knavesflames

[knavesflames]

i made an ao3 acc where im gonna post unrelated to tumblr arlecchino content

i like writing about dark things specifically things i struggle with or whatever

but my tumblr is for smut and fluff and the occasional angst

so i am also there now

i won’t post much there probably

i don’t post much here anymore either i’m TRYINGGGG im sorry

but yes if u want more elise content im there @/arlecchinoismydad

[knavesflames]

skirk is so hot i wanna fuck her

who with me

who up

who up fucking skirk

[knavesflames]

just read this in public and now i'm wanted for crimes of passion in three states.

knavesflames, i hope you're proud of yourself. this was unreasonably sexy. i will never recover.

also, wyd later?

having a bbq funnily enough and hopefully hanging out with my partner

you think my fics r sexy….. what about me 🫦🫦🫦 (i’ve never face revealed here) (i don’t plan to)

[knavesflames]

RAHHHHHHHH RAY POST RAY POST RAY POST

You Make Me As Hard As Bedrock!

Streamer AU | Arlecchino x GN! Reader

A/N - I come back! Sorry for my absence, I was clawing my way out of writer's block and summer depression. I bring you this. Hopefully this makes up for it. This is very crack/fluff oriented (rare fluff sighting on edgeray's account). This is so left field from what I usually write, so apologies if this is bad. This idea comes from this post I made. CW / info - they play minecraft, silly idiots, obviously very out of character, streamer! arlecchino, streamer! reader, dirty jokes, 2.4k words

“Is this thing working? Is the stream up?” Arlecchino mutters under her breath as she taps onto the mic, adjusting her headphones as she switches between her windows on her monitor. 

Magic_catboi:  father is on! Teacatlady: Hello persPenguin: Yes, the mic works.  Foltz6__: hu horrerfilms: helol ughmen: father!!!!! celuere: Daddy???  Magic_cat_boi: _self-insert_?!?! omg horrerfilms: *hello edgeray: YOOOOOO  persPenguin: collab with _self-insert_ ? knavesflames: would.

Arlecchino faintly smiles at the immediate chat messages, eyes scanning over familiar usernames. 

“Thank you persPenguin. Let me pull this up…” The Knave displays the Minecraft title screen, ensuring that the right window is on stream. Once she's checked everything is set up, she faces the camera. 

“This stream, we'll be playing Minecraft with _self-insert_. This is my first stream with them, so be considerate. We will get started once [Name] finishes setting up the server and they call me. In the meantime, how are you guys today?” 

Magic_catboi: oh no. father. not minecraft DilfDigger: my show is on LilacLazernator: hello HauntedMolerat: knave stream?? chat  persPenguin: good :D Magic_cat_boi: go d Conquer_of_Gluesticks: You single handily made me question my sexuality and it has destroyed me can we kiss  ughmen: i thank archon every day that women exist. horrerfilms: fine, hru ShakespeareSock: Good, wbu Teacatlady: How many deaths will father have today place your bets below vv GamerGoose07: collab with _self-insert_ was not on my 2025 bingo enchantdisdick: okay  Magic_catboi: gud HyacinthTeabag: more mc streams hurrah celuere: ughmen, real.  i_came_i_saw_i_failed: Hi dad! If you had a fursona, what would it be? edgeray: was about to study for an exam. nvm, ig persPenguin: father i got an A on my math test GamerGoose07: Teacatlady 10 cloudpawgames: !!!!_self-insert_!!!! capybarasrock: where is Bambi Jr.  Magic_catboi: gamergoose have some faith. 15.  Dadleftforemilk: father, drop a tutorial on how to get your dad to come back  Teacatlady: A spider, obviously @I_came_i_saw_i_failed

Arlecchino stretches in her chair, watching her chat flood with messages. “I am pleased that your day has been pleasant. persPenguin, excellent job. Just as I said, you have nothing to worry about as long as you do your best. If any of you have not eaten today yet, know that I am disappointed. This is your reminder to grab a snack, as the stream won’t start for a few minutes.” 

celuere: step on me

Ignoring that, Arlecchino scrolls back up her chat. “Bambi Jr.? She is doing just fine. Let me go get her.” Arlecchino rises from her chair and removes her bunny-eared headset, walking off camera to the right. She returns, a juvenile tarantula wandering over her tattooed arms. 

Worstchestersauce: teacatlady that’s not very skibidi!!!! >:(((( capybarasrock: bambi!!  i_do_myth: late, but i am here! hi father!! cloudpawgames: What type of spider is she again? horrerfilms: tell bambi i said hi Jean_notJohn: hello Dadleftforemilk: father, will you be my dad Magic_catboi: look at hwo good bambi jr. is. very mindful, very demure Worstchestersauce: teacatlady. seven HyacinthTeabag: we love bambi jr we say in unison  Dadleftforemilk: pls 

The streamer smiles, letting the spider crawl onto her palm, standing patiently as if posing for the viewers. “Today has been going well for me. Yes, hello to the people still joining in. I went to the gym earlier this morning, had a good session, and ordered my favorite takeout afterwards. Very relaxed weekend today. I am excited for the stream, [Name] and I have played Minecraft a couple of times in the last few weeks, but this is the first time we’ll be streaming.”   

She pauses at one of the latest messages. “What is demure?”

Unsurprisingly, it is another slang term that has cropped up. New internet lingo crops up like weeds, she thinks, and once more, everyone is calling her a boomer. A donation message comes through, and Arlecchino reads it outloud.

“LilacLazernator, thank you for the donation. ‘Day 193892 of asking you to call chat your little pog…champ?’” Arlecchino sounds out the last word. Vaguely, she recalls the term–was this not used during the earlier years of Covid? She continues the rest of the donation. “‘(please I need the validation).’ How do you all feel about this?”

Magic_catboi: YAS father!1!!11! HyacinthTeabag: call us your little pogchamp GamerGoose07: do it do it do it Teacatlady: Say it

Arlecchino pinches the bridge of her nose with her free hand, letting Bambi Jr. crawl over her lap for a little bit. Sighing, she stares deadpanned at the camera. She opens her lips, but purses them the next moment, another sigh emerging from her. 

“How are we feeling today… my little pogchamps?” Could regret ever be more instant? 

 Teacatlady: This is being clipped

The chat has a brief seizure as she picks up Bambi Jr. again, hearing a discord ping message through her headset and she quickly goes off camera to place Bambi Jr. back in her enclosure. 

“Give me one moment, I believe [Name] just messaged me.” 

_self-insert_  ready to go when you are! server is up. you got the server address? knave yes. is your stream set up? we can call? _self-insert_ yes! let me go call you.

The discord call ringtone sounds through, and she accepts the call. 

“Knave! How are you doing today?” your voice sounds through.  

“Good, good. And you?” 

“Great! Are you having any trou–oh, there you are!” 

xKnavex joined the game

Arlecchino’s character spawns in a meadow, trees scarce across a grassy landscape. Pigs and cows graze the land, and a chicken clucks somewhere nearby. The Knave find’s _self-insert_’s character punching a tree, and walks over. 

“Here for the morning wood, huh?” _self-insert_ teases as the two of them punch the same tree. 

Arlecchino rolls her eyes. “As if I would be interested in any wood,” she quips back. With the tree now demolished by their fists, leaving floating leaves, they move onto the next nearby tree.  

“Not much of a Minecraft builder are you?” _self-insert_ jokes, some cheekiness in your tone as your character travels to find the nearest cave. Meanwhile, Arlecchino searches for food, promptly smacking wildlife with her fists.

‘Not what I meant,’ Arlecchino comments to herself, but answers back with a grin, “You're the Minecraft expert here, _self-insert_, not me. Aren't you here to teach me?” 

You let out a melodic chuckle, and Arlecchino swears she could listen to it forever. “Yeah? You want me to make you an expert?” Your voice dips a bit, a sweet, silky tone that nearly makes the Knave shiver. You drop down into the mouth of a cave, mining enough cobblestone for an upgraded pickaxe, then delving deeper for coal. 

“Not as good as you,” the Knave replies, a slight shake of her head. Arlecchino comes across a pig. The first hit is a success, but as the pig squeals and scatters, the next sequential punches aren’t so successful.  

“I dunno, I can be a good teacher. If you're a good listener.”

“I can listen well.” After the nth hit, the pig finally dies, rewarding Arlecchino with just a single raw porkchop. 

“Really well?” 

“As good as I can be. I'll be good for you.” 

“Just for me?”

 “Of course. Whose going to teach me how to build our house?”

Another laugh comes from the other end of the call, the warmth in Arlecchin’s chest growing just from sound. “Oh, we’re sharing the same house? I wasn’t aware we were at that stage already in our relationship.” 

“Our beds next to each other in our past worlds didn’t tell you enough? I’m hurt,” Arlecchino says, faux disappointment in her voice, a visible pout from her apparent through her face camera. “I thought we were closer than that, aren’t we?” 

“I’ll move in with you again if you can give me some food,” _self-insert_ replies as her character resurfaces from the cave, a full set of stone tools and some ores in her inventory. 

Arlecchino brutally eviscerates a cow with a clenched fist of raw porkchops. “Of course, I have some food for you. Where are you?” 

“Aww, you miss me already? Give me your cords.” 

As Arlecchino struggles to find the F3 button, the stream chat explodes. 

Jean_notJohn: what happened to hi, hello, gm? i_do_myth: is ths flirting Worstchestersauce: what– Conquer_of_Gluesticsk: 😮 Magic_catboi: what a stsrt to a stream ughmen: we loe lesbianism horrerfilms: father y r u alr flirting Jean_notJohn: we get it father, you’re a lesbian ShakespeareSock: lesbian tries not to be lesbian challenge failed Teacatlady: Do the two of you need the room?  HauntedMolerat: r they dating???? ths their first stream right? DilfDigger: local lesbian flirts with another woman after .1 seconds of meeting Dadleftforemilk: are we interrupting something persPenguin: father why Worstchestersauce: since when were they together??? 0o0 capybarasrock: sesbian lex?!!?!?!1 GamerGoose07: stop being gay and make wooden tools iloverats34: oil up steponmepwettypls: when are you making out???

Like an absent father, Arlecchino neglects her chat in favor of still struggling to find her coordinates with your assistance. By this point, you have dug yourself in a hole and Arlecchino is screenrecording her game to _self-insert_. (“Okay, did you find the F3 button? Yeah? Okay, okay, look to the left, THE LEFT, to the LEFT, uh huh, yeah, top-middle-ish. Did you find it yet? No, okay, move your mouse, wait. Wait. It’s, it’s there, it’s right there, right there! Do you see it?! Do I need that big red circle from those clickbait videos!? Oh okay, you found it? Okay, read it out loud for me. Good job.”) 

Arlecchino finds shelter on top of a tree, while you make the dangerous trek of searching for the Knave, weaving past creepers and dodging arrows as your hunger persists. You cross from one end of the forest to the next, and climb arduously up a mountain, determined to rescue your damsel in distress.

“I'm being shot at,” the white-haired streamer protests, her character prancing on top of a treetop in circles to avoid the arrows of skeletons. She is determined to stay alive until you can come, all the faith in you that you will be able to protect her any minute now. 

“I’m coming! I should be there in a second! I should be close by. Wait, you’re in a tree right?” You scan your surroundings, scoping out the barren mountain side. 

“Yes?”

“It’s 100 and 900 for the x and z coordinates, right?”

“Yes, wait.” Arlecchino goes to check her coordinates, realizing her grave mistake. “It’s negative 900.”

A moment of silence occurs between them, the only thing audible is the clacking of Arlecchino’s keyboard and the shuffling of leaves. 

“I’m going to jump off a cliff.” 

“Wait–” 

Arlecchino successfully discourages your character down from the mountain, and by morning, you finally found her, perched in a tree. 

“Give me my food please.” 

“Okay, here’s some chicken.”

“This is raw.” 

Arlecchino goes into her inventory to search for the right food. She drops several pieces of lambchops. 

“This is raw too.” 

“...you can still eat them.”

Your character begins walking away from her, chewing onto your uncooked poultry. You sigh out, “I want a divorce.”

“What? For what?” Arlecchino croaks out in utter bafflement. “We were married?” 

“This is weaponized incompetence. I wanted cooked food.” A faux sob comes from your end. “I’m taking the kids with me.” 

“What kids?!” 

You sniffle. “Get out of my house.”

“We haven’t even built one.” 

“Well, build one so I can kick you out of it.” 

“You mean you’re no longer gonna sleep next to me?”

A bout of silence, before you admit defeat. “You make a good point. You can’t cuddle me if we’re divorced.”

“So we’re still married and I’m no longer kicked out of our hypothetical house?” 

“Only if you can build our house.” 

“I thought you were teaching me how to build.” 

“Nope. You have to prove yourself to be worthy of marrying me. And I’m going to be busy.”

“Busy doing what?” 

Arlecchino could practically hear the smile through your words. “Mining for a diamond.” 

“Just one diamond?”

“Yeah. Who do you think will be proposing?” 

GamerGoose07: marriage speedrun??? Magic_catboi: father with the RIZZ?!1?1? cloudpawgames: I can’t tell ifthey’re like not dating or not Jean_notJohn: are they joking? Or like, fr? HauntedMolerat: they sound like my parents  ughmen: i know lesbian move in fast but… not that fast  Conquer_of_Gluesticks: drop tutorial on how to achieve wife Teacatlady: Father, you never told us that _self-insert_ was your girlfriend steponmepwettypls: there is no reason for you guys to be this cute and gay omg 

“My chat thinks we’re dating,” Arlecchino says as she collects wood.

“Aren’t we?”

“In real life, they mean.”

“We can make that happen too, you know.”

Arlecchino nearly chokes on her spit. “Are you asking me… out?”

You contemplate it for a moment. “You know what? Yeah, I am.”

“I… I accept?” 

“Great. Our next date is going to be off stream.” 

“What–” 

—

“So how do you like the house?”

“It’s…”

“Be nice.”

“I’m trying.” 

“It’s not that bad, right?”

“Yeah… if we were in 2014. Maybe I should have taught you first.” 

— 

“Hey, you know if you press ‘Q’ while holding a pickaxe near lava, it reveals ores underneath the lava?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

“... do you still have those divorce papers?” 

— 

“Watch out it’s a creeper!”

“AW MAN!”

“Where is this music coming from–”

—

“HyacinthTeabag, thank you for the donation. ‘I will bark if you do a waterbucket MLG.’ What’s an MLG, _self-insert_?”

“Oh, it’s easy. Watch this.”

“I can do that.” 

xKnavex fell from a high place. 

— 

“Teacatlady says: ‘Father, here are some minecraft pickup lines to help you seduce–’”

“Seduce?!” 

“‘–_self-insert_: Are you a redstone torch? Because you turn me on.’” 

“Wow, I’ve never felt more aroused.” 

“‘You must be a wolf because I want to give you my bone.’”

A bout of silence. _self-insert_’s character does a slow turn towards the Knave. 

“‘Can I fertalize your crop with my bonemeal?’” 

_self-insert_ remains silent to ensure that Arlecchino is done, before letting out a dramatic sigh. “You’re just so sexy. Make love to me right now.”

“Right here in this cave? Our first time deserves somewhere better.” 

“You’re right. Let’s go back up to the surface.” 

—

“Did you know you can dye beds? I got poppies so that you can dye your bed red.”

“I didn’t know that. What color do you like?” 

“I like magenta, but their flowers are kind of hard to come by.”

“What flowers?” 

“Alliums or lilacs.” 

An hour later. 

—

“Why do we have 43 Alliums in our chest?”

“I thought you wanted to dye your bed…” 

For the record, Father only died 11 times. Keep inventory had to be turned on after the third death.

[knavesflames]

OH MY GOD THE NEW TRAILER.

VENTI AND ISTAROTH ARE BOTH VOICED BY THE SAME ACTOR IN EVERY LANGUAGE.

WHAT DO THEY MEAN THEY BESTOWED HISTORY UPON THEM? THE TWINS?

DID THEY CONFIRM PAIMON IS ASMODAY?

COLUMBINA?!

AND I SAW THOSE DAMN HEELS IN THOSE FATUI SILHOUETTES BABYGIRL COME BACK TO ME

[knavesflames]

random irrelevant poll which name is your fave

go pick one go go

[knavesflames]

Hmmm... I am an artist, and cannot help but wonder how Arlecchino would react to discover some... spicy art reader has made? 🥰

i too am an artist, anon! not professionally or anything, just for fun :] i draw landscapes (im an ipad baby so everything is digital), and random people!! i wouldn’t call them ocs but i like making up silly backstories—so maybe they are ocs lol— and also occasionally nsfw things ;]

this isn’t proof read AT ALL i haven’t actually read it back. i wrote it while watching something and sleep deprived oopsie

i may write a full length thing for this idea one day but here are my thoughts. under the cut, of course

consider you draw on paper for this one. consider she’s been working non stop for the past weeks, subordinates doing nothing but making her life harder. stressed, as usual. the lines on her forehead get more prominent with each week that passes, and all you can do is hold her tense body as she just barely falls in and out of sleep and whisper sweet nothings in her ear.

sighing, she turns over the fifth page of this section of paperwork, only to find that the calculations on the page were wrong. her teeth grind together so hard she almost worries they’ll turn to dust, but takes a breath and opens her desk drawer for some paper. something she says often is that if she wants something done correctly, she’ll do it herself.

the only person she trusts to take care of things other than herself is you. you take great pride in it.

there is no paper. she groans inwardly, and silently counts to calm herself down. she never gets angry around you, she refuses. in fact, you never see any side to her other than her pathetic, sopping wet cat, “i love my wife” side. you almost find it hard to believe that the same hand that caresses your cheek in the morning is the same hand that brings destruction and bloodshed to the people she sees fit.

she stands and walks to your desk, scanning the top with her eyes for any paper she can take from you, but finds none. so, she opens the top drawer on the left hand side, and finds what she assumed she’d find— some old pencils, maybe some expensive oil paints she bought you for your birthday. no paper.

the right hand side then, she assumes, and she’s right. she opens the drawer on the right side, and there, sitting neatly, is a stack of paper and notebooks filled with art.

her lips turn upwards at the sight of artwork she knows you’ve spent so much time on, and her mind flashes back to the days she’s watched you, pencil tucked behind your ear, lip caught between your teeth as you concentrate on the paper in front of you. it warms her heart more than she cares to admit.

her fingers tenderly brush over the paper, feeling the texture. it’s expensive, and for a second, she’s apologetic that she has to use your expensive paper for some calculations because some stupid fatui officer couldn’t do their job correctly. but the paperwork has to be finished.

she picks up a piece of paper, careful to not disrupt any of the other things in the drawer. once picked up, she eyes it for just a second before her eyes move back to the drawer to close it.

but she hesitates. her eyes fall onto a drawing so intricate, she’s mesmerised by the lines. but the artwork itself is… no less than obscene. you and her in a position she remembers all too well. you’ve captured every facial expression perfectly, and the anatomy of your art is something she’s always been impressed with, but this seems to be on a completely different level. her breath shakes as she realises just how long it’s been, and a wave of guilt washes over her at the idea of you wanting her so much you’ve turned to art, and never even told her.

she closes the drawer. she sits down and her hand moves quickly, picking up a pen and moving across the page, her usual elegant handwriting a total mess.

once the paperwork is finished three hours later, her phone is in her hand, uttering a stern warning to her officers to not disturb her this weekend, not unless they’d like to have their hands removed.

by the time you get home from whatever you’re doing, she’s sat on the sofa, the smell of her signature steak tartare in the kitchen, and the artwork she had seen earlier laying on the dining room table. she stares at you blankly as your eyes drift to the paper and then back up to her, a look of embarrassment appearing on your face.

“i think there may some inaccuracies in that piece, my dear. perhaps you’d like to reenact it. for references.”

[knavesflames]

i wish my guitar didn’t break i miss it </3

i don’t have the trifecta of writing drawing and editing but i have writing drawing and music

academically (numbers) i am not so good so my brain made up for it in creativity

ALTHOUGH TELL ME WHY NEXT YESR I HAVE TO DO ECONOMIC MATH IN SCHOOL

do they want me dead.

anyway yeah i miss my guitar i was good at it too

[knavesflames]

Hi, i don't know how much this will help you, but please know you're not alone in this world. I'm also in my twenties, completely alone. It's summer and I'm shut in my room. My only form of socialising was university, but i haven't been there for like almost 8 months now due to what's happening in my country (not my choice rip)

Idk why im writing this, maybe it will be easier for you to know that there are people who share the dame struggle. And I'd love to be your friend!

But please know that we still haven't met people who are supposed to be in our life. My own psychologist said she met her true friends in her 30's!

I know how debilitating loneliness can be but take care. One day, and i hope soon, things will change in a positive way 🩷

mwah thank you:)

my only form of socialising is also through school and stuff. i’m not sure what country you’re in but i’m sorry that whatever is happening is happening!! stay safe !

i have a month and a half left of the summer we’ve got this 💪💪

i hope you find a way to ease your loneliness soon!!

[knavesflames]

lowkey guys what if i actually made my twitter active

i have one i’ve had one for YEARS i just never use it

do i take the chance to brainrot on multiple platforms about arlecchino

i can use here for writing business and a bit of stupidity and use twitter just to be dumb on

perhaps…. what u think

[knavesflames]

guys i’m having sad arlecchino thoughts to the songs on preachers daughter

ethel cain save me

peruere save me

[knavesflames]

I am this 🤏 close to writing angst abt Peruere having no friends during childhood because MY GOD

I am so lonely guys it’s unreal I’m putting this utc so you guys don’t have to read my bs whatsoever if you don’t want but it’s abt loneliness and writing I just have thoughts and idk where to put them so

Being lonely in your 20’s is a different type of hell I stg! I have my partner and my like, 3 friends, but it’s like. How much can I interact with my friends really if they don’t live in my country?

School is out for the summer and has been for a few weeks and I have not known loneliness like this since I was 16 and bullied horrendously (which was its own breed of betrayal and heartbreak) (watching your entire grade turn against you for two years is not for the weak trust) (don’t trust your 16 year old best friend who you’re lowkey secretly in love with) (hope she’s doing well in life tho, she still hates me but I just hope she’s chilling)

Summer is here and suddenly I’m reminded of the fact that irl I am just not that fun to be around 😭 I have asked people to hang out and they’ve said no which fair enough but atp barely anyone is ever talking to me for proper conversations and the desperation I am having for having some sort of human contact beyond that of my home is getting a littol bit pathetic (I feel pathetic at least) (I googled why people don’t like me multiple times) (I even posted on Reddit) (I grasp at any message that gets sent so I can keep the conversation going so I don’t have to face the silence of nobody talking to me)

Like I’ll say something whether that’s through text or actually speaking and I’ll be so dumb when I speak or whatever that I just instantly realise why people don’t talk to me or why people dislike me

But at the same time i say things and I know damn well they’re coming off as desperate so then I think maybe it’s better to just clam up and not talk because it’s humiliating and embarrassing

So all I really have is writing and that’s great and lovely I adore it, I think I’d like to be an author one day but idk I don’t think I’m good enough we’ll see

But how much sex can I write before I ultimately go back to my Google docs of sadness and also writing based on Ethel Cain songs

It’s all just a bit shit my guys and I have to channel it somewhere because I don’t go back to school until August so chances are I’ll have limited human interaction until then and if I’m not talking to people I’m sat at home doing nothing because nobody wants to do things with me🤩

So yeah who wants sad lonely Peruere because recently I wrote a short story about something unrelated to genshin but it made me cry because it was so sad so imagine what I would do to our girl

[knavesflames]

Update I am still writing! But things go a lot slower for me now than they did— POTS and the summer aren’t a good mix, I fear

Getting there though!! Should come out this weekend 🤭

Also does anyone have POTS and if so how the fuck are you dealing with summer

[knavesflames]

Writing things tonight… who up

[knavesflames]

hello knavesflames.

respectfully, do you believe in love at first fic or should i scream-cry-read this again so we can fall properly? asking for a friend. the friend is me. i'm in love with you.

Hello, anon.

Much to your dismay, I am in a relationship. You can, however, have love at first fic with my fics. Fall in love with those! The world is your oyster…

[knavesflames]

bitch

Hello?

[knavesflames]

have you considered: phone sex

I’m back…. Perhaps. Lol. Idk how good this one is, it’s the first proper smut I’ve written since March. I still write (it’s in my blood guys) but it’s all just sad and depressing or poetic and who needs that when you can have: smut.

Anyway here u go my friends (gas this up or I’ll cry) (joking) (kinda)

Word count: 1.7k

Contents: guided masturbation, masochism (a little bit), degradation, praise, yuhh

Nsft utc :]

“I miss you. You’ve been gone for so long, when are you coming back?”

“I’m unsure, dearest. You know this, the missions are unpredictable. This one has been a hassle.” The voice coming from the phone switches from being slightly delayed to clear and sounding like she’s almost in the room with you. Weeks of a new mission has her in Sumeru, with you at home. She hates to leave you alone, truly, she’d much rather spend her days with you, even if she doesn’t say that outright— the way her eyebrows knitted together and the way her mouth turned slightly downwards when she got the call told you enough.

“You’ve been there for weeks.” You murmur, pouting slightly and looking at your phone screen. You’re propped up on her hotel room desk, the karmaphala wood old and worn. Paperwork is strewn around, a half drunk water glass is what you balance on. She doesn’t even use her phone often. Truth is, she doesn’t know how. Arlecchino chooses to use it only to contact you and to receive calls from whatever subordinate chooses to bother her.

“I’m painfully aware, angel.” Her eyes flit up at you, moving from a piece of paper she holds between her thumb and forefinger. Red crosses move over the phone screen, and her eyebrow arches in one quick movement when she takes in exactly what you’re wearing, or rather, what she thinks you’re wearing. “Are you wearing the red bra? Underneath your shirt.”

“Yes.”

“Why? I’m not there.” Her voice, though flat, holds some sort of tease only you can pick up on. It makes you grin, and you glance away to try and contain it.

“Makes me think of you.”

“Good,” Arlecchino’s eyes glance back down at the paper before she sighs almost inaudibly. She drops it, and looks back up. “You should think of me. How often do you think of me?”

“All the time.” You adjust your position. Your phone is propped on your coffee table, you’re sprawled out on the sofa, and you move so you can properly face her. “When I wake up, when I go to sleep. Of course I do.”

“Yeah?” Arlecchino’s voice quiets a little bit, and her voice takes on a certain tone you can’t truly describe, but you know what she’s doing, especially when her eyes lock with yours, and all you can do is swallow.

“Yeah. Of course.” Your own voice is quieter, but it’s only because the eye contact makes you lose your breath for a second. She knows that. She revels in it.

“Good girl! That’s good, mon cœur.”

“You can’t. You can’t do that, Arlecchino.”

“Can’t I?” Her head tilts slightly to the left, her eyes not leaving you. The crosses have a sort of challenge to them now, it seems, they’re shining the way they weren’t a few minutes ago. “Why?”

“Because. Because I’ll get all… and you aren’t here.”

“You can’t fix it yourself?”

Your cheeks warm, and you look at your hands. You can’t. You’ve tried, if you’re honest with yourself. It works, sure, but it’s the weakest fucking orgasm you’ve had in your life. It just isn’t the same. You think it’s because it’s the fact you need her to watch you, to comment on the little reactions you have, the way your teeth graze your lip and the way your breath catches. You don’t realise you’re so lost in your thoughts that you’ve been silent for a minute or two, until her voice cuts through them.

“You can’t, can you?”

“I-“

“How pathetic,” she chuckles, but it’s a mocking laugh, and you can hear it. Her chuckles, albeit rare, are warmer than one would expect, and this one is cold. Cold in a way you like too much. Cold in a way she knows you like too much. “You can’t even fuck yourself without me? Do you need me that much, angel?”

You can only nod, mouth slightly agape, eyes wide. Arlecchino leans closer, eyes narrowing as she looks at something. You realise your eyes have dilated and she’s watching it happen. You can’t hide your reactions even if you tried to. Not with her, at least.

“What, can’t speak? Are you all brainless already? I haven’t even done anything. Are you that desperate?”

You stay staring at her, chest rising a little faster than before, and you hide the shocked grin when her voice turns into a barked command.

“Fucking answer me.”

“Yes.”

“Good! That wasn’t hard, was it?”

“No,” you feel your voice turning into a whimper, and it’s hilariously embarrassing, but she seems to have ruined you, because you don’t have shame the way you once did. “I need you. I miss you.”

“Yeah? Does my little whore need me? What a shame I’m not there, dearest,” she leans back, chair scraping the floor, and moves her legs so she’s sitting the way she does when you’re kneeling in front of her. “So let me watch, hm?”

Unsure if you’ve heard her correctly, you freeze for a split second before grinning, moving yourself once again until you’re laying with a blanket over you. You get it halfway covering you before—

“Remove the blanket.” Arlecchino says it in a way that sounds bored, but you know very well she’s perfectly entertained. When you freeze, hand on the blanket, her eyebrows raise. “You speak English, don’t you? Remove. The. Blanket.”

You’ve always liked it when she’s a little mean. You’re a masochist, after all, at least a little bit. So when she commands you, you do what she says (after being a brat for ten minutes). This time, it’s been so long that you don’t wait, you want to be good for her, so the blanket comes off, revealing the shorts you wear often as pyjamas.

“Touch yourself for me, angel,” Arlecchino’s eyes pierce you as your hand slides down your body, eyes focused on her. When your hand reaches the place you want it to go, your face doesn’t change. Not for a few seconds, anyway. When it does change, it’s as minute as your eyebrows furrowing. “Feel good?”

“How…”

“I just know, do not question my intelligence.” A warning, a stern one. She can tell your mouth is about to open, about to give some snarky remark, and her head shakes almost imperceptibly. “I wouldn’t, if I were you. You know where it’ll get you.”

So you say nothing. Instead, your breath catches and you swallow down the first noise of the evening, your hand moving under the layers of cotton. Your eyes stay locked on hers, barely blinking, head tilted to ensure that you don’t lose her gaze amidst the sensations flooding your body.

“What are you doing to yourself?” She hums, feigning curiosity. She knows very well what you’re doing, you don’t do anything unless you’re told to. In this situation, anyway.

“Just touching myself,” you breathe, voice trembling. You try to suck in a breath to calm yourself, but it shakes, and receives an “aww” from the phone.

“Was that a shaky breath I heard?”

“Be quiet.”

“Watch it,” Arlecchino warns. “Finger yourself for me.”

You stare at her dumbly, but your hand moves anyway. Her eyes watch, and her own chest heaves with whatever emotion she’s trying to hold back. The few other times she’s done this with you, she’s touched herself at the same time, and she doesn’t speak much, save from the whispered praises or degradation or whatever it is she’s chosen for that specific time. Tonight, however, she chooses to focus on you, no matter how difficult it is to not give in to her own urges. You have missed her, awfully, and you’ve been so good for her, have you not?

You gasp and your head tilts back when your fingers slide into yourself with ease. For the first time, she smiles, a genuine smile. It’s rare that she does, but it’s warm and fits her perfectly in a way that makes your heart flutter. A giggle escapes you, but it slips into a whine you can’t hide quick enough.

“What, dearest? Are you pretending I’m fucking you?” When you nod frantically, jaw slack and harsh breaths wracking your body, she speaks again. “So pretend I’m there. Slap yourself for me.”

You freeze, lifting your head up a couple inches, shock on your features.

“You like it, don’t you? You’re the one begging me to do it when we’re together.”

She has you there, and you both know it. You hesitate still, choosing to curl your fingers quickly, causing your head to flop back down. When she continues to stare however, becoming more and more unimpressed, your hand raises. You hesitate again, and then slap your cheek. It isn’t super hard, it stings, sure, but it’s not going to leave a mark, and the noise you make after tells her that you enjoyed it (too much, perhaps?).

Your fingers keep moving, curling inside of you the way she’s done to you countless times before. The familiar knot in your lower abdomen grows bigger, and your noises grow more frantic, you begin looking at her desperately.

“I can hear how wet you are, and I’m not even there. Do you understand what a pathetic whore you are for me? You’re so obedient, too,” she muses, legs spread comfortably on her chair, arms resting on the top of the chair as she sits on it, the way she sits when she knows you’re staring at her. “Think you can cum for me?”

Nodding frantically, you whimper a string of ‘pleasepleaseplease’ and ‘please don’t make me stop,’ and other unintelligible things until her voice softens and she gives you permission.

So you unravel, barely aware of the praise she’s softly muttering to you. The only thing you know is that if she were here, you’d worship her like she was the only archon in Teyvat. You cum so hard that you’re dizzy for a second and laugh breathlessly when it’s over, hiding your face.

“We don’t talk about that,” you murmur behind a hand covering your face, shoulders shaking with embarrassed giggles. Arlecchino only hums incredulously. You both know she plans to bring it up later, when she’s finally home.

“Interesting. That only took you 17 minutes,” she notes aloud, knowing the reaction it gives you— more embarrassment. “I’ll get it to 15 next time.”