korrasera

[korrasera]

the reason you don't get to have transandrophobia is because it was coined as and is primarily used as an anti-transfeminist tool, a thing that you can accuse trans women of doing to you when we speak up about our own oppression or are, like, impolite to you. a huge part of the reason transmisogyny exists as a word is to describe the ways that tme trans people are capable of oppressing transfems, so of course the counterpart exists to accuse trans women of the opposite.

[korrasera]

the "trans inclusive radical misogynist" joke is unfunny for myriad reasons but chief among them is, like, for the logic of the joke to work it implicitly requires the belief that transmisogyny is not misogyny and that the default approach towards trans women is not already to impose violent and dehumanizing levels of misogyny on them

[korrasera]

Not to start Disk Horse but my two cents on the whole "misandry is real" thing is that most forms of inequality that men face are still the result of a society that views them as superior. Which is misogyny.

[korrasera]

[korrasera]

people are so mean about horror movie victims like. sorry but if i had gone to a cabin in the woods with my friends as a teenager you couldn't have stopped us from reading aloud from the evil tome. how were they supposed to know the ancient curse was real they're like 17

[korrasera]

I forget who made it but I saw a post the other day talking about how a lot of trans women come out much later in life than trans men tend to (and hence why “egg culture” tends to be mostly centred around transfemininity) and it really made me reflect on my experiences with queer spaces and how things have visibly changed as I got older. I’ve been pretty heavily involved in queer and especially trans spaces, both in-person and online, since I was a preteen. While spaces and events for people my age were much more sparse (and harder to attend while closeted) as a kid, they did exist. But one thing that always stuck out to me was the complete absence of trans girls even at events mainly aimed at trans youth. I met a good few other trans and gnc kids at these events, but all, literally every single one of these people were perisex and assigned female at birth. Not a single transfeminine person to be found. This changed as I got older. I started high school. Slowly but surely the circles I hung around in became more diverse. I met trans women. I met and befriended gay and gnc “boys” who would later come out as trans girls. Now, as a young adult, the ratio of transmasculine to transfeminine folks in my life is near equal. But even now, the demographic of trans girls in my life generally skews older than the guys. And of course this trend is very reflective of the effects of transmisogyny in general, how the media targets trans women as the scapegoat for their hatred, painting ‘trans girl’ as a shameful and deviant thing to be. It is reflective, more than anything, of how we all need to be more steadfast in our support of trans women both in our activism and in our day-to-day lives. But I also think that everyone needs to make more of an effort specifically to support young trans girls. Transfeminine kids, teenagers, even young adults. Because I have met so many women that I know for a fact would have enjoyed their teenage years so much more if someone, anyone had been there to tell them when they were young that it was alright to be trans. The first friend I ever lost to suicide as a teenager was a trans girl. And I live every day of my life with the knowledge that if I hadn’t been her one and only source of support, she probably still would have been here today. Believe me when I say that I understand the importance of respecting people’s boundaries. I do think that insisting every gnc person must be trans is a bad and counterproductive thing to do. But I’ve also seen firsthand what happens when trans girlhood is treated like it’s a downgrade, it’s very suggestion a taboo. When nobody is willing to be the one to say “hey, it’s okay if you want to be a girl”. I believe with everything I am that the life and happiness of a single trans girl is more than worth the discomfort of a million cis men. And if you disagree with that sentiment I think you either need to fix your heart, or you need to make peace with the fact that you are a thoroughly vile person and endeavour to shut your mouth about transgender issues forever.

[korrasera]

you simply need to be able to recognize and criticize transmisogyny in general and not just the extremely over the top JKR type shit, you are not actually growing if you refuse to consider the idea that other queer people can reinforce and benefit from transmisogyny on smaller levels too

[korrasera]

happy PRIDE i’m here i’m queer and i believe the land should be given back to the proper indigenous stewards.

[korrasera]

did you really compare not liking incest fetishists with the lynching of Emmett Till or is that just a bullshit lie someone made up because it sounds too outlandish to be possibly true

this is what's known as reductio ad absurdum. I had a post talking about how the social ostracization campaigns against trans women for alleged sex crimes/pedojacketing/general "sexual degeneracy" shit are bad, and someone commented about how no real harm comes from these instances of harassment, so I replied with how "trans women are predators" fearmongering does lead to very direct violence, and how trans women are not the only group this has historically been used against, and talked about how in the US black people have been painted as sexual predators to justify violence against them, citing Emmett Till as an example.

Now, it's hard to drum up hate against someone talking about overlapping systems of oppression that, while not equivalent, have similarities in their histories that are worth looking at. But if you contract someone's point down as short as possible and replace each element of it with the most inflammatory thing possible, subbing in "incest fetishists" for trans women, and treating any discussion of similarities between different forms of oppression as "she's devaluing racism by comparing it to X" then yeah it sounds ridiculous.

At the end of the day, the people who do this sort of thing want to undermine any discussion of transmisogyny as unserious, so they do everything in their power to obscure what's actually said and make the most ludicrous strawmaid in its place. We see this time and again and again and again

[korrasera]

look i personally have a "no calling out usernames" rule on this blog, both for reasons of holding myself to a moral standard and of not wanting to make myself any more of a target than i am, but let me be clear; transfeminism does not exist in opposition to intersex rights and the intersex community. a handful of influential people on this website's intersex community want you to believe it is, because they are crypto TERFs. if you know who i'm talking about, i think you should unfollow them.

[korrasera]

This is another good reminder that binary trans isn't a thing.

No trans person validates the gender binary, there's no such thing as being a binary trans person, and that language only exists because some people want to cast trans people they don't like as cis-lite.

Is she a “binary trans woman” or is she a transfem who would go by she/they if it didn’t mean exclusively being referred to with they/them

[korrasera]

"An old professor of mine had this great thing. He said "On the level of individuals and civilization, personality predates ideology." Meaning that before you were a fascist, you were a bully and an asshole." -Brennan Lee Mulligan in conversation with Amy Vorpahl, Adventuring Academy S1E2

[korrasera]

I know a lot of those responses aren’t necessarily in good faith but it does make me think a lot of trans men are hearing “you have male privilege” and thinking i mean “you are exactly like cishet men, you are given accolades aplenty” and not “regardless of the oppressions you face you are still treated favorably to women in your same position”

Which to be fair is how most men react to the phrase “you have male privilege”

[korrasera]

So, this tweet is a lie, and a good example of why it's important to fact check claims of this nature, even if they sound like they're legit.

The bombing in question is the Dahyan airstrike [link] and here are some important facts about it:

The bombing was in 2018, 2 years after Obama left office. This was in the middle of Trump's first term.

The US military wasn't involved, it was a Saudi-led coalition that ordered and executed the bombing.

The bomb used by the Saudi-led coalition was a US precision guided munition.

Obama halted sale of these kinds of weapons to the Saudis in 2013 because the Saudi government demonstrated that they weren't taking care to prevent civilian casualties. [source]

Obama's decision to halt sale of the weapons to Saudi Arabia was reversed by Trump in a 2017 weapons deal and Trump authorized the sale of this weapon to the Saudi government.

In other words, this tweet is a lie.

The US is complicit in the bombing. It was not ordered by the US government or military. The president involved was Trump, not Obama. And importantly, these lies are being spread at a time when political protest against the Trump administration is at an all-time high.

You should not trust the account that wrote this tweet, they are not credible and should not be treated as a trustworthy source of information.

[korrasera]

“Authors should not be ALLOWED to write about–” you are an anti-intellectual and functionally a conservative

“This book should be taken off of shelves for featuring–” you are an anti-intellectual and functionally a conservative

“Schools shouldn’t teach this book in class because–” you are an anti-intellectual and functionally a conservative

“Nobody actually likes or wants to read classics because they’re–” you are an anti-intellectual and an idiot

“I only read YA fantasy books because every classic novel or work of literary fiction is problematic and features–” you are an anti-intellectual and you are robbing yourself of the full richness of the human experience.

[korrasera]

I mean this in the kindest possible way, but this misrepresents therapy and somewhat misunderstands why you shouldn't try to be your friend's therapist. And I need to talk about it.

A therapist is not an authority figure and they're not meant to be.

A therapist is someone from outside of your social circle that you can form a strong trust relationship with, rather than a friendship.

This relationship, paired with their training in how to help patients process thoughts and emotions, is what makes the therapy possible.

Therapists do not exist to replace genuine human connection. They are a different kind of relationship that you don't get from your friends, family, and community.

The support you get from your friends, family, and community is not a replacement for therapy or the specific benefits it provides.

Most importantly: Not everyone needs therapy and not everyone that needs help needs therapy, but everyone can benefit from therapy.

The role of a therapist is just a new specialization of a job that people have done probably for as long as people have existed. A few hundred years ago you might go see the priest at your local church, or an elder that helps people talk through their problems. People who you know, but who have a role outside of your own core community.

Therapists fill that same social role, but as professionals that are trained as medical providers held to an ethical standard.

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As to the reason why you shouldn't be your friend's therapist, it's not because it creates codependency.

It's because being someone's friend doesn't give them the kind of support they get from a therapist. Trying to be their therapist creates a potential for harm that can hurt both you and the friend you're trying to help.

Helping people work on their mental health is difficult work. Relying on your friends for that support places a substantial burden on them. Above and beyond the work they already do.

Your friends aren't trained in providing mental health support. This includes medical ethics that could warn them away from dangerous situations.

The closeness of your relationships means your friends can't be objective or unbiased about you. This can prevent them from providing care and it can also lead to ethical failures.

Relying on friends for therapy can erode the boundaries between you and your friends, directly harming your relationship.

Ultimately, therapy is more than just having a strong connection to your friends. Especially for those of us who are mentally ill. Some people live with chronic mental illness that can only ever be treated, and as good as healthy relationships with friends and family are, that's not a replacement for treatment. Even if you really want it to be.

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I also wanted to take a moment to talk about something I saw in the reblogs, said by @2forbiddencatsandahauntedtoaster

Strong communities don't need therapists Just like Strong communities don't need cops.

Again, I mean this in the kindest possible way, but this is completely incorrect.

Strong communities have always had people that were not your friends or family that filled the same role that therapists fill today. The difference today is now they're called therapists and they're a profession just like any other. They are in no way like cops and are actually very beneficial to any community.

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Ultimately, treating therapists like they're people selling you a product completely misunderstands why therapy exists as a profession. Your therapist will care for you and about you, but they'll be doing so as someone who's there to help you improve your mental health rather than as a friend.

It isn't outsourcing work that should be done by your friends and family, it's providing a service that your friends and family can't.

The fucked up parts of it, like...

the cost of health care (many therapists will try to compensate with sliding rates)

the potential for medical abuse (this is the reason that therapists have to be licensed and trained in medical ethics)

and how our communities don't really have a social role for therapists anymore (because it's not profitable to have communities anymore in general)

...none of that is a reflection on therapy as a profession. It's a reflection on the age we live in and the exploitation we have to live with.

Ultimately, I really do believe that the whole “don’t try to be your friends’ therapist” mindset has done more harm than good. I understand and agree with the original premise behind it—codependency bad, enmeshment bad—but it has morphed into something godawful that I can barely even stomach to look at. Why the fuck are we encouraging people to outsource critical mental health support and genuine, vulnerable human connection to authority figures who don’t necessarily give a fuck about us as people, with whom we have a tenuous client/employee relationship that is ripe for abuse and held together only by the exchange of money??? If I have advice for my friends or am capable of helping them with their problems in other ways then why the fuck would I not just. Do it. Why are we limiting the boundaries of actual fucking human relationships by expecting that no one will ever ask anything of us and we should never ask anything of them in return!!!! Do you people not see how fucking miserable and lonely that is!?!?!?! How can you people say that you truly care about your friends when you care more about holding them at arms’ length and “encouraging them to seek help on their own” rather than actually fucking helping them yourself when they ask it of you!?!?!?!?!?!

[korrasera]

Eroticism is simply one of the basic modes of human expression and the fact that it terrifies people who have built their lives out of repression and self denial is only more reason to make erotic art. They will not stop with their own lives, they want to punish anyone who doesn’t conform to the same standards of cruelty they heap on themselves. But of course it will not work. It has never worked before. Even under the most adverse conditions beauty has always found ways of flourishing. We refuse to hide or live in shame and fear. We will make beautiful that which they find repulsive.