knifearo

[knifearo]

friendly reminder that platonic doesn’t mean nonsexual

[knifearo]

unreliable narrator but it's just an aromantic writing romance

[knifearo]

[knifearo]

My only two aroace moods are

"don't ever call me hot, this is so degrading"

and

"I want to be the hottest person on this planet, able to seduce fucking everyone and use this power for evil"

[knifearo]

beefing with asexual people on tumblr dot com is so ridiculous. i know the userbase on this site you should be thanking us for the representation for people who don’t fuck

[knifearo]

as an asexual who likes to imagine sex but doesnt actually like having sex, sometimes it just feels like sex isnt real but i wish it was. and post

[knifearo]

being a non partnering aro is great because we have way more time for the killings

[knifearo]

sex neutral gang rise up or stay limp it doesn’t really matter

[knifearo]

one thing about me i am always talking about aromanticism

[knifearo]

sex neutral gang rise up or stay limp it doesn’t really matter

[knifearo]

sex neutral gang rise up or stay limp it doesn’t really matter

[knifearo]

God put me on this earth to not date anybody

[knifearo]

Sex Positive vs. Sex Favorable

They’re not the same thing.  Sex positive, neutral, and negative describes someone’s opinion on the morality of sex in general and its place in society.  Sex favorable, indifferent, averse, and repulsed have to do with your own interactions with sex.

Favorable, indifferent, averse, and repulsed is mostly used for asexual-spectrum people, and a lot of aromantic-spectrum people use the same scale to describe their feelings towards romance.  But allosexual (non-asexual) people might also find it helpful.  Like, there are people who feel attraction towards other people but are sex averse and don’t want to have sex with anyone they’re attracted to.  (There are also people fitting the same description who do identify as aspec, and that’s valid, too.)

Here’s the chart that’s commonly used used to explain the two scales.  I’m going to add an image description afterwards, but I’m not really familiar with doing them so it may not be great.

[Image description: A picture divided vertically into two halves.  The left half is white with black text and the right half is black with white text.  Each half has several terms written in bold with a smaller description under each one.  The text is in a handwriting-style font.

On the left side, it says, “Sex-positive: To have a positive attitude towards sex in general.  Not necessarily for yourself, but any safe sex between consenting people. Sex-neutral: to have no opinion on sex in general, neither positive nor negative. Sex-negative: to have a negative attitude towards sex in general.  To think sex is bad/wrong, even safe and between consenting people.”

On the right side, it says, “Sex-favorable: to have a positive attitude towards sex for yourself.  To desire sex.  Sex-indifferent: To have no opinion on sex for yourself, neither positive not negative.  Sex-averse: to have a negative attitude toward sex for yourself.  To not desire sex.  Sex-repulsed: To be repulsed by the thought of sex.”

End description.]

People get these two scales mixed up constantly, and/or leave out words.  Y’all, I know it’s hard.  I have to go through both of them in my head before I mention either one to make sure I’m saying the right thing.  But we can do better.  Please!  Like, one of my friends was angry at me when I came out as asexual to her because she thought I was attacking her sexuality.  And yeah, I’m sex averse, but that has no bearing on what I think of her.  It’s actually a common myth that the concept of asexuality is inherently sex negative, and we don’t need to encourage that by conflating sex negativity with being sex averse or repulsed.

Actually, most people fit somewhere on both scales.  So I made a chart of my own that shows how they fit together.  Personally, I’m in the top right corner, sex averse and (doing my best to be) sex positive.

[Image description: A three-by-three chart, similar to an alignment chart.  The left column is labeled “sex favorable”, the middle column is labeled “sex indifferent”, and the right column is labeled “sex averse/repulsed”.  The top row is labeled “sex positive”, the middle row is labeled “sex neutral”, and the bottom row is labeled “sex negative”.

The box in the top left of the chart reads, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people having consensual sex, and I personally like to have sex.”  The box in the top middle reads, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people having consensual sex, and I personally don’t mind having sex.”  The box in the top right reads, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people having consensual sex, but I personally don’t want to have sex.”

The middle-left box reads, “I think it’s sometimes all right for people to have sex, and I personally like to have sex.”  The center box reads, “I think it’s sometimes all right for people to have sex, and I personally don’t mind having sex.”  The middle-right box says, “I think it’s sometimes all right for people to have sex, but I personally don’t want to have sex.”

The box in the bottom left says, “I think sex is immoral, but I personally like to have sex.”  The bottom middle box says, “I think sex is immoral, but I personally don’t mind having sex.”  The bottom right box says, “I think sex is immoral, and I personally don’t want to have sex.”

End description.]

So yeah, you can be sex positive and sex repulsed, or sex neutral and sex averse, or whatever!  I’d say that a lot of American politicians are both sex negative and sex favorable.  If you need more information, I added my own descriptions of the seven terms below the cut.

(I really wish I hadn’t made this so long, LOL.  It took me way too long.  Please reblog so it’s worth it?)

Keep reading

[knifearo]

the way fandoms are desperate to make all aroace characters romance and sex favorable but then dont do anything remotely similar to any other identity is astounding. hmm i wonder why

PLEASE dont derail this about shipping characters of other identities please let this one post be about an aroace struggle

[knifearo]

Aro people don't need to be more loving or have more friends or anything like that to make up for their aro-ness. There's nothing to make up for, and aro people can engage with the concept of love or their personal relationships however they want.

[knifearo]

[knifearo]

this pride be nice to alloaros or the bug gets you. im serious