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[kajirus]

By the time the SUV stops my legs are asleep and everything hurts from the cramped cage.

I’ve drooled all over myself from the block of wood gag holding my mouth open.

The back opens up and the Master unlocks the cage and clips a leash to the collar and pulls me out.

He unbinds my hands and reties them behind my back.

The ground is hot beneath my bare feet.

There are people all around and I flush red being naked and bound outside.

(Yes my cock is getting hard at the humiliation… I can’t help it.)

Just then I see a woman in heels leading a naked female slave on leash.

The van next to us has three naked slaves bound by their leashes to the luggage rack.

He loops my leash through the heavy rings in my chest and yanks.

I follow.

I’m a full head taller than Master.

I am completely under his control.

We pass more masters and slaves in the parking lot and come to a large entrance that says “ Gor Fest” and underneath it “Everything Gor and Gor evolved.”

There are stalls selling whips and cuffs and bondage equipment.

One with a large sign advertising an “Invisible Electric Fence”.

Master stops and talks to the salesman who looks at me funny and whispers to Master. Who says “Kneel” softly.

I drop to my knees slowly.

My head now level with their crotches.

I can smell cooking meat, cotton candy, suntan lotion, and the sickly sweet smell of branding human flesh.

I hear so many people.

“How much?”

“Nadu.”

“Buy a slave Mistress.”

And cries of pain.

Screams

And faint sounds of music

And sex.

The leash is yanked as he says “Up.”

I have a thousand questions and gagged as I am no way to ask.

We stop at another tent and in a clearing is a female slave bound to a frame that holds her bent over so her ass is elevated.

Her head is covered by a bag.

A male slave is brought out by two naked female slaves.

His hands are bound behind him and his head is also covered by a bag.

The two slaves guide him to the girl on the frame and slowly insert his cock inside her.

He starts to fuck the helpless girl and the two unbound slaves direct him with physical cues.

Then one bends down and does something to his bottom and suddenly his body stiffens and I guess he ejaculates inside her.

Much weaker he is led away.

I look over and see a line of male slaves naked,bound, and hooded.

Master speaks to a person at the table by the slaves and signs a paper and is counted out money.

He walks over to me, puts a bowl of water by his shoes and unties my gag and takes out the wood block from between my teeth and points to the bowl.

I quickly drink the water when the man who counted out money into Masters hand walks over with a hood he puts over my head. There is a strip of fabric inside the hood that goes into my mouth as it’s pulled over and bound.

The leash is yanked and I’m kneeling. I guess by the other kajiru I saw before I was hooded.

[kajirus]

I’ve remained blindfolded for several days now.

Drinking water through a straw.

Being hand fed an oatmeal like food.

Having the piercings cleaned and checked.

Yesterday someone hung weights from the thick chest rings.

I cried for hours.

Today they still hurt but there’s nothing I can do and I’m tired of crying.

I’m untied from the X and a leash is connected to my collar.

Someone walks me around still blindfolded until my legs adjust to moving again.

The blindfold is removed.

I’m standing before an SUV.

One of the slaves binds my wrists in front of me and the other convinces me to open my mouth as my eyes adjust to the light. They put a block of wood between my teeth and tie it so it stays.

The SUV opens and there’s a cage.

The red head slave opens the cage door and says ‘In.”.

I could fight.

I tense and get ready.

She was hiding a cattle prod behind her back.

The electricity rips through me and I fall screaming in pain.

When I settle she again says “In.”

I crawl in the cage and she closes and locks the door.

The trunk closes and I try to settle in the cramped space.

[kajirus]

Meticulously the forceps closed around my right breast and the needle was pushed through. Not a small pinch at the nipple but through the meat past the red ring of my aureola

Then the ring. Heavy and thick.

It pulls painfully on the skin.

Master crimps it closed and it hangs heavy on my chest.

He doesn’t bother with a gag and I scream and cry and beg and bargain.

It doesn’t matter.

Master does the left breast and then my tongue.

The post feels weird on my teeth.

Then the punch through my septum in the nose.

The ‘crunch’ feels loud in my head.

So much pain.

No comfort.

No way to stop it.

Another crunch on my upper ear.

Master tightens a belt around my stomach and my upper thighs and kneels down.

There is a pinch on the skin beneath my balls and then the needle through.

I’m horse from screaming and crying.

I whimper as Master inserts the ring and closes it.

“It was smart not to feed the slave.” He says to a slave I can’t see.

“Yes Master.” She says “This way the beast doesn’t vomit.”

“Give the slave some water now and in an hour.”

A straw touches my lips and I desperately suck some water down around the post in my tongue.

Pain radiates all over.

Master looks me over and then puts a blindfold over my eyes.

I can hear him and the other slave in the room but I’m exhausted and despite the pain, the hunger, the bondage, and fear , sleep overtakes me.

[kajirus]

In walks a dark skinned woman on all fours.

She slinks her way in, a black fuzzy tail flicks back and forth over her back.

It seems to have a life of its own as it moves.

It seems to be ending in her asshole.

The hair on her head is cut very short and she wears a headband with black cats ears with bright pink on the inside.

She is walking on hands and knees. Her legs bent and bound with black belts that can barely be seen. The kitty girl pauses and raises a paw. Her hands are covered in black kitty paws that match her skin tone perfectly and the bottoms show pink pads.

The kitty makes the bell on her collar ring and then rubs her side on my bound legs and purrs and meows.

In walks a casually dressed woman in keds, jeans, white tshirt and blue baseball cap. Her hair drawn in a pony tail through the back.

The room seems to freeze.

Everyone walks to her at once talking and hugging her. The kneeling slaves go to kiss her sneakers. The Father and Son give her hugs and talk at her. I take her in until she sees me looking and then I lower my eyes.

“Mom, thank you for coming home early I just want to sh…”

“Shhhh dearest, I can see what you’ve brought. It is big, but that can be a good thing.” She walks up to me taking off both gags and putting a finger under my chin to raise my head up.

“Interesting potential,” She says after a moment, “definitely a natural slave.”

The son looks triumphant and she continues “sometimes the willing are the hardest to break… long strong legs, good sized cock, needs more muscle tone but that’s easy enough… full time pony or hybrid?”

“I’m thinking hybrid.” The son says

“I agree. Has it eaten today?”she asks.

“Only this morning so not for several hours.”

“Good.” She turns to the redhead and brunette slaves. “ It can have water but no food today or tomorrow. Leave it where it is overnight.”

Then she turns to me, and says “Meet my gaze.”

It’s hard to look in her blue eyes they are so powerful and prodding.

She holds up a mirror showing me the brand “This marks you as property. It is deep and permanent. In a few days , after I’ve broken you, I will allow you to beg for a collar. You will quickly come to learn what it means to be property. You may lower your eyes, slave.”

Turning to her son, “Pierce the nipples deep so the rings can be used as anchors for pony tack. The tongue and septum as well… and the perineum.”

“Mom! That’s too much.”

“Trust me. Oh yes and the higher lobe. To run a chain from the nose to the ear. It is going to look lovely.

[kajirus]

As the throbbing in my thigh subsides the penis gag goes back in my mouth and then the airtight gag over nose and mouth with the long tube attached.

It hard to breathe again.

A man in a suit walks in holding two leashes in his hand .

He is wearing an immaculate white suit and somehow radiates power.

Attached to the leashes is a naked slight man wearing a collar and a naked women also wearing a collar.

He stops and both drop to their knees in a very wide Nadu position by his feet.

I notice they have healed ‘k’s on their upper outer right thighs.

The man who just branded me walks up and hugs the man in the suit.

They both turn to look at me and I quickly lower my eyes in fear.

“It’s a big one.” The man in the suit says.

“Trust me Father. It will be perfect.”

The man in the suit , my owners father, picks up the the long thin tube attached to my oxygen restricting gag and says “This isn’t really Gorean.”

“No, I suppose not , but it is very good at assisting with control.”

The man in the suit pinches the tube almost closed with his thumb and I’m just barely able to breathe.”So you branded a thing you haven’t broken.” He looks at me as I start to struggle and fight against the chains holding me to the X . I meet his gaze as spots start to form in front of my eyes and I can see how much he is enjoying this.

“Sadism isn’t really Gorean either, Father.”

“True” the man in the suit says and stops pinching the tube shut and I go back to barely breathing. “Have you checked provenance?”

“A fellow student but rather poor. The family will give us little trouble with their meager resources.”

Indicating the two slaves on the end of his leashes “Orphans are better. No one to go looking and make trouble.”

I look down at the naked slaves and they don’t move as they are being talked about.

“Will Mother be home soon?”

“Yes she should be back from Wyoming in a few hours.”

“More ponies?”

“I think she said a kitty, this time. Should be interesting.” And he gives a short tug on the leashes. The two slaves crawl to his shoes and start to rub their sexes on them. Their hands clasped behind their backs.

“So,” he continues as the slaves become visibly aroused and points to me “will you sell or keep?”

“I haven’t decided yet. Do you think I should pierce?” He pinches my nipple fiercely and I whimper.

Both laugh, and the man in the suit, I guess my new owners father?, tugs the leashes again and both slaves stop and go back to where they were originally kneeling. Both are flushed , breathing hard and clearly aroused.

Two naked women walk in and seeing the two freemen quickly kneel in Nadu. One a pale redhead. The other a dark brunette. Both so impossibly attractive that I can help but stare at them.

“Greetings Masters.” They say almost simultaneously.

“Is my wife home early?”

“Yes Master.” The redhead says quickly.

“I told Mother of my new catch. She must be eager.”

“Son, your mother is constantly buying , breaking, training and selling slaves I don’t know…”

[kajirus]

The world starts fading in

I smell hot metal.

I’m stretched out my arms and legs forming an X

I’m still naked

I can’t move

I’m looking at a fire place.

He is standing there

Moving something in the fire

He is wearing these thick gloves

A leather apron

And nothing else

The only light in the room is the fire.

The gag is gone

“Hey. Listen let me go!”

I’m fighting the bonds and I can’t budge.

“LET ME GO!”

He doesn’t flinch at my yelling.

I cry and scream and struggle.

He smiles and takes something out of the fire.

He holds it close to my face so I can see and feel the heat.

It’s white hot metal.

It looks like a blocky lower case “k”.

I fight and scream harder and realize I can’t move my legs at all because of the way they’re secured.

I meet HIS gaze and see the excitement.

His smile gets wider seeing my fear.

He steps back and

First I smell the sickly sweet odor of burning human flesh.

Then the pain hits.

I scream hard and loud as the burning sensation overpowers me.

My throat gets horse and I pray to pass out but I can’t seem to let go.

I see him toss the iron back in the fire but the pain is still washing over me.

He dabs some thick salve on the brand and now my upper outer right thigh starts to simply throb.

He looks me in the eyes again and I see them shining.

Lust filling them.

He has marked me as a kajirus… as a slave.

[kajirus]

He takes out a penis gag. It doesn’t look big.

Holding it to my lips He simply waits.

I open.

It feels enormous and then the strap is buckled and tightened and it’s just barely tickling my gag reflex.

As I acclimate to the gag He drills a hole in the side of the plastic tub and tips it over and pushes me inside.

I’m crammed in helpless and out comes a clear medical looking mask. It goes over my mouth and nose with a small hole by my mouth to suck air through. He covers the hole showing me the rest of the mask is airtight.

Then a long thin plastic tube is attached to the hole. I can barely breathe. He pinches the end of the long tube with his thumbnail so it’s barely open. I feel dizzy. I can barely suck in any air and spots form before my eyes and get bigger as sweat coats my body.

He lets it go and I’m back to barely sucking in air.

Threading the tube through the newly drilled hole He pinches it almost closed again. I am totally under control.

He puts the tub on a dolly and closes the lid.

In the darkness I suddenly realize the air is cut off again and I come close to passing out.

The message is clear.

I faintly hear things in the twisted painful darkness of the tub.

I feel moving like the dolly is being wheeled around.

I can hear faint conversations and then maybe I’m in the elevator going down.

Then wheeled some more.

Then a feeling of being picked up and put down.

A big ‘thunk’ sound.

And then motion.

Like I’m in a car.

Being driven.

As I realize this it gets harder to breathe again.

Like the tube is being blocked.

Green spots fill my vision and get bigger and bigger until…..

[kajirus]

The position is so hard. I’m bent over and I can’t straighten because of the predicament bondage. I don’t know how much time is going by as I get stiffer and sore.

I’m miserable and…

The phone rings

I know where the cordless is but…

It ringing and ringing and the machine picks up :

“Hi. I must be busy doing something fabulous and I’ll call you back when things aren’t so amazing.”

Long beep.

“Hi,” my Dad says sounding annoyed. “I still don’t like that message. It’s just so… anyway are you coming home this weekend? You haven’t said. Please let me know.” And the line clicks.

Noise in the hallway has gone quiet.

He walks back in and chuckles.

“You should tell your parents you’re staying in school over Shabbos. To study for Midterms.”

After he takes his underwear from my mouth I make the call still bound.

My Moms happy that I’m trying to be more religious.

Dad’s pissed off at the last minute decision.

After I hang up

“You do look perfect like that. That’s why I brought this.”

He shows me a big plastic tub.

“You’ll fit in here perfectly. And then you can rest for the ride.”

“Ride? Ride where?”

“Ah ah ah, curiosity is not becoming in a kajirus.”

[kajirus]

His underwear gag tastes of sweat and… I don’t know, something else.

I’m trying to figure out.

The taste.

What’s happened?

How did I get here?

Why am I Obeying?

All his orders.

Why did I?

And getting so excited.

Am I gay?

I’m not gay… am I?

Ok.

Think of a woman.

Standing over my bound helpless body.

Looking down on me, a mocking smile on her face.

A thick heavy whip in His han…

No wait.

A thick heavy whip in HER hand.

She flexes her muscled arm.

Six pack showing.

Thick muscled legs and strong feet inches from my face.

shit.

[kajirus]

His watch beeps (back then watches used to beep with alarms)

“Oh I got class. You’re too mobile gonna have to fix that.” He takes off his pants and underwear and I think “I’m gonna be raped” as I see his hard cock bouncing up and down.

He folds the underwear and stuffs it in my mouth and winds tape around my head to keep it in.

Then he cuffs my hands behind me again and ties rope from my cuffed hands to my bound ankles.

Hogtied as I am I don’t see him leave but I hear the door close and lock.

I don’t know how long I wait in the silence but I start to struggle and flex my body trying to get free when suddenly He is back in the room.

“Can’t have this, you need to be still.”

He pushes me to my side and loops a rope around my neck several times and then ties the other end around my balls. He experiments with the length until the rope is tight and pulling painfully at my balls and just barely letting me breathe. I can’t move at all.

I can hear the world outside my door. Guys fooling around and I can’t move at all for fear of strangulation or castration. The underwear packing my mouth doesn’t let me utter a sound.

My only clue about time passing is how thirsty I am and how much pain I’m in.

Of course I can’t help but visualize myself bound this way and my cock gets ridiculously hard at the image in my minds eye.

[kajirus]

“Yes Master.” I say. The words making me blush a deep red.

He pours a small amount of water into a bowl and looks at it.

I wait. Looking at the bowl. Desperately thirsty.

I can feel him staring at me.

I close my eyes and see how we must look.

Him, dressed and sitting in a chair.

Me ,naked and cuffed and bound kneeling on the floor.

My cock gets incredibly hard.

The longer the silence the more excited I become.

‘Drink’ is all he says. All I can do is lap the water with my tongue. It takes forever and makes a mess.

He points to spilled droplets on the floor and I lick the floor where he points.

Then he points to his sneaker.

I kiss it and look at him. He smirks and wiggles the shoe. I lick it again and again tasting rubber and cloth and dirt.

I hear the chair lean back but I don’t stop licking.

[kajirus]

I wake with a start on the floor. Sunlight is streaming through the window blinds.I’m still handcuffed and tied and gagged. My mouth is dry. I don’t hear anything.

Is he still here?

I lay still trying to listen for his breathing but I can’t hear anything. I’m trying to wait patiently until the thought of having to pee hits me. I struggle and flip over and sit up. The bed is empty and made.

It’s Friday so I don’t have any classes and most people have probably left to go home for Shabbos. My floor is mostly locals staying at the dorms.

I have been left bound and helpless. I can see my copy of the book on my desk and I get super hard.

I’m so excited my cock is throbbing. I see my sneaker on the ground and without thinking I struggle over to it and hump it. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it. It hurts a little and is difficult to rub just right and every time the bondage prevents me from moaning or moving a shudder of desire rips through my body driving me on. I can feel a monster orgasm building as I rub my cock on my shoe on the floor.

He opens the door , sees me and laughs.

Flipping me over on my back he smacks my cock hard and pushes me down.

“Silly thing.” Is all he says.

I hump the air until he smacks my cock several times and grabs it and squeezes. I cry out into the sock gag but it’s barely a whimper.

He sits in my chair and looks at me on the floor.

He takes a bagel out of a white bag, washed his hands, says a bracha and takes a small bite.

He takes another bagel out, unwraps it and lets it fall to the floor.

Untying the sock around my head he says ‘mouths are for eating’ and takes the wet sock stuffed in my mouth out.

I work my dry painful mouth around and look at the bagel. I take a long shuddering breath and scoot over to the bagel but it gets pushed by my face as I try to bite it. I try again and it scoots near his sneaker.

He chuckles and steps on half the bagel holding it in place. Finally I’m able to take a bite and chew. I eat about half the floor bagel when he is done eating. He benches and then pulls me to a sitting position my back against my bed. He tosses the rest of the floor bagel away and neatly wipes up the spot where it was.

“You need to learn a few things. Every time we are alone and you speak to me you will begin and end with Master. If I decide to keep you, that will change to ‘my Master’. Do you understand?”

[kajirus]

As I kneel on my dorm room floor in the Nadu slave position I can feel his eyes on me. He wheels my chair closer his sneakers in my field of vision.

He stays quiet and I’m doing my best to maintain the position. Sitting on your heels with your knees spread wide, back straight, head up eyes down and your hands on your thighs palms up is difficult. My breathing has become fast and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest.

I see him cross his feet the chair creaks and I realize that he is leaning back. I see us in my minds eye and bite my lip.

“Most of Rabbi Fuldas class know you like feet by the way your eyes fix on Shimon wearing his sandals everyday. When you were out Fulda joked about it.” He says and I think my face gets even redder.

He wiggles his sneakers and says “ Maybe I should take off my shoes and socks.” I know he’s not really talking to me.

“You’re skinny, no muscle tone really, and your hair… and of course that nose. Still an actual kajirus.” He says and I look up at the perfect way he says it. I meet his gaze. It’s so intense that I quickly look down again.

“I know all about kajiri. The question is are you enough to be worth my time.”

He stands up and walks around me slowly. The voice in my head keeps screaming‘stop this just stand up and tell him to leave’ but I can’t make myself move.

“Bracelets.” He says

It’s another slave position. Just like Nadu only the hands go behind the back and cross at the wrists.

I move my hands into position and he clicks handcuffs on my wrists.

“Ummm” I stammer and again he says “Shhhh” and flicks a butterfly knife out.

He helps me stand and softly traces the knife around my body.

Suddenly he cuts my shirt at the collar and painfully rips and tears until it’s in tatters on the floor.

He pulls off my belt and takes off my pants and underwear. Then shoes and socks.

He puts a finger under my chin pushing my head back to look at my neck. Even naked I am much taller than him.

“Meet my gaze.” I swallow and look into his eyes. I feel helpless and want to look away.

“Yes, you’ll do.” He says and after a pause ‘Bara’.

It’s another slave position. Lay on the ground , head facing left, hands crossed behind and legs crossed at the ankles.

I struggle with my hands cuffed but soon I’m laying flat staring under the bottom of my bed.

My crossed ankles are bound. I think with my belt. I hear the dorm room door lock and then the light goes out. He sits and takes off his sneakers and socks and puts his feet right where I can see and wiggles his toes .

A rolled up sock is at my lips.

“Open”, it fills my mouth. The other sock is tied around my head to keep it in. The sock tastes clean.

I hear the bed move as he lays down and gets comfortable. All I can do is turn a little on my side.

I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep this way.

[kajirus]

When I get back to my room my roommate Ariye has left for the weekend. One member of the study group is sitting at my desk reading the Gorean book.

I reread the book every night as it talks about the training of male slaves. There is an entire system that’s described and I’m so embarrassed that he is looking at my deepest darkest fantasy.

“Umm can I help you?” I say

“No. I’m just enjoying this book I found on your desk. Fighting Slave of Gor… it’s interesting.” He says

“Listen that’s umm well…” I stammer

“Personal?” He looks at me so intensely that I have to look away, shame reddening my face.

I move to sit on my bed and he says “No.”

“No?” My breath catches.

I know what he means. Heart pounding I look down.

“Ummm.” I say

“Shhhh.” He says and turns back to the book

I’m looking down at my shoes as he reads. After a long silence he looks up at me smirks and says ‘Nadu’.

Nadu is a slave position in the book. When a free person says it a slave must kneel, sitting on their heels with their legs spread very wide, their back is straight, head up, eyes down and hands are resting on their thighs, palms up (that’s what I used to think, I read recently that it’s palms down).

I look at him and this silence between us grows but his intensity makes me drop down into position.

[kajirus]

My sophomore year in college I had a copy of Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman on my desk. My roommate, Ariye, had invited some study friends to the room to review before a Number Theory midterm. Right before they came in I remembered the book was on my desk and I swept it into a drawer.

A few of his friends looked over my desk , noticing my stacks and stacks of audio tapes and stereo. One picked up my copy of Madonna’s True Blue.

I imagine that I left the book on top of my desk instead. That’s the only thing I do differently . I know it doesn’t seem like much.

[kajirus]

As I look back on my life I imagine an alternate reality where I was enslaved in college. It presupposes more maturity and an acknowledgement of the complicated sexuality I now embrace.