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It’s kinda cool how we all speak different languages but the sound for a laugh is universal.
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I need to get this off my chest
Friends. Oh, boy, I've laid awake night after night after night after night thinking about who's real and who's not real in my life. It always feels like I'm the third wheel and the annoying tag along. I don't know how many times I've said this. I've cried so many tears over people who I think don't care for me and have replaced me for others many a time. People I grew up with- you know who you are- who I thought I would be close with I'm not so close anymore. People I thought were my best friends - you also know who you are- you guys stole my friends from me. It's like the life I've built in the ten years I've been here was falling apart right in front of my eyes. Still is. Tell me, how do you guys do it? Take other people from people and call them yours? Text them all the time without being left on read or them never texting you and you just sit there waiting for your phone to buzz with people dying to talk to you? Take pictures with each other like it's planned and not having to ask " oh we should take pics!!", but if you don't ask there will be no pictures? Hang out with someone and once again think you're best friends again and that life is going swell but the seconds someone else shows up, you're the third wheel? Ask people to hang out without feeling embarrassed or even fear at the thought of rejection? How do you f r i e n d? How do you m a k e friends? How can you just throw people out that have always been there for you like they never were there in the first place? I've always been there for everyone who I thought was a friend and who needed a shoulder to cry on. I've always been the go-between, the one who doles out advice like candy and the one people come to with their problems and the one who fixes people's friendships. When that happens, I'm tossed aside again. However, I'm still invitied to stuff, but its like I'm only invited bc they feel sorry for me. Like they don't want me there. I'm fucking tired of having to be that girl. I didn't do anything to deserve this. This about sums up my relationships. I always put their feelings before mine. It's always their decision not mine. I feel like a puppy following its owner. I've had so many people I was once close with find other people and push me behind on the sidewalk while they walk ahead, because I guess I wasn't good enough. Not 'cool' enough. I was a nerd. A weirdo. Someone who you think is annoying. Clingy. Whatever. So many people have dropped me completely because I guess they wanted to fly higher and I was a deadweight dragging them down. If you've managed to read all this (kudos to you) but feel like it isn't aimed at you. It is. It's aimed at everyone I've ever felt a connection with and you know e x a c t l y who you are. Yeah, you. I'm done trying to uphold friendships that aren't worth keeping. Stop wasting my time and stop acting like you're a friend when in reality you're just trying to walk the walk like you talk the talk. Oh, and one more question, how do you do it? Make friends and make 'em stick? Because I, clearly, lack that talent.
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I was so busy trying to comfort others that I'd forgotten how to let others comfort me.
(via @katkite)
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what will future historians do with this
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lets just lay in our underwear and make out for hours
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its kind of sad when you hit up and old friend and you both really miss each other but the connection just isnt there anymore
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