kaill32

[kaill32]

I had an old Harry Potter fan fic planned out with Ayin and Carmen as the main characters being 'reincarnated'( In other words, the books fell out of angelas library after she got slashed by the claw, losing two limbs in the process and gets thrown into the forbidden forest and gets picked up by Mr. Double door) as the next door neighbor of harry and in later years moves next door to the family house of the Blacks and remains their position as the next door neighbor.

Their adopted parents is a mad woman. Who does extremely ridiculous shit as her side hustle to support the household, but is extremely calm about anything she does, and a very tired but loving man, who is a psychiatrist.

The idea of taking in the two babies sitting in front of their house in a very fancy basket is her idea.

Both knows there is something going on with their next door neighbor and harry, you don't exactly forget thousands of snakes climbing into every surface of their house just to get to the next door.

Ayin basically immediately tries to figure out magic after they got into hogwards, Carmen being the psycho analysis addicted freak show Figures out something is wrong with their DADA Professor with his behavior patterns not matching up and just tried the fucking confront him about it. Dragging Ayin along with her. Who was making friends with ms.bookworm the effort to mold her into the perfect wing founder who has the knowledge the dream and the ruthlessness to see anything through.

Thankfully they did it in the school library which have a new librarian.

Yes, you guessed it. It's magical construct Roland!

Anyway thats it for now I need to dig my brain a bit deeperto pull more shit out. And I basically left this one to rot because I didn't have time

[kaill32]

immortality sucks because going to hell or heaven is already immortality, you are supposed to stay there forever. Everyone could be having the best fucking party in heaven or in Satans Kinky skin stripping torture ballroom but I'm just here on this boring rock.

And if it's just nothingness that's just immortality but heat dead of the universe instead of now.

All three options are fine. I just really hate this rock

[kaill32]

My hentai filled brain wants to sit on the lap of kong lu with all the heishou watching

[kaill32]

Ok, so

Why does dess have shoes

She is a deer monster. None of her family have shoes. They can't even wear shoes.

Why does she have shoes.

[kaill32]

So do we actually even know if dess is a deer monster or not?

And does papyrus actually even exist in Deltarune as "Papyrus"?

Like, Even taking into the account of papyrus being a shut in loner theory, it is still very suspicious that sans says he doesn't have a brother and the house being seemingly empty.

Where is the guy? And if he doesn't exist yet. who turns into papyrus, who or where does he come from?

... Actually, why is there even actual shoes in dess's room when they are deer monsters.

noelle doesn't wear shoes, Carol doesn't wear shoes, Rudy doesn't wear shoes.

Why does dess have shoes, if she has hoofs for feet

Actually, for the entire hometown there is very few people that actually wears proper shoes

But for mayor holidays household specifically there is no reason for dess which presumably should be a deer monster, to wear shoes, because it would fall off.

... What if dess isn't a deer monster.

What if dess is a human.

What if papyrus is dess.

... That is one theory

The other one is what if papyrus is the egg man.(A lot of side materials references egg papyrus and the tree after all)

[kaill32]

The new fnaf game is so funny what do you mean William Afton the child murder maniac who have less than two brain cells is committing contract fraud and corporate sabotage.

[kaill32]

I find it so funny that when I lay out the negative qualities of the sinners, I find it overlap with a lot of negative qualities from characters I hate.

Is this the mythical good writing?

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“We hope this email finds you well” babe, the only emails I hope find me well are the ones from Archive of Our Own

[kaill32]

Had some thoughts about why Roland didn't distort yet didn't get Ego over the entire game other than the black Slience fight.

Came to a conclusion

Over the entire course of the game up until his black silence fight he has been always and always hiding behind the phrase this is this and that is that [His revenge, If you can call that one, is not a revenge, it's a blind massacre where he just goes to whatever target he wants to take out his anger on. Usually those of something important they hold dear

theres a theme within his targets

"Family"

He specifically killed the researcher after the guy says he has a family he still needs to take care of. He specifically Burns down the house of The puppeteer with his attempted revival of his child still in there He specifically targets the middle because the middle is one big family

He evn goes after Verg, because he has a "family" and only leaving when having no excuse to act out his anger. He is not looking for revenge

This has never been about revenge Never about the revenge for angelica at least

This is about his perception of fairness He wants to take out his anger on everyone else around him, to make them feel the same miserable feeling He feels. to make everyone suffer because he had suffered, to make everyone feel the sorrow he feels, This has always been his revenge against the city because he has lost something of his own, not because angelica needs to be avenged. She specifically didn't want Roland and to fixate himself over her death

Somehow this didn't result in his distortion Why? Because he did not face the reason why he did everything

He has always hide behind the line of this is this and that is that, I am doing my revenge, and all those suffering that they are feeling is all theirs. I did not take any enjoyment out of it. Because this is this, that is that. He never ever faced his own desires of gettingother people to suffer his pain because he has always and always hid behind the reason that angelica needs to be avenged

because he doesn't confront himself, He hides behind the reason that he is doing this for others, he doesn't get distortion.

Because Carmen hates those who hide their self behind the veil of selflessness.

and you say, well if this doesn't result in him getting distortion, what about ego. Look at his state That was showed in natural science floor realization You tell me that man has thought about what he will do if he doesn't get his revenge or if he gets his revenge

If he gets the revenge, he is done, he is dead. There is no reason for him to continue, so he will die there. He doesn't get ego because he has no reason to continue anymore. He doesn't have a will to live on. In fact, this state of him continues even after tiph realization

tiph's Realization merely makes him think that may be maybe there will be a future after he gets revenge. And clearly he forgot about all his lessons after he got it. look at ending B

he doesn't get ego because he has no reason to continue his life after the revenge. He is done and he will be dead

Because this is this and that is that.

he will do this for angelica, he will obviously get his revenge against all that has wronged him and this would be this. anything after this point? that will be that. he doesn't need to care about that he doesn't need to think about that, and if he gets to that point, well, he'll figure it out. And better yet, he will be dead because why continue anymore when all he cared about is dead?

There is no future, this is no facing yourself.

Roland who runs and runs, killing others for his own pain...

only then, when he beaten down, when he is nothing but a easy to kill thing on the floor, that he is granted mercy.

he is given kindness.

and...he sees, that he doesn't need to do this anymore, he cannot do this anymore.

so, he no longer has the obesstion to turn distorted.

he will only look forward, with his friend. to a future he doesn't even know if it will exist...

well, he have time, he will figure it out when he gets there

that is this, this is that, isn't that right?

[kaill32]

So this is some midnight Carmen thoughts, I'm definitely bored and I can't sleep so here I am

Everyone still thinks Carmen was still that person who dreams of greatness and peace, Connecting everyone in the city so that they can understand each other and love themselves....

She hasn't been that person for a long time, a long long time. She doesn't allow herself to be that person because she believes she is the one who messed everything up.

Her ideology has shifted majorly three times over the course of the games of project moon.

In Lobotomy Corp she was that person, a person who dreams of greatness peace and prosperity between everyone and anyone. the unfairness of everything toppled and the pain of existence eased, as we all hope a better tomorrow... In other words, the eradication of the disease of the mind. That's what she wanted.

This idea was shattered upon the moment of Enoch's death and completely tossed out by her the moment she slit her own wrist.

Because she realized something.

that her desire to escape the weight of her dream by death is selfish beyond belief.

Now, I'm going by what I think her thoughts are. So this is not entirely my opinion that suicide is escapism but(By the way, if you follow the idea of Deltarune is exploring escapism methods by dark worlds, it will one way or the other handle the topic of suicide. Maybe it already does by the frequent tearing of Kris's Soul.) But the moment she realized she had wanted to live... She knows that suicide and death wasn't her goal and doing this. Isn't her goal when she slit her own wrist... She didn't want death so what does she want?

She wants to escape the expectation of everyone, because everyone expects her to finish what she has started... And by the death of Enoch, she realized that she can never handle the stress.

So she selfishly ran away she selfishly pushed her dream onto the shoulder of her loved ones.

At this stage, her ideology has turned into one ofeveryone and anyone will be selfish. It is what human nature are because even she is no exception. Every good day is a way to conquer themselves patting themselves on the back saying they are good. No human have done an act of good purely for the sake of others.

How do I got that this is her mentality? Philips Sinclair.

There is resentment and spite leaking out of every passage. She describes him withknowing and wishing him break apart and revealed a selfish core of human nature. The fact he rejects such notion irritates and annoys her to no end.

And why did she get this mentality?

Did you forget the 10000 years?

10000 years of selfishness, of his selfishness.

The suffering of her friends and innocence because he is selfish.

The death of thousands upon thousands of people, In the war that is selfishly started by all parties, fought with selfish reasons, creating a monument of mankind's greed and selfishness.

The creatures of selfishness of obsessions dragged from the depths of hell because the ideals of one man who cannot let the failure of her dreams stand. So he selfishly Dug up the corpses of all her friends. Put them into metal boxes to torture for eternity, to torture them for their selfishness and desires, to pull them in mindless and endless pain.

She sees the man who selfishly create a life Thinking you are comfort him, and discard it the moment she it is no longer to think he had wanted.

She sees the woman in black who tears down everything and anything born of her dreams because the selfishness within her desires the pain of others.

She sees the fixer she had once. Respected fall into mindless violence. Because Her selfish desire to play the role of hero has failed, so she now turns the play upon others who had did no wrong.

She sees those who have been ruined by their selfishness one way or the other, she sees the pain of her past friends who are undone by selfishness, Their selfishness and his selfishness.

And all of this... Must be because of her selfishness.

It must be, it cannot be anything else. This is her singing this is her selfishness laid bear upon the world and it faster within everyone and tainted everything she had done into this... Pit of hell.

There is no other explanations, There is no other reasons.

If she didn't succumb to her own selfishness, He wouldn't have to bear the pain alone he wouldn't have created the machine have been The cause of white led woman in black arrived and killed everything she had held dear, She is the one to blame, she must be the one to blame for if not she has no other choices...

this is her mentality right until the end of the ruina.

Selfishness runs in the vein of every man and woman, and she cannot accept that it is not true. It is the disease of the mind lay bear to the world and it is the nature of old man and it must be laid bare for she cannot be the only one that is selfish to the core...

She cannot be the only one, she must be right, Her truth is the only truth of the world and she will make it so.

Sounds awfully like... a distortion. right?

You might ask, This is a lot of assumptions of her mentality.

If the evidence of Philip Sinclair is not enough, I can provide another example.

Xiao's talk with her.

What was she doing the entire time?

Trying to convince Xiao, That she had led everyone to death because of her want to revenge Her husband.

That she had ruined everything because of her own selfishness. To the point she had neglected every one around her that all are trying to live... So she must run, she must leave.

She have thrown away so muchlive so much people because of her own selfish desire. So why not be selfish one more time and live on, live on, for the memories of those chefpushed to the deaf live on and run, leave the place that will be her tomb... Even if all of you cared about has died, Even if you have live another day and another day in but pointless despair and meaningless. Is it not better to live? than to throw your life away?

...

But then she was shut up. Because Miris said, that they all died willingly for her.

They made those sacrifices, not unwittingly.

The entirety of liu Section one have burned where leon live for the dream of their director. They have been loyal man and woman and they will not regret their decision... So now what she needs to do is not to run for love will be stomping on everyone's. Dream and desires she needs to walk forward and fight again. So that the star shall be torned from the sky...

...

Now we come to her second change of ideology, where her theory of all humans are inherently selfish was challenged.

how was it challenged?

By Angela's willing sacrifice.

something carman has failed to do and was afraid of so long ago. So much so she put a child in her place and killed him.

Angela, Successfully turning into a human decided that she will willingly throw away her life despite the fact that she has the most reason to be selfish to do what she wanted, because she has been robbed of everything.

Yet she doesn't.

She smiles and accepts the incoming oblivion.

Common had firmly believe that no one is not selfish. Everyone do things purely because there is something to gain from it. Because she after her suicide believes she is one of those people... And now, Someone with her own brain map someone who has every reason to act like her, To be swallowed by her selfish desire... did not do so.

She cannot accept that.

So she intervened.

And that is the entire reason Carmen decided to have the kether realization, it was to force Angela to accept that everyone is selfish. And everyone has some sort of desire wholy for the beneficion of the self.

And she believe it firmly because we all have the instinct to live so by her definition, selfishness is inherent.

... And yet.

Angela succeeded.

She genuinely genuinely had wanted to throw away her life. So that all those that she have affected will live their happy lives. She has accepted that even if she will be gone...she will do this.

This is her first decision and last decision as a human.

And there are some really symbolic shit about howthe moment she made this decision she is no longer human. like this decision cannot be made by something that is human.

But we are side tracking if we go into that so let's go back to carmen.

So now we come to the limbus age.

From a few glimpses we see of her and most of the dialogues inidentity uptie stories.

She must have mellowed dramatically from how she wants to worse. Just by comparing Philip sinclair against everyone else that has her Narration.

Like holy hell, The fact that she only used leading questions when talking with most of the distorting and egoing cast are really really showing how much better she got because her current worldview got hit.

And by the direction dante is going, who are genuinely trying to help others despite all the pain it brings them, there will be another hit on her world view soon enough and I'm all there for it maybe she'll finally turn normal again, who knows.

Anyway if you read through all that, thank you for reading my train of thought and mumbo jumble, Sorry if I disappear at random intervals on tumblr. But I just kind of switches between tumblrs discord and random places where I can talk about project moon. So.

[kaill32]

you know.

Looking at the fucking trailer for limbus company specifically the TGS one

the seed goes down, the tree of light grows and countless branches blossom into the three games, with most of them diverging into it. And those that do not branching off into dead ends.

And given the mirror time restriction, although we are still limited in view, we have already seen some dead end words already.

Have you forgotten? Lobotomy Corp A and B endings? and Library A and B endings?

Those are dead ends, The self implosion of the corporation and the seed of death of the second L Corp ending, And incomplete seed in both library bad endings, Leading into the city going back to its cycles again.

We have already seen dead end worlds. The tree of ligit is a very likely possibility but not the only possibility.

The seed is a very possible Outcome of L Corp...Because the possibility is fucking manipulated by Ayin with the script.

but it doesn't mean that there isn't bad endings, He just boosted the likelyhood of the good ending 10 fold by repeating it again and again.

He forced an infinite number of possibilities down to fucking 3, With the other two being purely because you didn't Complete the script.

That is fucking impressive.

He forcefully synchronized all the time lines into three with the other two purely existing because X didn't Complete it.

He forcibly created a quantum timeline lock, like the Fate universe one, to force the existence of the seed into every single universe, with only the matter of time being a problem for it.

And if the seed fails?

Those timelines simply self destruct. By the hands of Adam

And lobcorp ending A? That one can be reversed by TT2, which means there is only two possibilities for Lobotomy corporation to wnd, either it makes it or it destroys all of the world.

The existence of Lobotomy corporation is a time lock. There is no other possibilities.

Because all other possibilities dead.

Killed by the script.

Killed by Adam.

Killed by Ayin.

Although the city survives the Armageddon given by Lobotomy cooperation ending b. It is not the same one as the one we know of.

The corporations are no longer the same, the world might no longer have a high population, everyone has the risk of turning into a monster. The head is the only pillar that remains of the household with every other room collapsed or burned into ashes. There is nothing that remains to link it into the seed of light world. And this is why we never see a mirror world where the seed doesn't exist.

Because everything is different, There is no link between the two words to pull the possibility up. It is too far gone.

The sinners might not even be alive in those timelines, And even if they are, what are we going to pull up? monsters? demons? creatures that more resembles abnormalities than anything? If we are tapping into that timeline, the only thing we're gonna get is distortions.

It is the collapse of humanity. It is the White Midnight, doom of the world brought by the arrogance of man for the continuation of stagnation and cycles. the end of the world.

Lobotomy corporation is a coin filp.

With the continuation of humanity as a whole on the line.

[kaill32]

Right, thoughts on Canto 6

Sooooo, canto 6 ey? that was a ride, don't you think?

Worlds upon worlds where there can be nothing but pain and suffering for every single Heathcliff and Cathy...yet all that just needs a single strand of courage for it to end, for them to finally stop looking into their own mirrors and try to find each other in them.

So, thoughts, thoughts, how about a long talk about the two spot lights? that is fun and hip with us old 20 something farts right?

here goes!

Heathcliff the Erlking, and every Heathcliff for that matter is a coward.

For they refuse to actually reach towards their love, actually looking for the love they despreatly wanted, all because they are afraid of Rejection. until its all too late, until they ran out the Wuthering Heights and doomed everyone in it.

They cannot bring themselves to go back to Cathy, for they are afraid of Her rejection.

So. He broken his own heart, and in the process, borke hers.

Cathy, Every Cathy, is a coward.

They cannot say what they wanted to Heathcliff, and when they saw that the boy they loved got worse every single day he is next to her, she wanted to help him...yet did not have the courage to just knee down and pick the mud child out of the ground, she wanted to use Linton to do it, and...thought Heathcliff will just be fine with that.

She can not bring herself to reach towards Heathcliff until it is all too late, for she is afraid of heathcliff rejecting her.

So, She broken her own heart, and in the process, broke his.

They are mirrors of each other, their pain and suffering bring froth a suicide in the scale of impossibily, to kill themselves in every world possible, so that their other half can be happy.

...They did not even think about that other worlds are not their own.

Canto VI is a rejection to the argument of "If there is a mutiverse, My action do not matter and/or can be justified, for there will always be a me that will do just the same." using the logic of individualism.

"Why would my action within this world matter when there is another world with another me who did the same?"

"Because it is your world, it is your action, if I say a person like you did one thing and failed, would you just never try it?"

"If every world with me existing end up only me and my love suffring, who's to say this one is any diffrent?"

"you are the one who can say what will happen to you, if you do not put in the effort, there will be no changes, there will be no diffrent."

"Accept it, it is your fate, every other you is the same."

"Bullshit. they are NOT you, and they will never BE you. Only you gets the say on what is your fate, only you can make the changes, and there is no other you, just look alikes. If you accept that there will be no changes, then it will be set in stone."

Every Heathcliff thinks that "Cathy will never accept me as who I am."

Every Cathy thinks that "Heathcliff will never accept me as who I am."

Every Heathcliffs saw every other Heathcliff, and looked in disgust, saying those other Heathcliff killed their Cathy, with the same conviction like those Heathcliff killed the Queen of the Erlking by their hand which where universes away from her.

Every Cathy looked into every other Cathy, and looked in horror, saying those Cathy made their love miserble, with the same conviction like those Cathy are just like herself. that Every Cathy's fault is Every Cathy's sin, and have driven away Every Heathcliff.

And every one of them just end up telling the exact same thing to themselves, turning into nothing but the ehcos of the Wuthering Heights....

So, everyone in Wuthering Heights end up but ehcos of their own thoughts, they become husks, just following the empty and hollow voices and go around and around and around and around and around until they die.

...And now, all the ehcos are gone. All Cleared. The Ghosts of this manor return to their graves and became forgotten.

and now...

...there is nothing but Heathcliff, the only Heathcliff, who is now ready to march on to find His Cathy, the only Cathy, to put in the effort. to return her to his side. For he has told Cathy how much he loves her, and she has told him the same.

There will be a happy ending for Heathcliff. For there must be a end to a path of thorns for those who are willing to walk it through.

One day, he shall return to The Wuthering Heights, and return her to his side.

Through those patches of violet, they will walk back to the empty Manor, with bells ringing and the never ending winds.

...

ALSO CLEAR ALL CATHY! GET IT!? IT FOR CLEAR ALL CATCES HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH-(dies)

[kaill32]

Heya! Super new to tumblr, just made my account; found a post of yours from another site about a character being a sword. It really resonated with an oc I’m writing, though in a less literal sense, and I wanted to say thanks for sharing. Not sure how to message others here- hope this suffices, have a good one!

Omg hi lol Thank you! I don't check this place every often so sorrrrrrrrrry! really sorry about not seeing this earier but I so happy my nonsense blob made you feel that way!

also, where did you saw my post? asking for my curiosty lol

[kaill32]

an EXTRA ROUGH wip.

Angela but Hollow knight bee!

Void AND old light infused bug made bee.

[kaill32]

God, my hyperfixation is catching up to me. I imagine Project moon character in anything and everything.

Like I'm imagining the goddamn thumb gets Isekaied into Blue archive but they are all gender bend (Except Katriel and she still can't talk) and kalo is too fucking tall (9ft) for some reason and has long hair now and is over her denial phase and is entering bargain by putting on her old hat to hide her face.

So now she....he...they look like a knock off The 8ft Tall Lady but also mafia boss now, She generally gets the same amount of respect as Aru to the three main schools,

I have a design ready, but I don't have my sketch book on me

The rest of the thumb is all referencing some kind of Japanese Urban Legend except Boris, Boris is Boris.

Katriel is the Silt Mouth Woman but With a mechanical lower jaw with a voice box so she can actually speak since her tongue is still gone.

Denis is Teke Teke, If you don't know what that urban Legend is going to look it up, and he, now she, actually doesn't have a lower body.

it was cut off by Kalo when she was in her denial to anger phase, And you would think he should leave when this happened, right? He didn't! He is very proud of what is missing From his body, it is a Mark of worth and his dedication to the cause that is the thumb, No matter what happens.

she is sniper now by the way, The millennium commission tripod robot legs is very at stabling her body.

Boris suggested the idea of unifying the heartless gang under Kalo to build a fraction of their past influence then basically hijacked the entire operation that is Kaiser Corp, The idiot on top was forced into signing a contract for their life. A contract that sold the majority of Kaiser Corp stocks to them

Its an opportunity, they weren't going to pass it up since the idiot ran into them face first.

They showed up about five months before Sinsei.

Also because of blue archive rules they can't use actual brutal force now.

The humiliation that is replacing the finger cutting with putting lemon juice on open wound is immeasurable.

And replacing public execution to public shaming is somewhat acceptable.

does this make sense? Do you see my vision am I just making shit up because I'm so god damn bored and have too much sugar in my brain?

Anyway, my kidney is hurting I'm gonna go.

[kaill32]

I regret getting into blue archives because it's such a deep contrast to my obsession with project moon but it does make a good stress relief.

Anyway I got something thumb related brewing in my head. So yeah. Will elaborate later

[kaill32]

....why did Hermann's recruitment of Ahab feel so similar Compared to Faust recruiting Ishmael

" I can give you another chance on killing the evil predefined by you, the one you thought was dead I can give you a chance even if you saw them die with your own two eyes, Your revenge can be done as long as you help me on my cause."