karmyyyy

[karmyyyy]

Para kang tanga kayo

Me to this government's decisions and dun sa isang matapobreng kasama ko dito sa bahay. For once, let me just say this: putanginang mga ugali yan. How could you respect someone na walang ibang magaling sa mata niya kundi sarili niya? Someone na walang compassion para sa ibang tao? Your rotten privileged minds disgust me

[karmyyyy]

From 1 to Karm, gano ka karupok?

HAHAHAHA tangang 'to napakarupok HAHAHAHAHAHHAH sarap ko ihagis palabas ng Pilipinas hahahahahah hello univ dalian natin sa pagprocess ng papers please 😂😂

[karmyyyy]

Fucking school system

Okay let me just rant about my problems, just for today. Kahit ngayon lang.

I am soooo stressed out about everything that's been happening this term, and everything that's about to happen in the coming terms. So here's what I'm ranting about:

I registered for the NMAT this coming October and I haven't had much time to review. Why? Because of the subjects I enrolled this term. For one, there's this subject that I enrolled in, which requires me to accomplish a research manuscript; it's like a pre-thesis subject but only until the methodology part. Even so, that is an individual thing and do you know how much time that subject is taking from me?? Another subject is one that is supposed to be fun but then it turns out to be not. In this subject, the professor doesn't do anything but to let us, his students, report!! (Uhm hello??? You're supposed to be the one who's teaching us, remember???) Then, there's this Taiwan thing. I have to complete the requirements before this month ends so there would still be time for me if ever changes and/or problems would be met. GURL NAIIYAK NA KO GUSTO NA SUMUKO NG UTAK KO??? How am I supposed to do all that in just one term?? And guess what?? It doesn't end there. Today, I learned that beginning next term, they would no longer offer tutorial classes. EH HELLO??? IS THIS SCHOOL FOR REAL?!? BULLSHIT NIYO. Hindi nga kayo nag oopen ng mga section eh tapos tutorial classes won't be allowed na??? Fuck this school system. Gusto lang naman namin grumaduate, and then you suddenly would create a policy like that? For what?? Prina prioritize niyo younger batches?? Nagbabayad din naman kami ng tuition? So anong reason niyo??? NASSTRESS AKO SA LAHAT SOBRANG SHITTY NG NANGYAYARI

[karmyyyy]

Thoughts about KDrama

The thing about Korean dramas is that they simply just don't give you cliche endings. They don't always give you the happy endings. They don't give you the endings that you prolly want to happen. But it's all okay. Even though you don't get the happy endings, somehow it's okay.

For me, it's like saying that even though the characters are powerful supernatural beings, they still get sad; it doesn't necessarily mean that if you are powerful, you would always get your happy ending. And maybe that is why we get that feeling of "it's okay" after watching a drama with a guy character not ending up marrying the girl he loves. We're sad, but it's okay. Why? Because that's just how life is.

Daming arte hahah. Eto naman kasing Hwayugi na 'to eh. This fvcking drama just made me cry A LOT (ugly cry, that is). It's the second KDrama that has made me cry in the last episode. The first one was Black which starred Go Ara (not that anyone cares, 'no? Haha share ko lang bakit ba). Pero naman kase PUTA NAMAN ANG SAKIT???!?!?! Kahit galit na galit ako sa production team ng mga dramang 'to, I still commend them for doing a really great job in these dramas. Masakit, pero GURL ANG GALING hays

[karmyyyy]

These lab reports and quizzes are keeping the pain away from me. Natatakot ako na baka pag wala na akong ginagawa, then that would be the time it will hit me; slowly, and then all at once.

[karmyyyy]

“Kaya for your sake, ayoko na”

Those were the last words I remembered him saying. After hearing those, all I could do was to nod at every word he’s uttering; nod even if all the words right after were all a blur; even if I could not understand what was happening. It was a mutual decision but why do I keep on questioning myself if it was the right decision? I know the relationship was becoming unhealthy, and we were already toxic on each other’s lives but is breaking up really the solution to it? Could we not have possibly fixed it, little by little, together? But come to think of it, is there really a fix?

[karmyyyy]

For the past few days/weeks (even months), I have been questioning my face (specifically my skin) about some issues I am facing /insert being witty/. I have been really bothered because for the past few weeks, zits have been continuously breaking out on my face; to be exact, on my upper left forehead, in between my eyebrows, on my nose, and a single one even broke out on my left cheek which was unusual because never have I ever had a zit on my cheek. I know for some this may be like a simple problem, but to me it really really really is bothersome. In these past weeks, I have been really bothered to the point that I feel sad. It’s sad because I feel so helpless and clueless as to why my face is experiencing this at this point in my life. It’s really hard most especially in the morning when I wake up and I’m like “Ughh tangina here we go again with this face”. It’s like washing my face isn’t helping. I’m not entirely sure if this is because of the extreme heat; or maybe partly, irdk. Gusto ko nalang magkulong sa kwarto kasi p u t a sobrang naiinis na ako sa mukha ko, hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. And I am not happy about it. Call me maarte but the hell with you, my face isn’t a joke for me. I want my smooth skin back :(

[karmyyyy]

Bawal sabi masanay, Karmella. Di pwede

[karmyyyy]

Was that goodbye? Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. I'm never really sure.

[karmyyyy]

Matutulog na ako. I don't feel so good. Goodnight.

"Hala why babe do u want to tell me???"

Next time na, baka busy ka

"Okay baaabe. Pasensya ka na po, gusto ko sanang pagusapan yung nararamdaman mo, kung mahihintay mo ko mamayang 12 okay po sana, tinatapos ko lang talaga tong report ko babe sorry"

Di halata?? I do. I do want to tell you!!! And, now I am supposed to wait for you para makapaglabas ng sama ng loob. Naiintindihan ko naman may ginagawa ka rin. Pero konting oras lang naman sana gusto ko, kahit saglit lang. Gusto ko lang mailabas lahat ng to. Ang bigat bigat na kasi. Pero di ako makapagsabi sayo. Ang bigat bigat na, please don't let me go to sleep feeling like this

[karmyyyy]

Anong klaseng kabullshitan yon. It just made me sadder.

[karmyyyy]

You make "asking questions for help" look bad ughh di uso benefit of the doubt? The kid took courage to ask you that question even though you aren't friends with him and that, honestly, is something to take into consideration. Na sana hindi ka nagreact ng ganun, na sana hindi mo siya jinudge agad, kasi hello?? Nagpakumbaba na yung tao para magtanong. Lalo na sa hindi niya kaclose. Diba?? You say na kahit ikaw mismo walang mapagtanungan minsan. But that is all on you. Decision mo yun e, na hindi magtanong. But this kid, he decided na magtanong kahit hindi niya kaclose. Kinapalan na niya mukha niya. Then immock mo lang at iisiping "what makes you think ibibigay ko sayo yung sagot eh hindi nga tayo magkakilala". You are telling me na "eh kasi pinaghirapan ko, pinagpuyatan ko yung inaral ko tas siya madadalian?". Did it not cross your mind na baka he's just another person na magpupuyat din, magpapakahirap din, and gusto ding makapag aral para makapasa kaya ka niya tinanong ng "Anong lumabas sa quiz?". Besides, nasasayo naman pano mo sasagutin yung tanong na yun e. If you feel na it is unfair para magtanong siya ng ganun, you could have told him things like "Ahhh ganitong question yung lumabas, etong topic na to parang lumabas din. Almost same sa LT but may mga binago si sir"; that kind of answer won't give everything away, would it?

[karmyyyy]

Day and Night

In the morning,

The brightest of smiles can be seen.

Like the first ray of sun, it will rise;

Gradually, and then all at once.

In the evening,

The once beaming smiles

Will slowly fade and go to rest

Like that of the glorious sun.

-K

[karmyyyy]

Kota, Part 2 (with some bashing from Chua)

Day 2 ng seminar today. Sooo I attended it again. Naabutan ko sa loob ng room si "bestfriend". Then after nung isang lecture, umalis na si "bestfriend" pati mga friends niya. Ako naman, I was with the person na never ko na matatakasan (aka Chua). Yung friends ni "bestfriend", dun dumaan like sa aisle. Tapos etong si "bestfriend", dun dumaan sa opposite direction tas dun sa likod ko. Nung nandun na siya sa likod ko, he patted my head and medyo ginulo hair ko and sinabing "hi bestfriend *with a smile*" then lakad palabas ng room. God, that smile. Hahaha pakyu ka. Pakyu talaga. There are things you would not have the chance to know; things I never should have recognized. But honestly, I missed your smile. I missed how you were so kulit.

When you were already out of the room, I immediately talked to Chu (NV)

Me: CHUA

Chua: oh bakit?

M: hi bestfriend daw *then reenacts how he patted my head* hehehehe hi daw

C: ay nako karmella bespren mo to *rolls eyes*

M: woooo hi bestfriend daw!!!

C: *ignores me*

M: CHUA PANSININ MO KO HAHAHAHA HI BESTFRIEND DAW

C: ako nga karmella eh tigil tigilan mo hahahaha mukha mo bestfriend. "Bestfriend" ROLLS EYES

M: *checks fb* *saw that today was our friendversary*

M: chua oh *shows friendversary* FRIENDVERSARY PALA NAMIN HAHAHAHAHAH BAKA KAYA MAY PA HI BESTFRIEND SIYA

C: *kunot noo* ayoko hahaha ayoko makita. Ayoko sakanya tigilan mo ko sa kaka bestfriend mo diyan

M: ayaw mo talaga siya for me?? HAHAHAA

C: oo ayoko siya hahaha ayoko talaga karmella ayoko sakanya

HAHAHAHAHA puta tawang tawa ako napakahater sobrang basher ni Chua. Hanggang kaninang Biochem sinisimangutan ako HAHAHAHAHA hello Chua, kung mababasa mo man to, alam kong hindi mo to ililike hahahaha labyu mwa

[karmyyyy]

The batang kumota

I was really reluctant to go to the seminar a while ago bc hello? It's a Monday?? And call time was 8:30 AM?? Plus nagtalo pa kami ni mommy (hahahahays). I thought to myself pa "Could this day get any worse?" But then I got to school, OHHH BOY WAS I WRONG. This day just got better. Bc si kuya crush nandon!!! Oh wait, si Engr. pala ehehe. (Non-verbatim)

Engr: uy karm pahiram naman ballpen

Me: ah sige wait lang

E: tsaka if may paper ka, pahingi naman

M: notebook lang to e, okay lang like punit?

E: oo okay lang. The best ka talaga Karm

WIWS. Siyempre si ategurl niyo nakapagpigil pa konti. Tas nung medj malayo na si crush, kinelangan ko pa tumalikod para kiligin hahaha pakaharot. Good morning, Karm!!! Such a nice day no? Then in the afternoon, I was with my friend (na kaclose din ni Engr.) Sooo nung nadaanan namin siya, we stopped by tas konting kwentuhan. Edi I let them talk kasi I was trying to contact our other tropa na kasama sa mga host for the seminar. While nagrring yung phone, magkausap si Engr. and si friend. Tapos saktong pagkasagot netong tropa ko sa phone niya (PAKA WRONG TIMING TALAGA), Engr. turned to me and asked me something. Eh naghello na nga yung tropa ko sa phone so ganto nangyari

(NV)

Engr: ikaw karm kumusta? Nagkakausap pa kayo ni blank?

Me: hala wait lang kuya sorry, kausapin ko lang tong si tropa

E: sige sige hahah

Friend: sige kuya dun lang muna kami ni karm

M: *binaba yung phone call*

F: *whispers* tinatanong ni kuya kung may boyfriend ka na daw

M: totoo??

F: oo nga hahaha loka loka

HAHAHAH HOY TAENA SABI KO NA KRAS AKO NETO E CHARR 😂😂

And another one!!!

E: ano karm nagkakausap pa kayo ni *blank*?

M: hala hindi na tagal na nun hahaha

F: uy kuya punta ka ba UP Fair? Sa diliman ka nagp phD diba?

E: wala pa akong ticket haha kayo ba manunuod?

F: ako oo pero saturday, sa roots

M: ako rin, pero thurs sa elements

E: sige sabihan niyo ko pano makabili ticket haha. Tsaka pupunta lang ako pag may kasama blah blah blah. *to friend* ikaw may bf ka na ata eh hahaha

F: di natin kelangan yun kuya hahaha ikaw nga wala e 😂

E: ikaw karm haha may date ka na ba sa valentine's?

HOY HAHAHA BAKIT GANUN NA YUNG TANONG PAKIIBA HAHAHAH SHOOKEDT SI ACU ENEBE KESHE NEMEN EH. Okay yun lang talaga, I just had to vent bc lamoyun wala na makakahiram ng ballpen ko HAHAHA

[karmyyyy]

Underneath the bright smiles

and strong facade

was something so heavy

that even the thought of explaining

weighs her down

[karmyyyy]

WORD OF THE DAY: 

decathect 

[dee-kuh-thekt]  verb

to withdraw one’s feelings of attachment from (a person, idea, or object), as in anticipation of a future loss: He decathected from her in order to cope with her impending death.

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