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[katslibrary]

I wrote to a postcrosser the other day that I feel the most in tune with myself when I am sitting in my garden reading poetry. That is when I can self reflect and think of ways to better myself.

I am someone who suffers from mental illness and always tries to find a way to be my most authentic self. One of my favorite entries from Home Body by Rupi Kaur is: 

“you didn’t lose it happiness has always been here - you just lost perspective”

I relate with this the most. For the longest time I was so unhappy because I wasn’t putting myself first and once I started to love myself again that’s when I was happy, when I was my most authentic self. I stopped waiting around for other people and started to do the things that made me feel like me whether it was being with nature by hiking or camping or when I was creating again, working on diy projects, painting, writing, etc. 

I am the happiness I have ever been. And if I do lose sight of it, poetry always helps me with my self realization... 

“you lose everything 

when you don’t love yourself 

- and gain everything when you do”

...and it teaches me to be unapologetic for my journey of self love and self discovery...

“there is nothing wrong with you

this is growth

this is transformation

protecting yourself

getting lost in the noise

figuring it out

feeling used

uncared for

losing hope

burning out

this is fear

this is processing

this is surviving

this is being alive”

If you are on a self journey and need to reflect and to embrace growth I would recommend Home Body. I am still on this continuous journey of learning how to love myself, I have to remember to accept myself for who I am flaws and all and also accept and embrace the change in me. I deserve happiness. I am loved. I am worthy. I am enough.