killerbee131 - Tumblr blog

[killerbee131]

ROUND 1: CABBAGE MAN (avatar) VS FRED (spongebob)

"MY LEG"- GREAT QUOTES OF FRED

[killerbee131]

ROUND 1: GILGAMESH (the epic of gilgamesh) VS SCRATCH (ice age)

[killerbee131]

ROUND 1: HOTEL DETECTIVE (she was a) VS BLUE CANARY (the outlet by the light switch)

[killerbee131]

why should i lust after men whose members are like those of donkeys, and whose issue is like that of horses, when i can BE a man whose member is like those of donkeys, and whose issue is like that of horses?

[killerbee131]

so i was talking to this dude and i was like "wherefore art thou romeo" and he was like "well wherefore art thou juliette huh??" and you know what? yeah good point actually

[killerbee131]

left my gender in my other pants and then I lost it in the washing machine :/

[killerbee131]

Today I'm trans because my inventory was too full so I had to drop my gender to fit more important things

yeah

[killerbee131]

goodbye?

as you, darling followers, are all no doubt aware, tumblr has made a decision to ban adult content as of december 17; a prohibition that will self-evidently include the photos of erect penises that are the bread and butter of this account. existing posts will be set to private mode, and any future posts will be automatically deleted. it seems that critique my dick pic is now over—at least in its current manifestation, on this sadly waning platform.

quite a few people have reached out to ask me how i’m feeling about the ban and whether i will move CMDP somewhere else. the answers, in reverse order, are that i don’t know yet, and that i’m feeling very emotional!

CMDP is over five years old; an eternity in blog years. i have written about my experience running it several times, and was even interviewed by a childhood hero of mine on the topic. the feedback about CMDP has always been overwhelmingly positive: readers told me i was running a hilarious and crucial public service, and people with dicks gratefully took up my advice. senders told me that the site helped them feel better about their bodies and that they appreciated its inclusive, anti-shaming ethos. a trans woman recently told me that CMDP was a small factor in her becoming comfortable enough to transition, which was one of the most heartwarming and humbling things i’ve heard.

this was a silly, tongue-in-cheek blog that took a faux-highbrow approach to dick pic photography and i don’t have delusions of grandeur about its significance, but it was often a vehicle for earnest discussions about consent, body image, gender identity, and being a decent sexual partner. it was a nice place on the internet, and nice places on the internet have become few and far between. i’m proud of CMDP, and i love the little community that has built up around it. 

i never introduced myself to most of you. i’m maddie! i’m a lawyer and writer currently based between berlin and new zealand, and you can keep in touch with me on twitter (@winningprotocol) and instagram (@winningprotocol) if you’d like to—please, please don’t send me dick pics there, though. i think i’ve had my fill of them forever. 

i don’t know what else to say! it’s the end of an era. it’s been an honour and a privilege to critique your dick pics. 

[killerbee131]

I think that the reason it's being mocked is because the intention was clearly to ban boobs, but they chose to use this weird (though widespread) euphemism to avoid using that particular word (since it's vulgar I guess?), and the linguistic nod toward progressive ideas of gender comes off as token and hollow in the context of the policy itself (as you pointed out).

Nipples themselves don't have that much sex variation, it's mostly what they're attached to that changes, so attributing any degree of gender presentation to nipples themselves is strange. Also, the grammar of "female-presenting nipples" is weird and ambiguous at best, and could be argued to be downright incorrect at worst.

In short, my opinion is that it's an extremely awkward attempt to say "nipples on boobs" without using the word "boob" and while attempting to not sound blatantly misogynistic or transphobic.

Another hot take

The thoroughly mocked “female presenting nipples” is an appropriate choice of phrasing.  You can’t say “female nipples” because what even is gender?  You can’t say “female identified nipples” because identity is not obvious in a photo and not relevant.  "Female presenting" refers to the intended external appearance, which is the meaning we want.  The problem is that this enlightened gender language is paired with an unenlightened and discriminatory policy.

[killerbee131]

Save The Blogs!

Okay, folks. So. Tumblr’s jumped the shark in a big way, and I’m not even just talking about indiscriminately blocking all “adult” content on a platform that IS, in fact, primarily 18+.

Many blogs, like the wonderful @blackkatmagic , that are not especially NSFW have vanished.

(And I for one LIKE being able to go to curated porn blogs run by actual people and have a chance of finding stuff to my taste, it was one of the things that kept me on this hellsite, but that’s another issue entirely.)

I know lots of people are talking about migrating, but none of us are sure to where yet. Pillowfort seems to be an option, some people are talking about Twitter. But for now, it’s a mess, and even if we knew where we were going, it’s often a huge process, and a lot of us have stuff on tumblr that ONLY exists there. One possible quick solution to save your blogs, both NSFW and personal, is to import it to WordPress. I found this solution through from frantic googling on how to save an entire blog, text posts an all. There are several apps for downloading all the pictures from a tumblr, (Plently for Windows, but only a few paid ones for mac, of which Tumbelog Picture Downloader is working for me so far) but this is the only solution I’ve seen so far that allows you to save EVERYTHING. I downloaded my NSFW blog in like 10 min. My regular blog, which is significantly larger, is in the process of importing, but I don’t anticipate any problems. I will, of course, update you if I have any.  

This tutorial I found worked really easily. http://quickguide (.) tumblr (.) com/post/39780378703/backing-up-your-tumblr-blog-to-wordpress

I put parenthesis around the .’s like we’re back in FF-Hell, just in case tumblr’s new thing about outgoing links kicks in. You know what to do.  To break it down, just in case:

 Sign up for a WordPress.com account at wordpress (.) com/start You’ll have to create an account, with your email, a username, and a password. They should send you a confirmation email immediately, check it, activate it, and you’re good to go. On the site, it will ask you for a site name. That page asks you a bunch of other information too, but you only have to fill out the site name.

Then you have to give your site a URL. If you’re lucky, your tumblr URL is still available, if not you’ll have to come up with another one, sorry.

It will tell you if that option is still available for free.

Then it will ask you to pick a plan. Free is really good enough, I swear.

Now you’re set up! You can import your tumblr! The only differences from the linked tutorial are that the Import button is now on the first level menu, not in tools.

Hit Import, then you have to follow the link for “other importers”  at the bottom, to find the option for Tumblr.

Then you’ll have to sign in with tumblr, using your normal tumblr credentials. You’ll be redirected there automatically. You’ll have to allow Wordpress permissions on your blog.

Then your blogs, including all your sideblogs, will show up in wordpress.

Hit import, wait a WHILE depending on the size of your blog, and you’re done!

ALSO!!

I made my NSFW blog private for now, since I don’t know WP’s policy on NSFW.

This means that to access it, someone has to have an account and request access. But hey, part of our problem on this hellsite has been people going places they aren’t wanted, so I don’t personally see this as a bad thing. They can send a request from the landing site on your blog, you get an email, click a link in the email, and PRESTO, they have access. To make it private, go to Settings > Reading > Site Visibility. Go back and check, it took me changing the setting twice for it to actually stick. tl;dr, you can import your entire blog to wordpress in just a few steps.  I’m going to tag the hell out of this, in no particular order. PLEASE reblog this and spread the word so people know it’s an option. If you’re having trouble, PM me, and I’m happy to help.

@gallusrostromegalus @kaciart @lena221bee @deadcatwithaflamethrower

@norcumi @deandraws @morn-art, @thebisexualmandalorian @kristsune @marloviandevil @punsbulletsandpointythings @protagonistically @cris-art @elfda @fish-ghost @godtierwonder @heartslogos @haekass @iesika @incogneat-oh @itispossibleihaveissues @jaegervega @jhaernyl @the-last-hair-bender @kleine-aster @latenightcornerstore @lectorel @medievalpoc @mgnemesi @me-ya-ri @myurbandream @peskylilcritter @cywscross ,@cheshiresense @varevare @victoriousscarf @whatsmeantobe @swpromptsandasks @gabriel4sam @stonefreeak @brighteyedbadwolf @pumpkin-lith @puzzleshipper @suzukiblu @myurbandream @lacefedora @jademerien

There are a whole bunch more, but that’s a start. Please reblog the hell out of this, so people are aware of this one simple option.

[killerbee131]

Flags

I have had 3 mineral posts flagged as adult content today. They contained a tourmaline, a muscovite, and a galena. On Friday I had 3 fossil posts flagged as adult content, including a fossil fish, a fossil tooth from a mastodon, and a Tyrannosaur vertebrae. I’ve submitted appeals for each. This has been getting worse over the past month, apparently most of geology content is now only for adults. 

[killerbee131]

I’m gonna keep doing this for as long as it takes.

[killerbee131]

Tumblr on December 17th...

[killerbee131]

You don’t say.

[killerbee131]

sometimes I’m like “my therapist doesn’t really tell me anything I don’t already know” but then I remember that I used to eat scrambled eggs every single morning because I hated them but I hated them less than I hate all other breakfast food on weekdays (don’t @ me waffles are a weekend food and they Do Not start me on a productive path) and my therapist said, “why not eat a lunch food?”

and I said, “explain”

and she said, “you know you’re allowed to eat whatever food you want in the morning. you are not bound by law to the traditional american breakfast.”

my father’s insurance pays a hundred dollars an hour for a woman to give me permission to eat a pb&j at six in the morning 

[killerbee131]

so i’m riding the elevator up to my apartment when the emergency phone in the elevator starts ringing 

and i just stand there for a second because this thing is like thirty years old and has never rung or even been used from what i know

but eventually i answer it thinking maybe something’s wrong with the elevator?? it’s an emergency phone it’s probably an emergency??? i dunno

except i shit you not it’s a telemarketer 

a telemarketer that’s as confused as i am when i finally interrupt him mid-spiel to inform him he has the wrong number and then interrupt him again to explain further that “uh, no, seriously, this is an elevator phone. i’m standing in an elevator. talking to you. on the emergency phone. i really think you got the wrong number”

“oh,” says telemarketer guy.

“yeah,” i say.

there’s some mutually-confused silence.

“so, this is my stop,” i say. “i gotta go.”

“oh,” says telemarketer guy.

“good luck,” i add, because telemarketer guy seems like he’s having an existential crisis. and then i hang up on him, because he’s having an existential crisis and won’t actually end the call, and because again i’m talking on an elevator emergency phone and, you know, this is my stop, i gotta go.

[killerbee131]

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