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liberals be like he bombed a country…. without congress approval
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i know her heart was in the right place but my mom wrote this in the funniest way possible
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you know you’re behind in mario kart when the game gives you a bullet william
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if mario was trapped in a cave for generations he would gradually become pale and lose his eyes and start hunting for fish and centipedes by sonar but he wouldnt lose his overalls or hat
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i had a dream i was playing undertale and i got to the snowy area and it was mostly the same but papyrus was replaced with this new character Prunsal.
Prunsal’s sprite was a high-contrast black and white photorealistic eyeball, roughly twice as big as papyrus, and looking directly at the viewer. whenever Prunsal “spoke”, the music mostly cut out and instead of text it was an unsettling orange glow emanating from the text box
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rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3
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i know all about allistic people. they really love loud sudden noises and bad textures
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have you guys heard of noodles? that shit is thick or thin depending
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no animal was harmed during the making of this video. not one. for the few minutes that we were shooting film, the guns of each hunter fell silent. the industrial bolt throwers observed a moment's peace and the jaws of every predator hung softly open. no fish bit any hook and the bait worms held off on drowning only until the cameras stopped. the tails of ruminants ceased to flick just as their attendant flies, in unison, landed on their flanks to catch their tiny breaths. a spider instantly stopped winding silk around a wasp, patiently waiting for the caesura to end. a young veterinarian paused with the syringe in their hand. somewhere, a colicky baby stopped biting its mother's nipple and nursed happily for the very first time. we're sorry. we're sorry it couldn't have been longer. we didn't know this would happen.
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