knaveofmogadore

[knaveofmogadore]

You have this post till midnight September 1st 2025, you may do whatever you like with it, but afterwards reblogs will be turned off

[knaveofmogadore]

[knaveofmogadore]

the clerk has an eye patch, the soldier twins in the intro have transitioned to women, and frank just pulled his time card out of his pants. so.

[knaveofmogadore]

Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy

State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.

........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.

There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.

And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.

And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.

Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.

Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.

Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"

The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.

The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.

[knaveofmogadore]

i made a translation of the draag alphabet keposhka lmk if i fucked it up!!!

[knaveofmogadore]

Okay, here’s an interesting question. What hobbies do you guys have that wouldn’t be apparent from your online presence? Like something you spend a lot of time doing or thinking about beyond whatever you post on your blog.

[knaveofmogadore]

‘Aquarium Bath’ by Arnold Mammarella & Marcy Voyevod

Scanned from ‘Before and After: Bathroom Makeovers’ (2006)

[knaveofmogadore]

have you noticed that they don't even want you right clicking anymore

[knaveofmogadore]

[knaveofmogadore]

courtesy of fallout reddit 😩😩 the deathclaw can rip down my tent im just gonna be pitching another WHO SAID THAT

[knaveofmogadore]

The reactions to the Royai fake out though:

Everyone ships it

[knaveofmogadore]

this was originally a cyberpunk meme but whatever

[knaveofmogadore]

happy PRIDE i’m here i’m queer and i believe the land should be given back to the proper indigenous stewards.

[knaveofmogadore]

aaaaay

[knaveofmogadore]

i appreciate how looking at the comments section of posts and blocking anyone who seems annoying (if they were audacious enough to be annoying on someone else's post, they may someday on mine, after all) does inevitably result in coming across entirely new comment sections that have already been beautifully curated, like so:

[knaveofmogadore]

am i wrong ???? like i feel like knowing that "when its summer in the northern hemisphere its winter in the southern hemisphere" is absolutely assumed knowledge for all global citizens connected by the internet..... like 1 this is information you learnt when you were 6 and 2 if youre online you interact with australians kiwis and with south americans and with south africans and people from the southern hemisphere all the time. how can you not know this basic knowledge