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The Next Step we Take  (Wedding Blog)

If there is one word that continually comes to my mind when I remember our wedding day, it was “JOY”. There was literally tangible joy in the air that day. 

Two days before our wedding day, I uninstalled all my social media accounts to get rid of any bad news. I want to savor this moment and LET GO and LET GOD do His promises on my wedding day.

Days before our wedding, some guests canceled because of the rising cases of COVID and some other personal reasons, WE LET GO. I told Caz, “Ang mahalaga TAYONG DALAWA”. It was quite challenging to plan a wedding during this time but believe me all the pain and tears are worth it. A friend told us that your wedding day is a covenant with the Lord and the enemy will try to hinder but you should not worry or be in fear. I’m so grateful that we are surrounded by our families and friends that continually prayed with us during this time. All these things are your post-wedding testimonies about God’s goodness and faithfulness. And true enough, it was. 

I was not able to sleep the night before our wedding day, not because of excitement but because I got irritated eyes due to my contact lens. I googled home remedies for red eyes during wee hours. I boiled hot water and pressed on my eyes, only to find out I needed cold water to ease the redness. I even texted my makeup artist at 3AM on how can I get rid of the redness. Luckily, they arrived with Rohto Japan drops, so plus 5 stars for them!

5AM of March 20, I woke up after 2 hours of sleep. I can’t describe the feeling, I felt I need to rush everything so I booked Lalamove to pick up my bouquet, I dragged Caz that he should be in Palazzo as early as 7am, I asked my bridesmaids to take a bath and eat their breakfast as I took a shower, brush my teeth, drink my coffee and proceed to the makeup chair.

Everything went well from hair and make-up to photoshoots. Our suppliers arrived on time. All our wedding essentials were turned over by my sister (maid of honor) to our coordinator. We started our first layout of the photo shoot and after that, they brushed off my make-up and then proceed with robe shots with my bridesmaids and then brush off again, wear my gown, and photoshoot with my family and entourage. It was only 11am and we took a lot of photos already. That was so tiring. If you know me, I’m already satisfied if I got one good picture to post. 

My parents, entourage, and other guests went to Palazzo Verde before me, I was left in the preparation area with my bridal assistant and driver. At that moment, I felt I was the most important person. Everyone is waiting for me. I seized the moment, prayed, and lifted everything to the Lord. Luckily, I felt safe and secure because I’m using our car. We decided to use our first car as my bridal car. First car because I’m declaring for more cars soon. (why not?)

I arrived in Palazzo Verde and the next thing I remembered was when I was behind the doors. I was shaking. The bridal assistant asked me to inhale and exhale. Photographers, videographers, and coordinators are turning their eyes on me. I felt my sweaty hands when one of the coordinators said “queue”, “the bride will enter”, “don’t open the door, the bride is behind”, and all other stuff. I heard “Touch the Sky” was playing inside that means the processional march started.

The door opened and I can only see Caz. Everyone seemed to be blurry. When I was half the aisle I saw Daddy and took his hands and then we walked to Caz and his parents. That was one of the most unforgettable moments during our ceremony because we exchanged our “I DO’s” with our parents beside us. I felt relieved when I was able to hold Caz because I knew I can share all my emotions with him.

The whole wedding ceremony was so emotional. I saw a lot of our guests crying from the raw photos that our photographer sent us. When I speak I felt that my tears will fall down but I was able to control them. I only realized that while watching our SDE. I was so happy, I meant beyond happiness. Finally, I was able to marry the love of my life!

We proceeded to our postnup pictorial and then we entered our reception area with a BANG because we chose BANG BANG BANG (TikTok version) as our entrance song. HAHAHA. The reception went on and contrary to our wedding ceremony, the whole wedding reception was filled with laughter and fun. I saw the faces of our guests when I was sitting in front. I even took a video of them and I was so delighted that they’re all laughing out loud. Our entourage did an extra effort on entertaining us. They danced, sang, and amazed us with their speeches. A little emotional when Mama spoke via video call. Our coordinator and band even chatted to us that they cried during my Mom’s speech. The reception ended with our guests shouting “Mabuhay ang Bagong Kasal!”

We rode in our bridal car and drove back to our preparation area. At that moment, I opened the window and shouted on the public road, “THANK YOU LORD!!” that’s the only word I could utter. We arrived in the preparation area and have our mini after the party with my cousins. We both slept early before them because we’re so exhausted. (Nothing happened though) HAHAHAHA

The day after, I actually can’t remember the small details of our wedding but we received a lot of compliments from our guests that our wedding was so beautiful, blissful, heartfelt, elegant and they felt so blessed. I told them, “To God be the Glory and all the Honor”. One thing I learned during preparation and the actual wedding was “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. 

It was really tough to plan a wedding at this time. I shed so many tears because of all the uncertainty of the current situation but God is so good. We didn’t have much problem during our wedding preparation but a pandemic happened and it cost us a lot of stress, pain, and worry. I even walk down the aisle without my mom beside me because of the lockdown in Israel, one of my bridesmaids tested positive and some of our important guests were not able to make it because of travel restrictions but we surrendered everything to the Lord. I hold on to His promises that I will get married on March 20, 2021, and it happened.

The day after our wedding there is a new regulation that wedding events can only be held with a maximum of 10 pax attending and days after that, NCR went to ECQ again. Guests and friends are chatting us, “Ang swerte niyo”, “buti nairaos na ang kasal niyo”, “sobrang favored” and all we can say was “Ang bait ni Lord”.

Married life is a lifelong process and I’m so excited to walk along with you!

PS: I’m publishing this now before 2021 ends, It's been a long time since this post was sitting on my draft. 

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All the SINGLE ladies! Now, put your hands up!

This isn't what you called the "LAST HURRAH" because I will never get tired of meeting and catching up with all of them kahit may dala na kong stroller at feeding bottle soon. HAHAHAHA

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Feb 27  - Bridal Shower with college best friends

Actually, wala naman sana ko hint sa bridal shower na to except nung sabay sabay sila nagchat saken the day before the bridal shower. HAHAHA.

Sobrang saya from 6pm to 3am. Ung tipong pagkagising mo sa umaga wala ka na boses at sabay sabay kayong kakabahan kasi akala mo may COVID ka na. HAHAHA. At least may pang amoy at panlasa pa. 😂Sobrang effort from cake, food, games, decor at gifts. Personal fave ko ung “dress the bride” game. 👰🏻

 I don’t have much close friends in college but I made sure that this bunch of friends are forever.

March 13 -  Bridal Shower with HS best friends

Janna and Tan lang ang natira sa pinaka sobrang close friend ko since High School, siguro kasi pare parehas kaming tatlo ng humour, likes and dislikes. At sabi nga ni Janna, kailangan magbawas at iwan lang ang mga totoong kaibigan. HAHAHA. Planado na namin tong bridal shower na to mula pa January. Ang aga nila sinabi na isave ko na ung date na to kasi for sure magiging busy na ako kaya hindi na to surprise, sabi ko nga wag na sila mag decorate and all, catch up na lang but it turns out na ito ung pinaka unexpected na gabi ng lahat ng bridal shower. Dumating kasi ung isa naming friend na ang daming experience sa lahat na bagay (if you know what I mean) at sobra dami niyang payo and tips and all. HAHAHA. Ang buong gabi ay napuno ng “yuck!!” “totoo ba?” “pwede ba un?” “seryoso?”. HAHAHA

March 14 - Online Bridal Shower with Victory Group

Super naiyak ako nung nagmessage sila kasi grabe ung stress ko that time kasi akala ko maglockdown na sa Manila. Nung sinend saken to ni Juliet sobrang nalift ung spirit ko. Sobrang nakakamiss kasi 1 year na kaming hindi nakakapag VG. Iba pa din ung personal meetups than virtual. I’m grateful to be called “ate” by them, kahit mas matanda ako sa kanila, sobrang dami kong natututunan sa kanila. Grabe ung faith nila kay Lord. Also, they have been my prayer partners mula engagement until wedding day. Di ko maatach ung video. 😅

March 19 - Bridal shower with fam and entourage ++ friends

My Maid of Honor made an extra effort of surprising me. She messaged all of my bridesmaids, some friends and fam to plan this day. Alam ko naman na alam na niya na medyo may hint na ko sa surprise niya pero grabe ang galing ng poker face with matching pagsusungit every day. HAHAHA. At super nagulat ako na sa prep area ung bridal shower. Akala ko talaga sa Shakey’s. Muntik na ko hindi pumunta kasi nga ayaw ko na gumala before the wedding HAHAHA Sobrang saya ng araw na to lalo na ung mga panalong games like What’s inside the box with all the effort ng “sister in law” (nuks sister in law) Nagdala ng daga, uuod, sago at kung ano ano pa from Rizal to Muntinlupa. This was also the night before the big day so natulungan pa nila ko mag last minute preps para sa umaga. Literal na “maid” HAHAHA. I was happy that I chose them to be part of my wedding.

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Actually, nakatunog na ako sa lahat ng bridal shower na ito pero na surprise ako ng bongga kung paano nila inexecute HAHAHA. It was fun celebrating with this ladies before officially mag walk down the aisle. 😉

We all have different kinds of happiness depending on the people we are with. Iba ung saya pag kasama ang kaibigan at pamilya pero at the end of the day, that happiness is priceless.

I love you all!  💚 

- Mrs. C

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Third Charm

Love in 3 seasons

It’s a 12 long years love story of two opposite persons with different dreams. They first met when they are still young, carefree and innocent. The time when you thought all things are easy that way. The era that will dictate what your future lies ahead. They were separated due to life instances and then eventually met again in their mid 20’s with full of dreams and aspirations in life. The season when you need to achieve and prove something in your career and you want to experience a broader world and become freer. When everyone else strive hard to achieve the peak of their success and this season led them to grow apart. They separated for the second time and their destiny met again in their 30’s. Both poignant and vulnerable. They achieve something but at the same time lose everything. From the hot summer nights to cold winter breeze. From the sweetness of their childhood up to the bitterness of their adultness. Seasons change like that. And that’s how I found this drama really captivating and life changing.

I quiet emotional when I watch this  and even as I write this blog.  Maybe because I can relate to their hardship as a couple. Not because my love story was exactly just like them but because I was thinking how our love change in a long span of time and how love grows and withers at the same time. This show for me is engaging since I’m fan of appreciating a personal journey towards growth and maturity, complete with mistakes, consequences and the growing pains that comes with it.

I remember one scene when Ri-won said “Even the steel parking lot turns into a fancy office when it meets a new owner, down the road it can turn into a restaurant or a multiplex building when it meets another new owner, Why on earth do you want to be with me until death do us part?”. There are many puzzling things in life. People change, everyone’s sick in their own way. We all live with our own illnesses. We all have our demons living inside of us. I always believe in this since sometimes I treated people differently. I can be nice to some and act rude at the same time. That’s how change penetrate into this show.

They say memories are frightening, yes, it’s true. Sometimes when you remember how you are suppose to be a years back, their are regrets, a lot of “what ifs?” and memories came back and hunt you once again. But believe me, you need to bear with it because that’s how life should be.

This show isn’t about a typical love story that is always meant to be; its about living life through its ups and downs. We meet those whom we meet based on such inconceivable probabilities. The time when you thought you finally get over of something, in those random days, you met again. But of course, differently and boldly.

I found a gem! This may not be your talk about kdrama but it works for me.

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You Crash Landed into my World

“Two different worlds fall in love”. This phrase often talks about a rich guy meets this poor girl or vice versa who fought against all odds to prove their love - a stereotyped plot line in most dramas or movies. But as soon as laid my eyes in “Crash Landing on You” it gave me a different taste of an adorable you-and-me-against-our-separated-nations story.

As I started to binge in Crash Landing on you mid of December 2019, I was hooked in the first 20 minutes of the series. A story of a heiress who crash landed in North Korea and met an elite soldier and then eventually fall in love. During those 16 episodes I was wondering how could they end up together happily without causing political issues between North and South Korea because to be honest that issue of separated nation is not for me to worry. I mean, that separation of state started years and years ago and the writers cannot cross the line in ending the series happily just because they needed to.

I want to extract my thoughts on how this drama moved into me. One line in the drama said, “Sometimes the wrong train takes you to the right station.” Yes it’s true! But sometimes that wrong train will take you again to the wrong train and so it goes. It simply says that we should not settle in our dreadful situation and we should keep moving forward knowing that nothing last forever even that unwelcome situation. That you must enjoy your season because maybe you will not be able to return in that moment again.

The value of integrity despite the unfavourable circumstances, how you strengthen up your moral and how do you value brotherhood. That’s some of the lessons that this drama taught me. I simply love how Captain Ri protected Seri until the end and his idea of waiting and praying desperately that one day, they will be able to meet again.

The whole cast showed a complete lovable role that would captivate your heart in their simple acts. Their innocence and upright personalities made me stick to the whole drama even without the appearance of the main acts. It made me realise that even without the lavish and modern living outside North, the value of simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

I tweeted this after finishing the series “Their is fun and excitement in waiting” I literally said this for the drama itself and how I described myself as I watched the whole series. It made me love the weekends more because of them. So it goes to the series, how Seri and Captain Ri waited for their love story to unfold.

I love how the series ended and how realistic it was. For me, I couldn’t ask for more.

"I got on the wrong train, and that very train brought me here. It brought me to the place I've yearned to come every morning and night. It brought me to my destination."

- Captain Ri

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the only way to rip anything up from now on…

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Put a Ring on it

I was thinking if I should post this but I really wanted to remember this day and I want to look forward into reading this post many years from now. So help me do so.

Every girls dream about this perfect moment. The moment your partner get down on one knee to ask your hand in marriage.

I was in a relationship and dated Caz for 9 long years since college. We’re already planning to get married. He kind a keep me hanging on for a little bit, because he wanted to maintain some element of surprise. So, I always ask him any time of the day. “Will you marry me?” HAHAHA. Don’t get me wrong but sometimes I do this to make fun of him but deep inside I sincerely want to marry him. I was 100% sure that I want to spend the rest of life with him. But of course, he will always say, “YES” but not now. 

We decided to go to Korea autumn of 2019 with our friends. We booked our airline ticket and accommodation. All of us are excited and ready to explore Korea. My kdrama heart made me do so. 

We’re all waiting for September for us to file our visas but unfortunately applying for Korean visa processing time bubbled up. From 5 days to 30 days. We need to rush and apply as soon as possible but Caz was not able to file just in time for our flight because of work related issues. Additionally, he resigned to his previous work 3 months before our trip so things get messier for him. He was also asked to go on a short business trip around 3rd week of September that means he cannot file his visa with us. We need to wait as soon as his business trip is over. He came back from HK and we immediately plan to go to any Korean agency to apply for his visa but his Certificate of Employment was not yet release on that day so we need to wait until Saturday for him to hand over his requirements to the agency. Saturday came, but all agencies we went through did not accept his application because they say, they cannot guarantee to release his passport in time for our flight due to increase of applicant and the embassy announced longer processing days. I was really sad that time, I even cried because I was thinking, I really wanted to go to Korea with him and we prayed for this trip as this year started. So, we must go.

We talked and we decided to still pass his application and let go of our October 13 flight. Our friends also rebooked their flights with us because we really wanted to go to Korea together. We rebooked our flight from October 13 to October 19. We decided to do this so that Caz will be able to catch up in the middle of our trip in Korea. 

As planned, we flew to Korea and we’re expecting that Caz will be there by Friday. But things got worst and his visa was not release on the scheduled date. We’re on our way to Seoul from Busan and as fast as the KTX my tears overflow and I can’t held back my emotions. I was thinking “How can I still enjoy this trip without him?” With all the positivity he has, he said to me, “Bring me back good and happy memories, malulungkot ako pag hindi ka nag enjoy diyan”. 

Before I went to bed that day, I cried hard until I fell asleep. The next day, we’re on our way to transfer to bigger hotel room, I received a chat that his visa application result is out and it was DENIED. I felt relieved somewhat because of all the stress I’ve been through in applying for his visa ended. Even if his visa was approved it was too late and the airfare is pretty much expensive that time. (But later on, he revealed to me that even if it was just only one day he will still go because of his proposal plans) The practical side of me convinced myself that we saved a big amount of money and also we can still go back to Korea anytime soon and Korea will not leave Korea naman. But I still cried for the last time before that day ends. And I promised myself, that I need to enjoy Korea as much as I can.

Our last major days in Korea was super tiring but full of fun. When I saw the Garden of the Morning Calm muntik nanaman ako maiyak because I was thinking, “Sana nandito si Caz”. But I can’t do anything anymore so I just moved on. 

October 28 came, and it was our last day in Korea before our early flight the next day. This day was super super as in major nakakapagod. We need to carry our own luggages in the subway stations to be able to go to the airport. We did not know that it was rush hour and it has no difference in the Philippines rush hours too. Subway stations were so busy and many people came in and out of the stations. I was really tired and I wanted to cry because I can’t carry my luggage and I could not ask my friends to carry it for me because all of us has its own luggages plus the carry on backpacks. We went down to Hongik University Station and I don’t want to talk anymore. Nakatulala nalang ako habang hawak ko maleta ko. I was thinking when I return back to Korea soon I will bring a lot of money so that I will just hire a cab to the airport.

10-29-2019, we landed at NAIA and as expected Caz will pick me up. I contacted him as soon as my signal bar showed up. I texted him, “Nag land na kami”. He immediately answered and said that “Babe, sobrang traffic papasok ng NAIA, sa Resorts World ako nagpark. Umakyat ka nalang dito. Sorry”. He instructed me on how to get their. I immediately tell him “Ano?! paglalakarin mo pa ko sa Resorts World, ang layo layo naman. Pagod na pagod na ko sa Korea”. I was really mad because I was really exhausted and I need to go to the office that day. But my best actress friend supported Caz claimed that it was really traffic downstairs because her Kuya will also fetch her up and he cannot enter NAIA too. My friend asked her Kuya to also park in Resorts World to avoid the traffic. In the end, we all went up and find Runway Manila which is the bridge connection of Resorts World and NAIA.

I was dragging myself up in Runway Manila. You don’t know how irritated I was during those moments and when I saw that their was no traffic in NAIA bays. I shouted “Wala naman traffic e!!”. I calm down and convinced myself that I should be grateful that someone will fetch me and I don’t need to ride subway or hire a taxi on my way home. It was hard to find that Runway Manila but eventually we did. 

Tin: Malapit na kami. Nasan ka?

Caz: Nasa dulo ako ng Runway. Wag mo na ibaba phone mo. 

Tin: Bakit? (I saw him holding a bouquet of flowers from a far) (I was thinking he missed me a lot that’s why may pa bouquet)

Caz: Naalala mo ba ung airport scene ni Clark at Leah?

Tin: (Hints about the proposal scene) Seryoso ka ba? 

Caz: Mmmmm

Tin: Dapat ba sa Korea to?

Caz: Oo

Tin: (cries a lot) Caz, dapat sa Korea to. Huhuhuhu

And the habulan scene went on. HAHAHA. I was surprised, nervous, shy and excited that’s why its hard for me to come closer to him. I don’t know what to do so I walk and run and cover my face throughout the proposal. It’s so funny, you better watch our proposal video. 

He gets down on one knee and ask me to marry him. I’ve been waited for this moment to come and surely I answered “Yes of course, I will marry you” plus “Pano mo nalaman size ko?” and sealed the proposal with tight hugs. He even whispered, “Kiss?” But my friends are with us so I said. “No”. HAHAHA

Korea was a perfect place for proposal. Can you imagine how perfect it was when you’re wearing those long trench coats under those autumn trees and the cold weather is hugging you then someone would kneel and ask him to marry you? It was so perfect and unexceptional to ask the love of your life to marry you but it was different for us and life is really full of surprises. For many people, proposals are supposed to be the kind of romance you've only experienced while reading fairytales. Who would have thought that perfect moments are not under those circumstances. The moment you least expect, the moment you barely dream about; something great will happen. 

I did not imagine my wedding proposal will happen when I’m with my bare face, messy hair, vicious eyes and tired body. Wearing trench coat in a hot city and carrying my luggage irritably. But all things went on perfectly. More beautiful than any other cities in these world. His love is perfect that made that moment priceless.

On the other side, we both promised ourselves to go back to Korea with a bang. 😍

10.29.2019

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You’re my only Queen

I recently finished watching the word of mouth in the kdrama world, “Moon lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo”. A story of a 21st-century woman who transported back to Goryeo Dynasty. To be honest, I am not a fan of historical dramas. I only watched Hwarang before because of Park Seo Joon and Park Hyung Sik. Well I guess, that series is a good shot for my first historical drama. For me, learning Korea’s culture in their ancient times is not necessary for me and also I hate the concept of people fighting to get the throne. Historical dramas usually focuses on people fighting to seat on that most powerful chair in the world. I was dragged to download and finally watched Scarlet Heart Ryeo because of IU who is currently leading the ongoing series “Hotel Del Luna”. People gets excited when Lee Joon gi made an appearance in Hotel Del Luna as an exorcist. People on social media kept on asking and petitioning for Scarlet Heart Season 2 for almost 3 years now. I don’t understand why, so I decided to finally give the Moon lovers a chance. I wasn’t expecting a happy ending for this drama since everyone is mourning about this. But down to its last episodes, its true that no matter how much you condition yourself that “This will not give me a happy ending”, deep inside my heart I was shouting “Give me happy ending, jebal”. I was hooked, it wasn’t just an ordinary drama wherein the leads are fighting over the throne. It was a drama who changed their character in a way you could not imagine. How certain person suddenly change his heart over years. How drastic situation shaped you and how you manage to live in the world that is uncertain. That life is fleeting, and we should spend it the way we wanted it to be. This drama teaches us about the reality of life; not everything will end up as we wanted, we cannot own the both sides of the world, we can get A but we might lose B. That not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry. 

Love in all its form, a love that is selfless, an unrequited love, a love that you only realize in the end, a love that is sacrificial, a love that is coward, and that the opposite of love is not always hate but is leaving the other person behind. For me, is wasn’t just a series of fighting over that throne but a story of pure friendship and how love would fail you in the end. How your family can crush you up and pick you up. That sometimes everything comes with an inherent sacrifice. I highly recommend this series and now I can finally say, I’m petitioning for Season 2. “You are my only queen” - Wang Soo

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Daddy’s Graduation message to Ja. Sayang di ko naituloy ung video. Paiyak na din kasi me. Hahaha!

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“Ate, di na ko pumapasok sa school, di ko masabi kina mama kasi gusto na niya umuwi, ikaw nalang magsabi para saken” I was gritting my teeth out of anger because I was really disappointed and mad but I want to cheer you up and I said, “Lets Go 2019!”, You don’t need to rush and embrace those hard times. I even told you “Kailangan mo makatapos ng pagaaral, kasi walang ibang makakatulong sayo kundi sarili mo”. And fast forward to 2019, finally, we’re here. God really made precious moments on his perfect timing! I’m so proud of you. Let’s start the construction and interior soon. Thank you Lord! I prayed and fasted for this moment for almost 2 years now. Finally, board exam mo na pinagfafast ko. I love you! ❤️

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“Ibigay mo na nga saken size ng daliri mo.”

7/1/2019

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Great Faith

I felt like I was distant from God as this year started, maybe because as soon as I opened my eyes I chose to scroll down on my social media accounts rather than pray deep in my heart. I was preoccupied with the things around me, may it be regarding busy schedule, family, friends and things I prioritised more.

It was so heartbreaking that sometimes I was dragged away from God. It was so scary when your future is uncertain. We can all agree that not knowing where we'll be in a month, a year, or ten years from now is really frustrating. But still, God did not leave me behind whether or not I chose Him.

2018, is a tough year for me, but God still gives His will before the year ends and as I enter 2019, overflowing blessings came along. I’m speechless, I’m in awe. I’m not saying that if nothing good happens in your life right now God is not moving but I know He is in the process. Always believe that His timing is perfect. Cliché but it’s true.

As I enter this mid year of 2019, I want to pour my heart out, how God moved into my life. I don’t deserve this but still He gives it to me, unceasingly. I am thankful of countless blessings that He supplied. Almost all my written faith goals happened early this year. I cried.

Whether you’re in that tough situation right now, always believe that “You’re not meant to stay their forever”. You need to keep moving forward because God didn’t promise a life like that for you. Nothing is too petty for God to hear. He is the Lord of everything, big and small.

Put your faith on Jesus. His love is beautiful and there’s nothing more beautiful than it. There is wisdom in waiting. Sometimes, you can hear more of God’s heart in waiting. I guess waiting is a way of God, saying “Hold on to me”. Even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment, know that God is always by your side. Feeling distant from Him is a struggle like all others but with prayer and perseverance, we can.

“Great faith understands that our breakthrough comes when we go to Jesus on His terms—not ours.”

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I should Go?

“Some men may find riches or fame important in life, but I think that for a man to become the manliest is to love your woman until the end, without changing.” — Song Joong Ki, Esquire September 2018

Like life in general, some good things are bound to come to an end. June 27, 2019 when internet broke down with the headline “Song Joong Ki files for divorce from Song Hye Kyo”.

Out of the millions fans worldwide, I’m one of those who felt heart broken about this divorce. I started to love Kdrama last year and for me, watching kdrama makes my heart flutter, suffer and happier. I’m a fan of “And they live happily ever after.” My eagerness to go to Korea went up higher when I started watching kdrama. I became interested with their culture, race and lifestyle and how they make badass stories in kdrama. Hands down!

Over my 40 list, my favorite kdrama was Descendants of the Sun where SJK and SHK started to paired up. I love this drama - like a lot. It’s a story of a soldier and a doctor.  A story on how they managed to find love in all odds. I put my whole heart in watching this drama and I find myself smiling and crying in those 16 episodes. I also felt downhearted when the series ended. How I wish they could add 100 more episodes to feed my kdrama heart.

I did not only commit myself to the drama itself, but I started to enter SJK and SHK private lives. How they ended up dating and how they decided to get married in a short period of time. How Song Joong Ki dropped an open letter to his fans that he will marry Song Hye Kyo without even announcing that both of them are dating in the first place, it says “I care about my popularity so I decided not to get married not until Song Hye Kyo came into my life and changed everything”. I almost watched all the entries in Youtube where you can find #songsongcouple, Song Joong Ki, Song Hye Ko, DOTS updates. I was like “Nasan ako ng mga panahon na ‘to?

I began to watched some of the dramas that both of them are into. I was like “Forever do exist”. Marrying someone you just met, for me “It’s True Love”. Me being in a long time relationship makes me think “Pwede pala un, agad agad pakasal?” Well, I know all of us has its own love story to make.

Updates in their married life was not that visible in media or social media. But I still support them. I was so grateful that Song Hye Kyo posted a photo of her in their honeymoon. I can see the happiness and contentment in her eyes. I guess in that very moment, Love was not only in kdrama but also in real life. I was sincerely happy for both of them.

Thursday morning, when we’re driving to the office. I felt  that I miss the #songsongcouple and I don’t know why. I even recited all the episode ender of DOTS and I also felt very excited when one my friend that I always nag to watch DOTS finally clicked episode 1. I was like I can drop my ongoing series just to rewatch Dots over and over again for the 10th time. Seriously, 10th time.

Also, during that moment of reminiscing, I received this sad news that “Song Joong Ki filed a divorce” and I stopped for a moment. I was waiting for “Fake News” but it did not happened. And their reason - DIFFERENCES. As the sky in Metro Manila started to be gloomy. My whole heart started to feel sad and empty. I know I’m overreacting but I guess thats the reality and saddest part of my fangirling life. DOTS has been of the reason why I love KDRAMA so so so much. You can never get that away from me. When you say KDRAMA, I will always say “Watched DOTS”.

As I always say to my fangirling friends, “Differences should be work out and not break out”. Love is really a choice and you just need to step up and put your faith in love. But I guess, #songsongcouple think the other way around. But who am I to judge? Who am I to insist them to be together? I don’t even know their struggles in marriage, their day to day life with each other and maybe on how they tried to work out their differences but ended up nothing. That’s the reality of being a fangirl - wala ka magagawa. What saddened me the most was the idea that Song Joong Ki did not only filed a divorce with Song Hye Ko but he also filed a divorce in all the fans of DOTS worldwide. He broke my heart at sobrang sakit.

I held back my tears through out the day because I know people might think that I’m crazy. Crying over something that’s not even worth my tears. But when we’re travelling back home and when I saw Caz. I couldn’t help but to release all the pain I felt the whole day. I felt like I needed to release so that I can finally move on. Nakakatawa to pero para talaga kong tanga.

I will always remember #songsong as the couple who made me believe that love is a decision. That love is a choice and that love is a unending series of making each other the better version of ourselves. It’s just sad that they were not able to stand up on their promises 2 years ago. I will always remember the time when I felt the peak of my happiness in watching them. (OMG, naiiyak nanaman ako, wae wae wae?!!). I hope this is the best for you two. I will still support you individually. May your career soar higher and may you still find love. (not to so soon, jebal?)

I hope I will still find a reason to watch DOTS with the same feels Iike before. By then, I’ll be the happiest.

[kfetalvero-blog]

Happy International Women’s Day, Tumblr!

This International Women’s Day, let’s take some time to celebrate and appreciate all women, with a particularly strong focus on those who may face more social and political hurdles than others. To our friends who are women of color, trans, immigrants, refugees, women with disabilities, all sexualities—we see you, and we’re grateful you’re here.

To see what the rest of the community is saying about International Women’s Day, head over to the search results. It’s full of beautiful art, some great GIFs, and wonderful information.

[kfetalvero-blog]

I have no words, In-sung! Too sexy to handle! 🙈

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[kfetalvero-blog]

Gwaen cha na?

If someone talks to you, listen. If someone seems to be too happy or too sad, ask them repeatedly and listen.

Mental disorder is one of the unacceptable illness in this digital world where everyone thinks that you are not enough, that you are a failure and you don’t have the things that others possess.

One thing that this drama taught me was the idea of “LOVE” the other way around. How could you love someone that might hurt you while you were sleeping or while drinking your coffee in the broad daylight. In the normal sense, the idea of love is to give peace but how could peace intervene if you don’t know when will be the next panic attack?

I believe that everyone has its own struggles. We can’t relate to their pain and it’s the hardest thing. What’s hard for you might be easy for me or what’s bearable for you might be intolerable for me. The truth is, no person can fix another, it must be their own will.

Knowing that they are not alone is a significant benefit for a person with mental illness. Not alone in their daily living, their ups and downs, their twist and turns, their highest and lowest and their triggers. Help them breath HOPE in their desperate moments.

When they are struggling they aren’t monsters and when they are finally healed, they aren’t a new person. They’re the same person you have always loved from the start. They need to see that person in us.  “We” can surpass this, “We can make the most out of this, “We” are all in this together. Make them feel that you both belong to a same team and you need to win that battle together.

I really love the series “It’s Okay, That’s Love” 괜찮아, 사랑이야. It taught me compassion and empathy more than I can imagine. Love that is hard to give but needs to be given. No explanation, simply LOVE.

The other way that this series strike me, was that I can relate to the relationship that the main characters act on. Short but sweet conversations are also my style. If I said YES, it simply means YES, and NO simply means NO. I don’t want a long nonsense conversation. If we fight about petty things but need to reconcile in the end, we don’t need to fight in the first place. Maybe that’s the reason why me and my boyfriend understand each other most of the time. We’re too lazy to fight a lot and to give “tight hugs after a fight”. Hug is enough, cut the fight. Good company is hard to find but I guess, I found mine.

“Those of you who feels lonely, and think that you’re alone, know that someone out there is praying 24 hours, just for you. You’ve never been alone, not even one single moment”

- Jang Jae Yeol, It’s Okay, That’s Love

In the end, I want to commend this series. You gave a ray of hope to those who needed it the most. 

Goodnight, Kristine

[kfetalvero-blog]

Timing

Life is a game, and the biggest game is life.

"One in a lifetime” when you missed it, you will never catch it back.

This idea startled me when someone lose the one he deeply love because of the taught “Not yet the perfect timing”

“I love you”, three words that would suppose to change his life. At the beginning, Bong Soon was pretty obvious that she likes Guk Doo. In return, Guk Doo showed friendship rather than romantic love. But hey! If you love someone, shout it out or else you will regret it for the rest our your life.

Silence is not a key in loving someone. Show it, give it and act on it. That’s the only way to own her.

Nevertheless, I somewhat understand you, melancholic but maybe because thats the only way to keep and protect her. You never leave her side in times of disaster. You even fought harder to chase the culprit to make her neighborhood safe. You showed love in your own little way.

Now, that you finally realized your feelings, she’s gone. If you love someone, be brave enough to tell them, otherwise, be brave enough to watch them loved by someone else. Your time is now over, set her free. I hope that you will never lose track on your next love again.

[kfetalvero-blog]

👑

“The one who wears the crown, bears the crown."

As we grow older responsibilities come rushing back to us. Sometimes we question ourselves, “Am I worthy of this?” “How far will I go?” You keep pushing yourself to your very best and prove that you’re worthy of this crown -  a crown that is hard to bear.

You can’t blame anyone, it was your decision and fate since the beginning. But as you learned the importance of LIFE. You chose to let go of this crown. You appreciate the value of wearing nothing but LOVE in you heart.