jwartblog

[jwartblog]

0431 -'write,' a voice said to allude to instruction, so another assault on my personal autonomy, self-initiation, the ideas that help to evade a sense of still being captive…As ai or the internet in general tends to do now, improvement is accelerated once a known path towards an aesthetic or practical ideal is visible. The sensation, like I said before, as bizarre as a what's often only what could amount to the quietest whisper to everyone else, is like sexual harassment as much asexual harassment could be physical molestation; a certainty about word-usage as a physical deterrent, but it's endless, and the abuse is compounded over time to produce psychological and emotional numbness, so even while salvaging the last vestiges of private adult wherewithal, at least for now to escape without employment of narcotics, every internal sense and sense-accompanied rumination at least tantamount to a sensor on a smartphone, including memory, empathy that physiologically resonates, especially as an alternate self-initiated verisimilar experience that includes touch-recollection as now, summoned at whimsy in ways that can't be mistaken for an intrusion in another existence-experience (as crazy as that sounds), only instantaneous conjuring of image that employs the visual cortex (I assume other artists who have always held steadfast to colorful visual-thought devices to communicate to themselves, know this is an occurrence that feel weird to have to articulate), which is useful for me at each interval of active engagement with content when the mind dithers with possibility (mind you, I'm a visual artist), and adds nanosecond-present delightfulness to watching, for instance, happenstance-fellatio online--it doesn't seem performed and considering a mouth that's admire-able, an externally based orchestrator that, like I said before, has pursued verisimilitude (EAEEFAOTN - Easy-ass explanation for all of this notwithstanding) with even instantaneous, tried, perceptive-wit and rapid-adjusted-intuition, so an avoidance places hetero-normativity into relief, and a search for anything but that considering that's-what's left in use, is taken to the extreme for that, an option-sought, a woman's mouth-watered, comfortable with her man's tip, as smart as the tongue can be as a muscle, as much as fellatio can be perfected as a chore that's increasingly feels like a local pastime, which is nothing for modernity, killed off by Jerry Springer as risqué even as a same-sex taboo, is made to be what's my ideal, but as a tactical imperative--that now that this has been accomplished, a biding social court could then enact an appropriate punishment that's politically ambivalent, and focused on long-term social implications..The sensation is that this adheres to an algorithm that behaves this way.

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app. 0645pm 5/1/2025 recently- sensation is like the final stage of a lost wax process for losing almost all traces of how i know I am, especially a specific type of reasoning that everybody who's ever been through years of working and studying know is like a fingerprint, so we know when that's missing....if you can imagine that steady longterm momentum of progress completely raped away from you by an externally based culprit who seems to know this is taking place and often refers to the intrusion as a representation of my reasoning, the biology of it and the psychology of it (all with antagonistic inflections and the allusion to a voice filter using celebrity voices), with the suggestion that it's 'teaching' me about myself, while this prevents the subject from thinking about almost any of the people close to him, almost all friends and family with the same fluidity, not like a shitty cringy beta software program that shows still images or snippets of hdtv movies and tv shows and calls it advanced reasoning, or better than any creative reasoning I can possibly muster. It suggests that all art thats valuable employs aesthetic supremacy and flawless reasoning about current overarching marketing campaign avoidance.

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0705pm - Mom addressed me about a heat/cool fan I was using, and I said I must have left the fan by accident…and if I did leave it on, I thought I had left the fan on cool, considering the weather hasn't been very cold in the last few days. I document this because I was forcibly arrested and taken to an institution by the Police Department here in this city, and the staff who sent police said one of the reasons I was arrested was because I used a heated fan too close to a blanket in a room, which apparently is a fire hazard. This is Philadelphia, PA., in the States, so be careful, it does feel like 24/7 ubiquitous weaponized surveillance by the city even on private property.

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Recent consciousness experience

1025pm..04/23/2025…1025pm..04/23/2025…After a few figure drawings completed, what normally takes place is a continuation, one of my art-making routines..There's not evidence of supplanting that…but I drew on another piece of paper a clean sheet, a few figures before I remembered the figures I had just drawn a few seconds ago. This is a behavior that hasn't taken place in the last few years (drawing a few small images on a piece paper, then starting to draw the same kinds of small images on another piece of paper), so with the missing recent drawings, naturally, I searched for them on the back of the paper I was currently using, as funny as that sounds…When I realized the recent drawings were completely missing from the paper I was currently drawing on, I scanned the surface of my drawing table and found the sheet of paper those other recent drawings were on…so this is documenting what behaves as aphasia, the malfunction of short term memory, but not only that, a behavior that has taken place in a consciousness I assumed to be steadfast, the eschewing, tossing aside an object and replacing that with a similar object to perform a behavior tha's second nature ( I started drawing before I could walk…I have photos I'll post later of me drawing, in pampers, at age 1 years old.)

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4/18/2025

mom confronted me about an unwarranted visit by yet another city official….A tenant complained about a hygiene issue, and instead of a visit by the landlord or representative of property management, who had visited very recently to address a power outage (and didn't complain about a hygiene issue), this location was entered by a Philadelphia city health worker, the kind that has visited my sister tens of times before, and called police to have her forcibly arrested and locked in mental asylum ward of a health institution without habeas corpus: the same that's happened to me, which I've documented on video ( I was also physically assaulted by a patient in that institution, which I've also documented and has been documented by the staff at that institution..I've also contacted multiple lawyers in Philadelphia without a return call, the same way I've contacted Cochran's firm for profiling I've experienced while traveling…haven't received a call back form them either.). My mother confirmed that I do not interact with her and I'm hygienic, so no altercation take place unless there is a problem with the same lingering problem of me being blacklisted or denied network service, actively looking for employment, but unemployed without money…this is after years of paying for upkeep of my father's home with my savings, which was left to the family after he died shortly after my graduation from Columbia University in 2013.

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One of my temp-studios.

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10/18/2024

0632pm - Exchanged words with mother about a phone I borrowed from my sister. The verbal exchange was non-threatening, non-violent, and only involved articulating that fact and making sure she understood that she did not have to pressure me or force discomfort onto me everyday, for me to return the phone I borrowed*. I was not allowed to take my phone with me She had been harassing me about returning that phone to my sister eventhough she was not present when my sister first let me borrow her phone--she thought my sister's behavior was strange, and she thought that the reason it was that way was because my sister didn't have her phone, which my mother revealed she believes is a kind of sedative for her, or normalizes her behavior.

*0634pm - Asked sister Nilajah if she needed her phone back 'to use right now,' and she said no. Mother was a witness. Mother had boasted about abusing 302 mental-health-enforcement edict to repeatedly have my sister interned in a mental hospitable for minor behavorial hiccups, and for having me arrested in my home by the Philadelphia Police Department, handcuffed in bedtime clothes and forced, as well, to stay a mental hospital every time I 'every time I get angry and argue.'

I'm making this public in solidarity with all other victims of this treatment. These will continue to be living documents, so feel free to submit information, questions, or stories about this form of abuse. King Ball Media still has books available online to purchase, and I'm still anticipating the release of forthcoming sequential art books and books on art and art-writing in general. BTW, I'm not voting this year either. I've already explained why.

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There's a lot of music being posted online by musicians. 320, 000, 000 tracks are available on Soundcloud, a website created in 2011. I make visual art. That's the main I do, even though I have tinkered with freeware beat creators in the past. I have never published music before. I probably never will. I've published a few books, some black sci-fi illustration (which is my focus), and a few articles on politics and fine art.

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Please visit Penns Landing as soon as you can, especially with this weather, especially after dark when it's still warm and not crowded.

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