kaleb-the-master-of-fate

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

I can't possibly say why but my first thought was the old "Badass samurai adjacent guy cuts something so expertly that it sliiiides apart before erupting in a geyser of blood" but it's a big blue postal box.

Today's aesthetic: when something one wouldn't reasonably expect to be full of blood gets cut or shot or blown up and it's full of blood.

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

Incredibly good movie!

I said no food. I didn't say there was nothing to eat.

RAVENOUS (1999) Dir. Antonia Bird

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

When I was a kid I desperately desperately wanted there to be a Metroid movie but I was confident that it should be just two hours of watching Samus navigate a planet full of creatures with no dialog. As I got older I thought I learned better, that nobody but me would want that, but now I'm even older and people will watch ten hour video game longplays with no narration. I was right the first time. They should have me direct it. Give me 200 million dollars and I'll give you two hours of a tall blonde woman in power armor silently running around caverns full of bugs. No other speaking characters and no CG, wet latex aliens only.

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

like damn I thought I had self esteem issues but elon musk is fifty years old eleventy seven children infinite money and he spends all hours of the lord’s day and night making sock puppet accounts to defend his own posts this is being a loser on a scale that can only be measured with a geiger counter

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

i want. a cicada on one arm and a crayfish on the other

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

I was a fascinating child who was obsessed with the Tony Hawk games so mine was a skateboarding skeleton in a white leather trenchcoat with an airbrushed painting of a werewolf baying at the moon in a recently burned forest on the back.

The person who ran next to your car when you were a child.

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

wheres seasons greasons

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

An incomplete taxonomy of esoteric texts:

This text is discussing esoteric subject matter

This text is being deliberately obscure because its author knows they don't have a coherent thesis and they're blowing smoke

This text is written in earnest, but its author has very poor communication skills

This text's translator has misunderstood something that was meant completely literally as a complex metaphor

This text is actually perfectly straightforward in its native language, but every available translation fucking sucks

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

laurie 😔

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

Has it already been proposed that Hatsune Miku is essentially the digital age successor to the cultural niche originally established by Betty Boop, did I see that somewhere or is it a weird thing my autism told me

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

Like to charge, reblog to cast

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

Small town murder mystery where it eventually turns out that literally everyone in town is a member of some secret society or sinister cult – except it's not one big secret society, it's a bunch of little ones, ranging from as many as a couple dozen members to as few as three. Each secret society is aware of their own immediate allies and rivals, but none of them have the complete picture of how extensive the town's secret society problem is, nor do they know that every single resident is a member of at least one. Some residents are members of multiple secret societies. Some residents are unwittingly members of multiple secret societies, having mistakenly concluded that Secret Society A is Secret Society B's hidden inner circle, when in fact they're unrelated. There's at least one pair of secret societies whose leaders each believe that the other is a false front that they set up to distract their enemies. This goes on for five seasons.

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

I'm a member and I love it!

heyo reminder that I have a cool little postcard club where you will get a very swag print for just 5 bucks a month

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

I wonder if there's ever been a notable unarmed political assassination? Like, some dude goes in for a handshake at a campaign event, and decides to just powerbomb the fucker into the pavement instead and breaks their neck? It feels like the sort of thing that would have happened at least once in history, but a cursory attempt to research the topic just turns up a bunch of anecdotes about Assassin's Creed.

[kaleb-the-master-of-fate]

Very excited for this ngl