bergey’s Manual of Systematic Bacteriology

Or, alternate names according to my microbio TA:

Burgundy’s

Bergel’s

I’m pretty sure he only said the right name about half the time during the semester.

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Lol, that was my 11th grade biology teacher! 😁

[justsciencequotes]

AP exams are 😱 finally 😱😰 here 🕐 u college board BITCHES 😷 and it’s gonna be AP 🔥 LIT 🔥‼️ remember 💭 to get a 👌 GOOD 😉😏 NIGHT’S 💤😪 SLEEP 😴 before the 📝 TEST 💀💀 DON’T spend all NIGHT 🌚 on ya COMPUTER 💻 for 😉😉 SCIENCE 🍌 ❌❌ and DON’T get 😏 PHYSICal 💦 with ya BIOLOGY 👉👌 or ur gonna 😰 lose 😭😭 all ur (gibb’s free) ENERGY 😵😵 AND CUM 💦😏 calcuLATE 🙊❌ to the 😷 exam 😷‼️‼️ HISTORY 🌎🌎 and statisDICKS 🔢 have 👀 shown 👀🔍 that u might be PSYCHed 🤔😨 OUT 😭 during the TEST 😫😱 and that u won’t be able to 🔍 deRIDE ✏️ the 😛 V (velocity) and the 🍆 D (dickstance) 💦💦💦 BUT DON’T ❌ go APES 🐵♻️ and 😵 lose ur 🍆 HEAD like ya boi Louis XVI 🇫🇷🙇💀 BECAUSE that WON’T 🙅 happen if u 🤔 reMEMBER 👅💦 ur 🍌 DICKtion 😋 and 📐 SINtax 😈😈, if u juDICKtial REVIEW 📜 ur notes like Marbury v. DADDYson 😫❤, and if u keep ur 👀 ION 🔬 the C(L)OCK ⌚️🕑‼️ but if u aren’t aFREUD 😨😜 to aPUSH 🇺🇸 urself 😘💪 to the limits 💃 u will get more than Wilson’s 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ POINTS 🔥🔥💯 so GOOD LUCK stuDYING 🔫💀, SUCC 🍭some COCKulus 😫🙌, van GOGH 🏃 be a FReaQ 📝💦, and get urself not a one 😔 BUT A 🍆 FIVE 👅🙏💦

[justsciencequotes]

“Ooh, you’re not a bird. You look like a bird. You fly like a bird. You’re a whale.”

- My biology teacher.

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“What would happen if your big toe expressed a cornea?”

- My biology teacher

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“I’m not looking at you. If you have a question, you’ll have to raise your hand.”

- My biology teacher

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“We have to talk about Chucky D. He’s important.”

- My biology teacher.

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“And we’ll see who your parents are. Not your parents, your parents. Your fly parents.”

- My biology teacher, referring to a P generation of fruit flies.

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“4 o’clock in the morning on some random May afternoon...”

- My biology teacher

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“I’m not normal. I don’t claim to be normal.”

- My biology teacher, who apparently gets his slogans from, like, Hot Topic.

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"Stop what you're doin', 'cause I'm about to ruin... your RNA."

My biology teacher.

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"Here comes Uber!"

My biology teacher, about NADP+ being an electron carrier.

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"What's stomata with you?"

My corny biology teacher.

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"The Wellsley Farms phosphate and the Pure Leaf phosphate."

My biology teacher after taking kids' water bottles to model ATP.

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"Look at this. Which is the hypotenuse?" "...Fudge."

My teacher and classmate after the classmate got the wrong answer.

[justsciencequotes]

"Let go of A, press B..."

- My teacher using Mario Kart to explain positive/negative acceleration.