kittycalendar

[kittycalendar]

Nov 3rd

Weather today is brisk dry and beautiful. Most beautiful and vibrant fall foliage. Had a blessed and beautiful day at work.

Still afraid in the back of my mind of being poisoned.

Currently, sitting outside of my work and a woman who comes in a lot (seems to live in the attached apartment) is pacing around letting out frustrated sighs. A car pulled up and she yelled at the driver while pointing and the driver drove away. She just got into a different car. I know her name is Blaire but she doesn’t know me. Waiting for eve to pick me up.

[kittycalendar]

What if your debilitating phobia or the cycle you can’t help but perpetuate or your so-called integral flaws were just a dream…? Imagine how it would feel to wake up and feel the relief of that not being your reality wash over you? What if you were off the hook? Oh wow it would suck to be stuck in a self fulfilling prophecy. Thank goodness I’m not. You can do this in real life… you don’t have to just imagine it

[kittycalendar]

August 21

Sitting on my filthy floor being bitten by ants but not caring enough to move.. had a good morning now feeling nauseous.. flossed and the plaque literally smelled like feces .. cardigan coming along nicely but my hands hurt .. feeling pretty today

GRATITUDES

My day off yippee

I’m so epic

I have actually a lot of friends if you think about it..

Didn’t wake up in the middle of the night

I love my wardrobe and possessions

Lots of craft supplies

My apartment and neighborhood are beautiful..

Images

Wtf coffee shop bathroom, snake, little guy

[kittycalendar]

august 20

reasons i am killing myself: new coworker of my girlfriends that is flirting with her in a charming and adorable way. she is gushing to me in a trusting "of course this doesnt mean anything to me" way. but it makes me nauseous. but i cant say anything because jealousy is ugly on me .. not even worried about anything happening at all i just dont want to feel nauseous without warning. it gives me a debuff for two hours at every mention of this person. they fucking DREW a portrait of her. bleh dies bleh x_x

serving EVERY DAY next week. leaving my shift at midnight-1:30.. i tried to tell them to keep me on host i really did period coming soon... makes me want to cry all the time..

my favorite friends besides my girlfirend live two hours away and one of them is moving to another continent and i dont get to see her because im working every day.. LONELY. and puts me at high risk of dependency on the one person who is accessible to me reasons i am NOT killing myself:

two adorable walkable jobs.. kind of awesome.. making lots of cash moneys

girlfriend that loves me even if receiving her love feels like nothing right now because im overcome with jealousy

i actually have a period now instead of being too sick to be physically capable of reproduction

lots of yummy protein today :3

every article of clothing on my body right now is clean

yummy coffee this morning

knitting going well even if i hate the color its coming along swimmingly!!

autumn SOON. finally get to knit warm garments and wear them

dont have to sleep alone hardly ever!! i am loved!!

[kittycalendar]

hello tumblr dot com. this blog i am starting as a diary that i on purpose DONT have my friends following. tumblr veteran but want anonymity .. maybe this will be a place for my yarn crafts too ... we will see ...