kcrmina-blog

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“She had wrapped her marble-like body in a huge fur, and rolled herself up trembling like a cat.”

– Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, Venus in Furs

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siinclairs:

how did it come to this? was a question that repeated itself over and over like an image running on an endless loop. he reminded himself that it had to happen, it happened because they both betrayed one another. who was worse? it was left up to them to decide but theo didn’t think his fault was nearly as worse as what she had done. it was like a day like no other, they’d do something together and lie with one another and that specific day – karmina stepped out and he got curious. her phone lit up and conveniently it was left for him to snoop through. he grabbed the phone from her spot on the bed and let his eyes have a field day on the information. what he wasn’t ready for was the long message stating that he was nothing but a piece in her game. that he was only a bridge for her to climb over and get to the goal, his mother. he had never felt true heartbreak until then. theo was the type to break hearts, he never wanted  – nor expected to feel it. he felt it for days, it was like a sinking feeling that he couldn’t stop. the heart was still there, still beating to every other organ in his body. it was still filtering oxygen and doing its duty as the one of the powers in his body he felt so hollow that it was like his heart got up and left. he was a walking zombie, he was numb from his mind down. he didn’t believe that he could have ever been played the way he was. it was a funny situation, he did laugh about it but that laughter was quick to turn into the anger he had been bottling up for some time. the night their trust broke, they broke apart never to speak again – or so theo hoped. it was as if the world wanted more, that it had more plans for them. otherwise they wouldn’t be constantly running into each other, theo almost wanted to believe fate did exist but that was all a bullshit lie; their fate was the circle they both ran in. he threw up his hand with a puzzle look written across his face, “i wanted to take a chance. maybe, for once – you’d actually do us both a favor and show that you have a side to you that’d actually listen.” his voice was unusually high as he attempted to seem chipper.  “but how will i know you’re dead baby girl. take one for the team and drop dead first, i’m sure your fashion beauty shit will definitely miss you since..well that’s all your about right?” he smiled, it wasn’t sincere in the least. something snapped and the atmosphere changed, wasn’t it always like that with them? they could take the brightest room and turn it upside down with their presence and their nasty words. how funny that once they would embrace any event, any situation with their shared happiness and now it was nothing but leaving places in a gloomy mess with a cloud over both their heads. “what makes you think i can’t, karmina?” he said, the muscle in his jaw worked as his teeth clenched together. her words shot into him like daggers, the familiar hollow feeling in his chest returned and he nearly felt sick. he matched her by leaning forward himself, face to face – “maybe because i didn’t know that such a beautiful face hid such an ugly bitch, but you won’t fool anyone anymore and i’ll make sure of that. any success you’ll have, any excitement, any happiness karmina – i’ll make sure to take that away from you. maybe you’ll be stupid and slip up again and wow look at me, i’ll just find my way into exposing you again.” 

success was never a foreign concept for the elite, and karmina was no exception to that. all her life she’d been groomed for it, the silver spoon lodged between her pretty pink lips all but enough to ensure she’d be set for life. but like most upper class families things were never as clear cut as they seemed, and the dulay’s liked to play games. settling with what she was given had never been an option for the girl. even if she had wanted to, which she didn’t, her mother would have never allowed it. and so an ambition as dangerous as it was strong grew within the confines of her steely heart, festering and maturing as she grew older like some fine wine. karmina was determined to get exactly what she wanted in life, already a full blown hurricane before she’d even finished her adolescence, and god help anyone who would stand in the way. manipulation wasn’t an art the girl had known she’d excel at before she met theo. his mother was who she wanted, who all the goals she’d been setting catered to, and so it seemed so simple then. get close to him, get close to her. win his trust, win her trust. charm him, charm her. never had her cruel game seemed like a bad idea in the beginning. the idea of faking a relationship was easy because she had never believed in them, the concept of love and affection an unnecessary distraction to her life plans. she was a certified ice queen — having her heart thawed bit by bit by the very person she was playing was not part of the plan. karmina had never expected anything more to come of it. she was so sure of herself, so focused in furthering her career that she’d been blindsided by her own feelings. it was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. when they were happy, they could light up entire cities together. every party was like a dream, their lavish lifestyle all the more bright in each other’s company. after they split it was the complete opposite, their anger so fierce it was a kind of passion. the hate and hurt they now harbored in their hearts was just as strong as the love that was there before it. they were obsessive in their need to see each other fail, to make the other feel the holes they’d left in each other’s chests. it was backwards and twisted, and completely horrible considering if their plan was to move on from each other, they were clearly doing a terrible job. “ i’ll listen once you have something remotely interesting to contribute — so, never. ” karmina snipped back, narrowing her eyes at theo like an upset cat. she clenched her jaw, teeth grinding into each other. “ just because i have an actual life outside of collecting cars and sipping vodka martinis on exotic beaches doesn’t make me a career absorbed bitch, but what the hell do you know about actually being good at something anyway, huh ? ” she pretended to sympathize, lips curled in a mock pout. she noted the tenseness in his stance, the hard set of the jaw she used to mindlessly trace with fingers and lips. once upon a time she’d been infatuated with his hard features, now they were like a slap in the face. karmina stifled a breath as he leaned in close, her words momentarily caught at the back of her throat. “ because you’re weak. ” she hissed, leaning in close enough so that her lips could brush against his ear. “ you’re nothing but an entitled narcissist, to busy dreaming about fucking your car than to realize you were getting played by this pretty face. you think you’re enough to ruin me ? think again, babe. i’ll always be one step ahead of you. ” with that she pulled away, the smile on her face cold as ice. 

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✆

NAME: carm

( ✖ ┋❛ &. TEXT → CARM: whatever you do please promise me you won’t make out with any frat boys out partying 

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NAME: asshole  

( ✖ ┋❛ &. TEXT → ASSHOLE: i know you’re a lot of things, theo, but a stalker? god how cliché can you get ( ✖ ┋❛ &. TEXT → ASSHOLE: i hope beach barbie number five gives you chlamydia you insufferable dick    

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siinclairs:

anger boiled in his chest like a second instinct. karmina brought out the worst and good in him; that was once upon a time but now there was nothing but lingering what if’s and more hatred than any what if question he had in his mind. he had never wanted someone to fall from success, he never wanted someone so bad to fail and he wanted to be the reason for it. theo swore the day they ended it that he’d get her back. whatever they had wasn’t over. it was going well for the most part after the break up that he had nearly forgotten his anger promise he made, that was until he face was the reminder all that he needed for himself to find that hidden hate and bring it back to the suffer. how he had wished they didn’t run in the same circle, but it was bound to happen. the break up left a horrible taste in his mouth. he had never been so hurt by a person. there was a difference between having someone using him as a rebound versus using him to just get to his family. the rebound, he wouldn’t have much of an emotional attachment. it was an easy game to play and the sex was just as easy. being used for a personal gain left him scarred, wondering if someone would want him just to gain something out of him. he had never truly felt anything for anyone the way he did for karmina. he truly felt happy with her and she snatched that away as she came and went – reminding him how useless relationships were to begin with. she took the only happiness outside of material things, he found the concept hilarious. it was comical how a human being could bring such joy to another and they could easily be the reason for unhappiness, how cruel. “i’m just asking, kar. come on, i’m just saying you didn’t have to call them that.” he replied with an exaggerated eye roll. “it is? can i watch you die then? it’d bring me so much joy. go on, come on. it’d brighten up the day for sure. i’ll make sure your obituary is full of nothing but the t r u t h.” he snickered, “as long as we both recognize you’re nothing more than a heartless bitch then what else is there to touch upon with the subject?” his expression fell flat. he pressed his lips into a thin firm line. “god, fuck you. i want nothing more than for you to realize you’re a lonely empty bitch.” he sat up now, turning to face her. something twisted in his chest, longing maybe – he ignored it. “you’re nothing more than this fake being walking around like a prim robot thinking she has what it takes to make it out there. i’ll be there making sure you go no where.” he spewed, narrowing his eyes at her.

it was so goddamn easy for theo to make her blood boil, every one of her veins burning with hatred. it was so easy for him to act like he was completely innocent in the situation, as if he hadn’t broken her trust too by treating her like a murder suspect instead of a girlfriend and snooping trough her private property. she was sick with it, choking on her pride and whatever unresolved feelings still lingered in his presence after their breakup. if he was so keen to cast her as the villain and himself as the hero wounded then karmina would gladly play her part, knocking every one of his castles down one by one until he crumbled with them and she emerged as the champion. it was so much easier to go to war with theo than to admit that she hurt him, that they hurt each other. sabotaging his happiness was fulfilling in some cruel way she wished she didn’t understand, every scheme and ploy momentarily dulling the ache inside her chest that came from seeing him nearly every day. the girl truly hated that he wouldn’t just disappear, both literally and figuratively from her everyday thoughts. their feud was making moving on from their past practically impossible, although if that was intentional or not on both their parts, neither one of them would ever admit. “ and what the fuck gave you the impression that i’d actually listen to anything you ask ? amazing, i’d almost forgotten how eloquent you were. ” karmina drawled, her words dry and sardonic in nature. “ i’ll drop dead right after i kill you, how’s that babe ? ” she spits back, knuckles clenched, her voice overly honeyed on the ironic use of a term of endearment. “ and you’re nothing more than a whiny, clueless prick, are we done stating the obvious ? ” her voice was a hiss, a bullet cutting through the silence. anger laced itself between every one of her words like a spider weaving its web, nothing but a sticky death trap left in it’s wake. how strongly she would fight to tear him down, refusing for even a moment to entertain the idea of him winning, of him being capable enough to beat her after all the damage she’d already caused. “ you can’t realize something that isn’t true. you think i’m heartless now ? that i’ve already hurt you so bad ? get over yourself, you fucking asshole. you have no idea what i could do to you. ” karmina didn’t shy away from his gaze, his eyes so familiar it was almost heartbreaking. she could reach out and stroke his cheek if she wanted to, god, she could even kiss him. instead her expression was nearly blank, an icy coldness hardening the girlish curve of her plump lips. “ — and what makes you so sure you can stop me, theo ? ” she challenges, nothing but cruelty intended in every inflection of her voice. how badly she wanted to see him fail. in this moment, karmina felt she’d give anything for it. she leans forward. “ you were easy enough to trick once. i beat you, and i can do it again and again, for however long it takes for you to realize i’m always going to be the one that wins. ”

[kcrmina-blog]

Send me a ✆ to know your name/picture/last text in my character’s mobile.

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siinclairs:

the word lazy and theo walk hand in hand. his parents hadn’t suspected much of him doing anything outside of their home. he’d attend his father’s “big” sort of missions or cases and he’d follow after his mother’s deals and watch carefully but none of that really appealed to him. they thought their son aspires to be something, something great but he had them fooled with mirrored smiles and wide eyes full of promises and compromise but as soon as they turned, he stripped of the facade and returned to his old habits; sleep, drink and blow money on material things. karmina was the best thing that had ever happened to him. she made him want to do more. she was one of the more persistent, confident, ambitious people he had ever met. karmina held herself in a certain way that attracted him more than just wanting her from what the surface presented. she made him want to be someone. for a brief moment in time, he wanted to himself to be known a sinclair, he wanted to do someone proud but all of that had been thrown out the window. the world had an odd way of having things working out. he clicked his teeth together, soft tsk’s fell from his lips as he shook his head. “don’t call those beautiful girls beach side barbies.” he emphasized. he closed his eyes briefly, a small moan passed between his lips. “so beautiful, karmina. bet you’d want to relate.” his smile was wide and obnoxious as it was forced upon his face. “you’re never going to stop acting like you’re the toughest shit that’s walked this earth huh?” his eyes fell down to the shared distance, how once upon a time he’d reach over and take her hand in his and how once upon a time he’d even pull her up and onto him. the past had an odd way of creeping into his mind at the most inconvenient times. “you’re complaining about people who have much more of a heart that’s enclosed in that cold case of yours.” he rolled his eyes. his fingers tapped in a line across his knee, wishing he had stayed at the beach now and accepted his fate with the hot sun and the girls. “but wait, fucking idiot – theo, she doesn’t have a heart. she walks around like a robot and enjoys using people for her benefit.” he laughed, it was dry – humorless but just as he had laughed, his features solidified into something more serious. “your specialty.” 

karmina had known all her life she was capable of accomplishing anything she wanted to. she refused to feed into the rotten cycle of wealth and entitlement and be another trust fund baby with nothing to show for their last names other than a silver spoon lodged permanently between their lips. sitting around and doing nothing with her time wasn’t an option — only success was, and it would have to come from herself for it to count. karmina was ambitious to a fault, that much evident when it came to what she’d done to theo. was she proud of the way she used him ? no, not anymore. would she ever admit it ? over her dead body, maybe. it was hard enough admitting it to herself anyway, and the thought of being vulnerable towards theo again when all she’d seen from him lately were smirks that made her want to throw something at him or anger made her sick. “ why, because you’re not smart enough to tell the difference a derogatory comment and a simple statement ? ” she inquired, sarcasm rolling off her tongue like honey. the girl paled at the literal moan passing from his lips, the sound making her uncomfortable in more ways than one. but reacting would only add to the unfair pull theo still had over her, and so karmina simply pressed her glossed lips into a thin line. “ the only acting i’m doing is acting like the sound of your voice yapping isn’t slowly but surely draining my will to live right now. ” she bit back, obviously irritated. every angry inhale was only an invitation for her senses to be muddled by the scent of salt and sunscreen wafting off his smooth skin, which was entirely unfair for karmina’s standards. hating theo was supposed to be black and white, and yet everything was nothing but a murky grey in his presence. “ the heartless bitch card, really ? maybe next time try an insult our entire group of friends, for starters, haven’t exhausted already. ” something tugged at her chest at his last statement — regret, anger, the heart attack her probably unnaturally high blood pressure was sure to bring about someday ? maybe all three, or maybe it was something else entirely, a longing for times when things had been different. “ you know, you’re a big boy theo. just get the hell over it, because having to listen to you bring up all the wrongs ever bestowed upon you in pretty much any conversation we have is about as enjoyable as sticking a fork in my eye would be. ”

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carmelcs:

“ learn to live a little, minakins ! miami is a splendid place to be, college boys aside, ” carmela countered. truthfully, the brunette was happy to be back in her hometown. she found comfort in the familiar smells of latin cuisine. “ the sun is shining, and i don’t know about you, but i can hear the beach calling my name. it’s the perfect time and place to work on your tan – paris could never ! ”

“ sorry carm, but all of the magic city’s charm is lost once you witness a frat boy throwing up into an ocean while two drunk girls are ugly crying next to him. ” karmina finished, cringing in distaste at the still fresh memory. why anyone would envy the typical college experience was beyond her, the idea of willingly wanting to lose so many brain cells unfathomable. “ if you even think i’m willing to walk back out into that festering pot of stds and alcohol poising you’re very mistaken. i’ll be tanning in the comfort of our private pool, where the only horny infant i need to worry about is ezra. ”

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siinclairs:

theo’s grand entrance included some humming and the scent picked up from the beach he was lying at earlier. there was nothing particularly grand about theo’s entrance other than his loud humming. upon recognizing there wasn’t a body in sight, he plopped himself down on a couch and propped his feet up for another few hours of doing nothing but relaxing; as if he didn’t do that earlier for a number of hours. his hours on the beach was a time well spent, with the horizon sparkling under the bright sun and the girls left him wanting to stay much longer than anticipated but even they’d leave him bored. so he returned home. it was peaceful for the time he was here, five? ten? fifteen minutes even before her voice had come out of the air like a missile straight into his ears leaving him groaning and sinking in his seat. he almost wanted to smile seeing karmina worked up over something as stupid as a location but he refrained and remembered all the terrible things that came with just the thought of her name. his head tilted to the side as his eyes scanned the features, from her brown eyes to her lips shaping her angry words. “frat boys aren’t up to your standards huh? you’re just too good for them, aren’t you mina?” his head fell to the other side, his tongue flicked over his lower lip as he let out a small laugh. “paris is full of tourists too, everywhere is. shut up.” he then added in a mumble, “go somewhere where i don’t have to see you.”

all her life karmina had considered herself an impenetrable fortress. more ice than girl, she’d learned to keep her walls up tight, a side effect of growing up with a mother who had bullets for words. brat, bitch, spoiled — the insults had gotten more creative over the years, sure, but the girl was still determined to shrug them off in the same way she might shrug off a designer fur coat. karmina dulay was a goddamn marble castle, but like all concepts, her unfazed demeanor had a fault. the fact that her fault happened to be sitting shirtless not three feet from her, though, was just another cruel blow from the universe on top of their already unfortunate location. her head snaps around to face him, eyes already narrowed into their usual cat like slits in the presence of her ex-boyfriend. “ oh i’m so sorry theo, that unlike some of us i seem to have actual standards. considering the fact that i’m sure you’ve thought about dicking down one of those beach side barbies today with a blood alcohol content higher than a long island iced tea, i hardly see how you’re in any position to judge me. ” she snipped, nose crinkling in disgust to cover up the fact that he was close enough to smell the ocean on him. close enough to run her hands over the smooth ridges of his abs in the same way the girl used to. karmina crossed her arms, breaking eye contact so she could examine her manicure, the only sure way her angry demeanor wouldn’t falter in their proximity. “ for your information, tourists in paris are hardly comparable to this zoo. if i wanted to star in my own version of that god awful movie with james franco about spring break, i would have done it already. — and the fact that you think you can shoo me away like some dog and think i’d actually listen is precisely in character enough for you to be as laughable as it is stupid. ”

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I look at you and it’s like my throat being cut.

Catherynne M. Valente, Deathless (via antigonick)

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And she was truly a puzzle, but God forgive anyone who mistook her for a game.

Sophia Carey (via wordsnquotes)

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If you won’t be my friend, you’ll regret being my enemy.

The Winner’s Crime by Maire Rutkoski (via xanrps)

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