keepingupwithkrispy

[keepingupwithkrispy]

Gratitude reminds us to be like plants, which turn toward, not away from the light. -Mary Jane Ryan

When hard times come, we tend to magnify their importance and minimize the things that are good in our lives. Regaining balance involves recognizing all that we have to be grateful for, even things as small as a delicious cup of coffee or comfort from the warmth of sunshine. What are you grateful for today?

I am grateful for two of my very best friends. We have stuck by each other for the last 10+ years and together we have grown and evolved. Through all of our ups and downs we’ve had a supportive friendship to fall back on.

I am grateful for M. We haven’t known each other very long, but what I’ve built with my closest friends is mimicked in my relationship with him. I am many different versions of myself, but at my core I’ve remained the same.

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What was I like when I was young, when I was “myself?” What qualities do I miss about her?

I miss being free.

I’ve always picked up on energies and feelings. When I was young I didn’t fully acknowledge situations. I let things be. Whereas now, if I notice or feel something I try to acknowledge the rift in those situations, which can be exhausting in instances where I’m not taken into account.

What could society be if every being had heightened self awareness? No judgment, but compassion and kindness to give freely.

[keepingupwithkrispy]

In 3 separate sections describe yourself one year from now. 1. This is who you wish you could be. If everything goes perfectly, who will you be? 2. This is realistically who you will be in one year. Based on how you really act and how the past and present has shown you. 3. This is who you could be if everything went wrong and you went down the wrong path. Be honest with yourself for this prompt it can show you a lot of truth.

1. I would be fulfilled because I would have what I consider the perfect work-life balance. I would be in a position that allows me to have a say in my schedule in terms of hours, days and pay. I would be able to wake up in the morning more than two days out of the week and say I want to do this today and do it.

2. I will continue to follow my intuition. When I started my current role as a remote telephonic nurse case manager I did it with the intention of traveling to feel where I belong. At the moment, Colorado feels like home…

3. If everything went wrong I would give in to my thoughts. I would be a depressed sack of shit going through the motions. Although, I enjoy my job - I don’t love the rigid schedule, but I would stay in the position because it’s easier than learning a new role. I wouldn’t put in the effort to stay active when it’s significantly easier to do nothing. I would stay comfortable and lazy and hope for an easy way out.

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What is my personal definition of self-love? Define what self-love means to you, and commit to cultivating it in your life.

self-love - taking care of my needs…Maslow’s Hierarchy specifically physiological, love and belonging and self-actualization.

As much as I provide for myself on a daily basis - it’s exhausting to not have a full support system. My energy levels fluctuate and I don’t have the capacity for 100% day in and day out. Sometimes I wonder what the fuck I’m doing, but try to remind myself I can live the life I want as long as I continue to take care of me. Focusing on multiple aspects of my health (mental, emotional, physical) has done wonders for how I show up. I have daily habits that I practice and I have slowly incorporated more as I’ve aged: vitamins, drinking enough water, adequate protein intake/eating whole foods, weekly journaling, practicing gratitude to name a few.

How can I cultivate self-love? Staying strong, building mental fortitude and continuing to do the little things that will reap benefits for my future self by prioritizing some form of physical activity! I spend the most time with me, so why not fill it with my definition of love 💌

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What lessons have you learned from past mistakes or failures? Embrace the lessons and wisdom you've gained from difficult experiences, and use them to grow and evolve.

It doesn’t always pay to see the best in people. A lesson I have learned and continue to learn is that I am not a reflection of another being. Sure, they can teach me something about myself, but their actions and behaviors don’t reflect how I am as a human.

One day I won’t be so naive or perhaps foolish. Until then, I take each experience as a learning opportunity - always growing and evolving.

As for my failures - I accept them and move forward. The failures I have experienced make me believe they serve a purpose. Every failure has led me to a better path. It means I am teetering a red line of pushing my limits to be a better human.

One of my previous chiropractors once told me I am wise. As I’ve aged, I feel older and wiser in the best way possible. Maybe, too wise??

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What is your ideal self like? Envision your ideal self and think about the qualities and characteristics you want to embody.

My ideal self embodies the following: open mindedness, accountability, kindness, curiosity, willingness to learn, empathy, positivity and patience.

I’ve had many experiences and interactions that have allowed these qualities and characteristics to feel organic. One can embody certain qualities and characteristics through conscious effort. Overtime, conscious effort develops into a natural state of being. Some of the qualities and characteristics I listed do feel natural to me, while others I am still working on refining.

I want to be a better human each day and improve upon the current version of myself. Achievable by being cognizant of every humans experience and their perception of the world.

We cross paths with other souls for a reason - to teach us a lesson. We can do better and be better to ourselves and others by working on our own toxic patterns.

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What fears are you ready to face? Challenge yourself to confront your fears and step outside of your comfort zone.

My biggest fear is to love and be loved. Having all versions of me be accepted by another being.

It’s such a raw and vulnerable feeling for me. I’m not sure I’ve ever allowed myself to surrender to that feeling.

I don’t particularly enjoy social events or going to bars, so in terms of meeting a guy in these settings - it’s off the table. I decided to download a dating app recently to put myself out there, which is scary for me. I’m selectively social for many reasons. I’ve had too many failed interactions - partly due to my own fears and insecurities, but I’d like to think because of the other parties as well.

If I’ve learned anything from all my combined failures - love is not a feeling, but intentional actions and effort that should come naturally…Where one feels safe and comfortable to just be.

No matter the outcome - I can always learn from my experiences and understand that each person’s feelings are valid whether reciprocated or not.

Here’s to making attempts to end my party of one era by putting myself out there and doing it scared.

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What are you grateful for? Cultivate a sense of gratitude by focusing on the people, experiences and blessings in your life.

I recently went home for two weeks over the holidays - it was a fulfilling trip in that I prioritized people who have held space for me. The last couple years I wouldn’t be who I am present day had I not felt their support. I was thankful to spend time with all of them - regardless of how long or short our interactions were. I was happy to see them all!

The reality I’m in right now - never did I dream of living in Colorado. I’m grateful everyday for seeing the mtns and being in a naturally healing environment. One of many experiences that has shaped me into who I am.

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What is your inner dialogue like? Reflect on your self-talk and identify any negative or self-critical patterns.

I make an effort to say kind and positive affirmations about myself that I truly believe regardless of what others may think of me.

However, subconsciously I will berate myself if I didn’t do something I expected to do. This occurs more so in the gym setting, which I’m working on being kinder to myself in that space.

In my day to day life I take things as they come. For the most part I will be encouraging towards myself through out the day to get things done and even if I don’t get everything done - reminding myself that it is okay.

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What are your core values? Identify your personal values and beliefs, and think about how you can live in alignment with them.

My personal values and beliefs revolve around being kind to others and slowing down.

When a situation arises I remain calm and ask questions to help me understand what’s going. Many situations are not as serious as people make them out to be. Sure, it’s annoying and sucks when things don’t go as planned, but projecting a negative emotion is not going to change what happened. Make an acknowledgment of what occurred and move on.

I had the opportunity two years ago to put my perspective back into place as to why I do what I do. Many of my day to day aspects don’t need to be complicated and with a bit of patience most things I want to do get done. I value being able to slow down in all areas and appreciate the simplicity of life.

As of now I am living in alignment with my values and beliefs by taking it one day at a time.

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What self-care practices nourish my mind, body, and soul? Reflect on the self-care practices that make you feel renewed, rejuvenated, and refreshed.

1. clean and organized living space

2. face masks!

3. foods/drinks I enjoy

4. sleep/naps/rest

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What do I need to let go of to love myself more fully? Release any negative emotions, grudges or fears that are keeping you from experiencing self-love and acceptance.

External validation.

It’s not something I’ve ever relied on because I haven’t received much of it from family or peers. Although I like to keep to myself and am quite introverted - it’s reassuring to hear validation from others. On some level as a human we crave that sense of belonging and connection.

I’m hardly chosen to be in groups or given genuine positive praise. I hone in on being left out and negative comments because it’s all I’ve ever known. So, with that - I’m going to try to notice all the positive vibes that seem few and far between.

Goal for 2025 - write down one positive from each week

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What brings me joy? Make a list of the things that bring you joy and commit to doing more of them in your daily life.

1. moving my body!

2. the sun & mtns!!

3. spending time with a friend for life!

4. all the little things (daily good morning message to my grandma, cup of coffee, a sweet treat, completing tasks, helping out my future self, etc.)!

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What are your strengths? Identify your unique talents and skills, and think about how you can use them to create a fulfilling life.

My biggest strengths are my empathy and my ability to hold space for others.

I think the life some people live is circumstantial, but you also have the life some people have the choice to live. I hope the life people live are the ones they have chosen by soul. Everyone’s life is beautiful because no two are the same.

I have changed in all realms as each year has gone by. I never thought anything of it until I started reflecting on the environments I chose to leave. People get stuck in their ways and are used to living a robotic life of doing the same thing day in and day out. I think routine is good in some aspects, but humans are not meant to be robots. We are meant to live! People get caught up in what others are doing and what others have. When none of that matters. Do what brings you joy and happiness. Fulfilling these emotions in yourself allows you to be organically kind to others no matter what they look like, what they do or what they have.

I recently applied for a fitness platform ambassador program. I firmly believe every answer I put on the form. The program announced they had an influx of applicants, so they extended the review time. When this update was released I wasn’t sure if I had a shot or not. I found out I was accepted to The Ambassador Crew today! Not sure if I will join the community, but if I do I’m excited to be a part of something I believe in and to empower people to be their best selves. In the end, what matters is how you make a person feel.

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What have you accomplished that you are proud of? Celebrate your achievements, no matter how big or small, and acknowledge the hard work and dedication it took to reach them.

I’m proud of finishing my degree and building a career despite a few speed bumps along the way. Since my freshman year of high school I knew I wanted to go into the healthcare field. My freshman year of college was a wake up call. I didn’t really have to put a lot of thought into high school. After failing anatomy my freshman year and becoming a 4.5 year student I realized I needed to figure out how to study and do well in classes. It was my sophomore year of college where I started to question if I chose the right path. At the time I looked into transferring to a different major, but it would have been a matter of starting from scratch. My nursing degree didn’t crossover well if at all to other majors. I’m not sure if it was sophomore or junior year of college, but I failed pharmacology as well. I would say this was the fault of both parties (teacher and student). I had to find an equivalent course to make up for this, which I ended up doing online with a better experience and outcome. This led me to the infamous path of being a 5th year student. I never gave up, which comes down to my resiliency and having the drive to finish something I set out to do. However, I knew my degree was worthless unless I passed the NCLEX.

After I finished my degree - I started to get my ducks in a row and assumed everything would fall into place after graduation. I started interviewing and applying for jobs - I had a nurse residency program lined up contingent on passing the NCLEX. I ended up failing the NCLEX the first time around, which was very disappointing when I thought I would pass. I think missing out on the job opportunity I had lined up was a blessing because I wouldn’t be who I am today without the career opportunities I have had since then. I failed the NCLEX multiple times before passing - I had an epiphany when I did pass - I had to want it otherwise it wasn’t going to happen. This realization allowed me to create pathways to make connections and retain what I was studying. I couldn’t simply memorize the information and hope to pass the exam.

Upon passing the NCLEX I started to apply for jobs with criteria that I wanted. Mainly no night shift positions because I knew I wouldn’t be able to function with that kind of lifestyle. I got a job in a speciality, which was great as they tend to pay a bit more than a staff position. The big reason I chose the speciality I did is because the company is worldwide and I saw the opportunity for growth within. I’ve been with the company for going on 5 years now - I couldn’t be more satisfied with the opportunities I have had to travel to so many different clinics. It has allowed me to expand and refine my practice as a dialysis nurse and grow as a human. Since starting with the company I have increased my pay by 25%, which is something to me.

I’m proud of the body I’ve built as a byproduct of making movement a priority for the last 15 years. I’ve always dreamt of being able to lift heavier weights since starting CF. I’ve allowed my body to evolve in her own time knowing it takes several years and dedication to build muscle. As a result I’ve become a more confident and empowered version of myself.

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What makes you feel good about yourself? Reflect on the activities, people and experiences that make you feel confident and happy.

I’ve been to many places and met many people. The people that make me feel confident and happy are the ones that hold space for me and treat me as a human, not some anomaly. The ones who are comfortable in their own skin.

I solo traveled for a year (March 2022-April 2023), which was an impactful experience. It allowed me to learn more about myself. People aren’t always aware of what they say, which can be taken the wrong way depending on one’s perspective. However, the more you know about yourself, the less people can bring you down to their level whether intentional or not. When you are in tune with your mind, body, spirit it results in a confident, aligned and happy being.

I’ve always wanted to learn to fish and snowboard. I’m so grateful I crossed paths with an amazing human who taught me these activities. He saw me and believed in me. I’m decent at both of these activities now thanks to him. Currently striving to be better at both and unlock new skills of course. I can be me and do these activities that make me happy and proud of myself.

A big flex for me is being able to do things I couldn’t previously do. I can do what I set my mind to knowing everything comes with time, patience and believing in your own evolution.

[keepingupwithkrispy]

What limiting beliefs are you holding onto? Identify any negative beliefs or self-talk that are holding you back from fully loving and accepting yourself.

The biggest belief I have about myself is that I can’t be who I am and do what I do.

As I’ve mentioned before I’m fairly confident in who I am and I like to see the strengths and goodness in others. I’ll say words matter and what people have said to me has fueled my biggest belief in the worst way.

But, it’s time to take back what’s mine. I can be me and do all the things!