kafkaesque22girlfriend

[kafkaesque22girlfriend]

guys what if told you i’m thinking of making a comeback? ;) do people even care about the damned series anymore or should i start a new one?

xoxo

[kafkaesque22girlfriend]

The Damned Pt.7

Toji Zenin x fem!reader

Synopsis: forced to get in with the Zenin clan by your parents as a servant, Toji Zenin seemed to damn you more than himself….

hi guys i’m back :3 sorry for not updating. i have so many ideas for this fic, pls go back and reread if ur confusedddd. chap is coming after the sexy times that have just ensued :33

blood, sexy stuff, pillowtalk, violence, typical Toji stuff

Toji cleaned you up in the bath after such a passionate night. You were both silent. He dried your hair, dried your body. His gaze didn't align with his soft touch... so he could be gentle?

Interesting.

He was never this attentive to women, but this was something he wanted to do. Toji should have thrown you out right after, he should have been at his wits end and come to his senses- realizing that this was a mistake, a line he shouldn't have crossed.

He laid you on the bed, both of your clothes strewn all over the floor, you flushed at the sight of him.

“Stay with me.” Toji muttered, hoping to God that you wouldn't hear him, but he might as well hold a megaphone to your ear and say it- you listened to him as per usual. You immediately curled into him, resting your head on his chest, Toji was stunned, he didn't know where to put his hands, or what to do with his fingers. He hadn't cuddled before. The revelation was stunting him, he didn't know what to do, any of his upcoming actions were on instinct and should be considered pure, right? Toji reluctantly put his arms around you and brought you tighter to his chest, he hesitantly stroked your hair, enjoying the way such softness felt under his calloused fingers.

“Just for tonight. But that's all, I'm throwing you out in the morning." He said gruffly, he was contemplating the risks right now but he just wanted to feel a body without it hurting him.

You nod reluctantly as you agree. He was right and you loathed it, but this stolen moment would be something to be cherished along the twisted path borne of Zenin hate. “Can I ask you something?” You whisper softly. Your soft padded fingertips traced the little scars littered on Toji's chest.

He couldn't help his eyes widen as you so casually yet so intently thumbed at his scars. This was the first time in a long time that someone had asked about his scars. Normal people within the clan, the chambermaids, the gardeners, the cooks were afraid to even look because of the fear of being reprimanded by him. But you...you weren't scared. You were curious, he liked that about you. But he knows that you'll die because of it. “Ask away...” He said lazily.

“Do you have the same nightmare every night?” You mutter, your solemn tone pierced his ears as your words hang in the air. You were obviously referring to last night when you found him thrashing in his bed, he almost broke your hand because of it, the purple stain on your skin meant nothing to the stain you wished to know- the one burdening his mind. You wondered if he went through the same torment every night.

Suddenly he glared at you with cold steely eyes and gripped your wrists to stop you from touching his scars. “Don't.” Toji said firmly.

You were mortified. “I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry.” You murmur under your breath, he could tell it wasn't on purpose but he still felt agitated because of it. He watched as your face flinched, he had to take a minute to process things and in the end, he finally spoke.

“It's fine.. Just don't touch them again. Never. Do you understand?”

“I'm sorry.” I understand. You whisper, you knew he was protecting himself from you, he doesn't want toopen up and you understood that. But it was difficult for you to let go. He looked so scared that night, he grabbed your wrist so hard that the bruise was still in full bloom. Your eyes flit to your wrists to inspect it as you remember the event. "You were so scared... I've never seen you that scared before.” You mumbled as concern etched over every perfect feature.

Toji tensed up. He was ashamed of what he had done, the way he had acted, the fact he still had fears at all. He had never felt guilt in this way before, it seemed like you were guiding him through multiple firsts. “I'm sorry... for hurting you.”

"No!" You blurted absentmindedly. You clear your throat as your eyes lock with his. “No. It's not your fault at all.” Toji hated it, hated how you said such meaningful things as if it was a casual thing. It wasn't. Your mind reeled to what else he could have done last night, he could have killed you.

Toji's hands wrapped around your sides to keep your body pressed against him. He felt quite protective of you at the moment and he was becoming more and more confused, more and more unravelled by every passing minute. He couldn't explain it but it felt too comfortable. “Don't feel scared when you're with me…stop trembling…it’s pathetic..”

You frown at his words, why was he making this an uphill battle. A war waged on no-one? You sigh and roll over to your side, facing away from him.

“ I'm not scared...I'm just cold.” You reply firmly, growing abit tired and confused at all of this. Tonight was overwhelming to say the least.

Toji groaned in irritation, not wanting to deal with this little huff. “What are you so scared of? You're shaking like you're trying not to freeze to death. Are you...are you that afraid of me?” For a split second moment, a small hole pierced through his heart: Are you scared of him? Are you pretending not be?

“No. I'm not afraid.” You say simply, yet you weren't giving your thoughts away in the process. Toji was getting more and more irritated at the fact that you were making this difficult for him. He sighed and put his palm on your back. "If you're not afraid of me, I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me... I want to see the truth."

Your ears perked up at the sudden declaration, you turned your head to look him in the eyes, almost as if you were challenging him. “Do you want me to be afraid of you? Is that it?” You say softly, sadness dampening your features, you weren't scared, you were sad.

“If you want me to give you a reason to be afraid of me, I can do just that.” His jaw clenched, his hands flexed and it's obvious that he wasn't lying-

You turn back over to face him and after a few moments of silence and deep pondering, you sighed, a serious look covering your face. “ I'm trying to understand you. All I want is to be close to you, but you're making that really difficult when you keep pushing me away like this.”

His eyes widened slightly and the stern expression on his face softened just a bit. You hit him in just the tender spot and he didn't like how he was acting, he was ashamed of it. Toji didn't understand what he was feeling so he reverted to the only thing he could comprehend other than violence and hatred, he pushed you away. “Right...” He said lowly.

You avert your gaze from his, trying to figure out what to see to get through the cold exterior of his bloodied heart. You sigh, he didn't need to be reprimanded, he needed warmth. "I'm sorry I pushed you." You whisper. We don't have to talk about this. This is the only night we can spend together... So can I hold you?" You compromise, why should you waste a night in bed arguing? You wanted to hold him, one last time.

Toji let out a groan, your body was like velvet under his scarred fingers, your lips like rose petals. He won't ever have this ever again. He won't ever have you ever again, so why should you both argue? Toji didn't want to get too attached to you in a short amount of time... but it seemed that he really didn't have that much of a choice, and he could tell that his heart wasn't listening to his brain...he didn't want to let go of you at all. “Please….Just don't touch my scars.” His voice was almost desperate, pleading.

Toji looked gorgeous right now, his dark hair ruffled, his chest rippling, the pale moonlight dimly exposing every chiselled feature on his perfectly sculpted face, his scar quirking with every move of the lips you so passionately kissed. He pulled you close when he noticed your probing, that curious look on your face he couldn't deny. He wondered what it would be like to fuck your face, the thought was certainly intoxicating, yet he couldn't have it. The atmosphere was far too sensually charged for something as vulgar as that. You looked like an angel, it disgusted him. You rest your chin on his bare chest, refraining from touching any of his scars. You sigh softly and lean into his jaw. “I really enjoyed tonight...” You whisper.

Toji let out a husky grunt, your sweet breath tickled his skin. "You're getting pretty close...C’mere...let me kiss you.”

You pressed your fingers against his lips, softly stroking his lips, carefully avoiding the scar on his lip. "I like the way you press up against me...” He muttered against your fingertips, he fell so deeply into your eyes, he felt like he was protecting you from the whole world in his arms- like he's the only one that can protect you.

He moved your hand from his lips and immediately grabbed you by the nape of your neck. Toji put his mouth to yours, a sensual and deep kiss that stole the air out of your lungs. His hands buried into your hair, his face scrunched up in desperation, like your kiss was the breath of life in his world of death, your tongues melded into one. He pulled you onto his lap, Toji's warm palms lifted up his shirt that you were wearing. Your skin was like heaven, he kissed your neck and collarbone, he sucked on your breasts and nipples as your hands raked through his hair.

“Toji….hah…” You gasp softly, his passion was unrelenting. He pulled back and searched your eyes for an answer, a sign, to find something that he couldn't find within himself. “What are you doing to me?" He said through a strained breath, his words hung heavy in the air.

What were you doing to him...

He was weak for it

He hated it.

Toji could feel your body relaxingin his arms as it slowly made its way to laying on his chest. You nuzzled into his neck and you were pretty much fully exhausted and ready to go to sleep. Toji let out a hesitant deep breath as he let his eyes close. He had you in his arms, there was this overwhelming urge to keep you safe, he always wanted to protect you, this was his way of showing you that he had never felt his satisfied with himself.

Yet his love for killing was your toughest opponent in comparison.

-

The night chill was lulling his body, the soft whisps of wind flowed through the slightly creaked balcony door. The stars twinkled across the compound lake, the garden flowers fluttered in the breeze and the owls cooed. Everything was peaceful, serene, and quiet, but alas...nothing goes right too long for Toji.

Sweat soaked Toji's forehead, his heart thumped in his ribcage, his hands flexed his hands, his knuckles turned white, his jaw clenched.

That shouldn't be happening-

You're there.

You shouldn't be there.

“Toji. Wake up. Hey, hey....it's okay...just please wake up!'”

Toji shot up and awoken suddenly from his sleep when he felt you place your hand on his shoulder. The cold sweat was dripping down his forehead, a mere trickle that spurred on a consecutive series of horrifying events conjured up in his own head. His hands trembled, eyes narrowing into mere slits.

Fuck, fuck, fuck...

The Zenin's didn't exist.

He was making love to you, such sweet love.

You were happy.

He was happy.

“Toji. You were having another nightmare…it's okay. I'm here, you're fine.” You whisper, his face was pale, his heart was clenching, he felt like he was being strangled slowly. He saw you there, and he immediately grabbed you by the shoulders and stared directly into your eyes.

“Don't... You need to stay away from me...” He gritted out through clenched teeth. “I could hurt you..”

You sighed out deeply, a little frustrated about this undying conviction for him to push you away right now when this was the only night you would have together. "Hey.” You said firmly this time, tilting his chin up and holding his face softly so he could look up at you; deep, sad, distant eyes met yours. “It's just us - just you and me right now. No one else. I'm here, okay? I'm not leaving.” You lean in and give him a gentle kiss on the lips and pull away caressing his scalp slightly.

The words that spilled from your lips were like a soothing balm, and the simple touch of your fingers felt like the touch of an angel. Toji's narrow eyes softened the tiniest bit, that small kiss...

Your kiss. -

“You’re so gentle...” He muttered, his tone bittersweet.

In that nightmare, you were there. Caked in blood as he loomed over you. It was in your hair, on your face, your body…..Your throat slashed. A trademark Zenin cut.

-

the angst and the smut i have planned is diabolical.

Taglist (mwah!) @wo-ming-bai @xduskydollx @chilichopsticks @maskedpacific @kaizxnx @gojoslefttoenail @idreamitski @miraes-world @misscats-mha @niss2mpm @taylorazureeee @sweetteez @21aurora

[kafkaesque22girlfriend]

i had exams y’all but i’m back!!! my brain has too many ideas for damned GRAHHHH

[kafkaesque22girlfriend]

The Damned Pt.6

Toji Zenin x fem!reader

Synopsis: forced to get in with the Zenin clan by your parents as a servant, Toji Zenin seemed to damn you more than himself….

smut, virginity loss

Your words died in your throat, the sheer pressure... the weight of everything that was uttered out of those scarred lips. Toji stood in front of you, waiting for your mouth to say something, or to slap him for being out of line, he refrained from putting his hands on you... for now. Once he set his mind on something, Toji was always bound to achieve it. He was nothing but an overachiever.

“Say something...” He ordered softly, his tone stern but just gentle enough to not be intimidating. He stared down at your face, analyzing each feature when he talked to you like this, how it would change, how it would flush.

You breathe out, collecting your thoughts before opening up your lips and blinking up at him. “I never thought you would want me this way.” You exhale through a strained breath. “I want you too...” Your eyes glitter with anticipation as the words just fall from your lips.

Toji's eyes darkened as you spoke, those words resounded through his entire body. You were willing and that was enough for him. You knew it was wrong. You knew you shouldn't. The consequences would be heinous... the Zenins were known for their cruelty, God knows what they'll do to you.

“Hey, don't be so skittish.….” He muttered, hooking a finger under your jaw, making you blink up at him directly into his infatuating eyes.

“Are you going to...kiss me?” You melted into his fleeting touch for a reason you couldn't comprehend, right now you felt something for him, something deep within your chest. Heartbeat hammering, body stiffening, lips parting...

Part of Toji wanted to chuckle. That naivete...he had to teach you many things. He was acting on suppressed impulse, you really shouldn't...but he wanted to.

He took a step forward and pulled you up to his lips with one arm, he saw it, that spark. Your eyes were full of lust and intrigue. Toji's lips met yours hesitantly, contemplating you, lips barely touching, noses nudging and sliding against each other...waiting for the other to make the first move. Toji couldn't take it anymore and pressed his lips against yours, you let out a muffled squeak as he kissed you, hard. Almost as if he was waiting to do it. He stole all the breath out of your lungs, his kiss was firm, yet not passionate...like he was experimenting... taking a taste test. His hand met with your jaw whilst the other was on the small of your back.

The man was truly galling in every sense of the word.

It was surprsing, but when wasn't he? He parted your lips with his tongue and you let out a soft moan, something that definitely didn't get past him, he liked that sound... he wanted to hear more of it. So pretty. So wrong.

After a moment he felt you pull back, he practically knocked the air out of your lungs. You haven't been kissed before, it was obvious by the way you were reacting. It pleased him immensely, he knew exactly what you were going to say. His temple met with yours as you regulated your soft exhales.

“Toji... I've never done this before. I don't know if-' You mutter, your breath straining in his ear. A string of uncertainty coursed through you.

“I know... You have to save your purity for your future husband. You're so ripe...so pure...I want to break you, but I'll be gentle.” Toji pulled back and looked down into your eyes, clouded with desire and lust already...he wondered if you were wet from just a single kiss. As he scanned your face, he saw your reluctance and something within him urged, to be gentle, to protect. “A good man would just leave you alone...But I'm not. I don't think I'm capable of that.” He murmured huskily, he wanted to be honest with you... but even with that, your desire didn't die down, it increased tenfold. He wasn't objectively good or bad either, but you felt he had the potential to be good. That's a thought to be reseved for later though. “I'll be gentle.”

“So you're gonna..-make love to me?” You swallow down your nerves and just ask him, blinking up at him as his fingers brushed away some strands of your hair. His touch was like liquid wildfire zipping up and down your body. You began your own heistant exploration, raising your hands up to his chest. Toji wasn't hostile for once. He always hated people touching him but this was something that he didn't mind, those gentle fingers rested on his shoulders.

Toji felt an immense heat run through his body as you said those words. The way you spoke sounded so sweet. “Yes, I’m going to make love to you..” Toji wasn't soft with women, but he felt like he owed you that, he didn't want to hurt you.

“I'm gonna undress you...” His large palms traveled up and down your sides, playing with the hem of your slip. The frabic fell at your feet. Stunning didn't even begin to cover it. His hands went to your hips, settling on top of your panties.

Toji eyed your breasts, they were a perfect pair. Your nipples were flushed and hard under his steely gaze before they flitted to your eyes. He couldn't help but awe at your form, the dip in your waist, the softness of your untouched skin

Toji liked the look in your eyes, you were curious yet still a bit timid. Too beautiful for a mere man like him to comprehend. He leaned in and pressed his lips to your temple as he cradled your face, he was sensual with his touches, almost like he wanted them to be barely there. Your soft exhales were an indicator of how much you wanted it...he was knocking the air out of your lungs bit by bit, breaking you apart little by little.

“Toji...” You whisper, your tongue forgetting how to form words other than his name, like an incantation, a prayer. Не kissed your jaw, cradling it with one hand and the sensation blossomed under your skin. His touch made your body still, all of this was so unexpected... but so inviting.

Your lips parted when he bent down and got to his knees, almost like he was worshipping something he had no comprehension of. Why were you so kind to him? Why were you just doing so much yet nothing at all? He looked up at you, heavy-lidded, watching your every feature, the crinkle of your face as he slowly shimmied down your panties. You swallowed down your initial shyness as you let out a sensual sigh. Toji bit his lip as he stared down at your soaked panties. He knew virgins got wet so easily, but this was something that he wasn't expecting. A couple of kisses and a couple of touches got you like this...God, he couldn't even imagine what it would be like when he was inside you.

“Aren't you something...” Toji chuckled under his breath. It was almost like it was an inside joke for himself. You reluctantly put your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, you wanted to bury your fingers through his hair but you refrained. He leaned in and took in the scent of you. He knew that you'd smell sweet, you were like candy to the senses.

“You smell so good...Fuck, I wanna taste...” He murmured. “Come here...” He stood up and pulled you against him, kissing you deeply, gripping onto your plump ass. You gasped into his mouth and he kissed you deeper, leading you onto his bed, pushing you onto it.

“Toji.. please...I want this, I want you.” You whimper out pathetically, you were so curious of how his cock would look like. He surely had to be well endowed, the man was so overwhelming as he loomed over you, he could tell that you were in your own head, thoughts zooming about as he settled over you, keeping himself up with his palms on the bed. The bed that you slept in with him. You got a little embarrassed by how wet you were, so you close your legs bashfully.

His eyes were filled with hunger and passion. This bashfulness of yours made his desire increase tenfold.

“Hey, relax...Don't be shy, I'm not going to bite...let me take care of your needs.” His words were soft but his eyes were full of hunger and desire.

You bite your lip at his shameful introspection. Your chest was rising and falling as he tucked some hair behind your ear. You blink up at him as if he hung the stars. The sigh you left out was breathless as you open your legs to him, giving him full view of your dripping hole, contracting around nothing. It was adorable, he couldn't wait to stretch you out. “Sensitive…”

His hand stroked your blushing cheek. “It’s okay…I’m not gonna hurt you. Let me make you scream, let me prove myself to you.” You arch your back as you arch your back, he fondles your tits, pressing his fingers against your nipples, they were so hard they could cut glass. Your broken moan was just stunning to him. “Feels good…” Your body was art.

“I know baby, I know it does.” He then began to move his hands inbetween those plush thighs. Your pussy was crying out to him, so wet, he watched as the arousal slipped out of you.

He wanted to eat you out until you came all over his face, but he wanted to start gentle now.

You blink up at him, your hand sliding up his shirt as an idicator that you wanted it off, he stares down at your ministrations, amused by how you wouldn’t blatantly ask him to strip. Such a considerate girl. He read your mind and pulled his shirt over his head, revealing the layers of rippling muscles that you still haven’t grown accustomed to even after watching him train. His arms were so big, his palms, his chest, his bicep…They were littered in small scars but his skin was soft.

Toji paused as he saw your intent exploration of his skin. He wouldn’t let something like this slide but for now…he was just as curious as you. “Your skin is soft.” Was all you could muster out, and the compliment took him by surprise.

Fuck. That blush of yours could send a man to his knees. Your lips…He doubts you’ve ever seen a cock before let alone sucked one. He would teach you in time, but for now, he wants to get you ready for him.

He kisses you again, your tongues meshing against one another with soft moaning and wet sounds accompanying you both. You tasted like fruit, like plenty…like longing. Like everything good in the world melted onto such a pretty mouth. Your tongue tentatively explores his mouth, he tasted like mint toothpaste and the faintest hint of…oranges? But then again those flavours didn’t matter because he tasted like Toji.

“Toji…hands…” You murmed against his lips and he knew you took a liking to his hands, he propped and arched your body upward into him as he kissed and felt up your body. He loved these pretty tits, he’d suck on them all day, those pretty flushed rose buds were perfect. He sucked on your nipple, swirling it with his tongue as the other twesked its twin. He would mark you up another day, for once he won’t be a brute. Just once.

You moaned lightly, careful not to be too loud to raise suspicion or wake people up. Toji smirks as he lets go with a pop. “You taste like light…” He breathes and you didn’t really understand what he meant by that.

You tasted like everything pure and good in the world. You tasted like light. Light casted onto his world of darkness.

He whine and coo on the bed, savouring every second of this moment, your mind still wasn’t able to wrap your head around it. His hand slipped between your thighs and onto your pretty pussy, teasing you with barely there touches. “I’m gonna put these inside you now…” He whispers into your ear. “Take it for me baby…Please, I need to learn your body…Will you let me?”

“Yes…” You nod feverishly as his hot breath was like an aphrodesiac. He slipped one finger into your dripping hole, it was so cute and tight, but needed to stretch you out further. You gasped and jolted at the feeling, letting it sink in. “So warm.” He rasps, but he notices you srunch your face up in uncertainty. “Hey, relax your body for me…You’re so tight you’re gonna break my fingers.” He chuckled but his voice was warm and reassuring. You sighed and let your body relax, letting the pleasurable sensation spread and tingle down your thighs.

“No one’s ever touched you like this…” He murmured to himself, absolutely adoring the fact he would be your first. “No one’s been exploring you…that’s such a shame.” Toji’s fingers stretched you out a bit more, your pants and sighs of elations spurring him on. “What happens when I press…here..” His thumb pressed your throbbing clit, his sensual voice resounded throughout your whole body and your moan was unstoppable. “Men must throw themselves at you…They must break their spines for just one look at you…” Toji leans in and whispers hotly in your ear but his tone was cold.

“Toji…I’m ready…Please.” You gulp as his penetrating eyes stare you down, most of the time you felt you were invisible, lurking around like a ghost…but Toji saw you, he wanted to see you. To acknowledge your existence.

Toji took those words in like scripture and leaned up, taking off his boxers and sweats, what was revelead made your eyes widen. His cock was huge. He was hung, it was girthy and thick. The prominent veins were what excited you the most. He was hard, painfully so and a little bit of precum settled on his tip. That look on your face, he wanted to smear his cock all over it and blow his hot cum all over your face. The idea made him grunt. “Look at how hard you make me…”

Your jaw went slack when you try to comprehend how that’ll even fit inside of you. “Toji…how will that-“ You gasp softly. There’s no way he could fit. He saw you squirming and he held your legs still.

“Don’t run away from it…” His tone was authoritative but gentle all at once, women must be melting at his feet to hear him talk like that.

He slapped his length at the bottom of your stomach, measuring how deep he’ll be inside of that tiny little pussy. The soft plap made you coo, you played with your nipples as he shuffled through his drawer. You gape curiously as he takes out a condom. “I’d love to fuck you raw, make that pretty cunt drool with my cum…but…” Toji didn’t even had to finish that sentence.

Then you realised, you’re really doing this. Losing your virginity to your master.

He ripped off the condom packaging with his teeth and rolled it on, it didn’t even reach halfway. The thought only set off another spark in you. His fingers spread your cunt open, watching how it contracted around nothing, just begging to be filled. You were so wet, it made his cock throb painfully.

“I’m going to put it in.” He nudged the tip of his cock, plapping it against your pretty pussy. “Tell me if it hurts or you want me to stop.” He said softly, that itself surprised Toji. He was never considerate for women he fucks, most of them where sluts and whores he finds a way to sneak into the compound. He didn’t care for them. But oddly enough…he didn’t want to hurt you. “Be good for me and relax, baby.” He kissed your lips again and snatched a bit of your own soul out too.

You nod fervently and do as he says. You spread your legs wide, brushing away the shyness and embarrassment and let them rest around his waist, his touch felt good, you were excited to feel his cock inside of you.

You grab onto his shoulders and gasp breathlessly as he slowly inches his way in, the intrusion was…warm and you could quite literally feel yourself stretching out. “Ah-“ You grunted out with a wince, he watched your reaction as he went in further, he wasn’t even halfway yet and he knew it stung. He raised his eyebrow and you know that he was asking for confirmation.

“More…” You whisper out, clouded in a haze, it hurt a bit but once he nestled deeper inside of you, touching your g-spot…all you felt was a sense of pleasure. He nudged his cock against your cervix and it made him smile.

“You’re taking it…That’s a good girl.” He complimented slyly, it surprised him to see you take it like such a champ. Toji bit his lip when he saw the bulge in your belly, it made him want to bust on the spot. “So full of me…” He whispers against your lips. “I’m going to start moving now…”

“Please! Please move…” You moaned, digging your fingernails into the skin of his shoulders.

Toji stared to move in and out of you, your body jolting and squirming up and down the bed. He was literally stretching you put with every thrust, your little hole tightening around him. Your mouth was open, moaning and hiccuping with every thrust, those soft sounds were the sweetest symphony. *Hic* *Hic* *Hic*

You screw your eyes shut snd arch your back further as he thrusts into you, his hand holding your waist while the other held your thigh. Toji leaned into your neck and groaned, peppering your skin with small kisses and suckles. “You’re gonna suck the soul out of me, sweetheart.” He mumbled, you were practically vaccumed sealed to his dick.

“Open your eyes baby…Look at me while I’m taking you.” He grits out. You open your eyes and blink up at him blankly, dumbed out by his massive cock splitting you in half.

That expression. He wanted to cum all over it.

Out of desperation and some sort of vice, you lean in and seek for his lips. His kiss was deep and sloppy, tongues finding tongues. Exchanging sweet spit. “You feel so good…” You cry out, tears of pleasure welling up in your eyes. It was so much and you were greedily taking all of it. “Am I doing okay…?” You whisper out, trying to gauge how your performance was.

Toji smiled, liking how you were keen for his praise and opinion. “More than okay. You’re driving me insane…Squeezing me so tight, taking me so good sweetheart…” He praised in that low sultry tone of his. You let out a sigh of relief and gave him a weak, lazy smile. Your blush increases and heats your face even more.

As he continued his thrusts, your moans were becoming more and more loud, you bit your first to conceal them. Your eyes gleamed and sparkled in the night as he kept pounding you rhythmically, but his pace began to change into something faster. He enjoyed the white ring settling at the base of his cock, his balls were so heavy he needed to blow his load soon. You were so wet, it was just oozing out of you, this provided good lubrication for him to just keep reaching deeper. Your belly bulged when he moved his cock in and he definitely enjoyed that.

When you lock your legs around his waist, he knew you were done for. You were so close, your pussy was squeezing around him so tightly. “I’m gonna…I’m…” Toji hushed you with his thumb as they brushed against your lips, his pried them open and his thumb settled into your mouth. You sucked and licked at it out of pure instinct and he could feel that resonate with his cock.

“I know baby…” He growled. Your soft breathless cries landed sweetly on his ears. Your body tightens and tenses up as that warm feeling in your gut threatens to snap. “Squeeze around me, cum for me…”

“Oh my God…Ah.” Your whines got more and more desperate until you couldn’t handle the pressure anymore, with a whimper you finished, letting yourself release onto him passionately. Toji watched with intenful eyes as your body convulsed, he msde you fall apart, the amount of cum you released made a puddle form in front of him. It oozed and dripped out as you lay there limp and panting, eyes clouded in haze.

The sight broke him completely, he grit his teeth and before he finished, he pulled out and ripped the condom off and released thick ropes of hot cum onto your tits, coating you entirely. Your mouth popped open as you gaze at him in awe as so much comes out, you coo as it lands onto your sensitive nipples, biting your lip as you blink up at him.

You both stare at each other panting. Gazes intent and curious all at once, like you were both coming to terms with what you’ve both done. Your glossy eyes daren’t waver as a moment of silence settled between you.

You couldn’t help it.

Leaning in at the exact same time, you kissed. Passionately, rawly, like nothing else existed. Your tears fell down your cheeks and he whiped them away with his thumb.

Nothing else existed.

Not the Zenin Clan.

Not anything else.

Just the two of you.

-

i’m sorry this took forever to get out, I wanted to make this a good one. Be warned angst in the future. I’M SORRY I CAN’T HELP MYSELF.

Taglist (mwah!) @wo-ming-bai @xduskydollx @chilichopsticks @maskedpacific @kaizxnx @gojoslefttoenail @idreamitski @miraes-world @misscats-mha @niss2mpm @taylorazureeee @sweetteez @21aurora

[kafkaesque22girlfriend]

I need you to know that I'm absolutely LOVING the damned series so far thank you for this meal

thank you so much baby i’ll be posting a new chapter tonight mwah kisses 😚

[kafkaesque22girlfriend]

The Damned Pt. 5

Toji Zenin! x fem! reader

Synopsis: forced to get in with the Zenin clan by your parents as a servant, Toji Zenin seemed to damn you more than himself….

mentions of sexy times :p

As day turned to night, all of your duties were attended to and now you felt your body beginning to relax these strange sensations Toji was giving you. The man was truly galling in every sense of the word, though you didn't want to think about it now. All you wanted to do now was shower and go to bed.

You enter the bathroom of your servant quarters, you try to turn the shower on but it doesn't work. You raised your eyebrow as you fiddled with the faucet again, but it just makes a janky noise and the water, comes out in unrhythmic spurts. You try and unjam the nozzle but your efforts were fruitless. You thought about not showering but then you'd feel all gross the next day. You thought about heading to the other servant quarters and use their shower but it was late and you didn't want to disturb anyone.

You only had one option left and that was Toji. You knew it would be awkward and weird but you had to grit your teeth and bare it. What kind of servant uses their master's shower? That's just...weird. Yet again, you shared a bed together…

Finding yourself at Toji's door with your towel, clothes and some toiletries- you knock on his door hesitantly, grimacing at the reaction you'll face.

The soft knock on Toji's door stopped him from his reading. He knew who it probably was, and in all honesty, he didn't want to deal with you at the moment. He didn't want to speak to you but here he was, taking a gamble with his own emotions and opening the door to find you standing there, so nervous in your stature.

"Yes?'

You were yanked out of your own head when you felt Toji's figure loom over, you swallowed as you blinked up at him. He was wearing that black compression shirt again...the one that clung to him like glue.

“Hey...I know this is weird and all...but my shower doesn't work and it probably won't be seen too until tomorrow night. Is it okay if I use yours this once?” You ask, grimacing a little.

Toji just glared at you, scowling a little at first but once you explained your situation, he didn't want to make this any worse than it was. “What about the other servant quaters?” He said lowly.

“Those are on the other side of the compound and I don't want to risk waking anyone up at this hour.” You said softly, hoping he would understand that this was a last case scenario.

As much as he wanted to ignore you right now, he decided to take the higher path and responded calmly and politely. “I uh...suppose I could let you. Just try and get it done quickly, I don't want to be disturbed any further, we clear?”

You sigh in relief, so damn thankful he wasn't making this any worse than it had to be. "Yes, of course... Thank you.” You give him a weak smile and Toji thought his knees would buckle if you did that again. He opened the door and let you in, closing it too.

You get into his bathroom and lock the door, just thankful that you could have a shower and feel clean for the next day ahead. Stripping naked, you turn the shower on, letting the water warm up in your palms as you get in. His shower was truly high class, but what else were you expecting? You wet your body and lather your hair with shampoo, letting the suds soak your hair as you rinse it off, taking in the soft apple scent. You eyed the body wash and shampoo that Toji had in his shower, intruiged, you picked it up to inspect it. It was expensive that's for sure, you hesistantly opened up his shampoo and it smelled...intoxicating. It was dark and heady, with hints of vanilla sweetness. For a moment you thought the shampoo was describing Toji directly. Pulling yourself away from your thoughts, you stepped out of the shower and dried yourself off.

Toji on the other hand couldn't focus on his book anymore since youinvaded him with your effervescent presence. He grunted to himself, hating the direction in which his thoughts were heading. Your body was naked in his shower, he wondered how the water glided from curve to curve, how your soft hands lathered your body in soap...Your breasts, your neck…inbetween your thighs. The mental image was truly captivating. Too bad he could never have it.

You finish dressing yourself in just a simple silk black nightdress, nothing too out of the ordinary. You open the door and the steam from the bathroom wafted in slightly, casting a glow to your silhouette as you exit the bathroom with a towel and other items in your hand. Toji's eyes were fixed on you entirely, part of him wanted to rub his bare eyeballs with his fists to make sure what he was seeing was in fact real. Your body was glistening under the dim light, your hair was still a little damp- it made Toji's breath instantly catch in his throat. What a fucking sight, it made him want to drool.

You stand there, smiling, staring at the ground then back at him, a light glow to you skin illuminating every facial feature. “Thank you for.. you know, the shower.” His gaze burned into you and you couldn't help the pink blush dusting on your cheeks.

Toji was looking at you and those words of yours caught him off gaurd, it was making him forget about the frustration he was harbouring before, now all he wanted to do was give in. To want to have an intimate moment with his own servant was so stupid...right?

Unable to fight his desire, he sat down on the edge of his bed and stared at his hands, not even looking at you anymore. “You look beautiful...Just wanted you to know that.” He stated coldly, that low voice of his reaching a new level of steely in just a matter of moments.

Your mouth fails you, the words simply wither and die out in your mouth. It felt like your heart sunk and your stomach did a backflip. You swallow thickly as it takes a few seconds to truly comprehend what he just said. He thought you were...beautiful? “I...uh... Thank you.” You gulp down your initial shock and breathlessly let out those words. “You really think that?”

Toji tilted his head and looked at you, raising an eyebrow. He slowly got up and stepped towards you, your heart hammering like an alarm as he stood in front of you. He was just so damn overwhelming, and what made everything even more frstrating was the fact you couldn't read him at all

You let out a sharp exhale when he tucks some of your hair behind your ear, that steely stone cold look still present on his face. “You should dry your hair properly, you'll get sick.” He clipped, and that just made you even more confused, it felt like your legs were about to collapse in on themselves. After a moment of silence as he watched those pretty pupils of yours dialete, he let his tongue slip. “You're so beautiful it's infuriating.” He muttered, playing with your hair even more, he especially enjoyed it when your breath hitched at his touch.

Your eyes shot open. “Are you saying that just to...flatter me?” You ask gently, glancing at the floor and then back up at his intense forest green eyes, darkening by the very second.

Toji frowned at that, seeming a bit irritated by your response. The way you acted with such disbelief at his obvious compliments made him made and even more turned on than before. That'a why he chose to respond back without being so nice anymore.

“No..I'm not. But you should be flattered. You should be happy.” He clipped before taking a breath. “It's impossible not to gawk at you...It's truly sickening. I want to fuck you...so badly. I want to see whats under this silk...”

He leans in and whispers hotly into your ear, his tone low and cold. You bit your lip at this influx of attention from him, his admissions taking their time to process through your brain. His hand rests on your hip, his fingers toying with the hem of your nightdress. God, you smell like plenty, like longing. Like a fresh apple orchard. “I want to know how you taste...if you taste as sweet as you sound, as you look.” He breathed, his voice becoming more and more husky as he felt your body twitch under his thumb.

“I want it...I want to feel you. I need you to let me.”

-

sorry for the lil break!

the smut i have cooked next chapter is simply delicious omg

Taglist (mwah!) @wo-ming-bai @xduskydollx @chilichopsticks @maskedpacific @kaizxnx @gojoslefttoenail @idreamitski @miraes-world @misscats-mha

[kafkaesque22girlfriend]

The Damned Pt. 4

Toji Zenin x fem! reader

Synopsis: forced to get in with the Zenin clan by your parents as a servant, Toji Zenin seemed to damn you more than himself….

mentions of sexy times….:p

Toji's eyes pried open when the sun hit his face at an angle, warming the skin at a slow pace. His eyes instinctively snapped open to the window and he was awed by the sight of the sun rising, hues of purple and warm orange clouded the sky. It was beautiful.

That's what he would've thought if you weren't beside him. He really didn't want to be thinking about you like this, but how could he not when you were literally in his bed, your warmth surrounding you and the bed? You were still asleep, your cheek softly pressing into the pillow, breathing softly as the straps of your nightdress started falling down your shoulders. Your hair was a mess and covered your fluttering eyelids. Without thinking, he tucked a few strands of your hair behind your ear, gazing intently at your fanned lashes and parted lips. Your nightdress was slipping down as your shoulders and collarbones, he remembered the way he buried his face into your shoulders last night.

God, you were fucking stunning. He cursed you for it. Why couldn't you be a dull old bag like the other servants around the compound? No.. you were his assigned servant. You stirred and he immediately retracted his hand. Toji didn't have any disturbances in his sleep when you were here, what the hell did that mean? If anyone found you in his room, you'd be killed and he would be exiled. You really shouldn't be here, but he didn't want to disturb you and make all of this awkward for the both of you. He hoped no one would catch you in here.

Toji slowly got up and entered his bathroom to freshen up and get changed for the day ahead. There were no assigned battles or sessions today, it just gave him a chance to use the gym and train his ridiculously strong body. After he came out of the bathroom dressed for the gym, his eyes were drawn to you. You stretched your arms above your head and breathed deeply, he liked the small slivers of skin he saw. Toji took in the sight of you here, lying there, in his bed as beautiful as ever, one last time.

As Toji entered the gym, he felt relief wash over him. He liked this. He liked working out. Working out made him disciplined and in control. This was the only day in the week he could say that he didn't mind.

-

You blinked your eyes open as tiredness ached at your body. You yawned the sleep away and a look of surprise flashed over your face. Oh...yes. You stayed in Toji's room last night, his bed, next to him.

Your mind went blank as you registered that.

You stayed in Toji's bed. Your master's bed?

All night?

In his bed?

Shock pulled you back to reality, it hit you in the face like a brick. If anyone caught you in here then God knows what will happen. You shoot up from the bed and do his bed before you carefully make your way to your servant quarters. Fear and uneasiness rushed through you as you changed for your duties. What the hell were you thinking last night? His nightmare…

God, his nightmare.

You found out so much about him in such little time, that you could feel pinpricks of the way he touched you. He touched you...held you. A blush dusted your face but you scowl and ignore it for now.

-

Sweat trailed down Toji's forehead as he lifted his weights. His muscles tightened and his veins bulged.

A look of pure concentration was on his face as he gave it his all, his thoughts kept straying through to the beautiful creature that was sleeping in his bed. It spurred him on even more. He was surpassing his usual weight limits, it felt like he was trying to sweat away the thought of you in any way he could.

Toji's muscles were tensing and twitching. He just wanted to forget any thought of you, the memory of you, because if he couldn't forget then he didn't know if he could resist the urge of pulling you back into his bed again.

-

You put your clothes on and head downstairs to make him some food for whenever he comes back from whatever he's doing. It was definitely going to be awkward, you promised him you would both forget about this and act like it didn't happen in the morning. Knowing him, he wouldn't want to acknowledge he had a nightmare at all.

Finishing his food and plating it, you waited for him to return to the kitchen. You were bent over the kitchen counter, eating a banana and reading some shitty magazine about crap you couldn't care about but entertaining nonetheless. Toji trudged back into the kitchen with a towel, hot and sweaty as he rubbed the sweat off of his neck and face. He stood at the doorway.

Your eyes shoot up hesitantly and you swallow thickly, setting your banana down. You stood up straight to look up at him, expression blank and a little dazed. Dammit. Why did he always catch you at the worst times? Toji was struggling to look at you, the night was still fresh in his mind. "Oh, hey." You greet him, a little awkwardly. You stand up straight and try to be respectful and proper but gazing at him in this form was making it easy for you to melt right now. “Good morning.” You haphazardly clear your throat. “Train well?”

Toji wanted to keep it together even though his thoughts were overloaded. He kept a straight face and spoke in an unamused tone. “Good morning. Yes, training was usual. It was fine. Did.. you sleep well?” Toji took note of your blush, enjoying it under his observant eyes.

Your eyes widened glancing over at him, it felt like there was an eternity of silence between you but in reality, it was only a few seconds. A small weak smile tugged at your lips. "Uh yeah, I did...and you?” Your eyes were tinged with heat at the memory.

"Yes.” He said curtly. Toji's attention was fixated on you now, how could it be a servant who made him this…intrigued? Yet he remained in control of his thoughts and emotions regarding this awkward situation. “You going over your duties?”He asked in order to fill the tension and silence.

“Well, today is technically my day off, other than making your meals of course.” You chuckle softly, awkwardly tucking some hair behind your ear. Toji wanted to groan at the fact that you had a day to yourself while he had training and more training. He liked the way you tucked your hair behind your ear, a simple gesture has never been so...pretty.

“Good for you. Then I guess you'll have a day off to wander around the compound? Or where do you usually go on your days off?” He questioned lowly, and he could tell your breath hitched in your throat at his prying.

You frowned. “Well, my parents wanted me to meet them today to discuss...potential marriages and suitors.” Your words were dry in your mouth and you hated even entertaining such a prospect. "But they haven't let me know anything. So I doubt be doing anything today other than just hang around the compound.” You rub your neck, feeling a tiny bead of sweat cover it as you reveal such information. You didn't know why you told him but...your lips just slipped.

An arranged marriage? No. Well, maybe. To a man so unworthy of you? A man that will never make you happy?

Toji swallowed as your words sunk in. However, his words remained perfectly calm and neutral as he replied. “I see. From one of the 3 Big Families? If so, what a...what a pleasant offer. You should be happy for such a privilege.” This was a given for you to be married at some point, but so soon? Toji thought he had more time with you.

Your eyes widened and your face went pale, you should be happy to be provided for by a suitor, but you weren't comfortable. You'd prefer being a servant than a wife, being a wife meant procreating and you didn't want that. “I'm unsure yet...but I am happy." You say reluctantly, lying through your teeth.

Toji's vivid imagination was already imagining the things that would happen in your marriage to scum. Your beauty would be wasted on a miserable man and you would waste every single minute of your life raising children that you don't care for. “That's...good. You should take this day to relax. You deserve a good day to just...get away from here..”

He was being oddly nice, he's never this kind, his usual cold and distant demeanor is what made Toji so...overwhelming. And even now when he's being agreeable, he's still overwhelming. “I love the garden here...I never get the chance to fully immerse myself in it. I might just sit in the garden and read or something.” Your tone was oddly casual, a little wistful too.

You spoke with such longing towards the garden. How was it that the mere thought of sitting in the garden made you so dreamy and wistful? Why couldn't you be boring...? Monotonous. Maybe you were...and he was too blinded by your looks…or the way you helped him...or just the way you were so gentle. You were infuriating him right now.

"You'll sit in the garden and read...and do nothing else?” You shrugged your shoulders and nodded. Why is he questioning that? Was that bad or forbidden? “Well, good way to pass the time.” Staring at each other intensely, the atmosphere became thicker and thicker with...something. You swallow down your anticipation, a blush spread across your cheeks. Toji's gaze was as intense as his emotions and aura. The look on your face was so desirable at this moment. “You're being...nice.”

Toji gave you a small grunt at your comment as his eyes narrowed slightly. Why were you trying to get into his head? Were you trying to figure him out? No.. you couldn't be doing it intentionally, could you? “Just do whatever you want, I have more training to do.” He responded curtly.

You give him a nod and shuffle away, grabbing the book that was on the countertop and opening the glass door into the garden. Eyes meeting his, you look back and give him one last weak smile as you head out.

You closed the glass door and the green grass felt lush against your feet, the flowerbeds looked lovely and the sun was shining and casting a warm glow onto the surrounding ecosystems and environment. You sit under a tree to shade yourself from the blazing sun and begin reading, trying to distract yourself from your master. Your truly divine, complicated, and misunderstood master.

-

Toji found himself training even more ruthlessly, he just had too much rage and adrenaline in his body right now. He was ruthless, pushing his body past his apex. He punched through seven punching bags by now. He was distracted, fuck...he was distracted. His mind was filled with thoughts of his servant girl.

He thought of your eyes, your skin...those soft delicate hands as you turned the withered pages of your book. He had to fight the urge to stop all he was doing and just watch you. He stayed put however, he wouldn't allow a servant to take his focus away from training. He must be disciplined.

However, that didn't change the fact that his sex drive was turning insatiable at the moment. He wondered if you fucked before. Probably not. When he does get around to fucking you, he'd have to be gentle….You'd taste so sweet, he knew you would.

-

so glad people are enjoying this! reblogs and comments are always appreciated! tysm :)

Taglist (mwah!) @wo-ming-bai @xduskydollx @chilichopsticks @maskedpacific @kaizxnx @gojoslefttoenail @idreamitski @miraes-world @misscats-mha

[kafkaesque22girlfriend]

The Damned Pt.3

Toji Zenin x fem!reader

Synopsis: forced to get in with the Zenin clan by your parents as a servant, Toji Zenin seemed to damn you more than himself….

mentions of blood, child abuse, Toji being Toji, nightmares.

Toji sat in the kitchen for a while, thinking about his fuck up of a life, his fuck up of a head. He probably should have killed you for even thinking about touching him like that, a simple graze of your fingers under his chin. Soft fingertips, soft skin touching at his bruised and battered skin. He swallowed thickly. That was the first time in his life, that someone else's touch didn't inflict any sort of pain or violence onto his body. He grunts and shakes his head at the thought. He'll be damned if he let anyone in. He's let you this time, but if you even dare to touch him again…

Toji went to his room, wanting to sleep this exhausting day off and forget about this. Sleeping was either hit or miss with him, sometimes he slept like a rock and never wanted to wake up and other times he was restless. It seemed he did drift off for a while when he slipped into bed. However, you didn't have much luck with that….

-

You glanced at your alarm clock and it was 2 am. Your thoughts were pounding and clouded your rational mind, your throat was dry and itchy. Your fingers twitched, unable to forget the feel of Toji's skin at your fingertips. What was he thinking? What did he want? He was so private and reserved. You decided to trudge out of your quarters and head downstairs to the kitchen and get some water. The water did anything to soothe your mind, or anxious body for that matter. You internally scowl at yourself for being like this, for thinking too deeply into something you shouldn't be, someone who you shouldn't be intrigued by: the black sheep, the damned.

You head upstairs and while you go to step into the hallway, you hear grunts coming from Toji's room. He was probably working out late at night again. That's what you assumed but then you heard the pained exhale and the shaky groans. You became concerned and it was a good thing his door was slightly open. The sight made your face scrunch up.

Toji was on his bed, writhing and twitching, soaked in sweat, that t-shirt of his clinging to his body like a second skin. The look on his face...his features were twisted in pain as his fists clenched white by his side. You've never seen him like this before, maybe you just never heard it when you were deeply sleeping...does this happen to him every night?

“Father…stop...” Toji twitched as he said that under his breath. His body shook slightly as his mind and body became filled with fear. This damn nightmare that haunted him whenever he tried to rest his tortured mind.

Without even thinking, you immediately rush over to him and put your hands on his shoulders softly, rocking him awake.

“Toji. Wake up.” You say worriedly, trying to get him awake without being too firm.

Yet it wasn't working. It felt like he wasn't even breathing. He was in a cold sweat, his body was rigid and violent as he was thrashing about. “Please wake up!” You gasped, using more force now, fear was etched on your face seeing him this way. He worsened as he kept his eyes tightly closed.

But something about your voice made him open them for a brief moment. Toji's eyes were filled with terror and his hands clasped themselves around your wrists as his dark green eyes narrowed into mere thin slits.

"Get...get away from me.” He said sharply.

Toji gripped onto your wrists tight, it felt like the bones were about to snap. Fear flashed in your eyes as your breath became heavy, by some saving grace, you were unable to pull your hand away. When you glanced back at your hand, red marks were adoring the place where his grip was.

You were scared. Scared of him right now.

Your face went completely pale and terrified of his demeanour. Toji promised that he would kill you if you ever touched him again...but when he saw what he had done, the way your eyes widened in fear. He didn't like it...he felt uneasy. He had hurt you. But in that moment, any touch to him could have been his father. “Toji...please talk to me.” You plead with him meekly.

"Don't. ..Don't touch me.” He leaned up and his brows lowered alongside his tone.

“Hey. Look at me. It's just me.” You look into his eyes, trying to soothe him in some sort of way to get him to relax. He was still definitely on edge, he took this time to focus his weary gaze on you. You were sweating even if you were wearing a thin nightdress. Your gaze flitted to your wrists, seeing the blossoming red and blue marks on your wrists, you covered it up for now. He didn't need the extra guilt.

“It's just me. Okay?” You whisper, trying to calm him down

The way you spoke to him so gently, even keeping a little distance to make him feel less threatened. He felt... less uneasy now. He looked at you, your eyes, your lips, your neck, your collarbone...His expression softened the smallest amount, not enough for you to notice though.

"You're safe. Nothing can get you...Okay?” You say with caution. He was covered in sweat, his face drained of all colour. You've never seen him like this before...this afraid. Your wrists were still dealing with the aftershocks of him grabbing it like that, but right now that didn't matter. “Please, talk to me.. What happened?”

As you spoke in that soft sweet voice of yours, he felt like he was knocked out and in some sort of daze.

He didn't want to let you in. He didn't want you here...to see him like this. Toji should through you out. But feeling your presence near him was a hell of a lot better than you not being here right now.

God, he needed you right now. And he hated it. He was starting to come back to reality.

Toji watched you get up, his eyes following you carefully as you instinctively fetched him a towel and a new clean shirt. This small act of kindness was appreciated by him, he fucking hated how damn attentive you were. You sit back down on the edge of the bed next to him and give him them. You watch him take his sweaty shirt off, seeing the muscles of his tight and tense chest ripple before you. He swiped the towel all over him, cleaning himself up and then putting the fresh shirt on.

“I've just been having the same nightmare again... It's not that big of a deal.” He mumbled, wanting to downplay this particular thing. His weakness was being chipped open and he very much didn't want that.

He didn't even look at you, too embarrassed by the way he was acting right now.

You lean forward, not truly thinking about what you are doing, but you just feel the need to make him feel grounded to get the truth. You reluctantly put your palms on the sides of his face softly and make him look at you. Toji stilled into your hold...he should hurt you for that, he should...but he couldn't.

“Please don't lie to me.” You whisper. The way he was. Those soft palms...that sad look on your face. The way he was acting like this wasn't a big deal was scaring you even more.

Toji's heart felt like it was being strangled, he swallowed hard and his mouth opened. That was when he stopped thinking and just pulled you tight against him, his arms swallowing you whole. You gasp as he does that, his arms holding you as if he would die if he let go, your eyes widen, arms rigid for a moment. Toji buried his face into your shoulder and that was when you reluctantly wrapped your arms around him too. He let out a soft grunt, keeping a very strong grip on you, God he didn't want to let go, he held you even tighter.

“Woah, hey...it's okay. Tell me what's wrong." Your tone was soft but your voice was shaky.

Toji couldn't stop it, he couldn't help it. His eyes started to brim with tears, and his lip quivered.

“My father...he was beating me again...I'm just...I'm so tired.” He muttered under his breath, wanting to choke on his fear itself. Fuck, why was he admitting that? Why the hell was he crying? Was he that fucking weak?

You exhaled sharply when his words registered, your face went so pale as his heartbeat kept pounding.

“Why didn't you tell me?”

Toji's body felt like it could disintegrate into dust when you pulled him into your arms too, your warm embrace, that soft skin...His breath was catching in his throat and as the tears leaked down his face, he took in your scent. Sweet. So sweet...He had never cried in front of another person in his entire life, but this time he couldn't keep this gaurd up right now, he sobbed onto your shoulder.

“I don't... Never...I don't want them all to find out what he did...I'd- I can't handle it.”

You pulled away to look into his tear-stricken eyes, his face was ashen. He looked so tired and so lost, exhausted of harboring all this pain, bottling it all up. You gaze down at the scars and bruises, you knew the stories...but seeing him like this was jarring. Imagining him as a little boy, being beaten just for not having any cursed energy, being hurt for not being perfect- it made you worry. “I know how difficult it is for you to open up to me about these things...but I can't tell you how much it means the world to me right now.”

The way you looked at him, the way your eyes were filled with nothing but concern for him...it made him confused, yet he couldn't let go of your body, he liked the way the silk of your nightdress felt against his hands was nice. Toji breathed out raggedly.

“I can't...I can't be weak. I have to be strong...Protect myself...since I was a kid.”

Toji watched your face shift from concerned to determined this time.

'You're strong.” You say confidently as if you were stating a simple fact. “Please just stop being so cruel to yourself.” Your pleading voice made Toji hold onto you even tighter.

You thought...he was strong? Liar.

“I'm not. I'm not being cruel to myself. I'm a disgrace, I've made my peace with that now. Don't try to convince me otherwise.” He gritted out through clenched teeth, his jaw was ticking as irritation engorged his veins. Yet, when he took in the scent of your hair, that sweet sugary scent, he felt subdued a little. What did that mean? He snapped out of his thoughts and that's when you opened your lips to speak.

This would be it, he would either kill you on the spot or...accept your proposal.

“Do you want me to...stay with you tonight?”You ask hesitantly, gazing deeply into those lush green eyes.

Toji's eyes snapped to yours, it felt like his breath hitched in his throat and his body tensed up. Do you want to stay here? In his bed? With him? When you're wearing that little slip of yours? Your body...that close? He wanted to throw you out, lash out at you, put you back in your place for ever getting that close to him. He couldn't, not when you looked at him like that. Those lips...you were so close. He could see the little indent on your lips, that small stain of wine soaked on your lips.

"Look we don't have to talk about this in the morning, we can forget it ever happened. But for tonight, let me stay with you, okay?'

Fuck. That weak smile of yours...did something to him. He shouldn't, he shouldn't-

“Stay.” He said under his breath, honestly hoping you wouldn't hear him but you did.

'Okay.' You get on the other side of the bed and under the covers, resting your head on the pillow facing him. Your chest fluttered a bit when you realized what you were doing. You were in your master's bed, so near him, close enough to smell him, to feel that warmth. The whole bed smells like him. Blinking up at him, your eyes glazed over the smallest bit- he noticed a small blush on your cheeks too.

“Go to sleep. I'll be here, okay?”

-

Taglist (mwah!) @wo-ming-bai @xduskydollx @chilichopsticks @maskedpacific @kaizxnx

[kafkaesque22girlfriend]

The Damned Part 2

Toji Zenin x fem! reader

Synopsis: forced to get in with the Zenin clan by your parents as a servant, Toji Zenin seemed to damn you more than himself….

mentions of blood, child abuse, Toji being Toji.

Training for Toji was as gruelling as ever, blood splattered the stone-cold courtyard, the cursed spirits and the sparring he was engaging in combat messed up his straying mind as much as his stupidly strong body. He was angry and frustrated, but when wasn't he? He couldn't help but wonder if it was the interaction from earlier, this weird push and pull he had with his servant, that made him more in his head than usual.

But by the end of it, he pulled through without dying or losing too much blood, he was strong like that. His opponents withdrew. Yet by God's will, his family only saw weakness and inferiority. All he was met with was with disgust. At this point, he felt-numb. The same old thing. Training. Abuse. Blood. Humiliation. So much blood. It was the only thing he knew. Yet despite that, there was that small thing that was piercing his usual thought pattern.

After training was finished, Toji's body felt brittle and exhausted, no bones were broken today though. He was covered in blood, his own or someone else's, he's not sure, nor does he care. He trudged up to his room, desperate to clean himself up and just leave another shitty day behind before it came for him again. When he opened his door, he was greeted with the sight of you folding his laundry, and cleaning his room. He saw your eyes widen and your voice gets lost in your throat as you both stared at each other for a moment.

“Are you okay?” You whisper reluctantly. He looked like hell like he was dragged into the pits of it. Blood adorned him in pearls. It seemed destitute to ask at this point, but every day after training.. you always do. That felt slightly off track though.

His penetrating stare met yours, the first thing he noticed was your eyes, the way they widened with that concern that it always does. What he didn't understand was why his eyes flitted to your lips momentarily, they were slightly agape...only just. They were full. And...shaped. Toji quickly cleared his throat and snapped out of his head, reverting cold as per. “I'm fine.” He said curtly, with a grunt.

“Do you need the nurse?” You ask, it was routine at this point.

“No.” He grunted simply.

You observed him, he's never come back like this before, not for a long time and he was playing it off like he was fine.

“Let me run you a shower.” You offer politely. You knew he wanted you to be rude to him, to not give a single damn about him but you really couldn't when he was this beat up. He glares at you, those blazing green eyes ready to lash out as blood streams down his forehead, but before he can, you speak. “I swear to God if you tell me to be a heartless monster to you right now when you're covered in blood I'll kick you in the face.” Your words came out unexpectedly from your mouth. But with him, you always had to hammer in your point in a way he could understand: violence. The thought soured you slightly.

Now this...for Toji, was a surprise.

“Kick me in the face?” He scoffed. He felt the need to test you, to let you know what kind of a man he was.“Do it. You'll be dead as soon as you graze me.”

You knew his threat was all too genuine, he was perfectly capable of being a murder machine to someone like you, he wouldn't even think twice about it. Instead of dwelling on that, you grab him by the arm and drag him to his en suite bathroom. “ I know better than to kick a man while he's down.” You grumble, brows pinching together... you've never been so direct with him before, never this challenging. He should have killed you just for grabbing him like that, but Toji held back, letting you do this. That touch of yours, gentle yet firm. Interesting.

Toji watches your fingers start the shower, you even hand him a clean towel, freshly laundered. He watches your gaze soften as you see the extent of his bruises and cuts. You muster out a soft smile and close the bathroom door. Toji's face remained the same as he grunted, carefully peeling off his clothes and stepped into the shower. The water soothed his exhausted body from the blood caked to his skin, he stood there, thinking.

Thinking, nothing and everything.

He wondered for a moment if he was that much of a monster in his past life to deserve this one.

He wondered if his mother ever decided to speak to him again.. would he run into her arms and beg to be loved by her?

He wondered if his father would beat him as he did a boy if he ever saw him like this now.

He wondered if you pitied him, as his servant, you saw it all...

He wondered if your tongue could be sharp when provoked.

He wondered if those gentle lips...could…

Toji snapped out of it after a few moments, he took a deep breath and frowned. He turned the shower off and stepped out of it, drying himself with the towel too. He noticed a fresh pair of clothes on the sink and put them on, his hair still slightly damp even after fluffing it with a towel.

As he exited the bathroom, you turned around from your folding and blinked up at him, acutely dazed. That black compression shirt was a staple for a reason, it was simple and comfortable...and he seemed good with it.

“I've almost finished your laundry. I'll be done soon.”You tell him.

Your voice brought this unwanted feeling to his gut, he didn't want to think about it. Instead, he gave you the appropriate response, he just nodded and spoke with a harsh voice. 'Don't take too long then.' Toji sat on his bed, clearly exhausted, lifting his shirt to examine the cuts and bruises...maybe he did need stitches. You glance at his bare torso and swallow thickly. “How was training...?” You mutter, trying to make polite conversation.

Toji watched you work from the corner of his eye, seeing your fingers fold up clothes perfectly, without creases with such ease. Those band-aids on your fingers though still got him wondering why the hell you were lying to him. You were pretty perfect at doing these tasks...yet you were clumsy and burned yourself? Toji didn't like that he was reading so much into it, he didn't care.

“Training was usual. The only thing that keeps me sane is the fact that I'll be away from you.” He muttered huskily with an indignant frown.

You grimaced at him, your expression becoming defeated but you covered it up expertly. Your brows furrow as you keep a stiff upper lip.

“Sorry for prying then.” You say firmly as you take the basket and head out of his room.

Your soft eyes met with his one last time when you closed the door. The door being closed meant that he could let himself go, so he could think. God, his brain was so loud yet his body was so numb, it was torture...he desperately needed to alleviate the pain. Yet he didn't want to, would he rather feel it all… Or slowly become nothing...an empty hollow of a person. He would choose mind-piercing pain, for now, he can't lose his soul just yet.

-

It was almost dinner time.

You were preparing Toji's food as the wind howled outside, the beautiful moonlight peering through the panes. It was beautiful and for a moment, you felt as if you weren't in the Zenin Compound. You bent over the kitchen island, snacking on a few berries you picked from the garden as you were ticking off the tasks you had done today. You lick the strawberry juice off of your fingers as you were absolved in your list. Toji raised his brow as he watched you from the doorframe, seeing your mouth tinted with the red of the berries, looking the most carefree he had ever seen you. You glance up for a split second and jolt up, a little embarrassed from how casual you were in his presence. Toji found this slightly amusing but he kept a straight face.

You glance over at the basket of freshly picked fruit from the Zenin garden. “I picked these from the garden, they looked delicious, I couldn't help myself.” You chuckle nervously, finding your mouth to be explaining yourself for no obvious reason. He sits on the kitchen island stool in front of you as you plate his food and give it to him.

Toji didn't speak. And it made you even more worried than usual.

‘Maybe you should go see the nurse. Your bruises and cuts seem quite bad.’ You say under your breath, honestly hoping he wouldn't hear you as you start cleaning up the kitchen. You popped a blueberry in your mouth as you regarded him with those intent yet soft eyes. He glanced at your lips as you took in the small fruit. He needed a moment to stop thinking about that and focus on your comment.

“I said I'm fine. So I'm fine.” He grunted lowly, irritation smothering his features.

You pause for a second to think about how to approach this, and you sigh. “Okay. I'll trust you.” The words were soft as they left your mouth, yet your face was still pretty nervous. Toji's presence was just...overwhelming. You finish washing the plates and decide to treat yourself to a glass of wine, you knew you shouldn't really be doing that, but you were so nervous in front of him that you needed a drink to calm yourself down.

Toji watched you and didn't say anything, even though he should. The wine tinted your lips as you pull away from the rim of the glass. It soaked in on those...full lips. He looked away when he noticed himself staring, but his thoughts didn't disappear. You were surprised when he didn't scold you for drinking but he glared at you, not in his usual intimidating way, but as if he was inspecting your face.

“Are you okay? Do I have something on my face?” You rubbed your fingers over your lips, wondering if you had wine dribbling all over you that you were too nervous to notice.

“No..No, you don't have anything on your face.” He responded lowly, not even sparing you another look.

“Oh, okay.” You wipe your lips again anyway. The silence between you both was getting thicker and all you wanted was an out on the situation. “Well, I'm going to bed. Goodnight.” You say politely as you begin making your way to head out.

When you spoke, it got him out of his thoughts. However, he did feel a sense of disappointment when you said you'd go to bed now. He wanted you to stay, for some reason he didn’t care to identify.

"No. Stay. Sit." He ordered bluntly, but his face softened when his head motioned towards the stool next to him.

You gulp slightly, you hesitantly listen to his orders as you sit yourself politely beside him on the stool. “Oh. Okay. Why?” You ask curiously.

“Because I don’t want to be alone right now.” Toji’s face was stoic as those out of character words fell from his lips, as if he was dying to say them. Toji couldn’t really grasp that he said that himself.

“Oh…” You let out softly. This was the first time he was being this way with you, letting you know how he actually felt…Wow. “If that’s what you want…”

The fact that you didn't run away or ignore him felt…different.... And now, with you staying, you were within arm's reach from him. He immediately leaned forward to lean on his arm. He noticed you were nervous and he sighed out. "Just sit and relax, yeah?"

Your eyes widened, unable to contain their shock at his…odd gentleness. Why was he acting this way? Did he just want you to sit still and be quiet? What was it he wanted from you?

What was worse was that your mouth ran faster than your brain.

“I know you always say you can do everything yourself but…why do I get the feeling that that is not true?” You ask him wearily, staring into his forest green eyes. Your demeanour was oddly serious as you asked him such a thing.

Your tone made him raise a brow, you seemed like you were genuinely worried about him. He hated that feeling. Your eyes locked onto his and all he could do now was stare at you. You looked so…concerned with that worried look on your face, and yet he couldn't bring himself to even speak a single word. After a long moment of silence, he spoke up. His tone was stern. “What are you talking about?"

“You know what I’m talking about. You’re here wounded and in pain, yet you convince me and yourself you don’t need to see the nurse, why do you do that?” You ask softly, glancing at him. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest idea to question him like this but your curiosity outwon you.

His brows lowered at you, his tone taking on an annoyed and angry tone. How dare you worry about him. How dare you think he couldn't handle being bloodied and bruised. After the hell, he’s been through, it was all he could handle at this point. “I said I don't need to see the nurse. I don't. Do you think I'm some weak ass who can't handle any pain and suffering?"

You feel his anger radiating off of him. “No. Not at all.” Your eyes widen, taken aback. “I-I know you can…it’s just…” You trail off. But in that moment, you slowly stand up from your stool and reluctantly place your fingers under his chin, looking down at him. You trace the bruise on his temple and eyebrow softly. “You’re always covered in blood…why are you always covered in blood?” Yoy whisper, you know exactly why, it was a rhetorical question but it hit him hard.

The feeling of your fingers on his face made his breath catch in his throat, he stilled into your touch and tensed up. A large majority of him wanted to slap your hand away and break it and just lash out at you for doing such a thing….Yet…you looked so beautiful and so worried...And of course, that was a thought he was trying to stay away from. But the way you whispered your words…felt like daggers through him, like he was being torn apart. “I'm a Zenin. Bloody and bruised is... Not unusual for me...”

“I’m sorry you have to go through this.” You say softly, eyes glazed over in concern and pull your hand away from him and walk away. You walk up the stairs and into yourservant quarters, ready to sleep this weird day away.

Your touch sent so many emotions through him and now that you were walking away, it felt like a wave of disappointment and anger and hatred ran through him. He tried to shake it off and keep a stoic demeanor on, but... He suddenly wasn't feeling so stoic. Your concern was just so genuine.

He fucking hated it.

-

taglist (mwah!): @wo-ming-bai @xduskydollx

[kafkaesque22girlfriend]

The Damned P.1

Toji Zenin x fem! reader

Synopsis: forced to get in with the Zenin clan by your parents as a servant, Toji Zenin seemed to damn you more than himself….

Being a servant in the Zenin household was not for the weak-willed or the weak-minded, it took strong foundations of a strong mind to survive within these endless, lavishly adorned walls of the Zenin Compound. One of the three big clans in Jujutsu Society, blossoming the pure, clean bloodline of the strongest sorcerers in the modern and past Jujutsu eras.

Your parents pushed you into being here, young but not ditsy, focused yet polite. The Zenin really didn't care, they just wanted the free labour, but you did get a roof over your head when the Zenin took you in as a servant. Little did you know that your parents literally sent you off to serve strangers and live with them for God knows how long. Your cursed technique was strong and your parents wanted the Zenin to know that and get in with the family, even if you started as a lowly servant. To infiltrate? To gather information? To be married off? To destroy from the inside…? You didn’t know, nor did you care at this point.

The clan leader, Naobito Zenin, sent you off on your way as if he didn't give a single thought, as if he was washing away the dirt on his hands. You were young and inexperienced and you didn't deserve the reward of the bigger duties so you were sent Toji Zenin's way, the black sheep, the damned one in the Zenin clan. You would be the personal servant of Toji Zenin.

Which leads you here now, standing by the foot of his bed, ready to wake him up like you usually do. Late. It was nearing 11 am and the clan needed to be in the training quarters in about half an hour. You glanced at Toji, seeing the drool escape from his mouth, his hair roughed up, and the sheets that barely covered his naked chest. These were the only times you felt Toji not be intimidating. You opened up the curtains and the windows, letting the fresh air ventilate the room. He grunted when the light hit his eyes at the most perfectly uncomfortable angle.

“Get the hell out.” He groaned angrily as he covered his eyes with his bulky forearm.

“Rise and shine, Master Toji.” You say with a faint warmness, anything to keep this civilised and polite knowing he could lash out quickly. The light seeps through the room and bathes it in the sunlight. He looked peaceful lying there, it's shame you had to wake him. He never looked so peaceful while he was awake, and, sadly, we all know the reason why. Toii grumbled and groaned, lifting his arm from his eyes.

“Can't even fuckin' sleep in this damn house.” He opened his eyes and was met by the sight of the sun hitting against your silhouette. He then looked at your face and rolled his eyes, a sour expression filled his face once more. “And do me a favour, and don't call me 'master' if you don't want your teeth punched in.” Toji fucking hated that, fucking hated it all.

You immediately frown. “It's not like I want to call you that, you are my superior. I work for you, I have to refer to you as that.” You explain to Toji as if he didn't already know it clear as day. “Would you like me to bring in a gong and wake you up like that?” You say, a small smile tugging at your lips at the insane hypothetical.

“I don't give a damn if you have to call me that, just drop it.” He growled against his pillow, glaring at you in the process. Toji then sat up from the bed, resting his head on his right hand as he looked at you blankly. He couldn't help but believe that there was some charm to you in how you were so polite. Your expression had an innocence to it that he had never come across in the cesspit that was the Zenin compound. “If you dare bring a gong in here, I'll break it and then your ribs.”

You knew that he was very much capable of doing that, so you didn't push further. But your mouth ran faster than your brain.

“Well then Toji, if you break my ribs...who will be making you breakfast every morning? Speaking of which, if you want food, I'm making some. So get up.” You say a little more firmly this time, you've never been this challenging towards your superiors, part of you wants to take it back, what if the clan deject you for being disrespectful? You frown slightly and leave the room to head back to the kitchen and finish preparing his breakfast.

The first thing he did when you left the room was let out a groan of frustration. It was always like this, you were being too much of a pushover to him. Always too kind. That was what irritated him the most. Maybe he was projecting. He needed to stop thinking that. Toji got dressed into his montsuki and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and freshen himself up, he hated how every day started the same.

-

Soon, you heard his footsteps walking towards the kitchen, a few seconds later his hulking figure appeared at the doorway, leaning against the frame as he crossed his arms.

“I can make my own breakfast.” He declared in a low and husky voice.

“No, you can't.” You say politely but your words carry some weight to them that resounded throughout the whole room.

Each clan member had a specific section of the compound to themselves, so you had an entire kitchen to yourself to prepare food for Toji. He couldn't make his breakfast even if he tried, servants were solely assigned that duty.

You glance up at him leaning against the doorway, you finish plating up his Teishoku and serve them, you place it on the kitchen island in front of you. “Coffee sir-? I mean Toji..” You say softly, fumbling over your words but correcting yourself.

Your words irked him like nothing else, you were so nice to him. He loathed it. What made you so kind in the face of someone like him? “Quit this 'sir' bullshit.” He was trying to play it cool, his eyebrows slightly raised as he spoke. Internally he was confused by your ongoing kindness, you were like this from day one. He didn't like the fact that he had to work around your kindness.

“I apologize. Bad habit.” You let out a nervous chuckle, trying to ignore the burning green gaze zeroing in on you. Your expression was trying to hide the fact that you were uncomfortable with his presence. Toji was a little more than impressed by how you were handling him like this still. After all, most people would be scared shitless already.

As you hand him his coffee, Toji notices the band-aids on your fingers. The skin looked red and brittle and it made him raise an eyebrow. “What happened to them? And don't say 'nothing' or 'it's nothing.” Toii muttered under his breath, trying to distance himself but still be curious at the same time.

“Oh, I burned myself by accident, the stove was too hot.” You respond a little curtly, turning your back and starting cleaning up and clearing away. It was clear you didn't want to talk about it, the real reason was rather daunting as Naoya Zenin threatened to break your fingers because you didn't do a task correctly.

Toji watched with intent simmering eyes as you turned your back to him. The first thing was that your reasoning behind it was obvious bullshit. You were lying through your teeth but quite frankly he didn't car enough to pry even further. "You're really clumsy, aren't you?”

Your shoulders relax as you sigh out, thankful he wasn't reading into it. “I am...I am. ..quite clumsy.” You breathe out.

You both know damn well you were the opposite but for now, it'll do. You turn around and take his empty tray once he finishes eating, giving him an agreeable smile. “Your training starts soon.”

Toji raised his eyebrow as an unamused look was engrained on his face. Why was his rudeness not affecting you in any way? Maybe you weren't listening to a thing he said, which made him even more annoyed. So he decided to try another approach. He just...didn't like how you...talked to him. “Can you stop being so polite to me? I never understand why servants are like this to their masters. Just do your job and stop acting like this.” He grunted.

You turn around and glared at him, annoyed that he didn't realize that you’re just doing your job. Anything less than perfection and obedience would be punished. But then again...who the hell were you to argue with a Zenin? “If that's...what you prefer.” You shrug your shoulders. You thought maybe he would appreciate some form of kindness considering the way his family actively despised him.

“Good...because there's no reason to be nice to me when I'm anything but.” He warned me you lowly. Toji was expecting you to break and lash out at him. Yet your reaction and expression left him feeling a little off-put. Why? Why weren't you saying anything? Why aren't you letting him walk all over you? He didn't like those thoughts.

Reluctantly, you nod your head, lips thinning into a straight line, and you try to stay as neutral as possible. If this is what he wanted, who the hell were you to argue? After finishing cleaning the kitchen, you make a move to leave the room. As you made your way to leave, Toji couldn't help but notice that your back was as straight as an arrow. Your body looked so proper and elegant, unlike others. Just your simple back in that tight-fitting kimono was enough to make him stare a few moments longer than necessary. That's when he called out to you and spoke with a neutral expression: “Do you always have to be so proper and respectful?”

Yet his voice was...softer.

You stop in your tracks. “I'm just doing my job.” You reply quietly, trying to get him to grasp that you're just doing what you're supposed to do. You walk away and leave him wordless from the kitchen, letting your words linger in his brain a lot longer than he should have.

-

pt 2 coming soon, get ready for angst and sexy times in the near future.