khh-writings

[khh-writings]

News

(I added this gif because it’s so cute, omg)

OMG, I’ve just seen that I have 2k followers already. I can’t believe it. I love you all. Thank you so much. <3

Also, if there’s anyone from Spain here, I’d like to do so promotion! So, my dream became a reality and in November 2019 I got my first book published. It’s a fantasy young novel, so if you are into that kind of literature, I would really appreciate it if you check it out! It’s called Guardiana: Traición, by yours truly: Xerezade Ansedes.

I focused on Spanish people because I think it’s only available in Amazon Spain, but do tell me if you are able to get it or anything from somewhere else!

Again, thank you so much. Love you. Stay strong and safe. <3

[khh-writings]

Company rules

"Okay, it's settled. See you all tonight." As soon as he finished speaking, he got up and left the room. You couldn't help but follow him with your eyes. Sighing, you picked up your things (your iPad, your planner and your purse) and left the room after saying goodbye to your co-workers. Lee Sung Hwa always looked so serious when working. However, you knew he wasn't like that, not at all. He was a funny, sweet guy you ended working with. One thing was for sure: he was the popular type. In high school, even at the company, he seemed to magnetically appeal to everyone near him. You were in the same class for some years, but you weren't really close. He was definitely the type of guy you rejected at that time. It was funny, whenever you thought about it: everything you liked about him now was what made you hate him, being so rebellious back then. He was never bad, he was just... the type of guy everyone liked. The handsome one, the perfect one. You couldn't be more surprised when you got the job of your dreams, after much time of hard work, and found out that you would be working side by side with no other than him. Well, you were more surprised, indeed, when he greeted you so friendly, calling you by your name and speaking about the old times. You hadn't expected him to remember you. Years went by and somehow you managed to be in that position, and so he had managed as well. Even though it wasn't that surprising: everyone loved him. The CEO, executives, employees... All of them were fond of Lee Sung Hwa. You couldn't complain about that. ----------- Almost everyone was already there when you arrived at the restaurant. The CEO herself had booked the most amazing place for the company dinner. Everyone was there, even him. He raised his head as you entered the room. His smile was as stunning as always. You doubted for a moment, not knowing where to sit. The chair next to him was empty. It was not as if you were avoiding him, you had a good relationship and even met outside work sometimes with other co-workers, but you always tried not to let your feelings control you. You smiled politely at him as you walked to the next table where your best friends in the company were sitting. "I think company events are nice, but we don't really have much opportunity to be close to our colleagues, with that company rule. Don't you think, Y/n? Y/n? Earth calling Y/n, do you copy?" "Hmm? Sorry, I got distracted," you answered to Amanda, who was sitting next to you. "All you care about is flirting," said Leah. The others laughed, including yourself. Hanging out with them was fun, and you were really grateful for having them as your colleagues and friends. "Well, I can't say I would mind flirting with Sung Hwa," Amanda assured, lowering her voice so no one but them could hear her. "Come on, he's totally out of your league," you answered, jokingly. Amanda pouted and gave you a nudge. You smiled as you looked at his back and his black hair, not that far from you. He seemed to be enjoying himself. ------ A couple of hours later, no one was that sober anymore. People were dancing to the music coming out of the speakers, maybe a bit louder than you'd like. You were sipping a cold, colourful drink with your back against the bar. "Having fun?" Sung Hwa, who had been talking cheerfully with some guys from the finance department, had come closer to you. You nodded as you took another sip from your drink, feeling a bit dizzy as you kept drinking. "And you? Are you having fun?" You asked. "Yes, quite a lot," he got closer and rested his arm on the bar. "Well, you see, I'm curious. Out of whose league am I, exactly?" Your arms started to shake, almost causing you to spill your drink. "I'm not supposed to tell you." It was a weird feeling, talking to him so casually. You barely talked to each other, just the two of you, out of the office. It felt good, though. You smiled. "It doesn't matter, anyway. You know? We've known each other for a while now... Listen, I've been thinking a lot lately and I just needed to tell you. "Tell me what?" "That I like you." "What?" This time you did spill your drink. Your dress got some wet spots, but the worst part was the bar, which ended completely soaked. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry," you told the barman as he came holding a wipe in his hand. "Don't worry, I'll clean this up." You moved away from the bar, leaving your now empty drink on it. Instinctively, you crossed your arms against your chest, as if they were going to protect you from what was happening. "You are kidding, aren't you?" "I think I've never been more serious." "Then, why? Why would you tell me?" You started to feel somewhat angry. "I... You don't need to say or do anything," was Sung Hwa stuttering? You were shocked. It was so improper of him. "I just needed you to know." Okay, you were completely angry. So he needed to tell you? Why the hell now? "You needed me to know? What the hell is that? You needed me to share the burden, isn't it? Or worse, you wanted to get rid of your secret and just make me responsible for it. You know what? Fuck this. Sung Hwa looked surprised and hurt. Damn it, you didn't understand anything of that, but it hurt. You turned away and left. Outside, the night was cool, refreshing. There was nowhere to sit, so the curbside was just fine. "I'm sorry," Sung Hwa sat down next to you. "I didn't mean to hurt you in any way." "Well, you did," you sighed, being calmer now. "Worst timing ever, you know? Since when?" "Since when?" You didn't answer. "Last year of high school, probably. Maybe even before that." "This is crazy," you smirked while remembering all those times you've thought about of him. "And what am I supposed to do now?" "I told you, you don't need to do anything." "What if I want to?" You surprised even yourself saying that. He opened his eyes a lot and grinned at you. "Since when?" "I don't know really." You looked at him, puzzled. His hair was black, as was his suit. He was as handsome and elegant as always, and he was glowing. He suddenly hugged you. "What are we going to do with the company rule?" That damn rule made sure employees didn't have romantic relationships with each other. "We'll manage." His tone was so reassuring that your unease disappeared. His scent was heady. Hugging him felt almost unreal, but you knew that there was no need to hide your feelings again.

_______________________

Hey there, lovely people. How are you doing? I hope everyone’s okay and spending this quarantine as good as possible. The situation is still very serious here in Spain, and it’s been a month since I could go out freely. I’ve always been quite the introvert type, so I’m pretty okay, but anxiety kicks in sometimes. 

I had this idea for a fic the other day and here you are! I hope you like it.

Also, sorry for not updating more, I’ve been focusing on other projects lately.

Be safe and strong, y’all. <3

[khh-writings]

True Friends - Part 11

You woke up feeling dizzy and tired. Your eyes were dry and swollen after a long night of much crying and little sleeping. You felt like your life had been completely shattered and you were missing part of yourself. Ian had been by your side your whole life and the simple thought of being without him was unbearable. Maybe, that was why you had never confessed, never said anything; not to him. Restless, you got up. You hadn't even bothered to go to your bed, so you had slept, mainly weep, on your couch. However, you couldn't stay there any longer. The idea of a dark coffee was starting to sound great. You took a look in the mirror for a second. Still wearing the same clothes as the previous day, you tied your tangled hair up in a messy bun. You put on your favourite pair of vans and left your apartment in a hurry. Less than 15 minutes later, you had a steaming cup of coffee between your hands. Hours went on, but you barely moved. Through the window of the café, people passing by could be seen, talking and laughing and enjoying themselves deeply. A weird feeling of hate invaded you. -------------------- The sky was dark and the air chilly as you walked back home. You opened the heavy door of the building and turned on the light. You stepped forward, accidentally kicking something lying on the floor. You bent and took the white envelope, which had your name written in bouncy lettering on the front side. You crumpled the piece of paper and threw it into the floor. You were too familiar with that handwriting not to recognise it. As you put your feet on the first step of the stairs, however, you started to hesitate. Rolling your eyes, angry with yourself, you turned around and picked the wrinkled paper. Would Christian hold you back, even now? After throwing your keys on the table, you sat down on the first chair that came your way and opened the envelope. You knew that reading that long and chaotically written letter, probably written under the influence of lots of alcohol, would tear you apart even more. It wasn't enough you keep you from reading it, though. Somehow, you felt like he owed you something; not an apology, but maybe an explanation. However, that explanation was harder to accept than you had possibly thought. Tears ran through your cheeks as your eyes moved from left to right, from up to down. That damn idiot, how could he possibly do it, hide everything from you all those years. Some words didn't even make sense, and you could tell he had been crying; some words were smudged. You held your breath the whole time. "I should say sorry. You'll probably be thinking that I'm a complete asshole, and I guess you are right. I know I did a lot of shit, really bad shit, to you... But I never meant you hurt you, I stand by what I said earlier today. Y/n, I know I hurt you all the time anyway. I don't even deserve to look at you. It hurts, too, you know? A lot. I tried to keep everything under control, and the harder I tried the worse it got. When you asked me if I knew, I couldn't even answer, I'm a coward after all. I need to explain everything to you, at least that I can do. I think I've been in love with you my whole life: I can remember clearly the way your smile shone on a sunny day, the scent of your hair. Fuck, Y/n. I can remember the exact way your lips tasted when you kissed me that day, and it's been more than 10 years since then. Does it even make sense? I guess you don't remember, do you? When you kissed me? I don't think so, you wouldn't look me in the face the day after if you remembered. That day I learnt that tequila and you don't get along and that holding you against my body is the best feeling in the world. I thought you liked me, at first. But then, you seemed to be oblivious. My heart ached so much that I didn't recognise myself anymore. The idea of losing you came to my mind for the first time in my life, and that was a thousand times worse, so I decided just to forget about it. I tried so hard, I tell you, not to feel the way I feel. And I think everyone just started to serve a purpose in my life. My heart went numb, but it somehow kept aching more and more every time you were around. And then love and agony started to feel the same. Maybe, that's the reason why I drifted apart. When you asked me, and I didn't answer, I should have said that I knew. I knew you loved me once, and I loved you back. I should have told you that I still love you, no matter what wicked thing I try to do not to love you. It's too late to say sorry, too late to confess it, but I think we both deserve to admit it: I love you, Y/n; and I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me someday, but even if you don't, it won't matter. I will love you anyway, and I will always be your best friend." A terrible gasp came from your mouth. You rose your arm and used your hand to cover it. Your heart was beating strongly and irregularly, and it was so difficult to breathe. You didn't even think about it as you ran through the streets, bumping into people without apologising. You stopped, out of breath, and rang the bell of Ian's apartment. What were you going to say? Would he even want to talk to you? It was you who had ended your friendship, after all. You had done something none of you would have ever thought possible. You rang the bell again, but nobody answered. "Oh, Y/n, dear. What are you doing here in the cold?" A sweet old lady had just opened the door of the building. She was Ian's neighbour. "I was wondering if Christian was home." "Christian? I saw him leaving with a big suitcase earlier. He told me he was going to stay in New York for a while. Didn't he tell you?" Something crumbled inside you. Ian said his heart had gone numb. Now, it wasn't just your heart, but your body and your mind as well. Ian left, without saying anything, or after saying too much. It didn't matter. The only thing that mattered is that she had broken everything, and he had left because of it. -------------------------- The late sun warmed your skin as soon as you got off your car. Not too far away, people strolled on the beach, some had a cocktail at the closest beach club. Your hair tickled your waist, wild. You walked towards the club, and your phone buzzed inside your pocket. "Want me to grab something for dinner before going home?" Dabin texted. "I think I'll be getting home late. It's been a while since I last saw Cline. Do you mind?" You replied while biting your lip. "Yeah, sure. See you later. Love you." "Love you too." You used to meet every Friday, at least, but life had got in the middle, and you barely met once every two weeks, if you were lucky. Ian's missing was still painful, an empty chair where a cocky half-smile should be. You couldn't tell Cline that meeting him alone made you feel somehow broken, so you just tried to avoid the topic. You sighed as you got closer. The beach club was full of people having fun. Cline was taking a sip from his beer and laughing with a genuine laugh you hadn't seen in almost a year. He was not alone. Your eyes met his and your heart skipped a beat. His hair was as messy as always, maybe a bit longer. His tanned skin was glowing in the sun. Had he got new tattoos? You got closer. Cline saw you and gave you a meaningful look, halfway excited halfway pleading. "Hey, Y/n. You look great." "Of course," you smiled. "You look as terrible as always." You had played that scene in your mind millions of times, his coming back.  You had thought about getting uncontrollably mad, going crazy and just yell at him because he had left you without even saying goodbye. Ian gave you a playful smile, as if anything had changed at all. As if you were both the same. Seein him there, however, was just comforting. "Hey, listen. Did you see the new show on...?" Cline asked. Then, the three of you started a cheerful conversation, full of laughter. You held your tears back while feeling the warmth in your heart. It had been ages since you had felt that kind of warmth. Only they could make you feel that way. From time to time, Ian would look at you, slyly. You would look at him back, as if your eyes could say everything you hadn't said in months. After holding back and not talking to him in all that time, it was almost a miracle seeing him there, smiling and talking to you as nothing had changed at all. "I will always be your best friend," he had written. True friends will always come back, no matter what.

[khh-writings]

True Friends - Part 9

As your mind had so accurate fantasised, spending the weekend in bed was your new favourite thing. Besides all the typical stuff from new couples, and you weren’t precisely thinking sex had been bad but quite de opposite, having someone around for so much time, hugging you, kissing you and simply talking to you or holding you while you binge-watched tv shows… Damn, it did feel great. You didn’t know you needed it that much.

Of course, you had done it a lot in the past, with your ex-boyfriends and even with your friends, especially with Christian, although not the kissing part. But it had been a while, and feeling understood and cared about was something you had almost forgotten. Not that you needed someone to be whole or something, but it was nice simply feeling that someone was there for you, that they would hold you if you fell.

Not having any brothers or sisters, Christian was always the one person that would come up like a hero when you felt lost or broken. He would fight anyone and anything even though you could fight them yourself, because “you are so much better than these people that they don’t even deserve that you waste a minute on them.” That’s what he would say when someone picked up a fight with you. And somehow It happened more than you would have imagined.

After Dabin left on that gloomy Sunday evening, because he needed to work the next day and be a functioning adult again, the house felt cold and empty. When the warm feeling that resulted after two wonderful days of being cared about and satisfied in every possible way faded away, nothing remained.

And even if you tried to avoid all the negative feelings, and you managed to do it for a while, they came out as strong as ever. You were confused, angry, and sad, and at the same time happy and calm. Could that even be possible? Such an emotional roller coaster was draining.

Not bearing the silence and emptiness anymore, someone came to your mind. It had only been a couple of days, but you missed him already.

“U up for a beer?” You sent in a message.

“Sure!” Cline answered almost immediately.

“Just the two of us,” you clarified. “It’s a date!”

“Won’t your boyfriend get jealous?”

“Let it be our little secret :)”

You threw on a pair of black jeans and your favourite black sweater, that had been with you since your teenage days and you hadn’t wear in a long time. You put your vans on and tied your hair up in a messy bun. You almost had a dejavú seeing yourself in the mirror, as if you were seeing a younger version of yourself, waiting for Ian and Cline to come by your house to play some games. 

___________________________________________

The street was dark and cold, so you hurried up, wishing to get a hot cup of coffee and a nice spot inside the bar for a change. However, the promise of spending a nice time with your friend was ruined as soon as you saw them outside.

You tried to turn around and go away, already thinking of the excuse you could make up, but Christian raised his head and saw you. He looked at you until you sat down with them, so intensely that you almost felt forced to look away.

“I thought this was a date,” you said in a cold tone, looking at Cline.

“How nice,” Christian answered, although nobody had asked him anything. “So it’s true. We are no longer friends,” he laughed bitterly. “Can you believe it, Cline? Because of a guy.”

“Fuck, guys,” Cline sighed. “This is so messed up. We ARE supposed to be friends, aren’t we? I thought we were over this childish stuff,” neither you nor Ian said anything. You just looked to the table, afraid of looking at Cline, feeling somehow guilty. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to lose neither of you. So… Work things out. Please?”

He got up and left.

“Maybe he’s right,” muttered Ian before taking a sip from his beer.

You were about to answer when the waiting came out of the bar.

“A cup of tea, please.”

“No beer, hmm, “ said Christian.

You looked at him for the first time since having sat down. He was pale and looked tired. Not much sleeping, you guessed.

“So you think Cline’s right.”

“I mean, You are in basically every memory of my childhood. I don’t want to lose you. The three of us have always been on the same page.”

“Yeah, maybe before, but people change.”

“Who changed?” He lifted his right eyebrow, as he always did when he was inquiring.

“You tell me, Ian. You’ve drifted apart from me, you’ve had countless of girls coming in and out not only your life but MINE as well. You don’t tell me anything anymore. It’s like you’re trying to push me away from you.”

He didn’t say a word, just looked at you. His eyes were fixed on you, but he had a blank look on his face. Then, you realised. And, finally understanding that what was going on was so obvious that only a fool wouldn’t get it was so hurtful and you could swear you felt something hit her on the chest, making you breathless. He was pushing you away because you loved him.

“Just tell me one thing. Did you know?”

He kept looking at you, now with pity in his eyes. But it was the kind of pity that you feel for someone whose life is destroyed when you don’t know them that much. More the type of feeling that results from knowing that it could happen to you, but when you can’t help but feel relieved because it’s not you.

And that look was what made you realise, truly realise.

“You were trying to push me away because you knew,” you laughed almost hysterically, tears running down your cheeks. “Of course. After all, if it seems so fucking obvious to everyone, why shouldn’t it be obvious to you,” your words were full of pain and sarcasm. They were like sharp blades, but instead of hurting everyone else, they hurt only you.

You got up. Your untouched cup of tea wasn’t steaming anymore.

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“Well, good job then, Christian.”

Christian. Not once had you called him Christian. You had always said that Christian sounded too unnatural to you, that he would always be Ian, your best friend Ian. And of course, he noticed. One simple word that hurt him more than anything, because it meant that what you never thought would happen was happening: he had lost you. You had lost one another.

You walked away. And walked, and walked. And when your home looked too close you kept walking. People in the street looked at you, pitied you when they saw tears in your eyes, on your cheeks.

Why did everyone pity you?

____________________________________________

I’ll stop here for today. Gosh, everything’s so sad TT.TT Tell me what you think!

[khh-writings]

True Friends - Part 10

Christian’s POV

She walked away. She really did. “Well, good job then, Christian,” she said. He had never heard such hurtful words, not in his entire life. He had never thought he would hear them, ever. But it was happening.

And he couldn’t help it. He walked behind her, making sure she didn’t notice he was there. And when she walked past her house he thought she would go to see him, that she would then take her phone and call him, and he would go and rescue her and make her forget about him. He couldn’t help but hate Dabin. Fuck. Why him? Everything was messed up because of him.

But she didn’t do it. She didn’t pick her phone, nor she seemed to go anywhere. She was just wandering through the streets like a lost soul. He knew Dabin wasn’t the person to blame for that. It was his fault.

He tried to leave her be, to go away. But he couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t.

So he just kept walking behind her, like some weird stalker, like he was nothing to her anymore. Luckily, even after 3 long hours of wandering, she decided to go home. And she didn't notice he was there. He could let her go home, where he knew she would cry herself to sleep.

That thought was enough to destroy him completely, so he couldn't do anything but go hope and just get drunk. He drank and drank, even knowing he had to go to work the next day. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. That's when he made a decision.

He was aware of being drunk, but he took some paper and a pen anyway. Maybe his words wouldn't make sense, maybe he would write more than he should, but writing was the only way. So he took the pen clumsily and looked at the blank paper. He started writing, and he wrote and wrote until he needed more paper. Then, he stopped.

Actually, it was back then, when she had done that.

Of course, she had always been beautiful, no matter how mad, sad or happy she was, she always had that look, those deep eyes. He had noticed, when they weren't children anymore, how incredibly gorgeous she was. Everybody picked on her, both guys and girls. Guys, because they liked her, as a pathetic and childish attempt to catch her attention. Girls, maybe envy, maybe because they liked her, too. She didn't realise, but he did. And he had the same thoughts as the rest of them, he was just as silly and permanently horny as the rest. That's why he protected her so much, stood up for her.

Not that she needed his help. She was the strongest, most ill-tempered person he had ever met. But he couldn't help it. Nobody would ever hurt her, not even himself. She was his friend.

And then, when he had finally managed to clear his mind, when he had abandoned every strange and new feeling about her, then she had done that.

But everything had been a dream, it wasn't real, was it?

It was. And when he realised...

____________________________________________

There was a tense atmosphere in the office. He had barely said 'hey' to Dabin, and he had hurriedly got to work. However, his mind was somewhere else. From time to time, he just kept gazing at the manager's office, but no one was there.

"Bunny, I brought some coffee for you!"

Oh, no. He had completely forgotten about her, and he just couldn't bear this, not now. She put a steaming cup of coffee on his table and then hugged him.

"I don't want coffee."

"But..."

He didn't let her go on.

"I said I don't want coffee. Just leave me alone."

Her arms vanished suddenly. He guessed she just went to her desk, probably feeling embarrassed because of him. Everyone was looking at him, surprised. And he didn't need to look at Dabin, he could almost physically sense his eyes on him. He didn't care.

Not even a minute passed after the manager arrived in the office and he was already knocking on the door.

"What made you change your mind," the manager said raising an eyebrow.

"I think I just need a change."

"Well, in that case, it's settled. Don't worry, it won't be for too long."

"The later I come back, the better."

In the office, everyone was working. Julie looked at him for a moment. She seemed upset.He would have to send her a text message later to let her know it was over. 

Maybe, he was a monster after all.

____________________________________

His apartment looked, somehow, empty. His suitcase wasn't too big, he would leave most of his stuff there, but it was as if the place had been empty for a long time. He wondered if that would be what he would feel when he came back. He didn't know when would he come back, though. It was scary, but at the same time exciting. Maybe, he could start over. Maybe, he wouldn't even come back. The office in New York was huge, big projects there. Maybe, it was his chance.

He took the latter he had written the previous night. Reading it now, it barely seemed legible. His handwriting was shaky and the words, confusing.

He held the paper in between his thumbs and index fingers, ready to tear it. Actually, that letter represented him more than he first thought. The words were just like him, like his feelings for her. He sighed. They say drunk people always tell the truth.

He put the letter in his pocket, took his suitcase and left his apartment.

In the street, a taxi was waiting for him.

"To the airport, please."

"Okay, let's go."

Streets were full of people and noises, everything so familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. He knew no one, he distinguished no sound. Until he saw it, one of the places in the city he knew most.

"Sir, could you stop here for a moment."

Before leaving the car, he reached for the letter, still inside his pocket.

[khh-writings]

I was just checking tumblr and I saw this one has 340 likes and reblogs, OMG I can't believe it, thank you so so so much 💜💜💜💜

I'll have to edit it to correct some mistakes, tho 😂😂

Never again

“I cannot believe you finally agreed to visit me!” He smiled and hugged you, lifting you in the air. “It has been such a long time!”

“You know, work keeps me busy,” he left you on the ground and pouted.

“You always say that but I see your Instagram filled with party and trip photos,” you remained silent, so he decided to talk: “Let’s pick your luggage, I bet you’re tired”

You were staying at Christian’s for the week, and then you would go back to your country. The ride was a bit awkward since you didn’t feel like talking too much. Okay, maybe you had been trying to avoid him for a while, but you had a perfectly reasonable excuse to do so. Of course, you missed him, you missed him a lot.

You met Christian during high school, while you were an exchange student in Sydney, and you were friends since then. You dated for a while at that time, but in the end, the distance was too much. However, you never lost your friendship. You chatted and did Skype calls all the time, and met whenever he was on a tour with DPR or you visited your friends in Seoul. You used to joke about boyfriends, girlfriends and those high school days on which you used to date. It was fun and you were totally comfortable around each other.

Although you broke up because both thoughts it was for the best, leaving him was the worst thing you ever did. You tried to convince yourself that your relationship had a date of expiry, you fell more and more in love with him.

He didn’t date too many girls, he was always busy with work, his greatest passion. And you… Well, after years of failed relationships, you had finally realised you never got over him, that it was your problem; and that was painful.

You couldn’t help but feel the way you felt. Of course, he didn’t know that. You had been making excuses for the last couple of months to not see him, but he could be really persuasive, so there you were. Maybe it was for the best, you couldn’t avoid him forever, you didn’t want to. You loved him, and not just romantically, he was important to you.

“You are lucky, the weather is nice, no monsoon rains this week,” said Christian, obviously trying to break the ice.

“That’s great, we will be able to go out and do stuff instead of spending the whole week ordering food and playing video games.”

“Like you didn’t like that.”

“Okay, you’re right. I love it, but I’ll like to enjoy Seoul a little bit.”

“Are you sure? Or is it because you’re afraid of being alone with me? I don’t bite… Too much.”

Jackpot.

“Shut up, asshole.” You could almost sense him winking at you, but you looked away. You hated how he could read your mind perfectly, as he always had.

———————————————————————————————————

Well, you could say you had survived the first couple of days, and the situation was getting better. How could not that be, he was charming and hilarious, you would never be able to be mad at him or ignore him for too long. It wasn’t awkward between you two anymore, but it wasn’t normal, either. You couldn’t help but be tense around him. Everything he did caused a reaction: they way he ran his hands through his hair, the way he smiled at you, with that goofy smile of his, and don’t get me started on the way he walked around the house every morning, wearing just a towel and making you suffer at the sight of his body.

“Damn, Christian,” you thought as you finished doing your makeup. “Tonight is party night, not Christian night.”

You put your heels on and looked in the mirror one last time: short, casual, black dress, high heels and nice make-up. Yes, you looked really good.

The guys were already there, playing video games while waiting for them to be ready. They started screaming and hitting each other as they saw you, making you laugh. You loved them.

“Isn’t Ian ready yet?”

“Nope, always late,” answered Scott. “Hey, don’t take advantage, I wasn’t paying attention,” he took the control of the PlayStation and continued which seemed to be a one versus one fight against Cline.

You headed to the kitchen and saw Dabin bending in front of the fridge.

“Already starting the party?” You asked, leaning against the table.

He got up, holding two beers. He opened them and passed you one of them, smiling.

“You know me, always ready for the party.”

You took a sip and smiled back. You really liked Dabin. He was sweet and funny and kinda naughty when he smiled the way he used to do like he was doing now. He was a good guy. Christian had the best friends in the world, and that made you extremely happy.

“Promise me you will dance with me,” you said almost without thinking.

“Okay, but just one song or Ian will get mad.”

“Why? He doesn’t want me to steal his best from him?” You inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“I think it’s the other way around.”

“Don’t think so”.

Dabin smiles at you, mysterious, and was about to say something, but Ian came to the living-room and shouted something like “Let’s party”. Dabin and you looked at each other and went back with the others, laughing.

Just for a moment, Ian’s eyes met yours and you stayed like that, staring at each other. He was wearing jeans and a plain black t-shirt, and he was freaking hot, as usual, with wet messy hair and a confident attitude.

Gosh, it was going to be a difficult night.

———————————————————————————————————

The sound produced by the cups was muffled by the music of the club. You were sitting between Christian and Dabin. As soon as the toast finished, Christian got closer to you and whispered to your ear.

“You are stunning in that dress.”

You had to do your best to avoid melting, his breath almost against your neck, a chill running down your back. Gathering all the mental strength you could to sound normal, like you didn’t care, you answered:

“Thanks.”

And it was so hard that you immediately took a huge sip of your drink, maybe too much. Well, to be honest, you almost finished your drink in one sip.

Without even looking at Christian, you grabbed Dabin’s hand and dragged him to the dancefloor, feeling as if Christian’s eyes were fixed on you.

And you danced with Dabin, and with everybody. And you avoided Christian all night. Maybe it was childish and selfish but you didn’t know what else to do. A lot of bad things could happen if you told him the truth: it would get awkward, you would drift apart, he would get mad, he would hate you… That just couldn’t happen.

You drank, a lot, a freaking lot. At some time, everything started to get blurry.

———————————————————————————————————-

You opened your eyes, confused, and your head started hurting like hell, and you had to do your best to get up. It was a bad idea. As soon as you put your feet on the ground, you felt dizzy. Without being able to help it, you started falling, but someone held you. You felt two strong arms holding you. Then you realised. You were at Christian’s. You were wearing only Christian’s t-shirt. Actually, the arms holding you were his.

“Are you okay?” He asked, sounding really worried.

“Yes, sorry,” you managed to look at him, embarrassed. The bare skin of your thighs against his shorts was warm because of the contact. He kept holding you in his arms, not letting you go. Finally, you dared to talk. “What happened yesterday? I don’t remember.”

“Really? Who would imagine it,” he raised a brow, half-smiling, cocky.

You punched his chest and tried to let go of his grip.

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologised, refusing to let you go.

“Let me sit on the bed, I’m a bit dizzy.”

He did so and you sat, sighing. “I’m sorry.”

“About what?” He sat by your side. “About ignoring me all night? About being really rude to me?”

“About getting drunk…”

“Oh, that was actually funny. Dabin and I had to take you home while you were babbling and tripping every two minutes. And then you confessed to Dabin just before we had to undress you and get you in bed.”

“Sorry… Wait, what? I did what? Did I confess to Dabin?

"Yes.”

“That’s impossible, Ian.”

“But you did.”

“I’m telling you that’s impossible.”

“Well, Y/n, you did.”

That was so impossible… How could have you possibly confessed to Dabin? He was handsome, sweet and a really good person, interesting and funny… But your heart belonged to someone else. And he was sitting by your side, telling you that you had confessed to his best friend.

Suddenly it was all too much, you couldn’t handle it and burst into tears.

“No… I couldn’t”

“Hey, hey… Y/n,” Christian hugged you. “Hey, I was kidding. You didn’t confess to anyone. Okay? Why are you crying? It’s not a big deal.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want you to think I like Dabin.”

“Well, you honestly made me think that last night. You’re seriously driving me crazy. What’s going on with you?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

“But you have to, we’re friends.”

“THAT’S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM.”

You pushed him hard, harder than you intended to. But it didn’t matter. You got up, ignoring your headache and the fact that you were almost naked, the fact that Chris undressed you the night before.

“Y/n, don’t leave”

Christian got up and held your arm tightly, not letting you go.

“Don’t leave,” he repeated.

“Why?”

“Because I want you to stay with me.”

“Ian… I’m so tired of this,” you turned to face him, giving up. He seemed to hurt.

“Of this? Of me? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me for so long?”

“How can you possibly think I’m tired of you? I would never be tired of you. I love you, Ian. And not as a friend, and that’s the damn problem. And that’s why I’ve been avoiding you and acting weird. And I’m so tired of it. I don’t want to lose you. So please…” Tears didn’t stop running through your face. “Please, ignore I said this.” You looked away, tired, embarrassed and hating yourself.

“I won’t”

“But…”

Ian’s hand held your chin, making you look at him. His face was serious, making your heart race crazily.

“I never thought it possible that you felt that way about me… That’s why I kept my feelings for myself.”

“Your feelings…?”

“You’re such an idiot, Y/n” Ian smiled, his eyes shining.

Suddenly, his lips joined yours in a slow, sweet kiss. At first, your eyes were wide open with astonishment, but soon you gave up and kissed him back, not entirely believing it was happening.

Finally, Ian pulled away to catch his breath, reluctantly.

“I love you too, Y/n.”

“But… Our friendship, our jobs, everything… It didn’t work before.”

“Shhh, we’ll make it work. I’m not letting you go ever again.”

And he kissed you again, while he laid you sweetly on the bed.

[khh-writings]

True Friends - Part 9

As your mind had so accurate fantasised, spending the weekend in bed was your new favourite thing. Besides all the typical stuff from new couples, and you weren’t precisely thinking sex had been bad but quite de opposite, having someone around for so much time, hugging you, kissing you and simply talking to you or holding you while you binge-watched tv shows… Damn, it did feel great. You didn’t know you needed it that much.

Of course, you had done it a lot in the past, with your ex-boyfriends and even with your friends, especially with Christian, although not the kissing part. But it had been a while, and feeling understood and cared about was something she had almost forgotten. Not that she needed someone to be whole or something, but it was nice simply feeling that someone was there for you, that they would hold you if you fell.

Not having any brothers or sisters, Christian was always the one person that would come up like a hero when you felt lost or broken. He would fight anyone and anything even though you could fight them yourself, because “you are so much better than these people that they don’t even deserve that you waste a minute on them.” That’s what he would say when someone picked up a fight with you. And somehow It happened more than you would have imagined.

After Dabin left on that gloomy Sunday evening, because he needed to work the next day and be a functioning adult again, the house felt cold and empty. When the warm feeling that resulted after two wonderful days of being cared about and satisfied in every possible way faded away, nothing remained.

And even if she tried to avoid all the negative feelings, and she managed to do it for a while, they came out as strong as ever. She was confused, angry, and sad, and at the same time happy and calm. Could that even be possible? Such an emotional roller coaster was draining.

Not bearing the silence and emptiness anymore, someone came to your mind. It had only been a couple of days, but you missed him already.

“U up for a beer?” You sent in a message.

“Sure!” Cline answered almost immediately.

“Just the two of us,” you clarified. “It’s a date!”

“Won’t your boyfriend get jealous?”

“Let it be our little secret :)”

You threw on a pair of black jeans and your favourite black sweater, that had been with you since your teenage days and you hadn’t wear in a long time. You put your vans on and tied your hair up in a messy bun. You almost had a dejavú seeing yourself in the mirror, as if you were seeing a younger version of yourself, waiting for Ian and Cline to come by your house to play some games. 

___________________________________________

The street was dark and cold, so you hurried up, wishing to get a hot cup of coffee and a nice spot inside the bar for a change. However, the promise of spending a nice time with your friend was ruined as soon as you saw them outside.

You tried to turn around and go away, already thinking of the excuse you could make up, but Christian raised his head and saw you. He looked at you until you sat down with them, so intensely that you almost felt forced to look away.

“I thought this was a date,” you said in a cold tone, looking at Cline.

“How nice,” Christian answered, although nobody had asked him anything. “So it’s true. We are no longer friends,” he laughed bitterly. “Can you believe it, Cline? Because of a guy.”

“Fuck, guys,” Cline sighed. “This is so messed up. We ARE supposed to be friends, aren’t we? I thought we were over this childish stuff,” neither you nor Ian said anything. You just looked to the table, afraid of looking at Cline, feeling somehow guilty. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to lose neither of you. So… Work things out. Please?”

He got up and left.

“Maybe he’s right,” muttered Ian before taking a sip from his beer.

You were about to answer when the waiting came out of the bar.

“A cup of tea, please.”

“No beer, hmm, “ said Christian.

You looked at him for the first time since having sat down. He was pale and looked tired. Not much sleeping, you guessed.

“So you think Cline’s right.”

“I mean, You are in basically every memory of my childhood. I don’t want to lose you. The three of us have always been on the same page.”

“Yeah, maybe before, but people change.”

“Who changed?” He lifted his right eyebrow, as he always did when he was inquiring.

“You tell me, Ian. You’ve drifted apart from me, you’ve had countless of girls coming in and out not only your life but MINE as well. You don’t tell me anything anymore. It’s like you’re trying to push me away from you.”

He didn’t say a word, just looked at you. His eyes were fixed on you, but he has a blank look on his face. Then, you realised. And, finally understanding that what was going on was so obvious that only a fool wouldn’t get it was so hurtful and she could swear she felt something hit her on the chest, making you breathless. He was pushing you away because he loved you.

“Just tell me one thing. Did you know?”

He kept looking at her, now with pity in his eyes. But it was the kind of pity that you feel for someone whose life is destroyed when you don’t know them that much. More the type of feeling that results from knowing that it could happen to you, but when you can’t help but feel relieved because it’s not you.

And that look was what made you realise, truly realist.

“You were trying to push me away because you knew,” you laughed almost hysterically, tear running down your cheeks. “Of course. After all, if it seems so fucking obvious to everyone, why shouldn’t it be obvious to you,” your words were full of pain and sarcasm. They were like sharp blades, but instead of hurting everyone else, they hurt only you.

You got up. Your untouched cup of tea wasn’t steaming anymore.

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“Well, good job then, Christian.”

Christian. Not once had you called him Christian. You had always said that Christian sounded too unnatural to you, that he would always be Ian, your best friend Ian. And of course, he noticed. One simple word that hurt him more than anything, because it meant that what they never thought would happen was happening: he had lost you. You had lost each other.

You walked away. And walked, and walked. And when your home looked too close you kept walking. People in the street looked at you, pitied you when they saw tears in your eyes, on your cheeks.

Why did everyone pity you?

____________________________________________

I’ll stop here for today. Gosh, everything’s so sad TT.TT Tell me what you think!

[khh-writings]

True Friends - Part 9

As your mind had so accurate fantasised, spending the weekend in bed was your new favourite thing. Besides all the typical stuff from new couples, and you weren’t precisely thinking sex had been bad but quite de opposite, having someone around for so much time, hugging you, kissing you and simply talking to you or holding you while you binge-watched tv shows... Damn, it did feel great. You didn’t know you needed it that much.

Of course, you had done it a lot in the past, with your ex-boyfriends and even with your friends, especially with Christian, although not the kissing part. But it had been a while, and feeling understood and cared about was something you had almost forgotten. Not that you needed someone to be whole or something, but it was nice simply feeling that someone was there for you, that they would hold you if you fell.

Not having any brothers or sisters, Christian was always the one person that would come up like a hero when you felt lost or broken. He would fight anyone and anything even though you could fight them yourself, because “you are so much better than these people that they don’t even deserve that you waste a minute on them.” That’s what he would say when someone picked up a fight with you. And somehow It happened more than you would have imagined.

After Dabin left on that gloomy Sunday evening, because he needed to work the next day and be a functioning adult again, the house felt cold and empty. When the warm feeling that resulted after two wonderful days of being cared about and satisfied in every possible way faded away, nothing remained.

And even if you tried to avoid all the negative feelings, and you managed to do it for a while, they came out as strong as ever. You were confused, angry, and sad, and at the same time happy and calm. Could that even be possible? Such an emotional roller coaster was draining.

Not bearing the silence and emptiness anymore, someone came to your mind. It had only been a couple of days, but you missed him already.

“U up for a beer?” You sent in a message.

“Sure!” Cline answered almost immediately.

“Just the two of us,” you clarified. “It’s a date!”

“Won’t your boyfriend get jealous?”

“Let it be our little secret :)”

You threw on a pair of black jeans and your favourite black sweater, that had been with you since your teenage days and you hadn’t wear in a long time. You put your vans on and tied your hair up in a messy bun. You almost had a dejavú seeing yourself in the mirror, as if you were seeing a younger version of yourself, waiting for Ian and Cline to come by your house to play some games. 

___________________________________________

The street was dark and cold, so you hurried up, wishing to get a hot cup of coffee and a nice spot inside the bar for a change. However, the promise of spending a nice time with your friend was ruined as soon as you saw them outside.

You tried to turn around and go away, already thinking of the excuse you could make up, but Christian raised his head and saw you. He looked at you until you sat down with them, so intensely that you almost felt forced to look away.

“I thought this was a date,” you said in a cold tone, looking at Cline.

“How nice,” Christian answered, although nobody had asked him anything. “So it’s true. We are no longer friends,” he laughed bitterly. “Can you believe it, Cline? Because of a guy.”

“Fuck, guys,” Cline sighed. “This is so messed up. We ARE supposed to be friends, aren’t we? I thought we were over this childish stuff,” neither you nor Ian said anything. You just looked to the table, afraid of looking at Cline, feeling somehow guilty. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to lose neither of you. So... Work things out. Please?”

He got up and left.

“Maybe he’s right,” muttered Ian before taking a sip from his beer.

You were about to answer when the waiting came out of the bar.

“A cup of tea, please.”

“No beer, hmm, “ said Christian.

You looked at him for the first time since having sat down. He was pale and looked tired. Not much sleeping, you guessed.

“So you think Cline’s right.”

“I mean, You are in basically every memory of my childhood. I don’t want to lose you. The three of us have always been on the same page.”

“Yeah, maybe before, but people change.”

“Who changed?” He lifted his right eyebrow, as he always did when he was inquiring.

“You tell me, Ian. You’ve drifted apart from me, you’ve had countless of girls coming in and out not only your life but MINE as well. You don’t tell me anything anymore. It’s like you’re trying to push me away from you.”

He didn’t say a word, just looked at you. His eyes were fixed on you, but he had a blank look on his face. Then, you realised. And, finally understanding that what was going on was so obvious that only a fool wouldn’t get it was so hurtful and you could swear you felt something hit her on the chest, making you breathless. He was pushing you away because you loved him.

“Just tell me one thing. Did you know?”

He kept looking at you, now with pity in his eyes. But it was the kind of pity that you feel for someone whose life is destroyed when you don’t know them that much. More the type of feeling that results from knowing that it could happen to you, but when you can’t help but feel relieved because it’s not you.

And that look was what made you realise, truly realise.

“You were trying to push me away because you knew,” you laughed almost hysterically, tears running down your cheeks. “Of course. After all, if it seems so fucking obvious to everyone, why shouldn’t it be obvious to you,” your words were full of pain and sarcasm. They were like sharp blades, but instead of hurting everyone else, they hurt only you.

You got up. Your untouched cup of tea wasn’t steaming anymore.

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“Well, good job then, Christian.”

Christian. Not once had you called him Christian. You had always said that Christian sounded too unnatural to you, that he would always be Ian, your best friend Ian. And of course, he noticed. One simple word that hurt him more than anything, because it meant that what you never thought would happen was happening: he had lost you. You had lost one another.

You walked away. And walked, and walked. And when your home looked too close you kept walking. People in the street looked at you, pitied you when they saw tears in your eyes, on your cheeks.

Why did everyone pity you?

____________________________________________

I’ll stop here for today. Gosh, everything’s so sad TT.TT Tell me what you think!

[khh-writings]

Hi everyone, long time no see 😉

I've got part 9 (and half of part 10) of True Friends and I'm too excited! I still need to do some proofreading but it's coming veery soon 💙💙💙

Part 11 will be the last one, but it comes with a surprise 🙊🙊🙊

[khh-writings]

Some gifs from Sexy4eva in Madrid. Loving how Harry moves away when Jay tries to give him some thongs 😂😂😂

FYI: in last gif he was saying "bailando" (dancing in Spanish) ❤❤

FYI2: his smile is 🤤🤤 (I know you know, I'll never get tired of saying it)

[khh-writings]

True Friends - Part 8.2

You were already wearing the red lace dress that suited you so well when he knocked on the door of your apartment. One last look in the mirror before opening the door, smiling. You were feeling amazing and ready for a night out with your boyfriend, before hopefully spending the whole weekend in bed. "We have the table booked for 9 PM." You said as he walked in, looking intensely at you, without hiding his smirk. "So we have some time. What do you want to do?" He said, suggesting rather than asking, as he sat on the sofa. You laughed, although you couldn't avoid but feel a warm sensation run through your body, as you sat next to him. "Don't be playful, I don't want my outfit to get spoiled," you faked pouting and then kissed him, teasing him. "Shame," he smirked, before leaving a trail of kisses on your neck. "Hey, how was your day?"  You asked. He seemed to become tense as if you had reminded him of something bad. "Could've been better," he said, not as playful anymore. "Are you saying it because your job sucks or because Christian behaved like a jerk?" "I love my job, it doesn't suck at all," he answered swiftly. Then, Christian was a jerk, of course. You suddenly felt bad, your body numb, your skin cold. You got up, away from Dabin, not wanting him to notice. But you knew he could tell, you had always been so obvious. So obvious it was almost a miracle that Christian hadn't noticed your crush on him. And now, you were happy. It didn't matter if everything had started as a stupid bet or because of a cup of coffee. After that much time waiting for him to realise, always afraid of who his next girlfriend would be, having nightmares of you confessing and getting rejected, a friendship broken... You knew you deserved it. You deserved Dabin. You looked at him and saw him frowning, worried. You smiled, getting a bit lost on his lips, and then his nose, and his eyes. He was perfect. You didn't need to worry anymore, to suffer. Being just friends with Christian was the right decision, it had always been. And yet... "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with him, seriously. He's always acting up as he is the centre of the damn universe." Yet it hurt knowing he was not capable of being just normal. Being a good friend, being there when he was needed. You sat down again, holding Dabin's hand. It was soft and warm, as everything around him. He looked at you, and you knew. He was holding back, hiding something from you. "Dabin, what's wrong? If he did something..." "It's not that," Dabin said, still hesitating. "Listen..." He sighed and looked at you,  with such a severe look on his face that you pulled your hand away. "What's wrong?" "Nothing," he said, seeing the look on your face. "Nothing's wrong between us, but I have something to tell you." "And what is it?" Then, Dabin started talking. You listened in disbelief and felt confused, sad and then, finally, angry. It couldn't be true. It was impossible. "So, you're saying he was in love with me?" "Exactly. And he made me promise I wouldn't tell you, but I can't hide it from you, because I know how you feel, too." What? You must have surely been puzzled when he said that. Not really getting what he was saying or, in this case, implying. "What do I feel?" "It's so obvious, Y/n." "It is, isn't it?" You answered. Then, both of you were silent. And silence hurt. Suddenly, you felt the urge to explain yourself. "Look, I can hide who I felt about him, how I still feel, but it doesn't mean that I don't love you. You are the only good thing it happened to me in a long time." "So... You love me?" Dabin was serious as he looked at you. You couldn't really tell what was going through his mind, but he didn't seem worried or hurt. He actually seemed calm, relieved. And now, it was you the one who was worried and hurt. Worried about him not loving you back, about having it said too soon, and hurt about Christian, about everything he did, everything he had hidden from you. "I do... And I do hope it's not too soon." "It's never soon enough," he affirmed, smiling. You got closer to him, and then closer, and closer. And you finally kissed him. You didn't care about Christian anymore. At least, not for now. "What about skipping dinner?" you said, with the biggest smile on your lips. "Sounds like a good plan."

[khh-writings]

True Friends - Part 8

He got out of his car, slowly. He wasn’t in the best of the moods that morning, and it was because he knew. He knew what would happen as soon as he put his foot in the office. Things would be weird. ‘Oh Hell, they will surely be,’ he thought as he went through the automatic door of the building. One would say he had never been that fast when it came to starting work, and they would be right. Trying to avoid Christian wasn’t easy at all: no individual office nor much privacy in that small office of them. That’s why he quickly turned on his computer and got hands on with work.  He sighed with relief when he realised Christian was out, working in the recording something and slowed down a bit, but he was never that lucky. “All the women in this world, and it had to be my best friend,” he heard Ian’s voice behind his back. His colleague (could he call him 'friend’ from now on?) put a cup of coffee on his desk, as leaned against it. Dabin knew it was his way of saying 'I need to talk’. They had started to work together a couple of years ago when the company hired Christian for the artistic stuff. They got along since the very first moment they met, and they had been hanging out quite a lot outside work. However, Christian had never introduced his friends, and now he wondered if it would have changed anything. “Destiny is a bitch.” “Oh, I don’t believe in destiny,” said Ian with a low tone voice. He sounded tense, as if he were holding back. That caused a reaction on him, as he fell his back and jaw tensing, and he clenched his fists, trying not to let the anger take over. He wouldn’t let Christian intimidate him, though. “Call it karma, then.” Christian sighed and stood straight, moving away from his desk. It seemed like the air started to flow again, and their primary instinct disappeared at last. His voice changed completely as he spoke again, almost in a pleading tone, scared voice. “Did you tell her?” “Tell her what?” “You know what.” Of course he knew, he knew too well… And he hadn’t stop thinking about it for a second since last night. “ I didn’t,” he murmured. His colleague looked so relieved he couldn’t even hide it. All the tension he seemed to have been keeping on his shoulders suddenly disappeared, and he could breathe normally again. 

__________________________

He didn’t remember exactly when was it, maybe two years ago or so. They were having a drink (or a couple) after work on a Friday evening. Ian was talking about how annoying her best friend was. Maybe he was a bit drunk. He had thought how funny he was, back then, mumbling non-stop and complaining about this guy she was seeing. “And now she’s seeing this guy, and I swear, he’s a complete idiot. She’s got the worst of tastes when it comes to guys.” “So you think she should be dating you, you mean,” he had answered. He had known him for a short time and had already witnessed several girls coming in and out of his life. At first, he had thought he was just another unfeeling idiot, but then, after much observing, he had noticed that something was missing, every time, with every girl. He was always good at knowing people even more than they knew themselves, and that guy was like a fully open book with its title in capital letters. Christian had looked at him, horrified, after that bold statement. He didn’t remember what he said after that, only that it was an endless succession of poorly argued excuses and strong self-denial. He ended up letting it go that evening, being Christian as drunk as he was by then but decided to talk to him about it later on. He was curious, he couldn’t help it. It took two of three girlfriends, much drinking together and the breakup of his friend with her boyfriend for him to finally admit that he had a crush on her.  At least, that’s what he said. Even then, he was lying to himself. He was completely, hopelessly in love with her, and he couldn’t even admit that, nor start to imagine to which extent his feelings controlled him. And he tried to fight them with girls and indifference, Dabin knew as much as that, but he couldn’t understand why. __________________________

“So please, let it stay that way,” said Ian, almost with a trembling voice. Even now, he was fighting, fighting so hard. “I never really understood why.” “Why what?” “Hide your feelings for her so desperately.” “You would never understand.” “Yeah, I wouldn’t. I mean, I never had a friendship like that. It’s like if you needed each other so much that you can’t help it but hate the other for it.” Christian said nothing, but he didn’t move, either. He felt his heart beating faster, the blood heating up his skin, making it burn. “I don’t think it’s fair for her, but I won’t say anything. But I’m not doing it as a favour to you, but to myself. I like her a lot, and I don’t want her to hurt because your friendship ends or God knows what.” “Thank you,” was all Christian could say before his girlfriend appeared and suddenly was all over him, not really caring much about being at work.

___________________________

Hey guys! How are you doing? I finally got my shit together and managed to write a chapter, yeeeei!! This chapter was too long, so I decided to split it up into two parts. I’ll upload the next part this week.

Hope you like it <3 

[khh-writings]

True Friends - Part 8

He got out of his car, slowly. He wasn't in the best of the moods that morning, and it was because he knew. He knew what would happen as soon as he put his foot in the office. Things would be weird. 'Oh Hell, they will surely be,' he thought as he went through the automatic door of the building. One would say he had never been that fast when it came to starting work, and they would be right. Trying to avoid Christian wasn't easy at all: no individual office nor much privacy in that small office of them. That's why he quickly turned on his computer and got hands on with work.  He sighed with relief when he realised Christian was out, working in the recording something and slowed down a bit, but he was never that lucky. "All the women in this world, and it had to be my best friend," he heard Ian's voice behind his back. His colleague (could he call him 'friend' from now on?) put a cup of coffee on his desk, as he leaned against it. Dabin knew it was his way of saying 'I need to talk'. They had started to work together a couple of years ago when the company hired Christian for the artistic stuff. They got along since the very first moment they met, and they had been hanging out quite a lot outside work. However, Christian had never introduced his friends, and now he wondered if it would have changed anything. "Destiny is a bitch." "Oh, I don't believe in destiny," said Ian with a low tone voice. He sounded tense, as if he were holding back. That caused a reaction on him, as he fell his back and jaw tensing, and he clenched his fists, trying not to let the anger take over. He wouldn't let Christian intimidate him, though. "Call it karma, then." Christian sighed and stood straight, moving away from his desk. It seemed like the air started to flow again, and their primary instinct disappeared at last. His voice changed completely as he spoke again, almost in a pleading tone, scared voice. "Did you tell her?" "Tell her what?" "You know what." Of course he knew, he knew too well... And he hadn't stop thinking about it for a second since last night. " I didn't," he murmured. His colleague looked so relieved he couldn't even hide it. All the tension he seemed to have been keeping on his shoulders suddenly disappeared, and he could breathe normally again. 

__________________________

He didn't remember exactly when was it, maybe two years ago or so. They were having a drink (or a couple) after work on a Friday evening. Ian was talking about how annoying her best friend was. Maybe he was a bit drunk. He had thought how funny he was, back then, mumbling non-stop and complaining about this guy she was seeing. "And now she's seeing this guy, and I swear, he's a complete idiot. She's got the worst of tastes when it comes to guys." "So you think she should be dating you, you mean," he had answered. He had known him for a short time and had already witnessed several girls coming in and out of his life. At first, he had thought he was just another unfeeling idiot, but then, after much observing, he had noticed that something was missing, every time, with every girl. He was always good at knowing people even more than they knew themselves, and that guy was like a fully open book with its title in capital letters. Christian had looked at him, horrified, after that bold statement. He didn't remember what he said after that, only that it was an endless succession of poorly argued excuses and strong self-denial. He ended up letting it go that evening, being Christian as drunk as he was by then, but decided to talk to him about it later on. He was curious, he couldn't help it. It took two of three girlfriends, much drinking together and the breakup of his friend with her boyfriend for him to finally admit that he had a crush on her.  At least, that's what he said. Even then, he was lying to himself. He was completely, hopelessly in love with her, and he couldn't even admit that, nor start to imagine to which extent his feelings controlled him. And he tried to fight them with girls and indifference, Dabin knew as much as that, but he couldn't understand why. __________________________

"So please, let it stay that way," said Ian, almost with a trembling voice. Even now, he was fighting, fighting so hard. "I never really understood why." "Why what?" "Hide your feelings for her so desperately." "You would never understand." "Yeah, I wouldn't. I mean, I never had a friendship like that. It's like if you needed each other so much that you can't help it but hate the other for it." Christian said nothing, but he didn't move, either. He felt his heart beating faster, the blood heating up his skin, making it burn. "I don't think it's fair for her, but I won't say anything. But I'm not doing it as a favour to you, but to myself. I like her a lot, and I don't want her to hurt because your friendship ends or God knows what." "Thank you," was all Christian could say before his girlfriend appeared and suddenly was all over him, not really caring much about being at work.

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Hey guys! How are you doing? I finally got my shit together and managed to write a chapter, yeeeei!! This chapter was too long, so I decided to split it up into two parts. I’ll upload the next part this week.

Hope you like it <3 

[khh-writings]

True friend part 8 soon queen ?

Yees, I'm away on holiday rn, but I'll write it as soon as I come back! Thank you for showing interest, it makes me really happy 😍😍❤❤

[khh-writings]

i noticed that theres not coogie throughout tumblr:( can u please do some with him??? I dont really have a special request

Hey dear!

Thank you for asking and sorry for not answering the previous one (I haven't checked this tumblr for ages 😭😭😭).

There's a series I have to finished and I request from a los of months ago I couldn't do 😭 My current job requires most of my time and I'm working on a personal writing project whenever I have the time to do so, plus studying for some things I need to. I'm a mess rn 😂

Buuuuuut, I will be getting a new job next month and I'll have more free time! So, I can't promise when, but I'll def write something for you (plus Coogie deserves to have something written in here).

Thank you so so so much but not giving up on me, you deserve everything ❤

[khh-writings]

OMG my heart😫😫😫 Why is he like this?!! Poor y/n😭😭 I loved your "True friendship" story but my heart💔💔💔 thank you tho hope you update soon and heal me, meanwhile i'll be crying in my corner😂🤣

Christian is a softy so making him play the role of the bad guy is so difficult, but I like how's turning out! I still have to come out with some ideas for the next parts omg, what will happen with their friendship? 😱😱

Thank you so much love, you made my day, I can't wait to have a little bit of free time and write the next part 😍😍

[khh-writings]

True Friends - Part 7

Dabin kissed you on the lips before you closed the door. He had insisted on walking you to the door of your apartment. When the door was totally closed, you leant against it and sighed, smiling. You ran to the window, just to see his car going away. Going to pick you up at the airport even though you hadn’t asked had been sweet enough, but he had also invited you to have dinner at a very pretty, intimate restaurant. Your heart was still beating fast.

However, looking in the distance, to the busy city, full of people and cars, your happiness soon fade away and gave way to anger as the thought of Ian came to your mind. Gosh, you couldn’t stop thinking about him even now.

“Asshole. How dare he behave like that.”

It wall all about him being an idiot. He had been rude and sarcastic, and that made you extremely mad. You had to put up with his girlfriend but he thought he had the right to be like that when he saw Dabin… What was wrong with him, really? Was he jealous? If that was the case, why going out with that girl? No, it had to be something else. Maybe he didn’t like Dabin, he hated him because of some reason you didn’t know. It could be something about their job. Even if it was true, he didn’t have the right to be like that, not when you were finally happy.

Okay, enough was enough. This time, he wouldn’t get away with it. At least, not without hearing you first.

You put on a jacket, put your keys in your pocket and left your apartment in a rush. It was getting dark and even colder, but you didn’t care. You walked fast, trying to avoid the numerous people that walked through the street. Christian’s apartment was quite close to yours, he had rented that one on purpose, so you could meet each other without you needing to take the bus or the subway, or even a taxi.

Less than five minutes later, you were knocking at his door.

“What’s wrong?” He said as he opened the door, shirtless and rubbing his eye. His voice was husky and low, as it usually was when he had just woken up.

God, he was sexy, and you were taken aback every time you saw him like that, no matter how many times you saw him shirtless, or having just woken up, his hair tousled. And he was always so clueless, like he didn’t realise, or care.

“Is your girlfriend here?” You asked.

“No, she left a while ago. Why?”

“Good.” You came in without asking.

Lights were turned off, but you didn’t need them. You knew every inch of his apartment like he knew yours, you had been there a million times. You suddenly remembered those times when you would watch movies all day without even moving away from the sofa, or when you would enter his bedroom and just lay down by his side, your head on his chest, without saying anything. You shook your head, trying to ignore those thoughts and focusing on your task.

“Y/n, what’s going on? It’s almost midnight.” He followed you to the living room, turned the lights on and sat down on the sofa. He looked almost as if he was expecting you to sit by his side, and blinked a couple times, confused, while looking at you there, standing with your arms crossed and looking mad.

“What was all that about?” You asked, lowering your voice tone. It was really difficult being angry with him.

“What?”

“The airport.”

“Y/n, I don’t get you. What are you doing here?”

“I want to know why you were so rude to Dabin today.”

“Was I? I don’t recall being rude to anybody today. I think you’re mistaking me for another person.” He rose his head to look at you, defiant.

“Gosh, you’re exasperating. Repeat me why we are friends.”

“Because you cannot live without me.”

He was being self-centered and obnoxious, and you were running out of patience.

“Oh, can’t I? Keep being like that, and you’ll see if I can or not.”

“Seriously, Y/n, I don’t get you. Why are you so mad? I’ve known him longer than you.”

“So what? I don’t care about that, I don’t care if you were friends or if you hated him or whatever.”

“So, now I have to like him merely because he’s your boyfriend.”

“Yes, you do, as I have to like your stupid girlfriend merely because she’s your girlfriend, and as I had to like all your girlfriends because you wanted me to. I’m tired of that shit, Christian.”

Anger had lead out to sadness and you were tired, so tired. Maybe, if he wasn’t capable of putting himself in your shoes, of just being nice after all these years and everything you had done for him… Maybe he wasn’t your friend after all… Perhaps… You had been wrong the whole time.

Not even realising, you looked at him as if all the sadness of the world had settled in your gaze. You didn’t want to say more. You turned away and left the living room, walking towards the door. Tears began to form in your eyes.

His hand was warm when he grabbed your arm softly, but you didn’t turn around. Your heart beat so strongly that it was almost deafening.

“Do you like him? For real?”

His voice totally lacked of arrogance now, almost pleading.

“I do, Ian… And if after everything we went through, you can’t just be happy for me, maybe we shouldn’t be friends.”

Ian let go of your arm, but he didn’t say a thing. “So, that’s it,” you thought. You closed your eyes, and some tears ran through your cheeks. Inhaling, you opened the door and left the apartment, without looking back.

It was cold outside, but you didn’t care. It would be better if your tears froze, so they would match the numbness of your body, as you forced yourself to walk into the night, feeling empty and lost.