kinlochbabe

[kinlochbabe]

• They will all die. Every templar, every holy sister who stands in the way of our freedom will die in agony and their deaths will be our fuel. We will have justice. We will have vengeance. •

[kinlochbabe]

over time

the red in the last one’s braid is for hawke :) handers everywhere..

[kinlochbabe]

i can't find that one really good post about the differences in fenris' hatred for anders (dismissive) vs merrill (pure vitriol) and how it relates to his idolization of family ties, but once you see it it's hard to ignore

forget slavers, blue wraith should have had him hunting down deadbeat dads or something

[kinlochbabe]

Once again im thinking about Anders and how he knew the gravity of his actions and how the guilt was eating him alive, even before he did it, but he knew something had to be done and the stakes were so high at that point and there was no other way

And over and over he tells Hawke they should leave him but at the same time never actually cuts them off himself because he wants to be with them so much but he also knows he's going to betray their trust and break their heart, but he also loves and wants to be loved and he just does it all wrong and in the end he offers himself up to the blade, offers to die at their hands to make amends

He's doomed. He knows he's doomed.

But he has so much hope. He doesnt ever cut them off or leave them because he HOPES they will still love him

He expects to die at the hand of his lover for his actions. He expects them to kill him

You hit act 3 and this man is ready to die. He's ready to become the monster and the martyr and have everyone he loves hate him but he's got to do something, anything, to get things to change

But in the end, he still has hope that he can come back from this. He could've cut everyone off and distanced himself so it would've hurt less, but he doesn't. Maybe because he's selfish. Maybe because he hopes beyond hope that maybe things will be okay. He hopes that the future will be better. Even when he's sure he won't be a part of it.

Ugh

Anyways something something that one post comparing Anders to Andraste and shit

[kinlochbabe]

Hello, Ser Pounce-a-lot! Still intact, I see?

[kinlochbabe]

a lap nap wouldn't have saved them, but it wouldn't have hurt them either

This is the part where I add an unrelated rant to propagandize my ships. I hate when ppl genuinely believe that Anders hated Merrill. He hated her blood magic. Anders himself cared for Merrill and genuinely wanted the best for her, but he went about it terribly by tormenting her for her choices. He saw the worst of himself in Merrill and projected onto her, trying to fix what he could not in himself. He had merged physically with justice, so it was too far for him, but maybe he could at least save Merrill. When he evidently couldn't, those feelings culminated as frustration which ppl confuse for dislike, and that just isn't the full picture. I think Merrill saw her worst parts in Anders as well; Someone who would give everything, even themselves, to their cause. Merrill, who only realized how far she'd gone and lost when Marethari had died, watched as Anders spiraled down a very similar path and could do nothing about it. They understand eachother to a complicated degree, which is why Anders comes off as hating Merrill and why Merrill is his biggest defender. Boiling down their relationship to 'Anders hates her because she's a blood mage' is a shame because their actual relationship is so much more tragic and fascinating.

[kinlochbabe]

I just saw multiple people mention that Anders at one point committed cannibalism? I have no idea where that came from and never heard it before, but I also haven't read any of the stories/comics outside of the games. If you happen to know what that's referring to I'd appreciate it!

In the short story simply titled 'Anders' by Hepler, published by BioWare in promo for DA2:

And then his sword is level with my chest, and I let it come, because it is only steel and cannot hurt me, for I am not of mortal men. And when it sinks hilt-deep in my flesh with no reaction, that's when he gives up. He turns and runs, and from behind, I tear his head off at the neck, no magic, just me, whatever that is now. His blood splashes into my open mouth and it tastes like honeyed wine and the warmth spreads through me. He hated me, and he is dead. He feared me, and he is dead. He hunted me, and he is dead. They will all die. Every templar, every holy sister who stands in the way of our freedom will die in agony and their deaths will be our fuel. We will have justice. We will have vengeance. And suddenly I'm alone, standing in a burning forest, with the bodies of templars and wardens at my feet. So many, and I didn't even know they were there. Didn't even know I had killed them, but the evidence is all around me. Not the aftermath of a battle as I've known it, but a bloody abattoir of rent limbs and torn and eaten flesh.

[kinlochbabe]

Justice watching Anders jerk off for the first time: Why are you trying to tug that limb off this is scary

I CANT BE LAUGHING LIKE THIS AT WORK

[kinlochbabe]

the chantry raises literal children to be faithful soldiers and part of being faithful is believing that sexual desire is bad and corrupting, and the other part is believing that mages are always acceptable targets for violence because they're always potential threats, and they are always potential threats because any mage could use their foul powers to twist your mind and seduce you. thus the only acceptable outlet for your evil sexual desires is the witch who you are always allowed to use violence against to force compliance, and who can always be blamed for having tempted you into it in the first place, and you swore no vow of celibacy, so you will never be meaningfully punished and you will never have to feel guilty about it. the canonical promiscuous mage stereotype is so fucking crazyyyyyy. can anybody hear me

[kinlochbabe]

One thing that fascinates me about Solas in Inquisition is that he does a terrible and deeply hurtful thing to the Inquisitor and all of his friends in the Inquisition; but he does it before he actually meets them.

He gives the orb to Corypheus long before he knows of any of these people, then decides to join forces with the Inquisition before most of them have shown up. And once it's done, he is essentially locked in. He can't possibly tell anyone in the Inquisition that he's responsible for everything that's happened at the Conclave and since; they would most likely kill him, or at least immediately expel him from the Inquisition. He really has no choice but to continue the deception. Maybe there's a window in which he could have told the Inquisitor, in the case of an extremely understanding and forgiving Inquisitor, but even for the very kindest of Inquisitors that would be a lot to accept.

So he's in this situation. When he first came to the Inquisition, deceiving them probably didn't seem like a particularly bad thing to do. It was a group of fervent Andrastians, followers of a religion that has committed atrocities against his people again and again. Why should he feel bad about lying to them?

But then - he starts getting to know people. He starts to make friends with them, to care for them. Maybe even to develop a romantic connection with the Inquisitor. And slowly he starts to recognise that he's doing a terrible thing to them, but he can't get out of it. There's nothing he could possibly do at this point other than simply run away, and he can't do that either because he has to stick it out to defeat Corypheus.

Every day he gets closer to them, what he's doing becomes worse. And yet the closer he gets to them, the more impossible it is to tell the truth, because the closer the friendships the more painful the betrayal. It's so fascinating and poignant to think of him stuck in this terrible cycle of steadily increasing guilt and shame and the knowledge that there's nothing he can do to make it right. You can see it in him, after the Temple of Mythal: he's increasingly spiralling and panicking and he just doesn't know how to extract himself gracefully from the situation he's created. This is a terrible thing he's done to his friends, but he did it before they were his friends and really there was no point at which he could have stopped it after that.

[kinlochbabe]

Ocean Soul

[kinlochbabe]

Hawke and Isabela for @lonedeewolf

Commission info / My email:  heathwindart@gmail.com

[kinlochbabe]

am I sick in the head or is senechal varel kind of irresistible? feel free to comment

[kinlochbabe]

hi I saw your sketch requests, and was wondering if you've ever drawn fenris x anders? i feel like you portray the combination of hurt and love so well that they would be a perfect pairing for your work!

Thanks! I think if I weren’t so loyal to handerses, I’d ship them. I love that they’re two sides of the same coin. And their banters ohhh... they don’t write dialogue like this in games anymore :c

[kinlochbabe]

Duncan recruits Surana/Amell to save them from the Circle, who recruits Anders to save him from the Circle, who recruits Bethany to save her from the darkspawn, which she only faced in an attempt to avoid the Circle

[kinlochbabe]

origins au where the warden dies of their injuries in flemeth’s hut after ostagar. and flemeth sees that the existence of a buddy grey warden was extremely emotionally load-bearing for the one she did manage to save so she puts a spirit in the warden’s corpse and drags them out with the exact same you worry too much young man! look, they’re fine! spiel

[kinlochbabe]

Zevran in different parts of his life .. I love him