konkuurito

[konkuurito]

hey everybody. sorry i haven't been around at all lately, i've basically just felt kind of weird about being on tumblr recently. it's just the vibe of the rpc that's been making me not want to be here. i still love jay and love writing him, but the reason why i've been so inconsistent is i just have more fun writing with closer friends on discord. so let me know if you would like to have my discord!

that being said, i'm not deleting jay or anything--i still love this blog. i'm just gonna stop apologizing for not being here, and be here whenever i feel like i want to be. hope that makes sense. love you guys.

[konkuurito]

THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND || Bad Omens [\m/]

[konkuurito]

i'm sorry i haven't been here yall, i feel like rotten ass mentally so i'll be here when i can be 💖

[konkuurito]

tagged by: @boyinvisible tagging: @snnynatural @throatsplit and whoever would like to do it!!!

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[konkuurito]

i was planning to be on today, but i have an extremely bad headache. so, for now, i am sorry for being weird about not being here lately. love you guys. smoochies.

[konkuurito]

these violent delights.

dialogue prompts from these violent delights by micah nemerever.

i never told you my name.

who puts those awful ideas in your head?

you're forever assuming the worst.

what's that face? you look like you're going to cry.

you're one of those people who worry all the time, aren't you?

i don't worry, i ruminate. they're distinct actions.

nothing made you. you just are.

beautiful things are supposed to hurt.

people tell you you're shy all the time, don't they?

i don't know how i ever got on without you.

a little trouble is a good thing for a young person.

i wasn't born yesterday. i know what kids get up to.

it's good to have guns to stick to.

you could do anything to me and i'd let you.

i'm not ready to be seen. not yet.

i don't need you to treat me respectfully. i'm not made of glass.

tell me you love me, at least. please. i need to know somebody does.

do i look normal? i can't tell if i look normal.

you can get away with anything, as long as you act like an authority on the truth.

don't tell me what i want.

you know you're just about the worst liar i've ever met.

i don't think you've ever felt anything that didn't hurt you.

you're so square, you're a cube.

i just want you to believe me when i tell you you're worth something.

there are limits to what you can expect people to understand, without living it.

you can't fight everybody all the time. you still have to live with them.

i forget how blue the sky can be outside the city.

i'm going to push you off a cliff, you fucking boy scout.

thank you for trusting me with this.

be a kid while you still can.

please believe in the things i try to tell you, instead of the things you think you deserve to be told.

if the sun touched you for even a moment, you'd go up in flames. like a vampire.

your voice changes when you're angry.

what a lonely, dreary thing it is to know the truth.

you never look away, even when your eyes are closed, but i'm never certain you can see what's really there.

tell me you need me. in those words.

can i tell you something? that i'm all but certain you won't believe?

i never lie to you. but sometimes, i wish i could.

you never let me pretend the truth is alright when it isn't.

you have a profound, elusive sadness about you.

you didn't. please tell me you didn't.

you and your awful little games.

why would i bother to grow my own conscience when you're always around to pester me?

you're going to help me escape.

this house is a shadowbox, never meant for human things.

you have no right to stop me, and you're not going to try.

you're sweet, when you want to be.

do you want me to kill ____? i mean it.

it might do you good to be an orphan.

you're just so sincerely creepy.

wealthy people pay handsomely for the privilege of ignoring cries for help.

i've never seen you like that before. not once.

i've decided to learn to be impulsive.

the worst damage humans do isn't rooted in malice, but in thoughtlessness.

there's such a thing as right and wrong. anyone can figure out the difference if they're willing to think for themselves.

there's no part of you i can't see.

i don't want to hurt you. please don't let me.

you're ridiculous, sometimes. but that's alright.

i don't want you right now. go home.

i'm not like you. i don't even have a shape of my own to hold anything else in place.

i'll never matter the way you do, and you know it.

say what you need to say.

if you say the word 'deserve' one more time, i'm driving us off a bridge.

i've been meaning to talk to you about ____.

i'm worried about what you're getting into.

you don't see me. you can't. you never could.

it's your life. you're entitled to make your own mistakes.

i want you to know you deserve better. you don't have to put up with ____.

you scare the hell out of me. you really do.

you look the same way you always have.

i was worried i'd lost you.

i'll take care of you. i don't need you to be brave.

all i want to do is make you happy, and you're the unhappiest person i've ever met.

i would rather be cruel than weak.

i want you to let me be nice to you today. i don't care if you think you deserve it.

this place looks like somewhere in a jigsaw puzzle.

it's always been real for me. every second.

please don't say anything to my mother.

we can't fix it if you don't tell me what happened.

i'll call you when i can stand the sight of you. don't hold your breath.

hiding the truth is still lying.

i thought you'd finally trust me if you knew i'd kill for you.

i'm just as much of a monster as you are.

i was missing part of myself my whole life, until i met you.

righteous fury leaves no space for fear.

you can always talk to me. about anything, okay? i love you no matter what.

you played [game] in school, didn't you?

no one tolerates boredom worse than the idle rich.

someone needs to be looking after you.

you know you can't actually stop me, right?

i want to be able to look at you.

when you need to, you will understand.

i'm only ever early when i'm afraid.

people talk themselves into the strangest things when they want to look impressive.

in the end, there's no difference between trusting someone and underestimating them.

[konkuurito]

On anon or not, tell me what YOUR headcanons for my muse are.

[konkuurito]

ASSORTED SONG LYRIC SENTENCE STARTERS .

" something's gotten into you . " " you don't really look at me the way you used to . " " i'd rather die than cry in front of you . " " i wish that we had never spoke . " " i miss you . " " i need you right now . " " i wish you were right here . " " it's hard to leave you . " " we could never be a pair . " " all this time i thought that we could never be a pair . " " i don't need you . " " i don't need you ... but i miss you , come here . " " don't loosen your grip . " " you've got a hold on me . " " let's get back together . " " you gotta say that you're sorry . " " at the end of the story , you're holding me tight . " " if you wanna love me , try to get inside my brain . " " you could stay with me in my bed . " " if you want to , only if you want to . " " i don't believe any of it . " " you know you're better than this . " " you've been hiding . " " you look half dead half the time . " " i hate you for what you did . " " i miss you like a little kid . " " was hoping you would let it go . " " i'm sorry that it all went down like it did . " " i loved you at your worst . " " i know that you'll never feel sorry . " " don't you dare forget about the way you betrayed me . " " tell me , do you think about me ? " " i just gotta know what you and i would feel like . " " you're impressing me . " " i can't help reading into what you've been texting me . " " there's nothing i wouldn't do to hear you call me funny . " " guess i'm a sucker for you . " " come with me friday , don't say maybe . " " my life would suck without you . " " i know that i've got issues , but you're pretty messed up too . " " being with you is so dysfunctional . " " i really shouldn't miss you , but i can't let you go . " " you don't like that ? or do you just not like me ?! " " am i not sweet enough for you ? " " is that why you always avoid me ? " " i must be such an inconvenience to you . " " i'm just your problem . " " i'm sorry that i exist . " " i forget what landed me on your blacklist . " " i shouldn't have to be the one that makes up with you . "

[konkuurito]

hi guys, feel free to send in memes, especially if we haven't interacted yet. not feeling the best today but I will try to be on to write later. have a good day (and have a random pic of duck jay)

[konkuurito]

the dichotomy of man: jay's favorite movies are hellraiser, pearl, and ponyo

[konkuurito]

without naming them, post a gif from ten of your favourite films and then tag ten people to do the same! tagged by: @chrislaplante (thank you for tagging me this was fun) tagging: @racointeur @d4rkpassengerz @throatsplit @t-errifier @snnynatural @walkeddeath @citizenstarlight @boyinvisible @saighdaer @abysswarden

[konkuurito]

[konkuurito]

if your muse sleeps with bakemono jay, yes, they are a monster-fucker

[konkuurito]

a reminder that i don't really write people starters unless we've talked about it/plotted it out, and sending in memes is the best way to interact with me! so feel free to send plenty!

[konkuurito]

you guys want to add jay on wire so bad oooohhh you can't resist ooohhhh

[konkuurito]

good morning, it's time for depressing nsfw headcanons for jay, might be triggering so proceed with caution.

there's a certain point, a couple of years after escaping the brothel, where jay tries to hook up randomly with several men just to feel like his old self again--his old self who used to sleep around and have FWBs constantly. of course, he is absolutely not ready to sleep with anyone he doesn't wholly trust, so all of these situations end with jay panicking, becoming catatonic, and then leaving.

it's because of this that jay just stops trying altogether for several years until he meets someone he trusts, thinking that he's broken and can never feel normal ever again.

[konkuurito]

𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑳𝑬𝑺𝑺 𝑬𝑫𝑰𝑻𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑱𝑨𝒀 𝑲𝑼𝑹𝑶𝑵𝑼𝑴𝑨 -- i'm in too deep, i make-believe. i know the demons always choose me. they shift and twist, push back again. they're always trying to consume me.