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I’m a very, very impatient creature when it comes to posting art

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hey if you’re stuck being in church this sunday here’s a reminder that it’s completely free to think about gay sex and no one can tell. the government doesn’t want you to know this but jesus thinks it’s totally cool

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fun fact about languages: a linguist who was studying aboriginal languages of Australia finally managed to track down a native speaker of the Mbabaram language in the 60s for his research. they talked a bit and he started by asking for the Mbabaram word for basic nouns. They went back and forth before he asked for the word for “dog” The man replied “dog” They had a bit of a “who’s on first” moment before realizing that, by complete coincidence,  Mbabaram and English both have the exact same word for dog.

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the thing about me is that i will NEVER complain about a series having too many weird hairstyles. the weirder the better. if two plot-relevant characters have the same color hair and vaguely normal haircuts it will take me three months to tell them apart

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Feeling hostile about seeing Christmas advertisements in October

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Rating Disney Horse Designs

Cyril Proudbottom (The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad) 2/10 His vacant eyes and grotesque proportions disturb me

The Headless Horseman’s Horse (The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad) 7/10 Stunning. Very dramatic. Powerful look. 

Major (Cinderella) 4/10 Cyril Proudbottom’s more distinguished cousin. 

Samson (Sleeping Beauty)  3/10 There’s something not right about his face. I don’t trust him. 

Captain (One Hundred and One Dalmatians- movie)  5/10 A solid design. Friend shaped. 

Captain (I don’t know- some 101 Dalmatians tv show it looks like)  -30/10 Kill it now before it destroys us all. 

Frou-Frou (Aristocats)  7/10 A perfect genteel lady. Loses points for inconsistency in the animation. 

Philippe (Beauty and the Beast) 8/10 I’d trust this horse with my life

Achilles (The Hunchback of Notre Dame) 6/10 Respectable. Handsome. 

Snowball (The Hunchback of Notre Dame) 10/10 The DRAMA. The expression somewhere between “evil” and “hasn’t slept in 4 days”. The HAIR. Perfection. Exactly the type of horse I’ll ride when I turn evil.

Pegasus (Hercules) 6/10 A fun design, lot’s of personality. But kinda gives off Frat Boy energy. 

Baby Pegasus (Hercules) 11/10 I’d die for him. 

Khan (Mulan)  10/10 Look at those absurd proportions– the tiny legs and the huge barrel chest- amazing. 

Bullseye (Toy Story 2-4)  4/10 Is he cute? yes. But as someone who has owned many toy horses in her life, this is not a toy horse I would be pleased with. 

This Bullseye Toy I found looking for a movie picture of Bullseye -100/10 This thing IS cursed and we will probably all die for having seen it. But I’m taking you all down with me. 

Buck (Home on the Range)  2/10 No matter what picture, no matter what expression, you look at this horse and just KNOW he would be so unpleasant to talk to. 

Blessedly, there is no horse in Chicken Little. 

Destiny (Enchanted)  5/10 This is a Barbie horse and I swear I owned it. 

Maximus (Tangled) 7/10 A good design but too much dogness. 

Angus (Brave) 15/10 Everything that’s good in a horse. 

Sitron (Frozen) 11/10 He deserves so much better than Hans. Look at his kind eyes. This is a horse that will treat you right. This horse is the anti-Hans. 

Nokk (Frozen 2)  20/10 WATER HORSE WATER HORSE WATER HORSE WATER HORSE!

This Horse I Assume Bruno Stole (Encanto) 9/10 He’s only there very briefly and I can’t even find a decent picture but he’s a very nice horse. 

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weh

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there a baby fox living under our deck and he literally looks like that "full of milk" drawing except somehow rounder

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(x)

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TIL that in ancient Rome, commoners would evacuate entire cities in acts of revolt called “Secessions of the Plebeians”, leaving the elite in the cities to fend for themselves

via reddit.com

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Quartz With Apophyllite & Stilbite Aurangabad, Maharashtra, India

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Kitchen Nightmares is really just like

Owners: i don't know why my restaurant is failing. Chef Ramsey please help

Ramsey: hello i am Gordon Ramsay. How is the food

Owners: we have the best food

*food comes out*

Gordon: this is an alive rat

Owners: our customers love te alive rat. We have the best food. Every day they order the alive rat.

*dinner service*

Customer: oh my god this is an alive rat

Waitress: is everything okay?

Customer: no it's an alive rat

*food is sent back*

Owner: this has never happened before. Fuck you Gordon Ramsay you should just leave. People love the alive rat

*Gordon goes in the freezer*

Gordon: there are 25 molds unknown to science. The rats have set up a lab to study them. Blimey. Scientist rats. They've unionized.

*later*

Gordon: your food is bad

Owner: no!!!!!!!!

Gordon: yes

Owner: oh my god our food is bad

*remodel, menu change*

Owner: oh my god Gordon Ramsay you saved my life thank you so much

Gordon: promise never to serve alive rats again, yeah?

Owner: yes of course

*end of episode*

Gordon: ratatouille ammirite? *He walks away chuckling*

End card: the restaurant was shut down three months later because they went back to serving alive rats.

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Eating a gummy worm. Do NOT try to eat the other end while I'm distracted again.

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new favorite tweet just dropped 😅

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When the joke goes too far and you end up a girl