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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 27 days
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Oh, wonderful.
#šŸ¤£šŸƒ
My gender is ME FALLING OUT OF A CHAIR!
And yes, that is the context, I did indeed laugh so hard I fell out of a chair while texting, and then proceeded to tell my friend what just happened!
ur first and last recent emojis are ur gender now. mine is šŸ…±šŸ‘Øā€ā¤ā€šŸ’‹ā€šŸ‘Ø
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 4 months
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Part 2! Roots: Stalks wasnā€™t inspired by any clothing trends, but rather my 2 biggest wants in Skyrim: more lycanthrope forms that make sense, and a way to save the entire Dark Brotherhoodā€¦ok, make that 3, and to romance Veezara.
Texture: Stalks will love anything that is soft and or silky and smooth. Itā€™s why she takes such a liking to both her assassins armor sets, both are comfortable and flexible.
Wardrobe: Her wardrobe itself is decently big. She just doesnā€™t wear most of it save for special occasions. She can afford just about anything she wants, the contract on the Emperor set her, and the rest of the Dark Brotherhood up for life. And as for mending clothing, thatā€™s Gabriellaā€™s thing.
Bling: She doesnā€™t wear any jewelry, except for a traditional Argonian wedding band that Veezara will eventually gift her after the birth of their 3 hatchlingsā€¦assassins canā€™t really get married in public soooā€¦but the ring is still sentimental.
Hair: Stalks, being an Argonian, has no hair, but does have head feathers. She likes to keep them long, and sometimes thread beads on them.
Makeup: Makeup, not really. War paint? Yes. She doesnā€™t wear it very often, only when she needs to hide her white scales on her face long enough to get something done. Though, more often than not, itā€™s not necessary, as she either has her face mask in her regular assassins armor, or the skull mask in her Shadowscale armor.
Favorite: She loves her Shadowscale armor, and she wears it to anything big or important. She doesnā€™t wear it all the time because then it would get predictable.
Change: She has not drastically changed her appearance onceā€¦well, not clothing wise. She -was- gifted a pair of dragon wings by divine intervention from Akatosh himself that are present in both her regular form AND her lycanthrope form, other than that no.
Alternate: Thatā€™s a tough oneā€¦well, she is fantasy, so I guess modern would be the best way to goā€¦interesting concept though, Argonians in modern times. Mmmā€¦I can kind of see her wearing something close to Black Widowā€™s outfit from Marvel? Thatā€™s the best I can come up with at the moment. And that was Stalks-In-Shadows turn!
oc asks: character design edition
FACE & FEATURES
glance: At first glance, what stands out most about your OC's appearance? What's their distinguishing feature?
face: Describe your OC's face. What's their smile like? Are their orbs cerulean? What would someone notice first when looking at them?
stature: What's your OC's body type? How tall are they? Do they wear clothing to accentuate their look or do they try to mask it?
motion: How does your OC move? How does their clothing help or hinder their range of motion? Are they flexible, coordinated, clumsy?
stillness: How does your OC act while still? Are they fidgety? Do they have any common gestures or tics? Does their clothing affect how they hold themselves while at rest?
canvas: Does your OC have any scars, piercings, tattoos, or other markings? Do they display or cover them up at all?
CUT & CLOTHES
night: What does your OC wear to sleep? Do they have a favorite pair of PJs, or are they more the birthday suit type?
day: What does your OC wear on a normal day? Why do they default to those clothes? Do they wear similar things, or do they change it up?
formal: What's your OC's formal look? Do they like dressing up? Do they have different looks for different occasions?
informal: What's your OC's lazy-day look? How do they like to dress when they're winding down?
outerwear: What's your OC's outerwear situation? Jacket, sweater, cloak? What sort of weather do they deal with most and how do they protect themselves?
footwear: What does your OC wear on their feet?
road: What does your OC wear while traveling? Do they have high-quality equipment, or are they making do? What does their gear look like?
armor: What kind of armor does your OC wear? Is it well kept? Bonus: where does it come from? Is there a story behind it?
arms: Does your OC have any weapons? What weapons do they carry, and how do they wear them when they're not fighting?
roots: Is your OC's look inspired by any specific style of clothing or fashion trend? What are the roots and/or inspiration for their look?
texture: Does your OC favor any specific kinds of cloth or textures? Is there anything they can't wear or don't like? What sort of fabrics do they prefer?
wardrobe: How big is your character's wardrobe? Do they wear things threadbare, or can they afford new clothes often? Are they any good at mending and repairing their own clothing?
ACCESSORIES & ACCENTS
bling: What jewelry does your OC wear? Does it have any meaning?
hair: How does your OC wear their hair? Does it have some kind of meaning?
makeup: Does your OC wear makeup? How often? What kind? Why do they wear makeup, and do they like it?
favorite: Does your OC have a favorite article of clothing or accessory? What is it? What's the meaning behind it? Do they wear it all the time or do they wear it sparingly to keep it safe?
change: Has your OC ever drastically changed their appearance? Significant haircuts, big tattoos, complete wardrobe swap, etc? Why? How do they feel about the change?
alternate: What would your OC's alternate universe look be? If they're a fantasy character, what's their modern look? If they're sci-fi, what's their fantasy look? What AU would you want to see your OC in, and how would they dress themself? Bonus: Prompt an AU!
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 4 months
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Alright, SkullFace has had his turn, now itā€™s time for Stalks-In-Shadows, my Skyrim OC, to have hers. Here we go!
Glance: What stands out most? Easy, her unique albino scales. But sheā€™s not a true albino, as her eyes arenā€™t that saturated red. Her scales have an almost fluorite like sheen over them. Picture oil when it mingles into water, the colors you can make out. Itā€™s kind of like that, except instead of pink, orange, purples and greens up against a clear backdrop, itā€™s blues, purples, and greens against a white backdrop.
Face: Her smile is pure, despite her profession as an assassin. Her eyes are a striking amethyst color. The first thing pretty much anyone first notices is the color of her scales though, nonetheless. Stature: She has an hourglass figure, but still manages to have noticeable muscle mass. Sheā€™s 7ā€™1, which is pretty average for a female Argonian. Sheā€™s still proud sheā€™s the tallest girl in the Sanctuary. And while she does wear clothing that accentuates this, sheā€™s not doing it for that purpose. Theyā€™re her ā€œwork clothesā€. (Also known as he assassins armor)
Motion: Stalks moves with a stride in her step almost always. Her clothing, is the standard Dark Brotherhood assassins armor, which is built with flexibility and durability in mind. She is very coordinated and flexible. Flexible for an Argonian is impressive since they have scales instead of skin.
Stillness: When sheā€™s still, sheā€™s usually meditating, legs crossed and hands resting on her knees with her eyes shut. Sheā€™s not very ā€œfidgetyā€ At least not in this context. She DOES, however, pace when sheā€™s nervous and awaiting something. The rattle at the end of her tail also tends to shake when sheā€™s anxious.
Canvas: Stalks has many scars, however theyā€™re all in the same place. Her back. Whip scars. She was captured by the Thalmor for a weeks time and flogged while they were trying to get her to reveal where the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary was. However she did not reveal the location and was rescued by Veezara and Gabriella. The Thalmor outpost was wiped out, both information and witness wise. She has many tattoos. On one arm, she has two twin snakes crisscrossing up to her wrist. The meaning behind it is unknown. She has a Hist Tree tattoo on her left shoulder. On her right shoulder is a tattoo of a stag, but not just any stag, itā€™s meant to visualize the visage of Hircine, Daedric Lord of The Hunt, symbolizing her connection with him, seeing as she is a pure-blooded lycanthrope. And on her back, between her shoulder blades, is the image of a skull. On top of said skull is a handprint, painted in such a way, that it looks like a bloody hand was holding the front of the skull. Symbolizing her connection to the Dark Brotherhood. She doesnā€™t hide any part of her deliberately.
Night: If Stalks can help it, sheā€™d prefer to sleep naked. Sheā€™s an Argonian, and a decent amount of which like to sleep underwater, and also prefer to swim naked, as itā€™s just how they are more often than not in Black Marsh. Little to no clothing, because it hinders their swimming efficiency. If she canā€™t sleep underwater and naked, sheā€™ll typically just wear a robe of some kind and call it a night.
Day: Define ā€œnormal dayā€. A normal day typically involves a contract for someone new to be sent to the Void. On those days, if itā€™s a contract for her, sheā€™ll default to her assassins armor. If itā€™s one of those days where she hands out contracts, as her role as the Listener, and more recently, a mother, sheā€™ll wear a black tunic and pants. She defaults to those clothes because itā€™s just easier.
Formal: Let me be clear. Stalks DOESNā€™T like to make herself seen IN PUBLIC. Her scales are an easy way to be recognized right off the bat if she gets in trouble. However, when sheā€™s getting to show off and represent the Dark Brotherhoodā€¦she goes big. She doesnā€™t wear the regular armor, no no no, she wears an ancient set of Shadowscale armor, gifted to her from a Shadowscale by the name of Meenaja-Kaj. She was Veezara and Stalks predecessor in the Brotherhood in Skyrimā€¦before she went missing, that is. Stalks found her remains after seeing Olava The Feeble in Whiterun for a readingā€¦and in turn, was gifted the armor, as well as put her long dead Dark-Hist-Sister to rest properly. The armor itself is very intimidating and it has what seems to be a skull mask in the shape of an Argonian skull. However, itā€™s not, itā€™s the work of bone-mage crafting. Much like regular mage-crafting, except with bone. It can be shaped and sculpted and tempered as any other metal would. However, bone-mage crafting is practically unheard of in Tamrielā€¦necromancy and all that, it would automatically be associated with bone-mage crafting immediately even though thatā€™s not the case. Point is, when Stalks goes after a high level target, or needs to remind the public that the Dark Brotherhood is very much back? Thatā€™s her defaultā€¦and by Sithis she LOVES IT. Informal: Lazy day look? No such thing. Never a lazy day for an assassin unless theyā€™re sickā€¦or in Stalks case, a new mother. Consult ā€œDayā€ for what she wears on the days sheā€™s not on a contract, and thatā€™s pretty much the same.
Outerwear: That, is a tough one. The new Sanctuary itself is up in Dawnstar, which is some form of brisk all year round, and only gets bearable to not wear a cloak of some kind in the summer. So when sheā€™s in the colder parts of Skyrim, sheā€™ll have a cloak alongside her regular assassins armor, which is insulated. It can handle intense heat and freezing cold, and itā€™ll still take a bit for the user to feel any of it. But when sheā€™s in Winterhold? Screw the armor, whereā€™s her fur coat.
Footwear: An interesting one, to say the least! See, most modern day Argonians have humanoid feet in shape, save for a small amount of webbing between each toe. Stalks, however, is one of the few remaining Argonians of the modern era that was born with an older hereditary difference in genetics make up when it came to her feet. Theyā€™re more raptor shaped. I kid you not, this isnā€™t a joke. She has two giant toe claws as well. As a result, she doesnā€™t typically wear any form of shoe, however she does use wrappings and leather strips to protect her feet from different terrains. And, while you might think they hinder her, they really donā€™t. Those 2 sharp toe claws? Yeah, watch out if she kicks you with those in the stomach, your innards may just become your outards.
Road: Stalks typically wears her assassins armor, underneath a large brown hooded cloak. And thatā€™s if sheā€™s going in her regular form. In her werebeast form, she can cover ground much more quickly, and not worry about any of her armor coming loose. Special enchantment that is a story for another time.
Armor: Her default armor is the regular Dark Brotherhood armor. She makes sure to keep it in good shape. And the Shadowscale armor, while it was old and dirty when she found the remains of Meenaja-Kaj, it was relatively undamaged. Arnbjorn helped her to refit and repair it, and when they were through, it was good as new. The armor was gifted to her by Meenaja beyond the grave, she sent her message to Olava, and had Stalks find it. A gift, from one Shadowscale to another.
Arms: Stalks has many weapons in her arsenal, though she rarely needs to use or bring them all. She has the Blade of Woe, a unique daedric dagger gifted to her by Astrid, which is usually in a sheath on her hip. She has a bow she named Zephyr, a dwarven metal bow that fires faster than most in terms of looseness. She also has her own body as a weapon. She can spit acid, as well as use her claws to her advantage. And thatā€™s just if she doesnā€™t transform into her lycanthrope form. If she does? Gods help you, youā€™re screwed.
Part 1!
oc asks: character design edition
FACE & FEATURES
glance: At first glance, what stands out most about your OC's appearance? What's their distinguishing feature?
face: Describe your OC's face. What's their smile like? Are their orbs cerulean? What would someone notice first when looking at them?
stature: What's your OC's body type? How tall are they? Do they wear clothing to accentuate their look or do they try to mask it?
motion: How does your OC move? How does their clothing help or hinder their range of motion? Are they flexible, coordinated, clumsy?
stillness: How does your OC act while still? Are they fidgety? Do they have any common gestures or tics? Does their clothing affect how they hold themselves while at rest?
canvas: Does your OC have any scars, piercings, tattoos, or other markings? Do they display or cover them up at all?
CUT & CLOTHES
night: What does your OC wear to sleep? Do they have a favorite pair of PJs, or are they more the birthday suit type?
day: What does your OC wear on a normal day? Why do they default to those clothes? Do they wear similar things, or do they change it up?
formal: What's your OC's formal look? Do they like dressing up? Do they have different looks for different occasions?
informal: What's your OC's lazy-day look? How do they like to dress when they're winding down?
outerwear: What's your OC's outerwear situation? Jacket, sweater, cloak? What sort of weather do they deal with most and how do they protect themselves?
footwear: What does your OC wear on their feet?
road: What does your OC wear while traveling? Do they have high-quality equipment, or are they making do? What does their gear look like?
armor: What kind of armor does your OC wear? Is it well kept? Bonus: where does it come from? Is there a story behind it?
arms: Does your OC have any weapons? What weapons do they carry, and how do they wear them when they're not fighting?
roots: Is your OC's look inspired by any specific style of clothing or fashion trend? What are the roots and/or inspiration for their look?
texture: Does your OC favor any specific kinds of cloth or textures? Is there anything they can't wear or don't like? What sort of fabrics do they prefer?
wardrobe: How big is your character's wardrobe? Do they wear things threadbare, or can they afford new clothes often? Are they any good at mending and repairing their own clothing?
ACCESSORIES & ACCENTS
bling: What jewelry does your OC wear? Does it have any meaning?
hair: How does your OC wear their hair? Does it have some kind of meaning?
makeup: Does your OC wear makeup? How often? What kind? Why do they wear makeup, and do they like it?
favorite: Does your OC have a favorite article of clothing or accessory? What is it? What's the meaning behind it? Do they wear it all the time or do they wear it sparingly to keep it safe?
change: Has your OC ever drastically changed their appearance? Significant haircuts, big tattoos, complete wardrobe swap, etc? Why? How do they feel about the change?
alternate: What would your OC's alternate universe look be? If they're a fantasy character, what's their modern look? If they're sci-fi, what's their fantasy look? What AU would you want to see your OC in, and how would they dress themself? Bonus: Prompt an AU!
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 4 months
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Alright people, you know the drill. Found another ā€œoc asksā€ post, so you know I gotta include SkullFace and Stalks-In-Shadows. Iā€™ll be doing SkullFace first, as most of the questions wonā€™t be able to apply to as, he is my Warrior Cats oc. I think that speaks for itself.
Glance: For SkullFace, a LOT stands out. His pelt color, patterns and markings are not at all what you would expect from a cat. Heā€™s a mostly black cat, however has white stripes on ONLY his legs. His tail starts out dark, and gradually fades into a light gray. That color is also connected to the singular stripe running along the length of his spine, which is a light gray. However, his distinguishing feature is, without a doubt, his white mask marking on his face. The fur over his eyelids is black, so whenever he blinks, all you see is the striking imagery of a skull staring back at you. His namesake. Face: As aforementioned, SkullFace has a white skull mask marking with black eyelids. He has protruding fangs, which isnā€™t too uncommon for a lot of clan cats. He rarely smiles, at least, rarely genuinely. When he does, those who care about him are reminded that they should never judge a cat by their pelt. His eyes are emerald green, however he is blind in one, due to a fight with a Rogue when he was younger, a claw scar being left across his right eye, and blinding it. The first thing a cat notices when looking at SkullFace is how intimidating he looks. Stature: SkullFace is slim but tall and strong. At least, talk in terms of ThunderClan cats. Motion: SkullFace almost habitually moves entirely silently. Heā€™s used to having a backwards sleeping schedule, sleeping in the day and hunting at night to avoid conflicts with other moreā€¦traditional clan cats who hate him for rumors of who his biological parents are. As such, heā€™s adapted to the night time and itā€™s dangers, be it Foxes, Badgers, Owls or more. He only gets up in the day if thereā€™s a meeting. Heā€™s lost count of the amount of times a cat has startled from turning and suddenly seeing him sitting a few feet away, when they didnā€™t even hear him. He is coordinated and flexible. Stillness: SkullFace isnā€™t very fidgety, however if he is made to be for long periods of time, his tail is most likely to flick from time to time. He has one tic, which is kneading the ground beneath him with his claws. Canvas: His markings are always on display at all times. He also has a ā€œsockā€ marking on his front right paw. Itā€™s more of a ā€œgloveā€ as it doesnā€™t go the entire length of that leg, just his paw, which instead of black, is light grey. He wishes he didnā€™t have it, as it is the source of most grief he is given in the clan.
Alright, as I said, SkullFace is going first because most of these questions donā€™t apply to him. Stalks-In-Shadows is up next!
oc asks: character design edition
FACE & FEATURES
glance: At first glance, what stands out most about your OC's appearance? What's their distinguishing feature?
face: Describe your OC's face. What's their smile like? Are their orbs cerulean? What would someone notice first when looking at them?
stature: What's your OC's body type? How tall are they? Do they wear clothing to accentuate their look or do they try to mask it?
motion: How does your OC move? How does their clothing help or hinder their range of motion? Are they flexible, coordinated, clumsy?
stillness: How does your OC act while still? Are they fidgety? Do they have any common gestures or tics? Does their clothing affect how they hold themselves while at rest?
canvas: Does your OC have any scars, piercings, tattoos, or other markings? Do they display or cover them up at all?
CUT & CLOTHES
night: What does your OC wear to sleep? Do they have a favorite pair of PJs, or are they more the birthday suit type?
day: What does your OC wear on a normal day? Why do they default to those clothes? Do they wear similar things, or do they change it up?
formal: What's your OC's formal look? Do they like dressing up? Do they have different looks for different occasions?
informal: What's your OC's lazy-day look? How do they like to dress when they're winding down?
outerwear: What's your OC's outerwear situation? Jacket, sweater, cloak? What sort of weather do they deal with most and how do they protect themselves?
footwear: What does your OC wear on their feet?
road: What does your OC wear while traveling? Do they have high-quality equipment, or are they making do? What does their gear look like?
armor: What kind of armor does your OC wear? Is it well kept? Bonus: where does it come from? Is there a story behind it?
arms: Does your OC have any weapons? What weapons do they carry, and how do they wear them when they're not fighting?
roots: Is your OC's look inspired by any specific style of clothing or fashion trend? What are the roots and/or inspiration for their look?
texture: Does your OC favor any specific kinds of cloth or textures? Is there anything they can't wear or don't like? What sort of fabrics do they prefer?
wardrobe: How big is your character's wardrobe? Do they wear things threadbare, or can they afford new clothes often? Are they any good at mending and repairing their own clothing?
ACCESSORIES & ACCENTS
bling: What jewelry does your OC wear? Does it have any meaning?
hair: How does your OC wear their hair? Does it have some kind of meaning?
makeup: Does your OC wear makeup? How often? What kind? Why do they wear makeup, and do they like it?
favorite: Does your OC have a favorite article of clothing or accessory? What is it? What's the meaning behind it? Do they wear it all the time or do they wear it sparingly to keep it safe?
change: Has your OC ever drastically changed their appearance? Significant haircuts, big tattoos, complete wardrobe swap, etc? Why? How do they feel about the change?
alternate: What would your OC's alternate universe look be? If they're a fantasy character, what's their modern look? If they're sci-fi, what's their fantasy look? What AU would you want to see your OC in, and how would they dress themself? Bonus: Prompt an AU!
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 4 months
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Her tail rattled at that for a moment, before she stopped it, letting out a huff.
ā€œIā€™m not too sure I believe thatā€¦but by all means, prove me wrong for the first time in centuries when it comes to what other sinners want from meā€¦Iā€™m kind of hard to miss, even in this low lightā€¦over here. I donā€™t know how you missed the albino reptile sinner sitting with her back against the front door like some kidā€¦ā€
She was admittedly kind of hard to miss.
She had somewhat given up on any chance of hiding from something like this at this point, sighing and leaning her back against the front door of the hotel and sinking down to a sitting position, her knees brought up and resting her arms on top of them, her tail resting at her side.
She DID know that it was an expressionā€¦the muttering came from the fact that he had heard herā€¦but it WAS still surprising. Sheā€™d been called plenty of things when sheā€™d been spotted by a random group of thugs and creeps from time to timeā€¦ā€prettyā€ was not one of them. In any way, shape, or form of the sense.
She let out a defeated sigh before responding.
ā€œWell, go aheadā€¦wake up the Princess of Hell and have me questioned orā€¦whatever sheā€™ll want to do or ask me.ā€
She muttered.
ā€œNot like Iā€™ve just been trying for the entirety of my centuries of my afterlife to avoid being in the spotlightā€¦ā€
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 4 months
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She had somewhat given up on any chance of hiding from something like this at this point, sighing and leaning her back against the front door of the hotel and sinking down to a sitting position, her knees brought up and resting her arms on top of them, her tail resting at her side.
She DID know that it was an expressionā€¦the muttering came from the fact that he had heard herā€¦but it WAS still surprising. Sheā€™d been called plenty of things when sheā€™d been spotted by a random group of thugs and creeps from time to timeā€¦ā€prettyā€ was not one of them. In any way, shape, or form of the sense.
She let out a defeated sigh before responding.
ā€œWell, go aheadā€¦wake up the Princess of Hell and have me questioned orā€¦whatever sheā€™ll want to do or ask me.ā€
She muttered.
ā€œNot like Iā€™ve just been trying for the entirety of my centuries of my afterlife to avoid being in the spotlightā€¦ā€
She hadnā€™t realized sheā€™d said that out loud, so of course she ended up smacking herself in the head- stupid! Afterwards, she took a deep breath and tried, emphasis on ā€˜triedā€™ to turn herself invisible like sheā€™d learnedā€¦unfortunately, sheā€™d also learned the hard way that the ability was fucking useless if she felt stressed or cornered. So the best she got was her scales flickering in an attempt to darken to match the low light and her surroundings, before they immediately turned back to their blinding bright white colorā€¦the worst night to be albino in her entire afterlife.
ā€Knew I should have broken the habit of talking to myself while it was still newā€¦ā€
Wait a second. ā€˜Prettyā€™?
Her tail rattled nervously below her before she stomped on it to make the noise stop, stifling the yelp she wanted to let outā€¦didnā€™t mean to stomp that hardā€¦owā€¦
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 4 months
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She hadnā€™t realized sheā€™d said that out loud, so of course she ended up smacking herself in the head- stupid! Afterwards, she took a deep breath and tried, emphasis on ā€˜triedā€™ to turn herself invisible like sheā€™d learnedā€¦unfortunately, sheā€™d also learned the hard way that the ability was fucking useless if she felt stressed or cornered. So the best she got was her scales flickering in an attempt to darken to match the low light and her surroundings, before they immediately turned back to their blinding bright white colorā€¦the worst night to be albino in her entire afterlife.
ā€Knew I should have broken the habit of talking to myself while it was still newā€¦ā€
Wait a second. ā€˜Prettyā€™?
Her tail rattled nervously below her before she stomped on it to make the noise stop, stifling the yelp she wanted to let outā€¦didnā€™t mean to stomp that hardā€¦owā€¦
Sheā€™d been inside the hotel a couple of times. She knew Alastor, though not by much aside from what sheā€™s heard, and what she saw after the defeat of the Exterminator angelsā€¦one could say she was a fan, but in reality, she saw someone to relate to, as strange as it might seem. Sheā€™d gotten friendly enough with Alastor that he occasionally left the front door to the hotel unlocked some nights in case she got into a bit of trouble. And, as usual, trouble usually found her, though she never looked for it. So when she rounded the corner to the hotel and dashed up the steps to the new hotel, slipping in as quickly and quietly as she could, the last thing she expected while she had her back pressed against the door was to hear a voice that WASNā€™T Alastorā€¦
ā€œShit- donā€™t know that voice, think Stalks, think!ā€
She had said that out loud, in a hushed tone. Sheā€™d been alone in Hell longer than even Zestial had been, so she started talking to herself, sue her!
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 4 months
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Sheā€™d been inside the hotel a couple of times. She knew Alastor, though not by much aside from what sheā€™s heard, and what she saw after the defeat of the Exterminator angelsā€¦one could say she was a fan, but in reality, she saw someone to relate to, as strange as it might seem. Sheā€™d gotten friendly enough with Alastor that he occasionally left the front door to the hotel unlocked some nights in case she got into a bit of trouble. And, as usual, trouble usually found her, though she never looked for it. So when she rounded the corner to the hotel and dashed up the steps to the new hotel, slipping in as quickly and quietly as she could, the last thing she expected while she had her back pressed against the door was to hear a voice that WASNā€™T Alastorā€¦
ā€œShit- donā€™t know that voice, think Stalks, think!ā€
She had said that out loud, in a hushed tone. Sheā€™d been alone in Hell longer than even Zestial had been, so she started talking to herself, sue her!
Starter for @kaelyn-stocktonmil
ā™„ļøā™ ļøā™¦ļøā™£ļø šŸ‚± ā•° ā”€ā”‰ā”€Ā”! ā€¢ !Ā”ā”€ā”‰ā”€ ā•Æ šŸ‚± ā™£ļøā™¦ļøā™ ļøā™„ļø
It was a late night. ššˆš“š‚š‡ šš‹š€š‚šŠ outside. The night was a quiet one. Not a soul was awake in the hotel. Save for Husk and possibly źź’’źźŒ—ź“„ź‚¦ź‹Ŗ
ā Fucknā€™ asshole. Keepn me up till the crack a dawn. Aint nobody fucknā€™ her- āž
š“š‡š„ šƒšŽšŽš‘ š‚š‘š„š€šŠš„šƒ. It was almost Ė¢į“µį“øį“±į“ŗįµ€ if Husk hadnā€™t had Ģ¶TĢ¶Ģ¶HĢ¶Ģ¶OĢ¶Ģ¶SĢ¶Ģ¶EĢ¶ Ģ¶DĢ¶Ģ¶AĢ¶Ģ¶MĢ¶Ģ¶NĢ¶ Ģ¶CĢ¶Ģ¶AĢ¶Ģ¶TĢ¶ Ģ¶EĢ¶Ģ¶AĢ¶Ģ¶RĢ¶Ģ¶SĢ¶ there was no way he couldā€™ve caught it.
ā Who the fuck is there? āž
a single tooth was revealed under a subtle š’šš€š‘š‹š„
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 5 months
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I swear. Everyday- I'm finding more and more art of Sun and Moon that just gets better and better- and more and more detailed...genuine question- do any of you think Scott had ANY IDEA just how much these two would become absolutely adored by the FNAF community? Like, for two characters we only see for a short amount of moments in Security Breach, and a decent amount more in Ruin- do any of you think Scott knew what he was doing with their designs and personality creation? I've seen more fanart of these two- than ANY OF THE OTHERS. In AU's, in the original game concept, in random ideas like this- because I don't think he knew what he was in for because HOLY HECK! BELOVED. CHARACTERS. Eclipse too, don't get me started because I will make this post a lot longer. LOVE the art- just felt like posting this
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Finished the moon version!!
I might make more of these goobs
(The sun version has already been posted!!)
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 5 months
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Sheā€™ll be entirely honest, thank Lucifer he shut her up. Lovely little reset effect that had. Taking a deep breath, she relaxed significantly.
ā€œIā€¦well, getting introductions properly out of the way would probably be smartā€¦and, I wouldnā€™t be surprised if you were confused as to why my name is what it isā€¦my name when I was living was ā€œStalks-In-Shadowsā€ā€¦a part of me will uhā€¦never truly forget that name as it was a key part of who I wasā€¦ā€
She clears her throat. Donā€™t get on a tangent again, damn it.
ā€œBut, as of being in Hell, I decided to start going by Pearl toā€¦avoid any judgment or trouble if someone decided they thought I was troubleā€¦ ā€˜Pearlā€™ isā€¦well, something an old friend used to call me as a nickname. Seemed fitting, seeing as I have not found them down here, and most likely will never see them him againā€¦ā€
She shakes her head. Donā€™t linger on the past, focus on the now. For a moment she reaches a hand out upon seeing Alastor hold his chest for a moment, another coughing fit coming on for a split second, before she remembers that he is not fond of any sort of touch, only really allowing Charlie, decisively using the hand she had reached out to hold her own opposite arm. She still looks concerned about him.
ā€Are you alright, though? Thatā€™s a pretty nasty coughā€¦ā€
The strange "reptilian" sinner makes her way through the hotel quietly, it's daytime and she doesn't want to talk to Charlie, nor has she introduced herself properly yet. She simply wishes to check on Alastor, having heard through the grape vine that he wasn't feeling well.
She goes quiet and still for a moment, turning invisible upon hearing footsteps, seeing Vaggie come down the stairs and walk right past her...she'll be honest- she's grateful that this is her sinner power, "invisibility". Or, more along the lines of an ability she had when living that carried over upon her death and arrival in Hell.
Once Vaggie passes by, she continues her way up the stairs, higher and higher until she finally reaches the top floor, and begins searching around for- ah ha. There it is. She's found a door that is different from the rest, an "On Air" neon sign outside, it's not currently lit, which she assumes means Alastor isn't busy. Well, that and the lack of screaming. She goes to open the door but hesitates. She'd never properly gotten to introduce herself to Alastor, they had simply spoken once when she saw a post regarding his music tastes, in which she was delighted to learn they shared something in common. She's not one of those people who's..."interested" in Alastor, Heavens no. She was in the same boat he was in, what was the term? "AroAce", if she remembers correctly. Older time, new terms, eh. However, she did find herself feeling lonely...not a lot of sinners from her time, and Alastor is technically from a time later than her, much later. She has adapted to survive and stay out of the spotlight of Exterminators and other violent sinners, though. And she has a decent amount of interests that she believes are aligned with Alastor's, for one, hunting. Sadistic sense of humor, likes being in control, willing to kill anyone who pisses her off, etcetera. Music was just one thing, personality? Fairly similar.
In the end, she takes a deep breath and turns the doorknob, stepping in quietly, a toe claw tapping the floor as she entered, her hooded head looking around for signs of Alastor...he's not by the fireplace and he's not at his desk...should she call for him? Calling out his name would probably find him quicker but if he's in a bad mood, she doesn't wish to intrude-
And that's around the time she hears the door shut behind her...oh, please don't let him be in a bad mood, she just wants to be pleasant...
šŸ“»As he made the door shut behind her he stared down at her, his ears pointing downward he was still sick so barely could do much in his state. His body was trying to get used to all of his powers again. Considering the deal previously being broken and all his powers restored.
ā€œTsk tsk. Showing up invited. How rude of you.ā€
He stated blatantly his smile widening his eyes narrowing down at her
ā€œYou must really have a death wish if you just come waltzing into my radio tower like this..ā€šŸŽ™ļø
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 5 months
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She gulped, pulling back her hood to better expose her reptilian face, her pearlescent scales being one of her key features alongside her amethyst colored eyes. Ok, bad start, he probably doesnā€™t remember the brief interaction. Relax, Stalks-In-Shadows, breatheā€¦
ā€Apologiesā€¦not a death wish but rather a wish to see if you were wellā€¦you probably donā€™t remember me. I was the one who commented on having similar taste in music to you, which you probably think is irrelevant, which would be entirely fairā€¦ā€
She took a deep breath. She didnā€™t come here for a deal, nor any fight or ill will, she simply wanted to see if he was alrightā€¦perhaps offer company. Granted, heā€™s the radio demon, heā€™s not exactly known for his friendliness. But heā€™s not a bastard, not by a long shot. Heā€™s polite and respectful to those who respect him and are deserving of it and who donā€™t cross any lines of his.
ā€œIā€¦never properly introduced myself, and as odd as it may seem, I simply wanted to meet you in person andā€¦letā€™s just say I heard through the grape vine that something happened and I was hoping to check in. I didnā€™t hear much details just that you were unwell. And, apologies for coming in uninvited, sir- I didnā€™t know if I could due to the sign outside not being lit, and for all I knew you could have been asleep, looking and seeing if you were awake seemed like the most logical course of action so I wouldnā€™t disturb you if you werenā€™t out in the open-ā€œ
She was rambling now. Stupid anxiety has her overthinking things again. She really just wanted to make a good impressionā€¦
The strange "reptilian" sinner makes her way through the hotel quietly, it's daytime and she doesn't want to talk to Charlie, nor has she introduced herself properly yet. She simply wishes to check on Alastor, having heard through the grape vine that he wasn't feeling well.
She goes quiet and still for a moment, turning invisible upon hearing footsteps, seeing Vaggie come down the stairs and walk right past her...she'll be honest- she's grateful that this is her sinner power, "invisibility". Or, more along the lines of an ability she had when living that carried over upon her death and arrival in Hell.
Once Vaggie passes by, she continues her way up the stairs, higher and higher until she finally reaches the top floor, and begins searching around for- ah ha. There it is. She's found a door that is different from the rest, an "On Air" neon sign outside, it's not currently lit, which she assumes means Alastor isn't busy. Well, that and the lack of screaming. She goes to open the door but hesitates. She'd never properly gotten to introduce herself to Alastor, they had simply spoken once when she saw a post regarding his music tastes, in which she was delighted to learn they shared something in common. She's not one of those people who's..."interested" in Alastor, Heavens no. She was in the same boat he was in, what was the term? "AroAce", if she remembers correctly. Older time, new terms, eh. However, she did find herself feeling lonely...not a lot of sinners from her time, and Alastor is technically from a time later than her, much later. She has adapted to survive and stay out of the spotlight of Exterminators and other violent sinners, though. And she has a decent amount of interests that she believes are aligned with Alastor's, for one, hunting. Sadistic sense of humor, likes being in control, willing to kill anyone who pisses her off, etcetera. Music was just one thing, personality? Fairly similar.
In the end, she takes a deep breath and turns the doorknob, stepping in quietly, a toe claw tapping the floor as she entered, her hooded head looking around for signs of Alastor...he's not by the fireplace and he's not at his desk...should she call for him? Calling out his name would probably find him quicker but if he's in a bad mood, she doesn't wish to intrude-
And that's around the time she hears the door shut behind her...oh, please don't let him be in a bad mood, she just wants to be pleasant...
šŸ“»As he made the door shut behind her he stared down at her, his ears pointing downward he was still sick so barely could do much in his state. His body was trying to get used to all of his powers again. Considering the deal previously being broken and all his powers restored.
ā€œTsk tsk. Showing up invited. How rude of you.ā€
He stated blatantly his smile widening his eyes narrowing down at her
ā€œYou must really have a death wish if you just come waltzing into my radio tower like this..ā€šŸŽ™ļø
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 6 months
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šŸ‰āšŖļø??? Grins, a chuckle leaving her.
ā€œOf course, not everyone is out to get a reaction out of you, though there certainly will be those peopleā€¦we are in Hell for a reason after all!ā€
A laugh leaves the reptilian-looking sinner. Genuine, despite the comment.
ā€However, I am not one of those people. I know when respect is due, and am glad to give it to those who are deserving. And you, good man, are certainly deserving.ā€
??? Chuckles softly, continuing.
ā€And, Iā€™m certainly happy to know there are others with my taste in musicā€¦not many in Hell share it. Downside to being a sinner of an ā€˜olderā€™ time I suppose. Though, I donā€™t see it as much of a downside as most would.ā€
*sees the post about Alastor's favorite song and claps* YES!
Alastor, if you would permit me, I would like to shake you hand my good man, because FINALLY, somebody has some taste in music! Charlie Chaplin has some of my favorite songs, Smile being among them.
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šŸ“»Alastor paused his eyes slightly wide before he chuckles softly.
ā€œI must agree, it has been awhile since I met someone with good taste. I suppose some of you arenā€™t as bad i originally thought..ā€šŸŽ™ļø
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 8 months
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Acceptance...No Matter How Bad It Hurts...
They say there are 5 stages of grief...Denial...Anger...Bargaining...Depression...and, of course...Acceptance...
Lately...all I've been is hurt...my best friend...Abby, that's all I'll say her name is, out of respect for her privacy...though, I suppose that sort of goes out the window with this post...but I haven't got much to lose at this point...so I don't really care if she's mad at me for typing this...anyway.
We've...not been doing well. Fyre, another friend...I thought, at least...myself and Abby...for awhile, I've felt as though we'd been competing for Abby's free time...I was the one to introduce the two, because I wanted my Xbox friend to meet my best friend...and, as I'd hoped, they hit it off. So much so...they eventually started dating. I was so happy! Happy, that both Fyre and Abby had found happiness in each other! Happy, that two of my closest friends got along with each other...and then...gradually that happiness that they had, shattered...because I still wanted time with my bff...and they spent all their time with each other...jealousy, I suppose, but I never saw Abby as anything romantically, so don't get it confused...but she was like the big sister I never had but always wanted...so, of course...I wanted her attention.
Fyre and I were already experiencing a rough patch at the time...but it only got worse from there. I don't know if she was aware she was doing it...but she was...kind of controlling. At least, towards me...over time, she seemed to become more spiteful towards me...I know, I may have done some things to upset them, reading to much into things, getting upset over things that most people would probably find insignificant...I can't help that I am the way I am...I've tried to edit my behavior, to be more satisfactory so she wouldn't be mad or upset either of them...but I'm realizing more and more that I can't, because it's just a part of how my autistic brain acts and perceives things...
Eventually, I just gave up with trying to change, trying to tell them I couldn't help it...but Fyre wouldn't listen...neither would Abby...and that cut me to the core...
One night, in an effort to be more...obedient, I reached out to Fyre, asked if maybe they felt like playing Fortnite, which I know they enjoyed playing, even though whenever I played it I would get upset because I just couldn't get better at the game...I just didn't want to be alone, so I tried to do something they wanted, since Fyre was so adamant about not liking or wanting to play anything I liked...even though friendship is a 2 way street...
I was very polite about my request...and they essentially spit in my face...saying they "weren't trying to be rude, but I don't really want anything to do with you, so could you kindly fuck off"...that was the exact quote...I never messaged them back after that. That was a month ago.
...
Wanting a shoulder to lean on, I went to the only person I knew who had always listened...even when it came to Fyre...so, I took a screenshot of what they said, and sent it to Abby...more than anything, I just wanted her to make me feel better, to understand that I was being hurt more and more by our increasing distance, and by Fyre seemingly pushing myself and Abby further apart, and it may be petty of me to believe it was Fyre, but I know some of it was myself, and I tried to be more of what they wanted, but it either wasn't enough, or my brain fought against me...
I should have known she would have enough of me eventually...she messaged me back, saying that I was essentially overreacting by getting so hurt by those words, and that she wouldn't mediate things between me and Fyre anymore, that we had to figure it out ourselves, and that if Fyre didn't want to figure it out, I had to respect that...that she wanted to be my friend, but I needed to chill out...
I never responded to her...at least, not for awhile...I didn't want to say anything that I thought would make everything worse...I mean, that's all I've been doing recently without meaning to, can you blame me for not wanting to risk doing it again?
She hasn't talked to me since...even though I've reached out, apologized for being such a burden. I haven't apologized to Fyre, because I don't even know what I've done to her...and I know she doesn't care, she just wants me to leave her alone...that much I know...
I've never felt so alone and insignificant in my life. I met Abby at a bad time in my life...and she made everything better, everything seemed brighter. Even when my own mother fought against me out of fear I would be hacked or give away dangerous information that could put me in danger...It all felt worth it, and eventually she gave up, when Abby proved she wasn't some creep on the internet, and I was given permission to talk to her...I didn't have to go behind my mothers back 24/7 just to talk to my best friend...
And now? After, what...10, maybe 12 years, I don't even know, I've lost count...everything my mother feared came true...just not in the way she thought it would...but I did end up getting hurt irreparably in the end...
For the past month of January, I was in Denial, telling myself that we'll bounce back, just like always...I was Angry, at myself for fucking everything up AGAIN...just like with my past best friends...I've only had 2 before her...I Bargained with myself by reaching out, praying for an answer...and I've been Depressed through it all, but even more-so when she never responded...we've never gone this long without talking to each other...that's how close we are- were...
And now? After my mother asked if Abby had talked or reached out to me anytime recently this morning...and I said no...she apologized...and I said "It's fine." She responded with "No, it's not." Knowing it wasn't and seeing right through my mask that I wore, so I wouldn't cry in front of her...she said she'd been through it as well, with my Godmother, who is now miles away in another state, with an asshole of a boyfriend, that she only stays with because she believes she can change him...and while they still talk now...it still hurt my mother...
More than anything...we both lost our sisters...and more than anything, we were hurt, and we missed them...I still do...
But when she hugged me...telling me that it's a part of life, and that I'd be ok after awhile, and that she'd always be there for me...
I suppose Acceptance clicked into place, as I hugged her back.
I didn't cry. I didn't want her to know just how much Abby had hurt me, how deep she'd cut me...how a part of my heart will always be missing as a result...but now?
As I'm typing this, the tears are flowing, and it's all I can do to not sob for a years long friendship...amounting to nothing.
I've accepted that Abby is done with me...I unintentionally pushed her away, because of who I am...because of WHAT I AM.
Because of how my brain works...and while I know that was never her reason, it very well may have been Fyre's reason, because she always wanted me to do things her way, to change how I act to her liking...and I foolishly tried, at least for a little while...until I realized I not only couldn't change anything, but that I was hurting myself trying in the process...
I was never good enough...never obedient enough, for Fyre to want to put up being my friend...so I'm done trying. Done getting my heart hurt by a person I once considered my friend...
And if Abby doesn't see it...doesn't care, to look...then all I can do is respect her wishes...
And to @abbyvolleyball09...if you see this...I wish you and Fyre the best...I'm sorry I was such a burden to you...and I'm going to miss you and the good times we had more than anything...
And, @cosmictyto, I know you'll see this...I just want to thank you for being so kind to me during this hard time...I've been needing a shoulder to lean on, and you have graciously been that shoulder.
I'm glad to say that I can say I at least have one friend to see me through this darkness...even if the darkness is the pain of accepting a former friend no longer wishes to be friends...
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 8 months
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Iā€™ll say it. If I could, and if I had permission- Iā€™d request you draw my warriors OC, because this is PERFECT- these are perfect representations of Crowley and Aziraphale- I donā€™t know if I spelled that right first try- in warriors EVER. And Iā€™m in love with this already. Worst part is, my OC is essentially the description of the Warrior Cats version of the Anti-Christ, at least on the outside and in personality- though we all know better than to judge a book by its color, or a cat by its pelt, now donā€™t we? Lol, seriously though, meggiscat, if you see this, you could totally have people pay you for commissions, this is talent!
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the nice and accurate prophecies begin
bonus:
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 8 months
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HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY! Y'all need a third party between the two of you to WORKšŸ‘THISšŸ‘OUTšŸ‘!
Seriously tho- butting heads and throwing fighting words, making excuses and defending yourselves over and over without making changes- nothing's going to get better if you keep it up.
Take my advice with a grain of salt if you will- you haven't got much to lose from bringing someone else into the fold.
So, is there any reason to why you two don't like each other so much right now?
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Who's side are you on?
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 8 months
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Oooooook- I'm about to get into it here. I'm on no one's side because you're BOTH in the wrong.
Sun, Moon's right, you ARE a liar, in some aspects at least, you're also self-centered and overly paranoid and are CAUSING Moon to want to be so violent, because you make him angry at how you treat him and constantly gas-light him into thinking you care about him, when really you're just trying to save yourself from being decommissioned.
But MOON, that does NOT mean you're getting cut some slack, because while Sun IS a liar, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOU BROKE HIS RAYS. I CAN SEE THE TAPE, DAMN IT. And that's not all, whether Sun is cruel to you or not, that doesn't mean you hurt him OR THE KIDS, whether that is true or not, you aren't exactly helping your case with MAN-HANDLING SUN JUST NOW. I get it, you don't want to be forgotten or pushed aside, but do you want to be remembered for acting like a bully, or worse, a monster?
Sun, we're not done yet, don't you DARE talk down to Moon like he's insignificant, because he's not. He's not a child you can give a time out and teach some lesson to, HE IS YOUR CO-WORKER AND COUNTERPART. TREAT HIM AS SUCH.
And Moon, knock it off with the purposefully acting scary, or threatening Sun, once again not helping your case when you do that. If you want more time to shine, you have to pull yourself together and ACT like you want to be out and about without having to fight for control.
Lastly, SUN...stop keeping Moon from coming out. If you want things to get better, stop burying your head in the sand, doing the same thing, because it's clearly not making things better by trying to keep him in, you're making it worse. Give a little trust, and you'll get a little trust. And that does not mean one teeny tiny slip-up and you go back to keeping him locked in your head, we're going the full-on "3 strikes and you're out" strategy here. What qualifies a strike is a VERBAL THREAT, not to you Sun, but to kids, Staff, or anybody outside your body, capische? Harm to staff or kids also qualifies, as well as PROPER SABOTAGE of equipment, as in messing with the security cams, not breaking a crayon by accident. Accidentally scaring the kids does not qualify, purposefully does, depending on severity. He's not getting a strike for saying "Boo" after hiding behind his hands to a toddler automatonophobia. (fear of robots, animatronics, etc.)Leaving the Daycare while it's open will also technically qualify as a strike, but I don't believe that is what Moon wants to do if he's being given a chance. Refusing to give back control once Naptime is over will also elicit a strike, depending on his reaction to being told his time is up for the time being. A childish "awww maaaannn" moment before begrudgingly giving back control isn't enough for a strike.
Are we clear on that? Or am I personally going to have to bring Officer Vanessa in here to sort things out between the two of you? (I could always just bring Monty in here, he'd straighten you out by the end of the Daycare's operating hours.)
So, is there any reason to why you two don't like each other so much right now?
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Who's side are you on?
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kaelyn-stocktonmil Ā· 8 months
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Depressed/Lonely Self-Rant
Ok so...I don't really know what I'm doing at this point, pretty sure I'm just doing whatever my mind says is right, alongside hoping maybe there's someone out there who gets it who might be kind enough to give anything from encouraging words, to an offer to be friends.
And I know that's asking for a lot in this world. So this is basically just me venting so...if you stick around to the end of this, congrats...if not, I don't blame you.
So, everybody knows what depression is. Seasonal depression, chronic depression, temporary, etc. And believe me, all of them get overlooked in a lot of ways. People always say that it's just depression, things will get better, it's just in your head, etc. But it's still someone going through a hard time. Sometimes anti-depressants help, sometimes they won't make a dent in the things people feel.
I'm beginning to think I might have some form of chronic depression. Most days I'll seem fine for the majority of the day, and next thing I know, a cloud just falls over me after I do, or see something...most of which relates to how lonely I am. My friends have all but disappeared, or distanced themselves from me...my best friend has had enough of being the middle-woman between me and the others, to help work things out and said it in probably the nicest way she could that I'm on my own in terms of figuring things out with the others...even though I just wanted to hang out. The worst part is that whenever I'm with my best friend, and the others are on, they suddenly aren't against spending time with me...but the moment my bestie is gone, so are they. I reached out to ask to hang out, and they quite literally told me they weren't trying to be rude, but none of us want to hang out with you, so kindly go fuck off... I haven't bothered to reach out since, and that was at the start of January...
I get it, I'm a hard person to be friends with. I suck at reading social ques, I'm stubborn, I'm clingy, and yes, I can be oblivious, and sometimes I hurt the people I love without realizing to or meaning it...but I never meant to do any wrong by my friends. I was the one to introduce my bff to my other friends, because I wanted to be polite and friendly...and now my friends don't want anything to do with me, unless I'm with my bff...
So, what am I supposed to do? Keep burying my head in the sand and asking what I did wrong or wait? Because while I know the logical answer is to wait, my emotional mental state can't keep taking hits like this! I was so desperate as to get on my Xbox and start looking for posts, and both times I've gotten accepted, because it's ONLY BEEN TWICE, I got accepted by a little twerp who finds joy in trolling his SMP members with his Admin abilities by killing us 100 times, and thinks everyone is enjoying it and won't take no for an answer, and someone my age who kicked when he asked how my day was and I said repetitive, and he didn't hear it the first time, for what I assume he thought I was a damn kid! I HATE MY VOICE!
I'm depressed, I'm alone- because at this point "lonely" isn't what it is, my friends want nothing to do with me, and my best friend probably wishes we had never met with how tired I've made her
, and apparently according to her, Iā€™m depressed for nothing. I donā€™t know what to do. Iā€™ve lost everything important to me, and I have no Idea if I can get it back. And Iā€™ve tried to find an alternative, I told you! We all know how well that went! I feel like Iā€™m stuck in the movie ā€œGroundhog Dayā€, but 1000 times worse. Iā€™m living like tomorrow might be better, but it never is!Ā 
I donā€™t know what to do...no one listens, and no one hears. No one sees that Iā€™m NOT OK...and if they do...they donā€™t care.Ā 
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