kitundercover

[kitundercover]

it might just be because im sleep deprived from jetlag rn but this r/relationship_advice post is making me cry actual tears of laughter. i read the post at first and was like yeah pretty standard whatever but im nosey so i clicked on the drawing op linked and i was not mentally prepared for it. putting it under a read more so you can get the same experience as i did

some of the top comments

[kitundercover]

[kitundercover]

[kitundercover]

Mating 👀

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

[kitundercover]

Learn ur dog breeds

[kitundercover]

The people who write for recipe websites live in a whole different world from me. I’m sorry I’m but a mere peasant who doesn’t have a food processor, a bread maker, a taffy puller, a sous vid, an apple sharpener, a serrated rolling pin, a pasta folder, a mobius funnel, or a milk shaker. Oh how foolish of me, with my simple pedestrian life that I didn’t anticipate how your recipes in the top search results would require buttermilk, baker’s flour, executioner’s chocolate, truffle blubber, or, fermented saffron. Tallow? Oh how foolish of me for not thinking to prepare tallow, you’re right, I should simply go procure some from my lard cellar

[kitundercover]

They really should teach people how to cook in school.

[kitundercover]

Weatherman discovers his monitor has a touch screen

[kitundercover]

Hi I have a question about Pacific Rim. Given that the sparring is just A way to test for drift compatibility and any activity that requires people to collaborate and anticipate each others moves works, including stuff like multi player video games

Can you test for drift compatibility via improv comedy

[kitundercover]

Fairy: Hey I didn’t get your name.

Me: Yeah that was on purpose.

Fairy: Oh my god stealing people’s names has been categorized as a war crime for like a hundred years. Do I seem like the kind of fairy that would do war crimes?

Me: Well yes, but that’s just my impression of you personally. Not fairies in general.

Fairy: You’re smarter than I thought.

[kitundercover]

yr locked in a room alone with three adult men but you feel perfectly safe. who are they

[kitundercover]

No vanilla extract because my recipe doesn't call for it.

[kitundercover]

[kitundercover]

“If it sucks hit da bricks” isn’t just a useful litany it’s also a skill you have to train. You gotta start with small stuff like leaving boring parties and refusing minor obligations to get the guts for the big stuff like quitting garbage jobs, cutting off a shitty relationship and getting out of a bad situation. Know what your time is worth

[kitundercover]

tired: mermaids are all women

wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty

[kitundercover]

did i ever tell you guy about the time i got stuck in a room with the kpop band BTS in the santiago airport in 2017