those-damn-phwinks

[those-damn-phwinks]

i fear today’s wordle made the bedtime routine a little less relaxing ;(

[those-damn-phwinks]

i hope phil is somewhere mindfully eating chips

[those-damn-phwinks]

imagine you're in line to meet dan and phil. youre so excited and nervous that you're practically shaking. its finally your turn. as you turn the corner, they both stare at you, their professional smiles melting into a glare of disgust, but also one of recognition.

"aren't you... THAT blogger?" "the really weird one?"

you're frozen in place with shock. they know about YOUR blog and all the freak nasty phan shit youve been posting about, they know it well enough to even recognize your face. you can't even find the words to respond, just stammering and muttering.

"guards, seize them." immediately two large bodyguards hoist you up by your shoulders and remove you from the venue, all while kicking and screaming, "BUT YOU SAID RPF WAS FINE!" you manage to barely hear one of them shout back, "NOT WHEN YOU DO IT!" before you're finally tossed onto the parking lot pavement

[those-damn-phwinks]

I know we are all sad dan and phil didn’t upload today but what I have seen enough of is THEORIES!!! I mean common guys we used to be a SOCIETY

What happened to being delusional and offering the biggest and analytical yet chaotic theories?

[those-damn-phwinks]

we used to have dan and phil

[those-damn-phwinks]

Where are they

on my nerves

[those-damn-phwinks]

dan and phil:

Embrace the joint name and have the courage to get hitched

(professionally)

[those-damn-phwinks]

yeah fuck it, im fully convinced they’re on another vacation or trip before the rebrand. I need to stop being paralyzed by the thought that they’re about to upload I fear that will not be happening for a little bit

[those-damn-phwinks]

dan favouriting Obamas tweet doesnt mean that he is gay it means he supports gay marriage

don’t make everything about phan

[those-damn-phwinks]

dan and phil are gonna move any second or minute now I feel it in my phucking bones

[those-damn-phwinks]

It's good to be young, but let's not kid ourselves It's better to pass on through those years and come out the other side with our hearts still beating

[those-damn-phwinks]

turn to the altar of love 🗡️

[those-damn-phwinks]

Imagine: You hadn’t told anyone but Dan that you and Phil were dating because you were scared of how people would react when they heard you were the girl who took the innocence away from little butterfly hugging,Panda sniffing Phil Lester but Phil had but up a video explaining about the rumors of you and Phil dating. 

a/n: I dont know why the GIF is not working but just ignore that!

[those-damn-phwinks]

Y/N HOWELL!!1! CORRECT!

Dan be like:

I woke up and straightened my perfectly swooped fringe, when suddenly my phone rang. It was my personal friend Pete Wentz. He's calling about a joke we did for my Sony Award winning radio show.

Just then, I get a notification. Gerard Way tweeted me to say I'm awesome! This has to be the best day since I slathered honey all over a naked charlieissocoollike!

Then my best friend and soulmate, AmazingPhil, walks in the room to congratulate me on having the #1 song on itunes. I beat out Kanye!

We high five about also being #1 NYT best selling authors and then rehearse for our sold out world tour.

I pick out an outfit from my wardrobe of designer clothes, many of which I got for free because I'm rich and famous. I decide just a hoodie because I'm ~not like other girls~. Clearly, I know what I'm doing since I won Sugarscape magazine's Hottest Lad 2012!

I record a video for my YouTube channel (I have over 6 million subscribers!) where I talk about the Disney movie I was in winning an Oscar.

After a fancy takeaway dinner, me and Phil plan our next holiday. We're thinking Japan again. I look on rightmove for houses because we can now afford buying in central London, but none of them speak to me. Maybe we'll just build one from scratch so it can be perfect and aesthetic. I mean I am a millionaire so why not.

I go to bed and dream about how I am immune to aging and will still look bright and young even when I'm thirty.

[those-damn-phwinks]

do we think rebrand is today… tomorrow… in 6 weeks…

i think dan and phil are evil and whatever i say they will do the opposite

[those-damn-phwinks]

as a member of one of the only people who didn’t think we were gonna get a phupload today nor thought the rebrand was about to happen I feel hashtag psychic.

[those-damn-phwinks]

everyone is freaking out and getting all stressed that the rebrand is gonna happen any moment but I find peace in knowing that they’ll very very VERY likely make a tweet giving us a wedding invite for the date or some shit like that. there’s no way they’re dropping the rebrand without any kind of warning, they know us and they know they need to get our collective attention before hand