knightdecay

[knightdecay]

i know i owe things but the brain just aint there rn laddies n laddettes 

[knightdecay]

this isn’t RP related at all but i do actually want to talk about this because i’m 98% sure my brain stroked out halfway thru reading this. 

first of all, anakin was 9 not 6 when he and padme met. i’m going to chalk that up to a typo. second, anakin (i’ve never read the novelizations of tpm or aotc so i’m going to make some assumptions based off of the movie here) likely thinks she’s pretty. i mean, he even asks if she’s an angel. he thinks she’s pretty because she is pretty. padme never romanticizes anakin at all at this stage? he’s 9 and she has bigger concerns that have to do with her people and entire planet being in literal extreme damage. nothing bag or terrible or horrible really happens here. he gives her the japor snippet that he made because again, he thinks she’s pretty and she was nice to him - especially after he has to leave his mom (who is his entire world atp) behind. that’s it. end of story. 

*fast forward 10 years*

to my knowledge they have zero or, at the very least, almost absolutely minimal contact with each other in these ten years. i’m pretty sure it’s zero because anakin makes a big deal of the fact that padme hasn’t seen him in ten years when he and obi wan are on their way to meet her. he’s 19 and he obviously has a crush on her and has romanticized this crush over the years because who among us hasn’t done this with someone in our lives? padme shuts him down almost immediately and anakin looks like he’d rather die because she, unlike him, did not have a crush on him 10 yrs prior. and again, they’ve had almost zero contact since then til now.

padme spends a good bit of the first part of aotc rebuffing anakin and anakin does, in fact, withdraw when padme signals that no they don’t need to do this. he doesn’t like it, but he does respect that. we can also extrapolate that they’re spending a lot of time with each other in the lake country of naboo. she takes him to meet her family. they get to know each other. she gets to meet anakin the adult because yes, he is in fact an adult at the age of 19. legally he is an adult. end of. you can argue the semantics of 19 vs 24 all you want, but the gap here is not as insignificant as its being made out to be. if padme were closer to 30, i would understand. but she isn’t and i, personally, disagree with this. 

padme did set boundaries with anakin. he respected them. he, to my memory so i could be wrong but i don’t think i am, never makes an advance on padme after that very awkward reunion moment that is not accepted and reciprocated. anakin lets padme set the tone in this relationship and padme, for the most part, does try to keep things neutral. but again, she is an adult and anakin is an adult and they both possess a physical attraction. beyond that, they are genuinely interested in each other. they have led very different lives and are in very different places from when they first met each other. 

padme is not grooming anakin. she’s not manipulating him or taking advantage of him. the only reason she confesses her feelings to him is because they are literally about to die? and she’s like well fuck it i want you to know this isn’t one sided. but then they survive and it’s become a situation on both sides where neither of them can ignore their feelings for each other. if genosis hadn’t happened, i dont think they would have ended up together. they didn’t have that moment and that’s the major difference maker here. 

like if you want to argue anything about padme it’s that she really was throwing some mixed signals at him. she kisses him when they first get to naboo then is like Oh No Nope then they’re having the picnic and That Romp and then it’s like No We Can’t again. that’s essentially it. 

whenever padme makes a decision in the relationship, anakin grits and bears it because he wants to make her happy, yes, but he is also respecting her decision even if he disagrees with it. he Does Not want her spying on clovis because she shouldn’t be spying on him. she is in very real danger of being found out and executed and he knows that. she does, in fact, get found out and poisoned if i remember the first part of the arc right. and it’s not to say that padme isn’t capable and can’t handle herself because she can, but there are some things anakin is right about - especially when it comes to clovis. 

i don’t generally comment on other people’s opinions because we’re all allowed one but this is a pretty fundamentally unsound and strange one to have. but, again, that’s my opinion. do with it what you will

I really don't like Padme. I know they wrote her, a woman twice Anakin's age, falling in love with him because it was a man doing everything and child predation from women isn't taken as seriously but it still makes me hate her guts. And it sucks because her character itself is FINE. More than fine. She might've been a favorite character if they'd just let her meet Anakin when they were both ADULTS. But I wondered if they did it to make their relationship even more unhealthy and toxic. Wdyt?

This is the Padme anon and I just wanna say before you misunderstand,,,teenagers molest children the same as adults do and I myself have had that experience. So the fact that she's 'also a child' when they meet means less than nothing because it's possible for that kind of power imbalance to happen, even between children. And it is especially egregious here because Anakin obviously worships the ground she walks on and looks up to her and I just really wish they'd met when they were adults. 

This is the padme anon and just to be clear, I am not ranting at you or anything, I just am. Very tired of seeing everyone going 'boohoo poor padme' which is totally valid but also not addressing the ickiness on the other side of their relationship.

Hello anon! So there’s two primary reasons I don’t ship Anakin and Padme: 1) Anakin is abusive af, B) The age gap, and Padme’s role in it. I’ve already talked about Anakin and him being abusive here, so now i’ll talk a bit about Padme, woman on man abuse, and why their relationship is so problematic. 

Before I continue, Padme is NOT at fault for Anakin’s attraction towards her, nor is she deserving of what happens to her. 

In short, Padme and Anakin never should have been a thing. Ever. It is downright creepy. The moment Anakin approached her, an adult, with romantic and sexual advances, then she should have set up proper boundaries, and reported his behaviour to Obi-Wan.

As an adult, it was absolutely Padme’s responsibility to distance herself from Anakin when he approached her. There is absolutely no seeing past this. Their relationship started when he was literally six, and she was fourteen. An advancement of a relationship from that age just screams grooming.

Keep reading

[knightdecay]

i know i owe things but the brain just aint there rn laddies n laddettes 

[knightdecay]

i am begging yall to stop trying to have fake woke deep meta on anakin because then I have to read it and it hurts my brain :c i am putting said meta below the cut so you can all suffer with me

In Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Anakin Skywalker doesn’t engage in the same type of play as the other characters mentioned above. There is no model, doll, or action figure that seems central to his imagination. Instead, he focused on what he has built. One such creation is especially striking, as it looks like a human-sized, autonomous action figure: C-3PO. Not only is C-3PO humanoid in appearance, he interacts with the world in a way that is identifiably human. When Padme meets the droid, she refers to this creation as “he,” and gives every indication that his feelings are just as legitimate as those of a flesh-and-blood person.

The interaction between Anakin and C-3PO sounds a little different, though. While Anakin does claim that C-3PO has been “a great pal,” he also uses predominantly technical language toward him, apologizing for not getting to “finish” the robot and put “coverings” on his exposed circuitry. (Earlier in the film, this conversation is framed as C-3PO being “naked,” but to Anakin he is simply unfinished, an important distinction when thinking about differences between the language assigned to human bodies and the jargon reserved for man-made objects.) It also seems as though C-3PO understands Anakin to be not father or brother but “maker.” Anakin notes that C-3PO could be sold, though he’ll try to make sure his mom doesn’t do that. All of this is evidence that Anakin tends to view C-3PO as more of a large, self-made toy than as an equal.

Since we know Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader, this paints young Anakin’s play in a troubling light. In a universe that clearly has toys accessible to even the poorest characters, Anakin chooses to build a robotic person without granting that creation personhood. Instead, C-3PO can never be anything more than a playful project in the eyes of his creator, easily abandoned when a more interesting opportunity comes along. Anakin’s toys can look like people, and they can be discarded when they no longer serve his purpose. When we consider how Darth Vader treats the people he encounters—Force chokes, lightsaber battles, manipulation—we see his evil as rooted, at least partly, in his play. Here, again, the Force is a factor: Darth Vader has given himself to the Dark Side. But, given that we have seen his version of childhood play, the Dark Side may only exaggerate tendencies that were there from an early age. Anakin doesn’t value his “toy” person, making it less shocking that Anakin fails to value the actual people that will later surround him.

To be clear, this isn’t to say every kid who trashes their toys will turn out to be a some kind of sociopath. Virtually all credible research on play suggests that play itself does not cause violent behavior. Play, regardless of its manifestation (within reason), is an important part of development. However, obsessive behavior (whether it occurs in play or not) that occurs over a long stretch of time can be one of many factors that negatively impact one’s social development. Anakin’s disregard of the human-shaped C-3PO provides interesting metaphorical mileage, but perhaps more disconcerting is the time it must have taken the very young Anakin to build such a complex machine, only to toss him aside on a whim.

[knightdecay]

rbeljedi​:

Well, he didn’t like the nap portion of it– but it was about the best deal he was going to get if he wanted to go down to the lava fields at all.  And he was a little tired still.  He rubbed at his right eye with a fist, since talking about being sleepy made him sleepy all over again.  “ ‘m not tired.” He whined, an obvious fib, but he didn’t press his luck.  “I wanna see t’lava feels. I’ll be good.”   It was a better deal than he’d get out of Four Cee, at any rate.  

His father’s ascent that blistmoks were more exciting to watch at night made him perk up and grin – maybe it wasn’t all bad.  It seemed like even though they were making deals, maybe his father was still on his side after all, and Luke gave a fierce nod.  He’d be good, he’d even take a nap if they could go, together, to look at the lava and watch the blistmok hunts.  

He pops off the edge of the bed to go to the package at the foot of it, all trace of pouting gone, though his eyes are still tired, and he dances back and forth from foot to foot, looking at the present, then eagerly to his father.

“C’n I open it?” 

        that was one problem sorted - somewhat. he still needed luke to actually sleep and letting the young child rifle through the objects - toys and the like , from a variety of planets and cultures - that vader had collected while he was away from mustafar wasn’t conducive to that. in the slightest. he doesn’t have the energy nor the desire to argue with his cranky son about it ; not when he needs the rest himself. he swipes a hand across his face , wiping sleep from his eyes , before luke looks back to him. 

“  well , it won’t open itself , will it?  ”     he answers and nods his head in encouragement. vader turns and settles back against the headboard of luke’s bed , ankle draped across his knee and one hand folded behind his head. something tells him he ought to let luke know he should use the force to open the crate , to avoid any outbursts or irritation with the surprising lack of simplicity , but he refrains - curious as to how long luke will take to figure out the puzzle set before him. 

[knightdecay]

rbeljedi​:

That sounds like encouragement at first – Luke wants to see the blistmoks hunting!  But apparently it isn’t an additional fun part of the adventure, but a warning, and his expression turns crestfallen.  He was sure they could be sneaky and quiet and not let the blistmoks see them and even if they did – he wasn’t afraid of some mean old blistmoks ! and he didn’t believe for a second that his father was either. 

Even at his tender age he could spot a distraction coming – maybe because he felt like he’d had experience with such things already.  “Yeah…”  It’s not as good as going down into the lava fields, but it is something to do with his father and that’s the most important part.  The worst is when he’s gone, and Luke can’t leave, and he keeps … feeling things – things that are missing.  People, maybe.  It makes him want to be anywhere but cooped up inside the castle; maybe not even on this hot and dark planet.  

“Maybe we c’n go see the lava feels later?  Before you go? I’ll be nice to Vaneé, promise!”  

        vader’s long stride carries them to luke’s room and the door slides open with a soft whoosh as they approach. inside , a crate sits at the foot of luke’s bed - waiting to be opened and thoroughly searched by the youngster in vader’s arms. he can sense the disappointment within luke , wouldn’t have to be in the same room or even a force user to tell luke would rather be doing something else , as he sets him down on the bed before settling next to him. 

“  i’ll make you a deal ,  ”      he says , yellowed eyes meeting luke’s brilliant blue ones.     “  once we’re done and you’ve taken a good , long nap . . . we can go to the lava fields. just the two of us.  ”      vaneé rarely ventured out of the castle and vader rarely brought four cee along with them unless it was absolutely necessary. the 501st would accompany them , at a distance , to ensure none of the natives interfered.     “ besides . . . blistmok hunts are only exciting at night.  ”

[knightdecay]

generalkenobii​:

     “And is that what you want to do? Collect artifacts? I must say I never took you for the sort.”  Obi-Wan doesn’t have to look at his Padawan to know he’ll be met with a disgruntled expression; he knows perfectly well that archaeological exploits are far from what Anakin considers exciting and engaging. 

Sometimes Obi-Wan wonders if Anakin expects their every waking day to be filled with the same harrowing excitement as when they’d met. Obi-Wan supposes he can’t entirely fault him for it. Qui-Gon hadn’t had the time to instill a realistic expectation of a Jedi’s day-to-day life and Anakin had just been a child. Obi-Wan himself had gone from student to teacher within the course of a day, a twist of fate which still, even years after the fact, finds him spending so much of his free time pouring over information in the Temple Archives– anything to make himself into a Jedi Master that Anakin deserves.

     “I’ll grant you that we’ve been planetside for longer than usual.”  Obi-Wan pauses his reading at Anakin’s comment, but for all appearances he remains focused on the text before him. Obi-Wan knows that any remark about the Chancellor - questioning or otherwise - is bound to incite an argument. Obi-Wan has never hidden his opinions regarding politicians and has tried to instill a healthy awareness of their duplicity to Anakin, but the line seems to blur when the subject falls to Palpatine. He’s been careful to mask it since the day the Chancellor had undercut him in order to insist that his Padawan accompany him for some errand, followed by Anakin considering leaving the Order. Though a year or so past now, it had struck a negative chord, one Obi-Wan hasn’t entirely been able to shake. 

Finally looking away from his reading to Anakin–  “Your lightsaber instructor had good things to say today.”

       he scoffs , somehow slinking lower into the seat at the thought of actually spending his time collecting and studying artifacts from across the galaxy. some of them are neat , but why would he want to waste his time scrounging around in the dirt when he could be out there helping people - saving people? artifacts seemed so pointless and inconsequential next to that. even obi wan , who always seems to be reading or studying some text or another and when he isn’t doing that he’s discussing the things he’s read and studied with other jedi , has to be bored with being stuck here. how is anything they’ve learned supposed to be of actual use to the galaxy when they never get to see the kriffing galaxy?

anakin glances around , then , as if he expects madame jocasta nu to appear from nowhere and reprimand him for the thought. or for slouching so abhorrently in his seat. he doesn’t straighten himself out though , just turns his attention to obi wan with the slight craning of his neck over the top of his holobook to eye his master. a narrowing of blue eyes follows. 

“  you’re changing the subject , master.  ”     

any other time , he’d be intrigued as to what all his instructor had to say about him to obi wan. he knew how good he was with a lightsaber - better than everyone his age and even some older than him - but it was , again , one of those situations where anakin felt like no one else seemed to realize it. they had to. obi wan , surely , had to have realized it. but this time , anakin knows this acknowledgment comes because obi wan doesn’t understand how chancellor palpatine is only looking out for anakin. 

at least his master didn’t hear him through their bond.     “  don’t deny it either.  ”     he smirks , cheeky in the wag of his eyebrows.     “  i’ll know.  ”

[knightdecay]

rbeljedi​:

Luke screwed up his nose at even his father’s betrayal.  He liked Four Cee; she was better than the other nanny droids, not just fussing and fawning but she acted more like … like a real person.  He liked that about her.  But she was also less easy to fool than the other nanny droids, which meant no visiting the lava fields, even when he tugged on Vaneé’s cape to ask nicely.    And then harder.   

“I only wan’ed to play.”  He murmured.  He was sad when Daddy went away.  Four Cee was the only one to play with and he’d explored all of the castle that he was allowed in ages ago.  “I was gonna be good, honest!” he protests, knowing full well that it’ll fall on deaf ears.  When his father spoke, everyone listened.   There wouldn’t be any talk about lava fields now.  

He sighs, a big heartfelt one that seems to take the wind out of his whole body, and goes limp against his father’s shoulder.   He doesn’t like this kind of answer, but he knows better than to argue against it any more.  It’s the same answer every time. 

“C’n we go somewhere?” He perks up, lifting himself up to look at his father’s face,  “We could go down ‘n’ lookit the lava feels.” Maybe he’d be allowed if he was with his father … 

          when it comes to something luke wants , he’s like a dog with a bone. it’s easier to give in , to grant him what he wants and let the fixation with it pass , but he learns nothing if he’s just constantly handed things. if he just asks and receives. though , vader supposes , being the young master of the castle when vader is away doesn’t do much to discourage that behavior. 

he pays a brief glance down to his son , the far side of his mouth quirking in amusement at luke’s less than subtle suggestion , before looking back up with a hum.     “  i suppose we could . . .  ”     neither of them were likely to be resting any time in the near future ; the sooner luke tired out , the better for everyone - not just vader.     “  i did see a pack of blistmoks hunting as i was returning though. they might still be out there. and if we go out , you won’t get to see what i’ve brought you.  ”

[knightdecay]

sometimes a family is a nineteen year old military general, his fourteen year old apprentice, and a thousand men who seem older than both of them but are actually ten years old.

[knightdecay]

𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 

bold - applies always. italic - applies sometimes. strike - applies never.

inclinations / habits .

is submissive   |   is dominant   |   prefers to top   |    prefers to bottom   |   likes to switch   |   identifies as heterosexual   |   identifies as homosexual   |   identifies as bisexual   |   identifies as pansexual   |   identifies as demisexual    |   identifies as asexual   |   enjoys sex with men   |  enjoys sex with women    |   enjoys sex with multiple people at one time    |   initiates    |  waits for partner to initiate   |   spits   |   swallows   |   prefers sex in the morning   |   prefers sex at night   |   prefers sex at any time   |   no sex drive   |  low sex drive   |   average sex drive   |   high sex drive   |   hypersexual

body / appearance .

small build   |   medium build   |   tall build   |   athletic build  |   muscular build   |   curvy build   |  voluptuous build   |   wears boxers   |   wears lingerie  |   goes ‘commando’    | shaves/waxes   |   doesn’t shave/wax  |   cup size a-c   |   cup size d-f   |   1-5" in length   |   6-9" in length   |   10" or over in length

sounds .

is silent / makes little to no sounds   |   is very quiet   |   is very loud  |   grows in volume over time  |   bites hand / partner / pillow to muffle themselves   |   calls out partner’s name    |   curses   |   fakes/exaggerates  |   prefers a quiet partner   |   prefers a loud partner   |   no preference   |   is turned on by dirty talk  |   is turned off by dirty talk

turn ons / kinks .

having their hands pinned   |   pinning their partner’s hands   |   having their hair pulled   | pulling their partner’s hair   |   being watched (by their partner)  |   being watched (by a third party)   |   watching their partner   |   receiving oral    |   giving oral   |   calling their partner ‘daddy’   |   being called ‘daddy’   |   giving praise   |   receiving praise   |  biting / marking   |   being bitten / marked   |   spanking   |   being spanked   |   teasing   |   being teased   |   having toys used on them   |   using toys on their partner   |   giving anal   |   receiving anal   |   choking   |   being choked   |   dirty talk   |   being tied up   |   tying their partner up   |   being worshiped   |   worshiping their partner   |   humiliating   |   being humiliated   |   degrading   |   being degraded   |    knife play  |   blood play   |    food play   |   being pegged  |   pegging

places .

in a bedroom   |   in a shower / bath   |   in a pool / ocean   |   in a kitchen   |   in a bathroom ( home )   |   in a bathroom ( public )   |   in a car  |   in a tent   |   in an alleyway   |   in a field / forest   |   at a school  |  in an empty / abandoned building   |   in a library   |  on a rooftop / terrace   |   in a dressing room  |   in an elevator  |   in a parking lot   |   at a museum   |  at a cemetery   |   at a beach   |   in a closet   |   at a hospital

[knightdecay]

rbeljedi​:

He sits up a little straighter.  With his nap interrupted, there’s no reason to try to settle so much against Daddy now – especially when he’s been promised to see the treasures his father had collected on his latest adventure.   He keeps his hand wrapped tight in his father’s cape though, occasionally still dropping his head onto the broad shoulder because try as he might, he’s still very tired.  

“He wouldn’ let me play ina lava feels.” The word fields was still too difficult to say, “He says ‘you gotta listen to nanny’.”   Vaneé would certainly never use such a casual tone with the young master; but this was Luke’s retelling and he figured he got the gist.  He turns up his nose in a scowl, dropping his head to his father’s shoulder again.  

“I don’ like it when you go away.” 

      “  no , i imagine he wouldn’t . . .  ”      vaneé had neglected to mention the lava fields in his reports ; vader assumes it has more to do with the fact that luke never neared the fields than it does with vaneé attempting to hide the truth from him. he could imagine the tantrum luke threw at being denied his apparent princely right to roast himself alive however.     “  you should listen to four cee when i’m away though. she knows what’s best for you.  ”

the droid would be as cross as vader currently is over luke missing his designated naptime. she had more attitude than previous droids , but she suited luke best vader found and it was one less thing for him to worry himself with. 

with the body gone and the chamber quiet once more , vader moves from his view of mustafar and towards the exit of the chamber leading to his personal quarters.     “  one day you’ll get to come away with me. and one day i won’t have to go away.  ”     those days were still years away , but he’d already begun to craft a route to them - to a galaxy where he ruled , one where their family was whole again.     “  you’ll understand when you’re older.  ”

[knightdecay]

rbeljedi​:

“yeah.” He answers, though it comes out as more of a tired whine.  He’s not entirely awake yet, but he wants to be, and that makes it hard.   He thinks he was pretty good– but Daddy always knows when he’s been up to something he shouldn’t have, and he thinks it’s probably better to be honest up front.  “I pulleded Vaneé’s cape.”  For one so young, he already had plenty of his father’s rage.  Unlike Vader’s, Luke’s anger burned hot and bright and fast, like a short-lived blue star.   He hadn’t learned how to hold a grudge – not yet.  

“Yeah.” This affirmative comes as more of a relieved sigh as the boy clings to his father.  “C’n I come too next time?”  More than anything, he wanted to come too – he missed … someone. He could quite remember who …  

     amusement twitches the corners of vader’s lips at the admission , something he imagines vaneé tolerated with a fair amount of exasperation. but vaneé’s existence revolved around pleasing his master ; by virtue of watching over luke and keeping him out of trouble , vaneé completed his task of pleasing vader.     “  perhaps . . .  ”      he hums , adjusting his grip on luke and holding him more upright.     “  why did you pull vaneé’s cape?  ”

[knightdecay]

rbeljedi​:

With the noises, the quiet call out for someone to come clean, and his father finally standing, Luke’s awake again. He’s still tired, still struggling with sleep – but there’s too much going on now, he’s afraid he’ll miss something if he keeps his eyes closed.  Groggily, he hangs onto his father, switching to push his face into dad’s shoulder when he carries him.  This is better than the noisy people bothering them.  He yawns, wide, and nods, rubbing at his eyes with fists still pudgy with baby fat.  

      vader turns his gaze to his son and uses his gloved hand to neatly sweep luke’s tousled hair from his face. luke’s eyes are as blue as his once were. the last veins of sleep are vanishing from within them when the chamber door opens and the mechanical whir of droids accompanies the quiet footsteps of organics. he pays them no attention and they do nothing to garner his.     

“  did you behave while i was away?  ”     he asks , brow lifting though he knows the answer. vaneé provides detailed reports of his son’s well being while vader is away , knows that if anything were to happen to the dark lord’s son that the wrath which would befall vaneé would be immeasurable and inescapable.     “  did you miss me?  ”

[knightdecay]

richard siken / salma deera / jen mazza / joy ladin

[knightdecay]

The Seeker, And Other Poems; ‘A light above the lake’ by Nelly Sachs tr. Ruth and Matthew Mead

[ID: resurrection already hurts.]

[knightdecay]

vader tag dump nothing to see

[knightdecay]

I can not, in good conscience, stand idly by while people are in danger.

That doesn’t change, no matter who I have to face.