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Fred the stuffed microwavable owlet's accident: a shorter story

Fred the Owlet’s person wrote with an emergency. The email was titled: Owlet drowning incident, and the body of the email said:

Hi there,

I have a stuffed owl who I’ve had for many years who has great sentimental value to me. Much to my horror, I accidentally ran him through the washing machine on hot yesterday.

Based on some research, he’s by Intelex, and is thus is filled with lavendar and some kind of grain. He was microwavable prior to this incident. Since the washing machine situation, his inner grain seems to have expanded and I’m super worried he’s going to mildew. He is in great shape but I’m wondering if you would be able to restuff him? He means a great deal to me. Photos attached of Fred who is currently in the deck drying. Quote appreciated.

And here was the photo of Fred, outside in the sun but desperately wanting to return home:

(I knew as soon as I saw that that I would need to share this story with all of you!).

In any case, Fred’s person couldn’t get him to the hospital right away, but being a surgical nurse, she felt confident carefully opening him up and removing his filling before bringing him to the hospital. That filling was linseed and lavender. She planned to get a donor for his new organs, but brought him to the hospital for a full spa while the donor took few in.

After carefully removing all seeds from his seams, and stuffing from his feet and wings, Fred had another bath at the hospital to be sure he didn’t have any accidental internal growths. That’s the fear with seeds you see, I’ve seen them sprout inside stuffed animals!

Here he is in his bubble bath:

The donor arrived while Fred was drying, but Fred’s person just couldn’t sacrifice him for his organs. Instead, she weighed him and brought him to the hospital with a bag of linseeds that matched his weight. I had lavender to add, and we used Fred’s new brother as a reference for chubbiness only (no donor donation needed). Here are the two of them, ready to go home (Fred is on the right looking at the photo, and that’s Ralph the bunny (another patient) in the background):

The owlets’ human wrote:

Just a quick note to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Fred looks perfect- and he smells amazing!! I’m confident that we will have many more years together now, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Thank you for what you do, and thank you for adding whimsy to a world that could use a lot more of that.

********

If you enjoyed this post, you may be interested in my substack newsletter, doctorbeth.substack.com. It’s free, and you get the stories straight to your inbox. I also do occassional retro posts from the backlog through the newsletter. But don’t worry, I’ll keep posting everything new here too.

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ilove when someone posts about an issue that's supposedly plaguing society and it's painfully obvious that said issue is not a thing that matters if youre not on tiktok

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this is getting concerning no i do not want to coddle a man like a child nor do i want him to control me and make all my decisions. have none of you considered maybe a man who is nice to you and treats you well and respects you. just a thought

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things are funnier when you're in a good mood. **remembers i'm on the internet in 2025** And that's a form of emotional manipulation.

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Reverse picture of Dorian Gray: in addition to normal aging you also start to age like a painting

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oh ew is that really what i sowed? eww omigod i am NOT reaping that

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what if your doppelganger loved being you more than you ever loved being yourself. they're better at being you and everyone loves them and it feels almost selfish to want your life back. i want clone horror but the horror is that the thing trying to replace you is also the person you always wanted to be.

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All the gold for Laika.

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oh and that gap in my resume is when i was digging my own grave

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irish coworker: *is back from a month in italy*

me: the weather must have been great, you're looking so tanned!

irish coworker: *stares down at his arms, which are a shade of eggshell white i associate with tasteful wedding table settings* i suppose i am!

welsh coworker: *enters room* wow, youre looking so tanned!

ghanaian coworker: *looks around like hes on the truman show*

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Get rolled, buddy

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yeah im into bdsm Be Dozing So Much

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on survival

-// @aridante // @orivu // @buzzkillgirls // ? // ? // richard siken// @cemeterything // moomin, tove jansson// @disenchanted-killjoy // isn't that enough, shawn mendes// @ prettytheyswag on twitter// @ coletyumuch on twitter// ? // ? // bird by bird, anne lamott// undertale// @strawberrycircuits

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Burnout is a jockey and he's riding me to death.