kestrelknight

[kestrelknight]

From Strong's Book of Designs, A Masterpiece of Modern Ornamental Art 1916

[kestrelknight]

the "feeling like something is wrong with you that you have to hide" background noise is often a result of childhood trauma because an abused or neglected child who doesn't rationalize their mistreatment runs the risk of alienating themselves from what little shelter and care is actually being provided. it's theorized that blaming yourself at that age is a way to survive by coming up with a justification for why you're being abused so you don't blame your caregivers for your own suffering, thereby alienating them to the point that you are fed or sheltered or protected even less than you are currently. believing you may be able to "change" so that you're worthy of love also prevents despair/giving up. it's of utmost importance to the survival of very small children to develop a worldview that keeps them alive, even if it's by totally magical thinking and at the cost of their ability to perceive reality or navigate normal human relationships. the same thing can happen to adults in abusive domestic situations.

anyway once you're out of that situation it's time to get really pissed off

[kestrelknight]

i think too many people operate under the assumption that emotions are some frivilous fantasy of the mind and have no impact on the physical world, which is a cute thought when Humans are an animal that can die from being kinda stressed out

[kestrelknight]

what draws me to decay i think is how utterly it rejects dichotomy. it comes from both within and without; it's the mechanism that forms the clock counting down the days until we die, and it finds its way back to itself inside the body through inertia and opening. rot is a connective force that reaches out to itself through us, and rot is a destructive force that pulls everything apart, literally and metaphorically. to exist is to be marked; to be stained indelibly. to touch is to accumulate that stain and spread it. corruption is the tie that binds and the teeth that fray the cord between them until it breaks.

[kestrelknight]

"We are often defeated. However, no matter how often beaten, we cannot forget the joy we felt during the dispute. The pleasure of stretching our will power. The pleasure of trying out our own strength. The pleasure of seeing a manifestation of real comradely emotions among comrades. The pleasure of seeing the world clearly split. And above all these various pleasures, the pleasure of seeing faintly and gradually our own future and society's future. The pleasure of seeing an improvement in our own personalities." - Osugi Sakae

[kestrelknight]

[kestrelknight]

ETSY UPDATE PART 1: Enamel pins!

Nearly all of my Life cycle of a Star pins are now up on etsy (There's a couple i need to rephoto)

https://maybelsart.etsy.com

I'll be at dokomi again this year but since we're flying this year i'll only have a limited number of pins available (they weight so much cry)

[kestrelknight]

The Celestial Dance

[kestrelknight]

there is a task in not creating a transfeminist politics of disgust. an ability to look at pathways of transfeminisation that are not your own without passing judgement. its harder than that though, to look at pathways that form part of the transmisogynistic image of the transmisogynised you shored yourself up against - the kind of (usually, but not always) male outsider that you built your identity around not being.

[kestrelknight]

morning/evening walk

[kestrelknight]

Medieval Renders

[kestrelknight]

Igname the Boar

[kestrelknight]

the edge of memory

[kestrelknight]

FREEDOM

[kestrelknight]

shepherd

[kestrelknight]

found a way to sculpt ceramic tiles in blender...!

[kestrelknight]

more ceramic tile exploration in blender 🥚🕊️