katyusha454 - Tumblr blog

[katyusha454]

We all know Dark Justiciar Shadowheart is a mean domme. But what if she's not always mean? Sure, most of the time she's cold and cruel and punishes you mercilessly for the slightest mistake. But even becoming the new Mother Superior isn't enough to completely eliminate her nice side. She still craves softness, she just can't let herself have it. Buy maybe, on very, very rare occasions when you've been behaving and she's in a good mood, she'll be gentle with you.

It only ever happens in the privacy of her bedchamber. She can't even let anyone in the congregation see this weakness of hers lest they accuse her of heresy. But is it really heresy to do something you have to hide? Is not this secrecy an act of devotion in itself? That's how she justifies it to herself, anyway. And you certainly aren't going to question her; you've learned well by now to never, ever question your Lady's Chosen.

And it's not like you'd want to complain anyway. You love when she's soft, it reminds you of...something you can't quite remember, but you know it was a pleasant memory. Besides, it certainly gives you plenty of incentive to behave and always do your best during lessons.

It does have one side effect though. Sometimes when you go to bed together afterward you have strange dreams. You dream about things that never happened, people you've never met, places you've never been. You wake up in the middle of the night confused, convinced you're somewhere or someone else. This usually wakes Shadowheart up too, and she holds you close and makes soft shushing sounds until you calm down.

She asks you what's wrong and of course you tell her about your dream; you know better than to keep secrets from her. She always reassures you that everything is all right, though occasionally she sleepily mutters things under her breath like "You remembered that again? Dammit." You wonder what that means, but you don't ask her. You don't think you want to know.

She reassures you that everything's fine, you're safe, she knows these strange dreams are distressing but don't worry, we'll visit the Mirror in the morning and you'll feel better then.

[katyusha454]

shadowzel truthers RISE UP

[katyusha454]

not enough people are into shadowheart/nocturne and it makes me feel insane. like what do you MEAN shadowheart used to beat up people who deadnamed nocturne. what do you MEAN shadowheart would frequently have her memories wiped, but nocturne could get her to remember nocturne in a matter of HOURS if not minutes, and would write on her diary about how happy it'd make her to see the expression on shadowheart's face when she remembered? what do you MEAN that if you give shadowheart the noblestalk, a mushroom so rare and potent there is only ONE of them in the entire game, she doesn't remember her parents or the day with the wolves or the mother superior's name but just nocturne? what do you MEAN nocturne was the one who did shadowheart's hair, and she kept at it until her arms were sore, and even without remembering that at all shadowheart still kept the same canonically hard to redo hairstyle? did shadowheart even like night orchids before their hideout, or did they become her favorite flowers because they were there? were they even actually her favorite flowers, or did she just mix up her attachment to nocturne with attachment to the flowers after forgetting her? hello? hello? can anybody hear me????

[katyusha454]

"omg my favourite assassin i've missed yo--"

[katyusha454]

I really like drawing mid-battle kissies

[katyusha454]

Her <3

[katyusha454]

So the idea that tav could just draw astarion is like a solution to his no-mirror problem. But like. You have tadpoles. You can tap into eahcother’s thoughts. Just look into tav’s head and what tav is staring at. It’s a perfect mirror.

Tav and astarion staring at each other for 20 minutes in the morning while Astarion fixes his hair.

[katyusha454]

Thinkin about them

[katyusha454]

There are two manipulators in camp, and the more successful one isn't Astarion. It's Shadowheart. I'm not saying that Shadow is a better manipulator necessarily, but that she uses more successful tactics than Astarion.

Astarion does not care about your relationship or affinity with the other companions. He only cares about your relationship and affinity with him. He may call everyone "darling" but he flirts with you. He gets in your ear and says sweet and nice things... to you. He compliments... you. He plays around... with you. He wants you to feel good about yourself which will make you feel good about him. Most of his manipulation moments happen in one on one scenarios, where it is just you and him. He is a very different man when he's with you because he's manipulating you. He acts very differently with people around you or in group settings. If anything, the person he is in group settings is closer to the real man he is cause he's not trying to manipulate everyone.

He puts on this overly flirtatious mask cause he is using you to guarantee his survival (at least at first). But, because he puts this mask on in one on one scenarios, it only takes just one second to you to see through it to fail. And if you happen to catch on to him, you can see very easily through the mask. The manipulation instantly fails and he is forced to be himself to try to maintain your approval. But if you don't see his mask early on, he could convince you to do just about anything, even the most heinous of actions. And then when he willingly lets his mask fall or feels he no longer needs it and you see the real him, it's too late. You've already fallen in love with him. Now, he can do no wrong in your eyes.

Shadow uses nearly the exact opposite approach. She does care about your relationship and affinity for others. To be precise, she wants you to have a slightly unfavorable opinion of the others so that she comes out as the favored by default. Lae'zel is a particular target of this. She avoids one on one scenarios and pushes you away every time you try to get close. Yes, it is that inner Sharran of hers in regards to keeping secrets. But also the fact that she's super easy to see through if you get close to her, so she wants to keep you away for the sole purpose that you don't see that she's manipulating you. But, even if you do, she still has the benefit of the doubt on her side.

Her manipulation mostly takes place in group scenarios. She takes advantage of things as they happen and she says very precise words to sway your opinion in the way she wants. Unfortunately, Lae'zel is a perfect example of how successful this manipulation tactic can be. Shadow doesn't not need to tell you Lae'zel is dangerous, she just reminds you that she is while Lae'zel is actively doing dangerous things. Shadow will even openly admit to this tactic and it will fly over your head that that's exactly what she's doing because she has made herself appear as someone who wouldn't do it to you. Or, admitting to it can make you doubt that she ever would as you may think, "a real manipulator wouldn't admit to manipulating me, right?" Her manipulation is all about planting just the slightest bit of doubt, and you do the rest and manipulate yourself for her. And she does it so marvelously. She makes sure that the only person you don't doubt is her.

Astarion's manipulation requires that you never see through his bullshit at any given point in time. If you do, the manipulation fails. Shadow's manipulation can survive you seeing through her bullshit because everyone, somehow, keeps proving her right anyway.

[katyusha454]

I'm so curious about Kagha, because she's so different from Halsin. She and Halsin are both wood elves, and I get the sense that Kagha is probably not ~young~ but she's not nearly as old as Halsin. When you deal with the Shadow Druids, she's very quick to defer to him and treat him like a teacher she's disappointed. He probably mentored her, if he's chosen her as his second in command - though, I would bet it's in more of a general thing in the way that the First Druid is everyone's mentor, rather than the clearly more direct and specific mentorship he has with Nettie as a healer.

Canonically, Halsin isn't an exceptionally good leader. He's not bad at it, and he has good instincts. He correctly surmises that after the dust-up with Kagha and the tieflings, the Emerald Grove needs an outsider to step in and lead without being tied to any particular grudges or politics. That's savvy enough that I think Halsin was a good First Druid, he just wasn't especially good or great at it and clearly didn't like the position. At worst, I think he let some situations fester because of his focus on the Shadow Curse.

But I'm not ready to say that he didn't realize Kagha was a proverbial snake in the grass ~the whole time~, because I don't think she was. I think she was genuinely and recently radicalized by the Shadow Druids. I think she probably had something of an edge before, maybe she was a hardass or had a mean streak or something. Regardless of how I feel about the quality of the Shadow Druid subplot (which is that I think its pacing is meh and Kagha's face-turn is way too fast and kind of shitty), I think it speaks to the fact that her care for the Grove is genuine. That perhaps Halsin's failure with her wasn't in not realizing she was A Bad Person Actually, but in not tending to her insecurities or noticing that she might be feeling isolated, if she was so effectively shaken by the Shadow Druids' fearmongering.

The recent wave of IRL cults should have taught us all by now that everyone is susceptible to cult tactics if they're sufficiently scared and alone, and BG3 is a game riddled with various cults. You don't have to already be a bad person, or a stupid or weak person, to fall for them. And I think Kagha's story is way less interesting if you just think she's an evil power hungry shrew too stupid to keep herself from being radicalized.

She clearly has a nasty streak, but her apologies and regrets also sound sincere, if you manage to hear them. Even when she isn't "redeemed", she accepts her punishments, even if she does so bitterly and not believing she was wrong. And I have to wonder just how much of that mean streak is self-defensive rather than inherent in her, how much of it is that she struggles to admit failure and learn from it. Or how much is her modeling Halsin's level of single-minded commitment, picking a methodology or an action and throwing all of her weight behind it, even when it may no longer be working.

I wish characters like Kagha got nearly as much love and fandom development and benefit of the doubt as someone like Ketheric. I think she has a ton of potential for that, and way fewer crimes to her name than other fandom favorites who just happen to also be, you know. Men.

[katyusha454]

I wondered why Tumblr said I had a draft post saved when I was pretty sure I didn't. Turns out Luna tried to write a post for me.

[katyusha454]

Ah yes, the rare but exquisite MSILF. (Mother Superior I'd Like to Fuck)

Wrinkled Shadowheart 💙💜

[katyusha454]

Consider: Dark Justiciar Shadowheart would be eager to take in Arabella and Yenna because she'd want to "help" them the same way Viconia "helped" her. I don't think Arabella would buy her Sharran bullshit because she's got Bone Grandpa looking out for her, but she might be able to convert Yenna if none of the other companions stops her.

[katyusha454]

Luna the littlest moonwitch is helping me kill Gortash.

[katyusha454]

[katyusha454]

My Tav only wants one thing and she's not afraid to show it.

[katyusha454]

People calling Shadowheart Jenevelle are so weird like she very explicitly says she doesn't want to be called that, that her becoming Shadowheart is part of her journey and who she is today