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literally sleeping on a barbecue sauce

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Team “I can hear the near silent hum of electrical appliances and the bubbles fizzing in the can of soda on the coffee table, but can’t watch tv without subtitles and processes conversation at 1/4 speed”

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[person 500 years ago knitting a sock] O Sister Margaret, regale me again with the tale of Vicar Wesley's scandalous elopement with the baker's daughter!

[me today knitting a sock] O Youtuber Hbomberguy, regale me again with the tale of SHERLOCK IS GARBAGE, AND HERE'S WHY

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yeah im into bdsm Be Dozing So Much

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Hello white mutuals. Before you is a charcuterie board with 15 different types of cheese. If you manage to go 12 hours without touching the cheeses you can leave this room. Good luck.

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Comictober Day 3: Owl

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I think about this a lot.

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They fucking killed a gnome in my yard

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this might be a bold statement but I think one of the best character designs to exist in television is salem saberhagen, a warlock punished for trying to take over the world & forced to live as a cat for a 100 years, who spends his penance being a bitchy little drama queen who causes constant trouble and cries a lot 

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Ladies, are we fatigued this evening? Are we tired

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Should go without saying but never date a cop and christ never marry one. Rule of thumb if he's legally untouchable he's ethically unfuckable. You don't like that cop, you like buff men in tight clothing. I can show you more of those, better ones. Take my hand.

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this would kill a victorian child