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killershark82remake · 6 months

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It was the final hour. Doomsday at their door, with only hours left before the world was consumed entirely and every last living thing was devoured right along with it.

Summoning the High King of the Infinite Realms was the only option left, and even then felt more like choosing a firing squad rather than a noose at the end of the day. Pariah Dark might - might - accept the task of destroying the foe they faced, but tmit would come at a cost that was near equal to doing nothing at all. Provided the tyrannical ruler simply didn't let them all die, an entire planet dead was an entire planet to add to his endless armies.

They had to try. Stupid and suicidal as it was.

Zantanna and John worked in silence as they created the summoning circle, hands shaking and stomachs cramping as they worked under the apprehensive eyes of the rest of the League. They all understood that no matter what happened, they would all likely end up dead by the end of it. That the best case scenario meant that death was only the beginning of their problems.

Candles were lit. Insense burned. Blood spilled. Words spoken.

Nothing.

It failed, not so much as a flicker of magic. Which was impossible, they'd checked and confirmed a dozen times that they had the right ritual, that they were following the steps, they had done everything right way wasn't it working? What had they done wr-

"Ugh, gross is that blood?"

Elle Phantom, fifteen minuted late to the site of the ritual with both the boys Super, the most murderous Robin and a sugary abomination of an iced coffee from Starbucks, scrunched her nose in disgust as she looked at the summoning circle.

"This ritual is so out of date, where did you even find it? Wait is that Latin? Who tries to summon someone from the Ghost Zone in Latin?"

John had burned through every drop of alcohol and cigarette he owned hours ago while trying to find this bloody damn ritual and was very much not in the mood for the little hellspawn's color commentary on the process.

"I don't bloody well seeing you providing with any alternatives for summoning the Ghost King." He swore, turning away from the gremlin to tear through the ancient book he and Zantanna had discovered with the ritual inside.

There was a loud slurping noise as the undead hero sucked the last remnants of her drink through the straw. John's brow twitched, even Zantanna - who usually seemed endeared by the chaos goblin - looked at the end of her rope.

Then - "Oh, is that who you wanted to summon? Why didn't you say so?" She drifted over, handing her empty drink off to a disgruntled looking Batman, and began rummaging through the unused magival supplies left over from the - failed - summoning circle. "Here, give me like, five minutes."

John was fairly certain his head was about to explode.

"You know how to summon the Ghost King? You?"

Phantom rolled her eyes at him. "Duh, obviously."

"Obviously." Zantanna repeated, looking like she was half a moment away from having a breakdown. She didn't try to stop the ghostly girl, though, and to be fair neither was John. They were already fucked, might as well let the gremlin try her hand at it.

It took less than the five minutes Phantom had claimed she needed.

When she was done there was a significantly smaller circle on the ground. At the cardinal directions of the circle, written clockwise she'd drawn not any magical runes but instead what appeared to be the Roman Numerals for one, then two, then something akin to a sideways T with an additional mark rising upward from the long horizontal bar, then the letter L.

It had to have some kind of ancient magical significance John didn't know as Shazam made a noise like a dying goose and squeaked out the word Loss like it was a question. Phantom gave the Champion of Magic a sharp toothed grin before adding some words in a language John didn't know before she finally allowed gravity to pull her back to earth and plant her feet on the ground.

She wiped her hands together a bit dramatically, looking pleased with herself, but at that point John didn't care. He could feel the building magic, heavy and oppressive as she had begun her task. Unlike the circle he and Zantanna had attempted, this one was working.

He couldn't help thr nervous swallow he gave as Phantom then declared, with a strange amount of seriousness. "All that’s left are the words."

She took a deep breath, eyes closing for a moment, and the world went utterly silent around them. This, John could feel, this was the real deal. Fuck him sideways the hellspawn was actually doing it.

Phantom's eyes opened, glowing with that bright eerie green light of her power. Another deep breath and then -

"You are my dad! You're my dad!" He watched, any scraps of hope she'd instilled in him dying an undignified death as she gave a terrible little wiggle dance while she sang(?) Off key, "Boogie woogie woogie!"

Every last person on Earth was going to die and one of John's last moments was going to be spent watching the little undead shit do the Macarena. Well fuck him, he guessed.

Then there was the sound of the veil between the world's tearing in two and the fucking Ghost King was standing in Phantom's summoning circle screaming in a screeching falsetto:

"When will you learn? When will you learn that your actions have consequences!"

You know what actually at this point John would rather the apocalypse kill him.

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killershark82remake · 6 months

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Danny's New Duds

Danny hovered outside the massive nest of web and rock that constituted the lair of the Divine Spider. He didn’t like the idea of going into a spider’s web, but Clockwork had told him this was where he needed to go. Though that was likely to get a bored Danny out of the clock tower; Danny only being there to avoid his parent’s new ghost hunting invention and not because he had a time quest or anything.

Danny had asked Clockwork how Vlad had changed his clothes. Thanks to one of said time quests, Danny had seen what Vlad was wearing when he first became a half-ghost and that wasn’t what he was wearing now, so he had to have changed it somehow. Made it worse, in Danny's opinion.

Clockwork seemed to consider what to tell him, but ultimately said, “He probably went to the Divine Spider. She’s the one who originally made the royal garb of The Ghost King.”

So, Danny took the map of the Infinite Realms and found the lair of the Divine Spider to see if she would be willing to make him a new costume. There was nothing wrong with his old jumpsuit, but it was built to lower the risk of ecto-contamination, not fight crime in.

He cautiously floated into the cave, careful to avoid touching any of the webbing, but he didn’t want to surprise the ghost he was there to meet, so he called out, “Hello? Miss Divine Spider?”

He saw movement from the back of the cave, but as he got closer it changed from a terrifying web-cave into what looked like the inside of an apartment. A couch that was big and comfy looking, a table with a few chairs around it, a flat-screen TV mounted on the wall… Danny could barely believe what he was seeing. He floated past a book shelf filled with anime DVDs, manga, and figurine dolls. There was a matching one on the opposite wall filled with American movies, comic books, and action figures.

“Uh, hello?”

Suddenly, there was movement and a door opened. There stood a creature that looked like a centaur, except instead of a human torso attached to a horse body, it was a human torso sticking up out of a spider where it’s head should have been. The spider was covered in fine white fur, and it’s two most front legs look more like metal scythes than a spider’s legs. The human body sticking out of it looked like a young woman, with long white hair and pale skin and her eyes glowed a ghostly pink. Her human half did wear a lovely white dress that used patterns and 3D sewing to add design, depth, and detail.

“Hello,” She said quietly, her eyes scrutinizing Danny as an intruder to her lair.

Danny swallowed down his discomfort at the spindly creature before him and forced a smile while he said, “Hi, I’m Danny Phantom, and I heard you can make ghost clothes?”

The spider woman immediately lit up with a huge smile on her face, and her entire posture and presence changed. “Oh! Yes, I love making all kinds of clothes and costumes, especially cosplay! I love making outfits based on my favorite movies and anime. I actually just finished making a Madoka Magica cosplay.”

The spider woman quickly ducked back into the room she had been in but quickly stuck her head back out and said, “Oh, I forgot to say, I’m Kumoko! And It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Danny said as she vanished behind a closed door.

She then came out with a new dress on, a perfect replica of the main character’s puffy magical girl dress. She gave him a twirl as she excitedly explained, “Isn’t it perfect? Though, I did think about making a Homura cosplay first, she’s tied for my favorite character, but pink is my favorite color.”

Danny grinned. Oh, this horrible monster was a total geek. “It looks amazing!”

She blushed at the compliment then asked, “Did you come here for cosplay?”

“I’m afraid not,” Danny said, rubbing the back of his neck. “But I am hoping to get some cool clothes.”

“Oh, what did you have in mind?”

“Well, I’m a hero,” Danny said while motioning at his current outfit, “but my jumpsuit just isn't made for it; it'll tear at the slightest bit of friction. And look at how formfitting it is. I guess that can be good because it means it doesn’t get caught on things, except that it does get caught on things, all the time, and it always tears from that too.”

“It’s also pretty plain,” Kumoko added.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No, but it’s not doing you any favors with the formfitting thing,” She said and started to circle Danny, her scythe legs coming off the ground and poking at his jumpsuit. “And it’s not like you have a lot of muscles to show off either.”

Danny huffed at her bluntness, “I guess I don’t mind it too much, but it would be nice to leave that kind of thing up to the imagination.”

She smiled and started waving her hands in a circles in the air, shimmering white strands of silk started to form a small doll that looked exactly like Danny, changing color to match his hair, skin, suit, and eyes. “So, the black and white color scheme is good for hiding in the shadows and catching bad guys, but how about we add some lines down the sides like this to break up the big black sections.”

The doll’s clothes changed as she explained, like it was responding to what she was thinking. “And you should have an actual utility belt instead of just a waistline reinforcement … and we should add some reinforcements around the knees and elbows, I think they should still be black, but if we want to break up the arms we can ... some thicker soled boots with more ankle support too … and- was this supposed to have a hood? That might be useful if you’re fighting in the rain or trying to hide your face... do you want to add a mask... Oh, but if we make your sigil green, it would really pop and people would recognize it! Like the bat-signal!”

They spent several more minutes talking about what would look good, what would be useful, and what would make good branding for marketing deals. And at the end of it, the spider woman handed Danny the little doll of himself and said, “I think is going to look great when you’re done with it!”

Danny looked at the doll, “When I’m done with it?”

“Yeah, you said it wasn’t cosplay right? That you want it to be your default and not a costume?”

Danny nodded, “But, I don’t know how to sew or anything.”

“Oh, do you not know how to change them yourself?” Kumoko asked and Danny shook his head. “I thought you just came to get some design advice! Okay, but you can definitely change your own clothes. You have to focus on the design you want, which you can use the doll as a reference for, and the ectoplasm that makes your current clothes will change into the new shape you want!”

“What? Really? Is it really that easy?”

“Well, some people find it easy, it can take a long time to get it right tough. Most people just prefer to keep their death clothes or have me make new clothes for them.”

Danny nodded, “I was hoping for you to make them.”

Kumoko gave a bright smile. “Okay! What did you bring for payment?”

“Uh…”

“You weren’t going to make me work for free, were you?”

“No, I didn’t think you were going to work for me at all, actually,” Danny said then sighed, “But, if we treat this like a consultation, how much would it cost to have this hero-suit made for me?”

Kumoko hummed and reexamined the doll, “At least a dozen high quality chocolate bars.”

Danny stared at her, “Chocolate bars?”

Kumoko nodded, “High Quality Chocolate Bars, or maybe some chocolate and some cookies. High quality cookies, of course. Or a strawberry cake, I haven’t had one of those in so long.”

Danny laughed, “Alright, I make the request for you to make the suit now, but you don't have to start it until I’ve given you enough sweets. How does that sound?”

"Since your hero reputation is on the line, I'll start working on it right away and you can pay when it's done." Kumoko held out her hand, “Make it a deal.”

>>><<<

Danny wasn’t sure how long it would take Kumoko to make the clothes he wanted, and he forgot to ask her too. So, he decided to play it safe, give her two weeks, and if that wasn’t enough time, he’d give her a "down payment" and ask how long it would take after that.

So, there he was again, floating into the web-cave of The Divine Spider, this time with a bright pink cake box. “Hello? Miss Kumoko?”

The door in the back opened and the spider woman stepped out, seemingly surprised to see him, “Danny! I thought you forgot about me!”

“Of course not, how could I forget about you?”

“It’s been two weeks! I also thought you might have been scared off by last time.”

Danny rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah, I wasn’t sure how long it would take to make the hero-suit and I didn’t want to bother you while you were working on it, so I just… waited to come see you again.”

Kumoko nodded thoughtfully, “I should have told you it doesn’t take long at all for me to make stuff with my silk. I only needed a few hours, I do have eight legs and two hands that can work at the same time after all.”

“Really, just a couple hours?”

Kumoko nodded then ducked back into the back room for a moment then coming back with some folded clothes and some accessories. “I did have to go get some materials for the non-cloth bits, but I think it was worth it just to see how cool it is!”

She handed it to him and watched expectantly as he examined each piece of clothing. “Wow, Kumoko, this is amazing!”

“So, I put the hood on a jacket so that if someone tries to grab it, you can just slide it off,” Kumoko said taking and showing off the jacket, “It’s also got your sigil on it! I hope you don’t mind, I did put your sigil on each separate piece. So everyone will know that if it has that symbol it’s yours, or if someone has it, they’re your friend. And For branding! maybe - you could do some merchandising… maybe give your designer a cut.”

"I don't know how to do that, but I can look into it."

"So what you're saying is," Kumoko pointed at herself, "you need a branding manager."

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killershark82remake · 6 months

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You Can Only Be So Creepy Before I Embarrass You

Danny Phantom x So, I'm a Spider So What?

Squeal to Danny's New Duds

Summary: Kumoko is a terrifying and creepy spider-ghost chilling in the Ghost Zone who enjoys making cosplay, being edgy, and sweets. Danny asks her for some new clothes and she's happy to fulfill his request in exchange for some cookies.

Rated: G for General Audiences

Danny floated into The Spider’s Den holding a styrofoam box. He landed in the clear space in the center of the mass of web and rock that looked exactly like the main room inside of an apartment. There was a living room section with a TV, couch, and more DVDs than it seemed possible to watch and the tastefully balanced display cases of Anime and Cartoon memorabilia. And there was a kitchen section with a full stove top but separate smaller oven, running water, and a table just big enough for three people. It shown with electric light and the display cases had spotlights on them.

“You’re here!” An excited voice cried out and a large creature with the body of a young woman attached at the waist to a giant spider’s body where its head should be. “Is that the payment for the new outfit?”

“Hey Kumoko! Yeah, this is for you, but, uh,” Danny said, but awkwardly backed up a step and rubbed the back of his neck, “It’ll be a first installment - I couldn’t get money from my parents to get any fancy cakes or anything, so I asked my sister for her chocolate chip cookie recipe, and she help me make these.”

Danny held the box out for her to take and he heard her mumbling something to herself. He looked back at her and held in a laugh because she didn’t know he could hear her talking to herself.

Her hands reached out shakily to take the box from him. “Oh my gosh! A boy made me homemade cookies! He asked his sister to help! He went through so much effort. AND They’re still warm! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!”

“Go on, take it,” Danny said and practically dropped the box in her hands, she squeaked in response.

She lifted her two front, scythe-like legs and folded them over each other to make a flat surface to set the box on. She opened it slowly and Danny could practically see the anime effects: the cookies glowing like gold treasure, the exaggerated drop of drool, the anime blush. She reached in reverently and gently lifted a cookie with her two hands, slowly raising it to her face; Danny wondered just how long she was going to drag this out. She finally took a bite that took up half the cookie. She squealed again and Danny could see the anime stars in her eyes. She quickly twirled on one back leg, miraculously keeping the box balanced on her folded front legs.

“This is so good!” She said as she started stuffing the rest of the cookie in her mouth. And then another cookie, and another and-

Danny smiled and nodded, “I’m glad you like the-”

“AH!” She screamed and slammed the box shut.

“What? Was one burnt or-”

“No-o!” She whined, “I’ve already eaten half of them! I need to save at least some of them!”

Danny chuckled as she moved to the kitchen part of her little home and put the cookies in a cupboard. Danny reassured her, “I mean, they’re not top quality like you requested, so I do owe you more of them. Quantity to make up for quality.”

She looked at him with puppy eyes, “Yes, but first! You’re new clothes!”

She went to the backroom and came out with a small pile of folded clothes. She set them on her folded legs like she had the box of cookies, and held up each item on it’s own to show it off.

“First, is the base shirt.” She held up what looked like a plain white shirt, but if you look at it from inches away, you could see some impossibly thin lines of shining silk mixed into the main cotton-texture. She moved it slowly under a spotlight and Danny saw that the shining parts formed a floral pattern, rose shaped flowers with thick leaves and vines filling the space between them.

“Woah, that's amazing!” Danny said as she handed him the shirt and he moved it under the lights himself.

“Next, is the suit vest! You’ll put this on top of the shirt and the tie.” She held up the vest. It was black with intricate silk embroidery, lace-thin green lines formed overlapping octagonal spiderwebs with random patches of green silk in simplified bat shapes. There were two silver buttons that connected perfectly into holes lined with the spiderweb pattern. The back was a separate piece of green cloth, having a single octagonal spiderweb with a bat in the center in green embroidery.

“Kumoko…” Danny stared at her

She looked at him nervously and showed Danny the sides of the vest, "I used two adjustment straps on the sides of the waist instead of one in the center of the back so it wouldn't obstruct the pattern as much."

Danny fixed her with a hard look, “You haven’t been writing vampire fanfiction about me again, have you?”

“Of course not!” She said, too quick and loud. She shoved the vest into Danny’s hands and then held up the next piece. “I’m really proud of the jacket and trousers!”

She held up the jacket and, true to her pride, it was pretty magnificent. Just like the shirt and vest, it was way more detailed than it needed to be. It was black with colored silk embroidery that turned black halfway up the torso and sleeves, going from obviously visible to almost invisible. The pattern was interesting, starting as beautiful green grass and red rose-like flowers at the bottom, losing the red and turning into pure green leafy vines that transformed into black spiderwebs with little half-green bats that faded into full black around the shoulders. The pants matched the pattern, red and green at the bottom, black and green in the middle, then black at the top, roses, webs, and bats. The inside lining of the jacket was almost inverse of the outside. A green base fabric with thin black, lace-like embroidery of spiderwebs with roses and bats caught in them.

“Really going with the creepy factor on these, huh?” Danny commented and Kumoko mimicked his habit of rubbing the back of his neck to avoid awkward eye-contact.

“Well, these ones aren’t that bad,” She said, handing Danny the accessories she’d made to go with the suit. There was a tie and pocket handkerchief that both had the floral rose lace-like stitching in white though.

Danny smiled and nodded, “This is – honestly probably way too fancy for Vlad’s party, so exactly what I asked for. He's not going to believe it when I show up better dressed than him - I mean, it’s just so detailed and cool.”

Kumoko blushed at his comments. “I know they’ll fit perfectly, but if you want to try them on you can.” She motioned to the back room for Danny to change in.

“I think I will!” Danny flew into the room so he wouldn’t have to navigate walking around Kumoko’s body.

It was a pretty spacious bedroom. The bed itself was massive, big enough for not just the giant spider body of Kumoko, but her and two other hers. Danny could also see into her open “closet”, but that wasn’t fully accurate. It alone was bigger than the apartment part of her lair and the bedroom part put together. Not only was it full of clothes and cosplay, wigs and accessories, jewelry and… shoes despite her lack of actual feet, but there were also several mannequins.

Danny didn’t really mind the one in there that looked like him with a white short-hair wig on it, with a black wig on a separate head on a table next to it, and its really accurate facial features with his green eyes and a pair of apparently interchangeable blue eyes next to the black wig (she did make clothes for him so she’d need to know what they’d look like on him, we can excuse all that), but he did mind when some of the other mannequins turned their heads so their eyeless and half-finished faces were staring at him.

He closed that door.

He changed into the suit quickly, but just as he was about to give up on tying the tie and folding the pocket square-thing, he noticed a desk with an open laptop. He couldn’t help himself, in a (spider)girl’s room, alone, with her private laptop unsupervised. He walked over to it and pressed the space key. The screen lit up, showing a word document, and after a quick scan, Danny was grinning like a mad man.

He burst through the door and shouted as he read the first lines of Kumoko’s work. “’My name is Hiiro Wakaba. I have long black hair and dark eyes. That guy over there with black hair and blue eyes is Danny Fenton, and it might not look it, but we’re best friends! We’re just your average high school students!’”

“No!!!!!” Kumoko cried, her hands covering her blushing face.

“’Well, we’re not really normal high school students. We’re both Vampires!’ I knew it! You were writing vampire fanfics about me!” Danny shouted and watched as Kumoko threw herself on the floor before he continued. “’Every night we have a super cool vampire transformation and we have to fight evil vampires to stop them from taking over the world!’”

“No! Please Danny, I’m sorry! I won’t do it again,” She pleaded and writhed on the floor like she was being tortured.

“Alright, but this is your last warning,” Danny said, closing her laptop. “If you don’t want me reading it, don’t write it. Or at least hide it better.”

Kumoko sat up on the floor and rubbed exaggerated tears from her eyes. “I was just having fun!”

“You can have fun, but you’re not following the biggest rule of storytelling,” Danny said, “You can’t just say we’re friends, you gotta show it!”

“I wanted to get to all the exciting stuff though!” Kumoko said and Danny rolled his eyes.

“Here, let’s watch something that knows how to tell a good story,” Danny said, going over to one of the many DVD shelves in the room. He pulled out the Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood complete series limited edition box set, “How about this?”

Kumoko jumped to her feet, “YES! We can binge the whole thing in - Well, we can finish it when you bring me more cookies - I’ll make some popcorn!”

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killershark82remake · 6 months

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I think there should be a So I'm A Spider So What Rattatouille au

She just want to eat and also being shown to want to make tasty food

Let her.

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killershark82remake · 6 months

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So I'm a spider so what is so real for having an enemy nation deem a spider THATS LITERALLY PERFORMING HEALING MIRACLES a demon for political gain. This bitch out here curing cancer and some fuck off lords decided she's the perfect political plot peasants be damned.

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killershark82remake · 6 months

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I think the funniest dynamic for arranged-marriage royalty would be a queen who came here 100% prepared to murder her future husband and rule as a widow queen in her own right, only to discover that the king is autistic as hell and responds to her wish to rule with "oh thank god please do, I don't want to be bothered by these people. I can just tell them to go bother you instead, if you really want that. I've got beetles I wanted to study."

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killershark82remake · 6 months

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the latest hyperfixation, everyone

ok so,

now that I have mostly calmed down from the rage at technology, here is what I was trying to post yesterday:

Okay so I've seen He-man before right? I did not really like it all that much. I tried the earliest versions, didn't like it. I saw the 2002 series and thought it was okay. I saw the anime looking one from 2021 and thought it was funny (Mark Hamill you genius). and I've seen she-ra the reboot (gay as hell my favorite fuck yea) and tried the og series for that too.

now when I looked at the 3d looking animated one you would think "you wouldn't get into it if the others didn't do it for you" and normally you would be right.

I really do hate the way he-man looks

just

the disproportionate body I hate it so much. his arms are way too buff and his legs far to skinny to be capable of supporting an upper body mass that insane.

I do not like it.

BUT

but

I surprised myself because despite that I did end up liking it because of the storyline.

like who came up with this? oh my god? it perfect?

Adam is related to skeletor, skeletor at first is a Twink with a cursed bone hand (mozenrath looking fucker) then when he gets even more cursed he somehow buffs out and loses more skin? like how does that work?

Adam has memory loss and has been missing for ten years. the second he learns he's royalty he's like 'hell no I don't want shit to do with that' hes so real for that honestly.

cringer is like his dad? he has an adopted sister who is also cringer's other child?

cringer not having his claws because they were stolen by a poacher because he refused to fight to the death in his slave fighting rings? Cringer keeping the name cringer because he finds strength in what he did? there's a slavery recovery arc going on there and I love it.

cringer calling Adam and krass his cubs? omg?

randor grieving still years later and not being the best king? him learning Adam is alive? him following teela to the underground and learning about people he didn't know existed or that he was unintentionally neglecting? seeing everything that slipped through the cracks? him trying to change to do better by his people? god tier.

everyone in the group is adorable and doing their best.

the dynamic between everyone is hilarious. especially skeletor and adam

also it is not a secret to skeletor to random that Adam is he-man. I find that an interesting choice and they make it work.

besides the disproportionate he-man, my only complaint is that they kept jumping from arc to arc, it was too fast paced and tried to fit so much that it felt like some storylines came out of nowhere. each season only had like 8 episodes each so they were trying to fit it all in. if they had the normal season if maybe 20-25 episodes they could have fixed their pacing and resolved arcs and storylines better and gone more in depth with their characters.

that said for the time they did have they did great with their characters.

#I feel like a critic #but that's okay #he-man 2002 #she-ra #he-man 2021 anime looking one #he-man 2021 3d animated one #I love this take on the story #its so interesting #if you got the mozenrath reference your a real one

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