kenshineto

[kenshineto]

How the fuck am I supposed to meet a fellow lesbian and then convince her to date me

Don't know anything about lesbians, but maybe if you walked around carrying a baseball bat that'd be really bad ass.

[kenshineto]

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk

[kenshineto]

i love what the internet has done to the english language

[kenshineto]

[kenshineto]

the infamous paws of the chicken

[kenshineto]

Jeepers. Blimey. Dang. Gadzooks. Long ago, the euphemisms lived together in harmony. But that all changed when the Tarnation attacked.

[kenshineto]

[kenshineto]

in loving memory of my favorite shirt

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WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE

[kenshineto]

Me when I'm throwing cheese slices at the local cybertuck

[kenshineto]

[kenshineto]

Warning that it is one of the most visible symptoms of serious malnutrition, dietary scientists at Stanford University revealed Monday that humans who consume a proper diet should not be defecating. “In humans who correctly manage their dietary intake, 100 percent of food consumed is absorbed by the body, with any defecation whatsoever being a sign that the diet must be reassessed,” said research leader Angela Nagle, explaining that bodily waste is evidence of an inefficient and improperly functioning digestive system expelling harmful substances and also noting that healthy human beings should not be urinating.

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[kenshineto]

[kenshineto]

[kenshineto]

I have been cursed by the higher poweres with perpetual sneazing. I was just too powerful. I will eat a meal, and then sneaze 20 times. I can never rest peacefully.

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[kenshineto]

This is how they produce the tracks