kingscrown666

[kingscrown666]

Petoskey Stones

fossilized coral that lived 350 million years ago - the rocks rounded in the surf along the shore of Lake Michigan near Petosky, Michigan.

[kingscrown666]

Was drunk and bored and getting annoyed at the ridiculous coverage of the US election so I decided to fix the place.

I'm from Australia where we only have 7 states, as such I have the (objectively correct) opinion that 50 is too many states, so I decided to cut it down to 10.

A few notes on my improved US map:

•Despite Illinois making the cut, Chicago is now in Michigan, due to the state getting the entire bank of its namesake.

•Boston is also in Michigan due to special exception.

•New York is now the capital of Pensylvania

•Yes that's how you spell Pensylvania

•The border of California is just roughly the Rockies, no need to overthink it.

•Making Florida bigger actually dilutes it's power, but Texas must be abolished

•Colorado should still be a rectangle, that's my mistake, I just couldn't be bothered fixing it.

•Alaska has been returned to Canada with a hand written apology

•All the random ass islands that the US forgot to pretend they didn't colonise have gained independence

Please let me know if there are any more improvements you can think of.

Edit: As a number of you have mentioned, Alaska never belonged to Canada, and giving it to them would be incredibly wrong when the native people have been trying to gain independence all this time.

Luckily, the apology note got lost in the mail in all the turmoil, so Canada never realised they're meant to have Alaska now. The Alaskans just start quietly self-governing and hoping the US and Canada don't notice, then after a few years they declare independence.

[kingscrown666]

Okay the WEIRDEST THING is going going down right now

So some guy in Michigan in the US has just found a letter in his grandmother’s house; it seems to be a pen pal letter from 1973ish, and it’s from a young Welsh girl. In it, she lists:

Her name, and the names of her brother (Gwynedd) and sister (Catrin)

Their ages

Where she lives in Wales (Denbigh)

Her hobbies, including horse riding and reading pony books.

So this American dude decides to take a photo, whack it on Twitter and ask the only Welsh person he knows if there’s any way to track this Welsh girl down, because you know, ALL WELSH PEOPLE KNOW EACH OTHER, OBVIOUSLY

Except

I am furious to report that it has worked

Welsh person he tags doesn’t know, but takes up the challenge. Someone reckons the Catrin might be a woman who translated a hymn book once, and checks the foreword to see that the dates and ages do seem to be about right. Someone else suddenly has a brainwave - wait, isn’t she the mother of Steff, the comedian?

My husband gets tagged, takes one look at this letter, and is like “That is 1000% my aunt.”

So now it’s 20 to midnight, Steff’s aunt has obviously not yet seen the excited message to put Twitter out of their misery, and my mother-in-law is currently on the phone gleefully telling us that when that letter was written her sister had never sat on a horse in her life before, and she’d lied to an American pen pal for clout before the internet even existed.

[kingscrown666]

we need to be doing everything in our power to acquire and consume tiramisu

[kingscrown666]

We NEED to abolish the terms “women’s/men’s” healthcare like yesterday. No more gendered terms for ungendered organs and systems that allow for denial of care via language. Women need prostate exams. Men need prenatal care. Anyone and everyone can require a breast cancer screening. And no, changing the terminology to “AFAB/AMAB” healthcare is also unacceptable because it excludes the needs of intersex people and perisex trans people who have medically transitioned. Refuse to tolerate it anymore.

[kingscrown666]

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[kingscrown666]

Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]

[kingscrown666]

My tummy hates me.

[kingscrown666]

Can I please come over and look at all your stuff in your room

[kingscrown666]

guys look I'm drawing something other than batman!!

also my first time drawing Diana what do you think?

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

[kingscrown666]

gamers who spam through tutorial instructions or skip cutscenes and then complain that the gameplay is frustratingly unintuitive or that the story sucks are equivalent to those online cooking weirdos where they substitute carrots for chocolate and then complain to the author of the article that the recipe is a failure. bestie perhaps look inwards

[kingscrown666]

Ngl I totally forgot fandom discourse was a thing. I don’t care man, I have car payments

[kingscrown666]

Neighbour's cat (not Diesel) ran up to me to rub on me but was aggressively hissing at me the whole time. Buddy this was YOUR plan.

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[kingscrown666]