k-1021

[k-1021]

oh what?? it's been a year since i updated this???? i mean. i guess i dont need to since like. idk if anyone ever stopped by in the first place. i was half using this as a cool visual to look at my little words myself but like i have personal software to do that on ^_^; no need to do it twice.

maybe i'll come back to update this one day. i have lots i can share now. surprisingly making this blog was helpful since i went from maybe 2 poems a year to quiiiite a few in just 2 years! neat! like, i wanted to make more just to keep it from looking so empty and it turned out to be enough encouragement. also! i do think i got better!!! maybe not normal standards but i do enjoy what i make now much more. i still like what ive wrote before though. my favorite continues to be that first one i uploaded {no more}.dlt my beloved <3

i needed a silly little hobby that involved writing i think, im just so bad at putting words down. idk what im thinking or wanting half the time it sucks pretty bad and even worse is not being able to say what i wanna say when i do know what im thinking. ive gotten better at this but no where near the level i need to get around without major consequences, but like, i'll take what i can get. thanks to this hobby i've gotten access to a handful of resources that help me learn or just help me get unstuck in my day to day. (one look thesaurus has been a real life saver) nothing crazy life changing but certainly helpful! thank you poetry!!

I started this blog while having the worse time of my life and in all honesty while getting 0 interaction i can say i am happy to have made it i'm not updating anymore but im still having the fun and satisfaction of writing. ive been paying close attention to how lyrics work lately and thats been an interesting play to my poems. maybe i'll be confident enough to actually make a song WITH LYRICS. that would go craaazyyyy

anyways uh. if like anyone wants to see more of these from me u can send an ask! which! i just realized i never opened :P oops! otherwise... uhhhhhhhhh im on my main? (kinda. but thats another thing) i was gonna regularly make more kuki_1021.dlt here but like. i hate private journaling aint no way i was keeping up public journaling. thats what my main is for anyways (not that i do it much there either) ANYWAYS idk why im making a closing statement on this account tbh but it felt important to me =w=)b

perhaps the next step is making an private (as private as a tumblr account can be) diary account. id feel weird if i like told people about it though. so i dont think id even make it an unannounced link on my main's bio. i could make it my main but then id be like EVERYONE UNFOLLOW ME NOW asldfkjgdhfkljas;fk

anyways (x2!) if the poetry account gets me to make more poetry off account then perhaps yelling to the tumblr void will help me journal for real WHICH IS IMPORTANT TO DO and its actually so very triggering for me but i gotta get better at these things

...ok let me not start to make this the journal blog sooooo BYE BYE 4 NOW

[k-1021]

....dlt

.....?

who

who is there

who are you

what are you?

am i......

lost?

it's dark in here...

[k-1021]

※.dlt

you can't rely on everyone for everything.

"but what do i do?"

think. think. think.

"none of these solutions are the answer..."

you can't give up.

you must solve this problem on your own.

"i am doing my best."

try again and again and again.

"what do i do"

"what can i do"

"nothing"

don't give up. think. think. think...

"but im tired. and time is up"

your chance has escaped.

but maybe-

"what can i do when i am me?"

"i said it before and i will say it again,"

"nothing"

[k-1021]

disillusion_repair.dlt

I can't see the world I was meant to be waking from slumber with purpose in mind the hands of god; a mother's embrace lies my destiny upon it's place blinded by desire plagued by death truly the one with power holds the world in it's hands?

vibrant wavelengths roaring seas rushing skies pouring leaves this world belongs to me

I can see!

I can't see the world I was meant to be waking from slumber with purpose in mind a wish for freedom; a life of my own a world I can see mine alone

the world I see was not meant for me but it is here it is alive and it belongs to me

[k-1021]

kuki_1021.dlt

I love art. It is essential to life, living and most importantly— Understanding. Art is a gateway to the lives and experiences of people; things I would never understand on my own. The North Star of Affinity. With art I am able to connect with others, communicate and share a peace of unity within the chaos of relationships. Sometimes it is my only chance see and feel words spoken... in an otherwise confusing twist of meaning and intent. I love art. The act of looking in and walking to the other side. To have that experience to see and to be seen by someone. It is scary, and yet somehow, I find myself wanting to do it over and over again. Hungry for the knowledge given to me and it's taste, starving for more. I love art. Selfishly As everyday I crave more, more And more... I want to see it. I want to feel it. I want to touch it. I want to follow it to the ends of the universe and see what I find. I want to use it; art is a tool. A compass I can read to see the things I wouldn't normally perceive. I love art. ver. 24.5.5

[k-1021]

ticktock.dlt

"When will life begin? I want to live. I want to live."

...

a life yet begun has already started

waiting for a day to feel accomplished

a fool's dream awaits so easily?

stop wasting stop dreaming

the clock ticks on through life and living

[k-1021]

ripped^shreds.dlt

glass broken shattered across their heart a glint in the past an endless reflection of green

you watch them bleed liquid crimson drawing cracks with every beat of life until the very last

"I wish to..."

careful you reach now a shard in hand

"I wish to help."

broken glass is hard to fix

it will take time to stop the pain of this bleeding heart

[k-1021]

kuki_1021.dlt

There are people who understand their inner self to an intimate level. They explore themselves and what it means to be alive. It's amazing! And in a way it's art. To create a vision of yourself that feels solid and complete. Like a drawing you feel proud of even if you don't think it's very good. I thought I could do the same but...it's never simple with me. What do I look like on the inside? Who am I? For me its dark. It a void. One so full of wonderful things I may never reach or even see. Why should I let that stop me? Even a glimpse of what's there is enough for me to keep trying, searching, understanding what's underneath. And seeing others, whether a friend or a stranger, find themselves and learn to hold themself so dearly... I would like to try. Sometimes I look inside, the void of my inner self pops and bubbles, allowing me to see something I don't like. It's scary! And I hate that! But it's still a part of me that I couldn't see before and in the end, I feel grateful for catching that glimpse. All I want is to understand. That question I've asked over and over since before I can remember. Who am I? I want to know...even if...I never truly find out. ver. 24.4.7

[k-1021]

yellow.dlt

yellow a color of warmth; happiness.

bright and sunny fun and delightful

yellow is a color that can sooth a soul yellow is a color that can warn a soul

yellow a color of alarm; blinding.

intense and sour craven and odd

yellow is a color that can represent all it has two sides of many it has love it has envy

a color that is true complex and beautiful

yellow a color of us; spirit.

[k-1021]

☂ .dlt

falling from the hands of beauty that umbrella kept spinning through autumn winds aglow

dancing with the darkened droplets praying for a place to land for a place to go

fly far away from shallows that call ashore

float to the heavens and fall down below

that umbrella kept on spinning unsure of its destination too bothered to know

[k-1021]

look.dlt

it looked at him it looked at him

"look at you" it said "look how far you've reached"

it cried it cried

"look at you" it weeped "look at the love you bring"

it smiled it smiled

"look at you..."

"look at you" it whispered "look how beautiful you've become"

[k-1021]

roads.dlt

a boy a girl sometimes it dreamed a prince? a princess? it couldn’t decide it seemed "who am I?" "who will I be?" a split in the road the right path can't be seen "which one do I pick?" "which one shall I be?"

...

...

That is not how this works.

...

...

Your life is not for any predetermined route to decide. You forge your own path. It twists, it turns, it falls, and it climbs. That path is unique and made just for you—by you. You may think the roads up ahead are the ones you were meant to take, but that is not true.

You are your road. Wherever you walk is your story told.

[k-1021]

flower.dlt

a flower. too small to reach falling leaves filled with love.

with patience, there will be no need

love will fall on you.

[k-1021]

it-never-ends.dlt

trapped in his mind stuck on repeat his brain always told him he may never sleep

"I am tired," he weeped again.

wriggling fizzling a feeling; goopy red

will this torture truly ever end?

trapped in his mind stuck on repeat his brain always says,

"you may never sleep."

[k-1021]

//why//why//why//why//why//.dlt

Why...

Why can't I communicate?

A normal ability A natural ability

But I am different.

Relying on others to speak //for// me Relying on others to speak //to// me

It's a simple task I frequently fail Again And again

I...

I want to communicate.

It scares me It haunts me

And I am different.

Difficult to understand //me// Difficult to understand //you//

It's a simple task I tell myself Again And again

𝐒𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐲?

Why can't I communicate?

[k-1021]

freewill.dlt

He stared at me with sorrow. "Are we to continue forever in silence? Skies hollow; waters shallow?"

I couldn't help the grim smile. "Do we have a choice?"

[k-1021]

not...mine.dlt

Trapped in a soul that is not mine Thoughts forbidden Hidden

Who do you really want to be A liar? Surely not

Who do you truly think you are Alone? Surely not

Scrambled Thoughts unraveled Trapped in a soul that is not mine