kaleidiope - Tumblr blog

[kaleidiope]

Hey, you! You who suspect you might have PTSD, DID or another trauma disorder, but you think you didn't experience trauma "bad enough" to have developed a mental disorder from it? Let me suggest looking at it differently:

"If there's smoke, there's fire"

Do you experience symptoms of PTSD, such as hypervigilance, trouble sleeping, flashbacks, memory problems, dissociation, ect? Then yes, it was "bad enough". Maybe you don't remember anything "really bad" happening or you don't "feel like" it affects you, but listen to your body. The body remembers and the body doesn't care if you think it is "stupid" or "weak" to have a panic attack when someone touches you or that you still have nightmares about that thing you saw when you were 4 years old

Trauma isn't what happened. Trauma is the reaction to what happened. So what I'm trying to say is that if the reason you think you can't have PTSD/DID/OSDD/ect is because you didn't go through anything horrific enough for that, then maybe forget about what happened to you for a moment and just look at the evidence your body and mind are showing. And then, most importantly, be compassionate with yourself. You're going through a lot and it's gonna be okay in the end. Take it easy, okay? <3

[kaleidiope]

• Fidgeting and stuttering do NOT always indicate that someone is nervous.

• Avoiding eye contact does NOT always mean someone is lying.

• Having a hard time focusing does NOT always mean someone is lazy.

• Carrying around a stuffed animal or blanket does NOT make someone childish.

• Poor motor skills is NOT a direct indication of intelligence.

Not everyone fits into your box. Deal with it.

[kaleidiope]

Remember, if you ever find that cruel little voice that lives in the folds of our brains questioning why you have something good in your life, and how you're deserving of it, know it's because you - single-handedly - have survived all of your toughest days thus far

And that's a feat that should never go unpraised.

You've survived all your worst days, and if you ask me, that deserves a lil' treat :) You're deserving of good things, don't question why you earned them, as good things don't need to be earned. But facing tough challenges should always be rewarded

[kaleidiope]

Brain-rot: Good, positive, may drive one a wee bit mad but otherwise good, often is a complement, to have brain-rot is to be enjoyably obsessed to a possibly unhealthy degree Mind-rot: Awful, horrid, Negative, Will cause deep and unforgiving distress, dark, is a way to politely refer to Bad Thoughts™, is often upsetting - most commonly to others

[kaleidiope]

I feel like I'm constantly 'wanting for the other shoe to drop'

But that metaphorical upstairs-neighbor moved out years ago, yet ever since, I expect every new tenant to unrightfully be the very same. I always wait for them to do exactly what the old tenant did. To finish what they started. But they never do, and all it does is run me ragged; nervous and restless forever and forever. I should know better than to carry old experiences into new expectations, but I can't help but wait up and listen for that other metaphorical shoe. 'Cause I know the minute I do, the minute I let go, I'll be proven right. And it'll hurt so much more when unguarded

[kaleidiope]

Things don't have to be worse to warrant fixing. Things can still be bad without being 'the worst it can be'. Something/someone can still warrant criticism, even if it isn't as awful as something/someone else is. Improvement isn't inherently problematic or threatening. Wanting improvements is normal, it does not mean the current state of something/someone is a failure. You deserve things to be good, for those around you to be good to you, and not just 'better than they could be'. Things do not need to be worse for your feelings on a matter, to matter. How you feel is important and deserves to be heard. Things don't need to get worse before your unhappiness is warranted. You deserve good things

[kaleidiope]

you don't have to be glad that it's not worse. that goes for everything. disability, trauma, mental illness, grades, finances, whatever. you're /allowed/ to be upset that things are the way they are. you don't have to be grateful for your situation - bad is bad. somebody else's suffering doesn't make yours less painful. it's okay to be angry

[kaleidiope]

"you're good at art you should go to college you should start animation you should get a job in the industry you have so much potential" I SHOULD BE IN THE WOODS. EATING POISONOUS BERRIES

[kaleidiope]

Finally, my baby, my favorite, my Nyan-cat Kandi!! :D

Bonus photo of a kandi mask! :D With doctored photo quality 'cause we all know cryptids, such as myself, can't be photographed >:D Screw living in fear, lemme have fun!!

I try to hide identifying things about myself online - 'cause I'm afraid to be found - but I'm feeling a special type of way and really wanna share some photos of kandi I've made :D And wear very often D: Oh dear

[kaleidiope]

Third, My Melody, Kuromi, and the QPR flag :D (That I tell everyone is just flowers)

Fourth, a random assortment of bracelets!

I try to hide identifying things about myself online - 'cause I'm afraid to be found - but I'm feeling a special type of way and really wanna share some photos of kandi I've made :D And wear very often D: Oh dear

[kaleidiope]

First, my froggies!! :D (Also, please enjoy the new fabric I got and decided to use as a background! :D)

Second, my Hermitcraft singles! :D

I hope the photos are okay, as I mention a lot, I have shaky issues and holding steady can be a bit tricky ;^^

I try to hide identifying things about myself online - 'cause I'm afraid to be found - but I'm feeling a special type of way and really wanna share some photos of kandi I've made :D And wear very often D: Oh dear

[kaleidiope]

I try to hide identifying things about myself online - 'cause I'm afraid to be found - but I'm feeling a special type of way and really wanna share some photos of kandi I've made :D And wear very often D: Oh dear

[kaleidiope]

you don't need to be useful to be loved

[kaleidiope]

Did some doodling late last night while listening to songs of Kyle Stibbs. I don't tend to draw without aim much anymore, as most of the time I'm drawing concept art of my characters or fanart things (when my hands aren't shaking, and I'm able to actually draw, that is) It was nice to unplug the brain and see where it went :D Oddly, my unplugged brain seemed to go in the direction of Epo, my persona,, There's a fair few things - like the ear positioning and curl pattern - I'm unhappy with, but all-in-all, I'm happy where my art style has gone in recent times! It had its bizarre transition faze for a long while, and frankly I'm still not out of the woods! But I'm happy where things are going, and, dare I say? I have,, pride? In my current abilities?? Is this the feeling of,, confidence?? For once?!?

[kaleidiope]

It's so morbidly interesting to me how folks can be so cruel to children. Like, they're so rude and short with them. They don't get that kids simply don't know the things adults do instinctively. Adults forget they genuinely have an upper hand in life called 'life experience'. It's as if they completely forgot what being a child was like. That they, too, had to be taught many concepts they now take for granted. I remember being little, and every time someone actually explained something to me, it'd firmly click and be basically engraved in me ever after. When my brother told me shouting to get someone's attention was impolite and that's why he ignored me, it just clicked and I never did it again. But the reason I never did it again wasn't that simple, it was because he gave me an alternative on what to do: He explained that one should come up to the person, say 'excuse me' followed by whatever you wanted/needed. That made perfect sense! I was finally told what to do! As the very worst part of it, was that I was only following by example up to that point. If one of my parents wanted something of me, they shouted for me. How was I meant to know that all I knew was rude? Answer, I wasn't! Stop expecting kids to be 'better' and more mature than the adults they're around. Take the time to actually give them a chance to flourish in life and be the best version of them they can be. After all, if something's sooo 'common sense' and kids're sooooo 'stupid' for not knowing immediately, then explaining it should be easy then, right?

[kaleidiope]

Them caring about other people does not take away from the care they have for you.

[kaleidiope]