keischreiber

[keischreiber]

So, I made a blog for Kristina: musingsfrommarley.tumblr.com

I do plan to focus on writing and RPing on there when I can. It's literally empty right now, but hopefully, it can help me spark back some writing.

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I’ll show myself out

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I don't think I've shared this before, but a friend made this for me. Which is why... I shall proceed with my...

... agenda.

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So. I am alive.

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I still think about this every day.

I don't think it's too far-fetched to assume that for Reiner, love is conditional. (At first, at least)

And he would need someone who actually loves him with no strings attached to show him that love doesn't come with superficial conditions.

Because for the longest time, Reiner has been running after the most basic form of love that he can get as a human being... which is the acceptance and love of his parent(s). He goes through so much lengths just to prove that he is worth their acceptance, goes through so much pains just to prove that he is someone that they can be proud to call their son. The condition to be loved? Becoming a hero.

He's so enamored with the concept of kindness, that when he feels like someone gives it to him, he falls head over heels for that person. When does he experience this? When Krista tends to his wounds, showing so much concern that she even ripped part of her skirt just to help him. The condition to be loved? Getting hurt.

Reiner has been surrounded by people who hardly cared about him unless he does something worthy of their attention, that he literally cannot see the value in forgiving himself; or in being redeemed. It shows in the last chapters where he was bracing himself for rejection for losing the Armor. He was so ready to accept that he's nothing but a disappointment without it; that his mother wouldn't love him any more... because for so long, having it and becoming an Honorary Marleyan were the requirements that he met for receiving what little love and recognition that he actually got.

And even those, he learned were things that shouldn't have been for him to begin with.

Reiner does so much to prove himself; does so much just to earn what little he can keep.

And I think he needs a person to genuinely just want him. Not for anything like being the Armor, or an honorary Marleyan. Not for being a hero, or a warrior. But just for being himself. True enough, being a soldier and being a warrior, being the Armor has become part of who he is... but sometimes, I can't help but wonder... if he ever thinks him without all of this, is enough. Or does he still need to become more than what he is after all is said and done, just to be accepted and loved by those around him.

I feel like Reiner is the type who will over exert himself to make not just his partner, but those around him happy. He's going to overcompensate because that's how it's been for so long. It's very toxic and draining to him. And he's probably going to panic and be frantic if he accidentally hurts the person that he's chosen to be with. And he does have moments where he's not so gentle; where he gets angry, where he explodes. When it gets too much, he's going to be the one to take all the blame to make it easier for everyone.

He needs healthy relationships that allow him to just be himself where he can see that who he was before, and who he is now... who he becomes in the future is a person that is accepted and cared for. Reiner isn't the type to make excuses for himself when he realized the truth; so he doesn't expect the people around him to patronize him or make excuses for him either. He needs people to be with him in the moment, so that he doesn't slip and forget that he as he is now, is enough and worthy of love.

[keischreiber]

But what if in School Castes, Kristina's best friends are both Pieck and Porco? Pieck could be the manager of the team, and Porco's one of their best players.

I can see feel the chaos now.

I'm just here thinking how... when Kristina became friends with the football team, she actively avoids them after school. Because if they see her walking around, they will drag her to do laps with them.

Back then, they were bullying her for real because of how the school caste hierarchy thing works. But now, they are bullying her into building stamina.

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January feels like such a nice month because I've met an amazing artist, @bobokitty, who I'd like to thank for this wonderful sketch of Reiner and Kristina.

I can't express how happy I am with the result that came out. The emotions and feelings that are portrayed here. I think it's all very wonderful.

I'd like to think that they're love language is arguing, especially because in the kind of society that they live in where the walls are thin on top of it having eyes and ears, softness is a very dangerous thing. At the very least, anger can mask many things. And when that anger is reciprocated in kind, words that sting becomes a reminder of what's important. And sometimes, what's important is bigger than both of them combined... regardless of what lies beneath the surface.

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Been a while since I was around, but I take a break from my regular programming. To do share this.

🔪 WIN A COPY OF ‘A KILLER CHAT! CHRISTMAS’! 🩷

“Merry f’ing Christmas, losers!”

To celebrate this holiday season, we are giving one lucky player a copy of our new festive addition to the Killer Chat! series, "A Killer Chat! Christmas"!

What do I win?

A digital copy of ‘A Killer Chat! Christmas’, which will be released on the 30th of December! More info written about the DLC here! 

What do I do?

FOLLOW our angelrot Twitter/X, Bluesky, Instagram, Tiktok and/or rosesrot’s tumblr.

LIKE and REPOST our social media posts about the competition.

Take a SCREENSHOT of your KC! Definitive Edition Wishlist on steam to help support future KC! content.

SUBMIT all necessary information in the giveaway form!

Deadline: 29th of December at 11:59pm GMT.

We will inform the winner before the game launch on 30th of December - if you haven’t heard by then you are safe to purchase the game!

Other important notes: 

You may enter on any number of social media platforms. Each social media post you complete the requirements for will gain you one individual entry (only one social media is required to enter).

We will be gifting the game to the winner directly through itch.io. You must have the permission of the account holder we are sending to beforehand.

If you have any questions please feel free to DM us on our social accounts or on our discord.

❄️ Happy Holidays everyone! ❄️

Support angelrot games!

Want to support Killer Chat!’s development plans further? Subscribe to me on patreon/kofi for exclusive and early access content or wishlist Killer Chat's Definitive Edition on Steam!

[keischreiber]

YOU KNOW...

... when I said that last year that this:

Would look great as a figure, I wasn't lying.

BUT DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO RELEASE IT THIS YEAR, AFTER THREE OTHER RESIN FIGURES OF HIM?

IM JUST A BASIC ASS SALARY WORKER. HOW DO I AFFORD THIS WITHOUT RUNNING MYSELF TO THE GROUND? It's $648... screw my fucking life.

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Everyone makes poles about who your favourite character.... So I decided to do the opposite..... Let's see who's the most hated character of AOT on Tumblr!!!!

(I'll ignore the most liked characters)

Too bad there are 12 options.... If your most hated character isn't someone from the poll, please tell me through comments... I'm curious 🧐

Also I'll be voting for Yelena bcz she's a stupid bitch uwu... I hate her more than Zeke. I wish I could vote for Zeke too, that hairy bastard xd

[keischreiber]

What are your headcanons for Reiner coping with Bertholdt’s death? Do you think he actually has the time to grieve during the timeskip or is it only post-Rumbling that he allows himself to fully embrace what happened?

Hello! Thanks for the ask, this is my first on this blog 💖

I think he theoretically has the time to grieve Bertholdt during the time skip but I don’t think he actually does. Reiner’s main methods of dealing with emotional stress are repression and distraction. He basically ignores his problems by occupying his mind with something else.

And Reiner is presented with a really compelling distraction when he returns to Marley:

Fighting for his life and reputation in a brand new war is the perfect distraction from what happened on Paradis. Not just the presumed deaths of Bertholdt and Annie but also his immense guilt over the things he did.

I think the fact that he resorts to suicide the moment he’s confronted with the idea of going back to Paradis is a good indication of how little he’s processed his emotions.

That said, he doesn’t react strongly when people mention Bertholdt which tells me that he’s accepted it factually. But in my head, Reiner hasn’t bothered to confront the emotional reality of the loss (among a ton of other things) because he’s got his finish line.

In addition to that, there’s nobody for him to talk to about Bertholdt in Marley. Everyone back home only knew 11 y/o Bert, not the 16 y/o he developed into. Reiner also can’t admit to the fact that the two experienced a big shift in their worldview together (eg- island devils don’t exist.)

So it wouldn’t be until after the Rumbling that he has to contend with a lot of his unresolved trauma, including the grief of losing his best friend. (And potentially his love interest/boyfriend depending on who you ask.)

Best case scenario is his friends/family proactively encourage his healing and don’t let him run away. Worst case scenario, he goes full distraction mode (my HC is workaholism) and won’t admit there’s a problem until he falls apart.

Some talk about my relevant long fic below the cut

My fic is gonna be about the worst case scenario because I want to dig into the emotional aspects of his character. Namely his unresolved grief, childhood emotional trauma, and queerness.

Plus I want to write about how trauma feels, having been on my own healing journey. It’s kind of a vent fic that spun out into a full narrative that I really need to write an outline for lol.

It’s gotten a bit complicated with multiple POV’s/plot threads so I’m taking my time. I watched a video recently talking about the pitfalls of serialized fiction. I’d like to avoid some of the bigger ones, namely putting in scenes/details with no narrative purpose.

Not everything needs to be Chekov’s gun but I’m sure you know how it is 🤭 so an outline is gonna help a lot. But I feel pretty good about the main story beats! I could talk about my fic a lot more but I’ll leave it here.

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HELP THEY'RE ALL SO CUTE.

COURIER, THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING KRISTINA HERE~

Attack on Titan Cheebs

Finally finished these! Thank you so much to the owners for being so patient with me!

In order from top to bottom:

Evelyn Thorburn — @missnobodymadness

Astraea Xiao — @milkteaandanime

Aubrey Raines — @volgeblaft

Taylor "Tay" Schuyler — @wiispywitch

Kristina Qual — @keischreiber

Transparent versions under the cut!

[keischreiber]

I want to ride him. I want to ride all of him so bad.

VR Reiner……

[keischreiber]

I'm just here thinking how... when Kristina became friends with the football team, she actively avoids them after school. Because if they see her walking around, they will drag her to do laps with them.

Back then, they were bullying her for real because of how the school caste hierarchy thing works. But now, they are bullying her into building stamina.

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Touchdown!

I have one more, which I received yesterday from Crook.

I SWEAR. EVERY TIME I FEEL MY SCHOOL CASTE AU BRAINROT SETTLES DOWN, IT DOESNT. And the commission from Crook fuels me. It fuels me so much.

I'll write the story behind this eventually, but the over all gist of this is that Reiner's team was having a particularly difficult football match, which they ended up winning. Kristina who wasn't even supposed to go because of prior engagements ended at the game, giving them a cheer. Something that, for this story, is a pretty big deal for her because 1) She doesn't like sports, 2) She doesn't like crowds like this, and 3) She did decline Reiner's and the team's invitation to watch the game. So, seeing her there and hearing her cheer them on or rather threaten them that if they didn't win she'd beat them up gave them a little morale boost. After all, every little support from everyone does help. It's just funny that it was the first time someone actually (and someone who the entire team saw as their nerdy little mascot) threatened them to win.

To commemorate the win, they take pictures, and Reiner decided to take one with her too, because they are "buddies" and he appreciates her going to the game.

PLEASE APPRECIATE REINER'S WIDE SMILE WITH ME.

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Risks and Reasons

So, I have commissioned Ploams for a comic panel of Kristina and Reiner. The way Ploams captured everything: The scene, the emotions, the feeling, the desperation, and the understanding. WHOOOO. It's great. It's the first time that I've commissioned for a comic, and I am so happy that it was Ploams that did it. 😭😭😭 Y'all should check their instagram which is linked above, and their Patreon. While I love Reistina, in this house we love Reiner x OC pairings. And Logan? Ploams' OC? Logan is fantastic. Go meet him~

But for now, here is the piece that they made for me~

This happens during one of the missions in the 4 year time skip. Where they aren't a thing, but they have had formed a friendship of sorts. But of course, as we know, she does secretly like him. So during one of the times when she had to be the one to pull him out of the Armored, this happens.

SO YES. MAGATH KNOWS HER FEELINGS BECAUSE OF THIS MOMENT. HE KNOWS.

Kristina already respects Magath a lot, and after this happened, that increased a good tenfold. In her mind, she owes him for the rest of her life, and nothing she does or will do, can ever express her gratitude. And then her betrayal arc happens in season 4, lol.

[keischreiber]

If you like Zeke Yeager, you are good in my book.

If you like Floch Forster, you are good in my book.