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How I landed up with the man of my dreams...

They said arranged marriage is a gamble, they said all men are the same. They said you just can't trust men. Then how am I supposed to decide whether the guy sitting just next to me with possibly the same thoughts in mind and  sipping his coffee slowly is 'THE' guy?? How I am supposed to fall in love and have family with someone I barely know. Maybe he is not the person he is portraying to be. Maybe he is a split personality and I am just seeing one side of it. With all these 'not-so-positive' thoughts in mind I finally decide to meet a guy in a proper Indian arranged setup. While I was sitting surrounded by the families on both sides I saw some eyes scanning me, top to bottom. Maybe this is because of the torn jeans I am wearing or maybe because of the big loud laugh I just had. I decided to ignore those eyes. After some conversations about the current location, weather and some current affairs, they decided to leave us(me and THE guy) alone for some time so that we get to know each other.Again the same thought 'how exactly am I supposed to do that '.... ??? (To everyone wondering what a 'proper Indian arranged setup' is, it's more like a Job interview where the guy and girl meet in the presence of their families for sometime and decide whether they can marry each other or not)

We sat quiet for sometime because each of us have had few failed attempts to initiate a conversation and there was awkward silence now. Out of the blue he asked, 'hey, what helped you make up your mind to marry??'.. Alaas, this was the question even I was searching an answer for. To be honest, I just went to meet him because my parents insisted me on doing so. But couldn't confront this directly to him. He sensed me getting uncomfortable and then the topic changed somehow to hobbies, likes, dislikes. We both had an affinity for trekking. We talked about randon treks we have been to and the random people we have met on them. Somehow the time passed by and we had to end the conversation. I went back home with the same questions I came with, all unanswered!!. And then comes the most dreaded question, 'how did you find the guy'?? . I mean he was okay but I generally have 10 minute conversation with random strangers as well and I find all of them good but does that mean I can marry all of them???

This 'what-to-do', 'what-not-todo' thing made me insomniac. I was tensed, worried and then I decided maybe I am not even prepared for the idea of marriage itself. With all this in mind I said a 'No'. To be clear I didn't reject the guy, I just rejected the idea of marriage. Even the idea of arrange marriage seemed strange and weird to me now.I demanded more time.

Months passed by and I was at the exact same stage of my life or mind, whatever you name it. Out of the blue the guy, yeah the exact same guy I met (and rejected) few months back messaged me. We started talking, just casual talks. Likes, dislikes, favorite food ,the love for travel and what not. I found him good, but still not convinced whether he is the one?? The text talks went on and on and slowly got converted to phone calls.We started speaking of our day-today lives, our worst of the fears and our strengths. I soon got comfortable talking to him and then we would talk about random things. I developed a liking for him slowly and don't know exactly when. He seemed to be nice guy, with clean thought process and compatible with mine. That's what I have always wanted an arrange marriage to be like. Compatibility of thoughts is primary because rest all is temporary. You should be able to love the guy above all material and earthly attractions. I somehow got that feeling for him and alaas it was a 'YES' and the happily ever after began since then.

So to everyone looking out for a life partner, don't be scared. Go with the flow. Now they even say that only dead fish go with the flow but that's not always true. Give time to yourself, analyze what do you want your partner or your future life to be like, figure out the weirdest part of you and imagine would you be able to portray this side to him. At the same time be ready for some adjustments and compromises because letting anyone inside the walls you've been building since long would be difficult rather very difficult. But that's part of life and trust me you are going to love this one. Wish you a happy 'happily-ever-after'.